Avatar of GreivousKhan
  • Last Seen: 3 yrs ago
  • Old Guild Username: greviouskhan
  • Joined: 11 yrs ago
  • Posts: 3459 (0.87 / day)
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    1. GreivousKhan 11 yrs ago

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@Darkspleen

Alright here's how you grade from top to bottom (34, 65, 77 ;)

Personality and Drive

This is rather short and to the point. You gave an (albeit very) basic idea of who your character is but I feel I don't get a real insight into the kind of person she is, still, I suppose the bare basics there.

5/10

History

Always a tough section for everyone and I know you struggled with this one. The main thing I look for here is if you hit all the points in the accession into a true Archon. It seems it touches on some of it, but I personally felt she came into her power a bit too quickly with little work. A natural talent would have worked, but I feel this was not made clear. She kind of just got the power a little out of nowhere and there was no talk of her being a natural born prodigy. In all this part kind of missed it for me.

6/10

Armaments

This is where things picked up for me. The first item is suitably creative, though I feel there are no discernible drawbacks except maybe available mana. The second item is at least a bit better as it comes down to a will resistance. Also, an obsidian dagger that was given to someone by Izalith... Sounds familiar XF lol

Stil you stay'd true to your characters themes. They are also fairly creative compared to what I've come across so far so bonus points there.

8/10


Discipline

I think I said all I needed to when I first reviewed this. A solid discipline befitting an Archon with all the flexible a school of magic should have while not being too insane. Also, who doesn't love transmutation?

8.5/10

Abilities

Covers everything I would need to know. Once again befitting an Archon while her limitations make sense given her expertise.

10/10

---

Final: 36.5

Your strongest attribute is clearly your creativity which is exactly the kind of thing a player of an Archon will need. That and activity, which is not something I'm worried about with you.

(Now without adding in the armament section the score actually 29.5)

@Dead Cruiser

Alright for the Edgelord himself. Kuth!

Personality and Drive

Well damn, I have to say this is one well-detailed app. I easily get a sense of who he is and what he wants. He has the exact kind of attitude an Archon needs to thrive in the Empire enflamed with the kind of ambition you might expect from just powerful beings as Archons.I have a strong feeling he will be a character many people will love to hate. Which is a win in itself really, as one can already see people have opinions about the man and the Rp has yet to even start.

10/10

History

There are not many parts in this sheet I find offense with. At worst I can say you took some liberties, but you did voice what you had planned beforehand anyway. Another strong section.

9/10

Armaments

So when I said there were few parts I could find any fault in, well this is not one of them since you never added any armaments to your app. I'll just have to pause this section and judge it later for fairness. Which could turn out to be a make or break depending. Since I'm already on the roll with this I might as well continue though.

-/10

Discipline

Blood magic.

Not too much reinventing the wheel here but you can't go wrong with a classic. The addition of the coven was an excellent touch and really expanded on the theme you were building already and fits solidly with the setting.

8/10

Abilities

This gives the run down of his capabilities quite nicely and I get a since this will be one scary dude all things considered. Never mind he rides a flippin skeletal dragon.

10/10

Overall: 37

I really enjoyed reading this app, it might just be the simple cause that it's well organized and I like necromancy though.

@Klomster

Alright, the last one up the Archon of Metal. (And possibly Rock n or rolling.)

Personality and Drive

I felt he had the right atitude for an Archon, but this section was rather lackluster in detail and length. I did not learn too much of the kind of person (or clockman) he was beside the fact he rules by fear and is made for war.

3/10

History

This goes into a real step by step rise to power that actually goes rather well into how one eventually becomes an Archon and is possibly the only one that shows so many stages. It's rather let down by the strange structuring of the app though that makes it hard to read.

7/10

Armaments

Have to say not very imaginative and a bit lackluster here. Lucky enough Dead is lazy and did not finish this section and I did not notice until I started. :p

-/10

Discipline

Now I think I went over most of the things that I did find strange or lacking in this Archons abilities. We have blood magic, polymorphing, shadow hopping, and a sleeping warrior who needs no introduction. While I love the look and feel of this Archon overall, from his name to his aesthetics do scream cool. His discipline lets him down heavily. His ability currently was more along the lines of a hero rather than an Archon. Since he is lacking magically offensive wise his durability alone would still have him around the level of an Exarch.

3/10

Abilities

Once again the abilities and powers perfect for an Exarch, but come short greatly for a juggernaut like an Archon. Summoning weapons and armor as an idea is interesting, but as the sample spells provided it is purely a support magic instead of something more flexible. At least as far as I understood it.

2/10

Overall: 15

Alright, so Darkspleen and DeadCruiser's app's are approved for the positions of Archon. Which means all Archon spots are now filled.

Klomster please feel free to keep your character and idea as it still fits the setting overall, however, there can only be so many Archons in the RP. I hope there are no hard feelings, but I did make it clear only two spots were open.

I will also like to add I tried to be as impartial as possible in this, thus I left it up to points and pointed out what exactly I found lacking or wanting as to why/how I came to my decision. If anyone has any problems or such to bring up please PM me. If not we'll continue onto the OOC. Which will be up TOMORROW at the latest. Feel free to make land grabs now Archon's and for Exarch players to pick your flavor of Archon poison.

Edit: and yes I know I left out one section, but I don't think it being included would have made a difference to the end result.





Looks like a good time, but I think I'll stick to being a regular Exarch.

For Kyros Izalith!


Excellent, I'm still waiting for some Archon apps but join on in the chat if you have any questions in the meantime.
Chatroom.
<Snipped quote by GreivousKhan>

Yeah, I can't access that.


Derp, I did not notice it was a temp one. Well, it was like 4 in the morning when I posted that chatroom so that's my excuse for not noticing right away.

CHATROOM LINK WILL NO LONGER EXPIRE.
I am interested, so long as, seeing as it is Iron Age, I can draw slight early Greek and Roman influences.


Of course, I'm still deciding on what the Empires' main inspirations will be. Though I was leaning toward greek and Roman, anyway. Other elements to follow.

Name: Vadigar


I like Vadigar already, much to work off here plot wise. Also, good call on that decision he had on winning his people over on his own. The exact qualities Izalith looks for in those who serve her. I should mention that the sun is not Izalith's sigil, it's, in fact, a black Rose (flower), but I can see the confusion given the name of the Rp as well as the fact the Black Sun is an occult symbol. The Black Sun, in fact, refers to the moon. The Black Sun to the White one and the balance between right and wrong. Expect to allot of moral gray in this RP.

Aside from that great stuff as always.

Also, the Chatroom is up for people wanting to discuss plots and work out character ideas, hang out or ask questions. I know you guys have plenty. Time to get the gang back together.

Chatroom.
@GreivousKhan

I'm a little uncertain while designing my character, how powerful exarches are supposed to be. Could you give an example of the kind of thing within their power, and an example for the kind of thing they can't do?

Also, are heroes just muggles with good gear?


As for the power of an Archon, I have been thinking a long time about how best to describe how powerful they are. So I'll use a mix of feats combined with comparisons with familiar characters from media, sticking to the realm of fantasy. Now a good starting place for Archons is to realize is they are far more than really powerful archmages. To say their demigods comes closest to the mark but might still come short considering this would conjure images of Greek demigods who are pretty damn tame in comparison. Now when talking about power, I'll like to draw the distinction between destructive power and raw potential power.

I may as well cover all the different types here and scale up.

Heroes. They are indeed just normal folks by all accounts. Kind of like fantasy batman, just normal dudes with good gear and training/upbringing. Capable of taking on a group of trained fighters on their own.

Exarchs would have the potential to take out a regiment on their own depending on their chosen schools of magic. A single Exarch would be worth 100 men, still, this is not universal as every Exarch will have different expertise. Something along the lines of the Dragonborn from Skyrim with full levels.

Archons -- If I was going to make an example of an Archon of full destructive power, let's say an Archon of Stone. In a region with high winds of creation, he'd be able to level a small city. Malekith, the Witch King from Warhammer, would be a good example. As for what they Can't do is that they are universally limited by the magic available in the region they are in. It often also comes down to the kind of magic they use. Since while all Archons possess magical powers, there is no other common thread between these women and men. An Archon might be made of fire, capable of conjuring storms, or able to heal with a touch - the only defining trait of an Archon is that this magic power originates from within.

The Archon of Shadow I'll use as an RP example. His power revolves around shadow and illusion magic. His main ability is his power to shadow walk, which is moving from one shadow to the next. He can even do this over long distances. As long as he has a perfect mental image of that place. So places he has visited numerous times. Beyond that his destructive ability is no more than mere heroes. However, his potential is incredibly dangerous.

In all, the extreme flexibility of idea's makes an exact power scaling difficult. But hopefully, my examples shed light on it.



Same, though I have no plans to give my character any powers beyond access to some magical artifacts. Perhaps he isn't powerful enough to be an exarch as a feudal lord piecing back together the shattered lands of the northern kingdom once ruled by his family? It's not terribly clear.


So a normal lord, or someone who just relies on mundane skill alone? An Exarch need not know any magic and can instead be an incredibly skilled warrior. If not I suppose he would just be average Hero type instead, but he'd not qualify to be the next Pontiff.

@Pepperm1nts I was thinking of allowing degrees of involvement like this. To a small few anyway. I'm willing to accept a unaligned hero character of sorts wondering about. Would give the unusual perspective of one person during a larger event like a war and having to deal with that.

I had the idea of plot hooks as I was going to treat this as a true sandbox world. So hopefully there will be more to do than in an average NRP from this perspective.

Alright, I got the current political map of the world woven by the esteemed hands of Iso.



The Empire, of course, is Illyrica with Lesmiana (An alliance of different kingdoms) being the next region to be conquered later in the RP.

When I get back home, I'll see about getting a rough outline for a climate map up.
<Snipped quote by GreivousKhan>

So... Could we get them?


Nah.

Anyway, here it is. I may change it a bit later on. Once I have my Archon's I will start the OOC. Then our Exarch's can choose which Archon to serve under.

Speical Note. Exarchs can only have three Relic's items to put under Armaments and can designate one of their heroes to use one or all of them. There is no limit to Hero characters at the moment. However, all players have the same number of relic items for their characters. Relics are items of magic power that in the right hands can be a threat to even an Archon.

Don't worry too much about history btw, until the OOC is open and I reveal more of the world's lore, history, and magic.





The scent of Tyranny abounds.


You're smelling thing.


All Archon Pm's have been sent, well I sent them as a group for fluidity. I might have to make a special chat from Archon applicants if any more show up.

In the Meantime if you Exarch players want your Character sheet for early brainstorming let me know.
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