Avatar of El Taco Taco

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Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
6 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
7 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
7 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
7 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

In Please Stay 7 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Omg!!! That's amazing!!! <3 that's so exciting!

yesssssssssss good excellent!!!
In Please Stay 7 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
I'm alive! Can't complain overall <3 How are you???

And yesssssss!!! I am always down for this game <3
In Please Stay 7 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
@SirensCall
MY LOVE I AM SO SORRY FOR LEAVING ILL NEVER ABANDON YOU AGAIN AHHHHHJJJJ❤️❤️❤️
i miss you and im so sorry love ahhhhhhhhh
im posting as soon as i finish running errands
@Erklings25
It's all good! I disappeared forevsies. I'm trying to carve out time to write again, I've just been literal garbage and forgetting to do so.F
I'm totally down to pick this up again, you'll just have to forgive my hella sporadic posting schedule bc I am p much just a mess in a vaguely human shape at this point
@Alfbie

a wild, incredibly belated, post appears
It was the quietest meal Chamera had had in months. She had spent weeks with Pan and his company. Their campsites had been merry, a collection of misfits trading stories and laughter beneath Selune's shining face and her cloak of stars. When they traded the road for inns, Chamera had traded her songs for accomodations and glittering golden coins. And before Pan, there had been Everlund, the first home she had truly known since Athkatla.

She'd spent her whole life laughing over friendly meals, fingers dancing across strings and voice raised in song.

There was no reason to sing now.

Chewing her slightly stale hard tack, Chamera could no longer ignore the gravity of just how thoroughly she had bungled her mission. Be discreet, the order had told her. Do not let the Zhentarim know you walk among them. Report back when you have answers.

She had ravaged the town, thumbed her nose at the Zhents and might as well have screamed the Harper's code at them, and left with nothing more than sketches of the runes covering the town and a half formed theory as to how the bastards had conquered the dale.

As far as jobs went, Chamera couldn't think of anything she had managed to do quite so badly in all her years adventuring.

The dr--Jeron, she reminded herself sharply, had turned his back on her, hunkered over his bowl like she might rip it from his hands. Chamera didn't know what to make of the young man, so guarded and sharp. In a way, he reminded her of the alley rats she had known as a child; they had that same look in their eyes. Cagey, vicious, distrustful, like someone might strike them at any moment if they were more than shadows. Chamera hadn't realised how justified that fear was until she had been much older and elbows deep in the guts of slavers preying on the alley rats of another city.

"I'll take first watch," Chamera remarked as she scraped the remaining foodstuff of her bowl into the flames. They would need to snuff the flames out soon and settle into silence. "We cannot linger here for more than a few hours. We need to get moving and find the road south to Suzail before the Zhents or the wilds find us."

Tucking her bowl and fork back into a canvas bag and depositing them in her pocket plane, she shifted through the pack until a coil of rope and hook and a spindly, green wand came to hand. She could find a home in the tree above Pan and get a decent view of the area, and hopefully pick off anything that might come for them in the night.

Chamera winced as she rose to her feet, joints creaking in the night. She gazed out into the night for a long moment, ears twitching faintly as she listened, cataloguing the low hum of the woods. She flicked her gaze back to her conscious companion, forehead creasing as she attempted a smile.

"There's a bedroll in the tent you can use. Get what rest you can; I'll need you on watch in a few hours."
I'm so sorry! I had some personal life nonsense there for a bit and I am sorry I am the worst garbage partner everrrr ahhhh

I miss you!!!! How are you my love??
Nope but can you make my brain work so I can figure out how to write again?

Also hi I miss u<3
Boooooop!
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