Xiuyang Solari
The Sage and the Scoundrel
Xiuyang followed the sagely twin, Emperor Ten-Re as he led her away from the gathering of other students. She was certain that this would be an unpleasant meeting, if not her end. As a Binder, Cold Soup had died on her watch—worse still, she truly got the impression that Mountain Spring was going to quit because of it, what with the way he had left her his gourd and just, walked off into the sunset. She clasped her hands behind her back, willing them to be still. Her voice too would have come out shaken were it not for her ever-present mask.
"...That was well handled, Wànsuìyé," Xiuyang offered, to break the desperately unbearable silence.
"Ah, the box? Just a fun little prank my brother came up with; entirely his idea," Ten-Re replied with a smile. Xiuyang smiled too, in spite of herself. She imagined that his brother would say the exact same thing.
"The lesson seems to have fallen on deaf ears, for now," she lamented.
"But your ears are open, yes?" the Emperor replied as he took a seat, and motioned for her to do the same.
"Like beaches to an ocean," came the smooth voice, even as her heart beat madly in her chest.
"Excellent! Mountain Spring told us all about you, you see—how you handled the negotiations well under pressure, and came to his aid when it counted, even though you promised no such thing." Xiuyang blinked. Well, it looked like she had it wrong about Mountain Spring quitting at least, so that was one strike from her record—but had she
really handled the negotiations well? Sure, her mask let her project an air of confidence, but ultimately she waffled and lost her footing. Mountain Spring had her firmly beat. To say nothing of Cold Soup... Ten-Re raised a finger.
"Tsk! Not a word; I can see the objections on your face. You said your ears were open!" Xiuyang scratched her neck sheepishly with a fingernail. There wasn't much face to look at, but when you were as old as the Emperor, she supposed...
"I'm listening..." "Then accept the compliment! You show great promise," he declared victoriously.
"Very practical people, the Solaris. Skittish, and quick to disappear in times of personal crisis, but always come through for their allies when it counts—an example of which we've seen today, I wager." Xiuyang shuffled awkwardly. She wasn't used to receiving praise, let alone from an Emperor. She also wasn't sure how seriously to take him, considering the circumstances.
"...I assume you pulled me away for more than just a royal pep talk," she offered politely.
"Ach, yes. Very practical people," he repeated, this time with less bluster.
"Truth is, you have some bad news coming your way. I'm cutting in line a bit, since I have something to say on the matter—softening the blow, you know?" "Oh, good. Bad news was in short supply lately," she replied facetiously. Needless to say, between being pressed into the service of sanguinaires, killing her first human, her friends nearly being fucking
eaten by dragons, and eldritch space squids...
existing, she had a lot on her mind. Her life had been forever changed by the knowledge of the knowers. Her willingness to owe sanguinaires a favor in exchange for a chance to save lives, including those of herself and her friends, didn't surprise her—but her willingness to kill a man in defense of a stranger she'd just met that very same day... perhaps it didn't call her entire system of morality into question, but it did frighten her some. They always did say that, while killing never gets easier—justifying it does, after the first. She wondered how she could just go back to her merchant life after this, and act like none of it ever happened—because what else could she do? Fight the knowers? She felt so... insignificant.
She thought she knew her place. Royals and Nobles moved the world. Merchants moved money.
It would be best if she returned to her place.
She couldn't.
She must.
"Your father plans to remove you from the company payroll." "...What?" The reply came before Xiuyang could control the emotions. Even the device on her face couldn't mask her anger.
"No. He—He would never." She wouldn't dare call the Emperor a liar, but surely he must be mistaken.
"'As soon as the draft passes over her, you'll have her place in the company.' Those were his words." "Who?!" Xiuyang demanded, her eyes wide with fury.
"Your brother-in-law, Eustace." A good man. Noble, and treated her sister well, from what she'd read.
Her countenance fell. Perhaps if she'd had someone to hate, this could have been easier.
"I... I don't..." she stammered, looking down at the table in front of her, as if to find an answer written in the lines of the wood. She grasped at her temples with her hands, as if to find deeper truth hidden in the locks of her hair, or the depths of her mind. Why?
Why?! She gave up
everything for this! She didn't have the beauty, charm or social grace of her sisters. She didn't have the social rank or the clout to move the world, nor the strength or courage to stand up and change it. What was she, now? Just a girl with high RAS? Just a number, nothing more—maybe that's all she
ever was. Just
numbers on a
ledger. "I don't have... anything else." Her hands trembled as she hid her face from Ten-Re.
"What do you want out of life, Xiuyang?" he replied with patient grace.
His words ought to have brought clarity. Such were his intentions, ostensibly.
Xiuyang, however, remained silent—not because she found herself unable to speak, for there was no need for her lips to move. Rather, she simply lacked the conviction to bring voice to her thoughts: to see the world. All of Sipentia, its peoples and cultures: art, music, tradition—the vivid tapestry of color that sentient beings brought to creation. To think that these unfathomably powerful beings could
sneeze and it would all be destroyed. It seemed so
worthless now—so
childish to cleave to these things as though they were her life's purpose.
"I... don't know," she lied, weakly.
For a moment, there was silence.
"...As a father, I suspect he did this to protect you from involvement in the brewing war. Could you be held responsible for the shipment of weapons that may be used against your friends, and think nothing of it?" he asked her meaningfully.
Xiuyang hesitated, only for a moment.
"This... is my strength. It couldn't save Cold Soup, but it—it's not worthless," she said, unconvincingly. After all, it was worthless if it couldn't be used. A sudden realization hit her.
"No, it—it is. I can't even honor my end of our deal anymore." Ten-Re shook his head.
"Fret not. You acted in good faith, and we intend to honor our end of the bargain anyhow." Xiuyang looked at Ten-Re like she couldn't believe her ears. Ten-Re smiled as their eyes met for the first time in a minute.
"You've been through a lot these past two days, Xiuyang. It's enough to make any young lady's head spin. Go home—get some rest, process everything. Worry about what 'your end of the bargain' may be later. Offer yourself just one kindness, and let go of your ego." "My ego?" Xiuyang replied, confused and borderline offended.
"Do not blame yourself for Cold Soup's loss. There was nothing more you could have done. It wounds one's ego to admit, but it's the truth." Xiuyang clenched her fist, objections stubbornly forming in her mind in spite of their foolishness.
"If you lack strength, reflect on that," Ten-Jiu interrupted, causing Xiuyang to shiver, startled. How long had
he been there?
"—and work for us! If you need more power, we will give it! The proof is in your hands. We reward hard work and loyalty, unlike some people," he added with a grin. Xiuyang's eyes drifted to the staff currently tucked in her elbow as she regarded his words. Ten-Re shook his head.
"Do not hate your father, Xiuyang. When you live as long as we have, old grudges seem like such small things; but to you, they are poison." "Bah! Screw'im! Anyone with eyes can see your talents being wasted. You wanna spend your whole life doing paperwork? Fuck that!" Xiuyang smirked. They had a point—but they most certainly had an agenda, as well, though she knew not what.
"Thank you for your wisdom," she said as she rose, intending to excuse herself.
"Our information network is vast. We'll be in touch," Ten-Re said with a wave.
"As always," Xiuyang shot back with a wink, straining herself to appear positive.
"Figured it out, have you?" Ten-Jiu smirked.
"...Yeah," she replied as she turned to leave.
Betrayal.
That was what she felt now, as she walked away from the Twin Emperors. This was
his fault—
his stupid fucking idea to come to ReTan, and now this. She'd intended to offer only what she needed to in order to be able to escape the sanguinaires, and he'd managed to cock that up thoroughly enough that she now owed them a blank check! She'd wanted to ask Ten-Re if he knew all along that she had nothing of value to offer—if they were toying with her from the start, knowing that she no longer held any real authority in her father's shipping company, taken from her as if he'd already given her up for dead, as if he'd
sent her here to
die if she didn't know the man any better. She certainly
thought she knew her father—no, she
did—but he'd
changed. And now... of what
use was she, to anyone?
She wasn't strong like Ashon or Jocasta.
She'd lost to Maura, in the end.
She couldn't outsmart Mountain Spring, who'd beaten her at her own game.
She couldn't even begin to touch the schemes of the Twin Emperors, who seemed to see and know everything.
If they could, they'd surely see what she saw: just a binder with high RAS.
One who refused to hurt anyone, or commit to anything meaningful.
Behind a mask, behind a tree, beyond the Emperors' sight—Xiuyang grit her teeth and wept bitterly.