Hokum

A Goat Named Jed

4

Amber had an idea, an idea simply to ensure that Jack was not actually a man who could tell when people were lying. So she lied to him, about mostly everything she was about to say, and by doing so – assuring he didn’t catch her out on it – she would prove, if only to herself for the sake of peace of mind, that he did not always know when people were lying.

‘I don’t know my real parents.’ She said, looking him dead in the eyes. ‘I was adopted and raised by a man that abused me in every way a person can be abused, and in every way a girl can be abused as well. If you know what I mean…. He made me feel like nothing. Every day. Felt like nothing. Good for nothing. Then… when he died, at last, I was stuck. Stuck in Greenfalls, stuck in the house he left me, unable to move on because I don’t feel like I can do it alone. Somewhere deep inside me, sometimes, I feel like I could do it - I could leave and be strong on my own in this word. But in the end his voice in my head keeps telling me I can’t. I just can’t. I’m good for nothing. And his voice always wins. I’m… just scared that if I do try… that somehow life itself with punish me and abuse me just like he did. So I stay, in his house, where I’m safe. Where life can’t hurt me like he did.’

Jack’s face slowly dropped in a depressed lull. By time Amber stopped speaking he felt a twisting knot of anger in his chest towards her father and what he had done to her. He wanted to kill people like that. In his sombre regard of her, lost in his pity for her, he took up his mug and had a sip from it.

‘That’s…’ He cleared his throat as he placed the mug back on the table. ‘I’m really sorry that happened to you.’

A Goat Named Jed

3

‘What are you talking about?’ Amber spoke so softly it was barely audible.

Jack asked, ‘What’s her name?’ He referred to the girl at the bar.

‘You mean Marianna, Jarlin’s daughter?’

‘Ah, Marianna,’ Jack confirmed and explained. ‘See, Amber, since I arrived, I’ve been watching Marianna attempting to wash the cups and plates that I suspect have been used by customers yesterday. Now, the act itself isn’t a bad thing – of course it’s good to keep things clean for the clientele. But the problem I have is that the water in the bucket she is using to dunk the dishes in is so dirty that it’s brown. I can’t even see a trace of soap in it, either. And the towel she is using to wipe the dished dry looks like it has never seen the inside of a cleaning tub itself. Basically, it would have been more hygienic not to wash the dishes at all. I have no idea how you people manage to survive under these conditions.’ He paused to frown, conceding, and added, ‘But I get it. You have very little hygienic awareness. But I’m sure your immune systems are strong as hell, stronger than mine would be under the same conditions. So yeah… I’m feeling a little reluctant at the moment.’

Amber was lost for words about this, having understood about 1% of what he had just told her. ‘Okay…’ she said, ‘…so I was right, then. You really are an eccentric crazy man. Where are you from, Jack?’ She asked the question leaning back in her seat as if she had just learned that she was talking to an escaped lunatic.

Jack sighed. ‘A long, long, very long way away from here. I doubt you would have heard of it. And, yeah,’ he didn’t appear offended or surprised, ‘I can see how someone in your position would see me as eccentric.’

‘So what are going to do for a drink?’ She had to ask.

He shrugged. ‘I’ll probably just go down to the river. Seems safer.’

‘Ah….’

They stared at each other for a long while, and it became apparent that she had forgotten her end of the deal.

‘Your turn to spill,’ he reminded her.

She appeared confused for a moment, then remembered. ‘Oh, yes right, of course.’ She gathered her thoughts, quickly rehearsing her story in her mind before sharing….

A Goat Named Jed

2

'Tell him,' said the voice in her head, 'tell him how much you want him.'

‘No,’ said Amber, then pulled her mouth to one side as she looked at Jack, ‘I can’t tell you why.’ She slumped defeated, her previous exuberance wheezing out with her breath.

‘Well that’s handy,’ Jack smirked, ‘nothing like more honesty to get an informative conversation up and running.’ He paused, eyeballing the bartender and his daughter for a moment. ‘Would you like a drink? I've started a tab. Might as well take advantage of it.’

‘No, I’m fine.’ She thought hard for a moment, and added, ‘What’s a tab?’

‘It’s when you get things on credit, as in, I drink it now, the purchase is added to my bill, and I pay that bill off at a later time.’

She considered this.

‘So… you aren’t just passing through then? She bit her lip dubiously. ‘You plan on staying in Greenfalls for a while? Why? There is nothing here. It’s a transient stop-by, at best.’

‘I may or may not be staying,’ he told her, ‘but I do have a job that will be paying me soon, so wouldn’t need to stay long. Besides…’ he looked around attentively, ‘I see nothing wrong with this place. Nice, quiet town – village, should I say? Quite pretty, actually. I like it.’

‘It is pretty,’ she had to admit, ‘but there is nothing going on here. It’s small, the land is haunted so people don’t want to expand, and it will never be anything more than a small stop-by.’ She seemed heavily burdened by this. ‘…what I‘d give to get out of this town.’

Jack was very interested in the part about the land being haunted, but decided to pursue that topic at another time.

‘Why don’t you?’ He asked.

'Why don't I what?'

‘Why don’t you leave?’

‘It’s complicated.’

‘Try me.’

She queered at him and avoided the question by glancing at his drink. ‘You going to drink that or just hold it all day?’

Jack regarded the mug in his grip, the murky fluid inside, then gave a reluctant glance to the girl who was still cleaning dishes at the far end of the bar. ‘Tell me why you can’t leave town and I’ll tell you why I can’t bring myself to taking a drink from this cup.’

‘That… doesn’t seem like an even trade to me,’ she replied, ‘reasons why I live my life how I live my life can hardly be compared to why someone won’t take a drink from their cup.’

‘You might be surprised….’ He thought for a moment, giving a furtive glance to the crease in amber's cleavage. ‘I’ll go first if you promise to tell me after.’

'Before I answer,’ she said, ‘tell me something. Are you thirsty?’

‘Yes, I am.’

She smiled vaguely and then gave her best compromising expression, ‘You know what? I would really like to know why a thirsty man refused to drink his drink. So fine, you got a deal – Tell me first, then I’ll tell you.’

In answer, Jack shifted his eyes toward the girl at the bar again. ‘I have strong doubts that I can take a sip from this cup without coming down with some deadly stomach bug.’

Amber’s pretty eyebrows almost switched position with the strained look of consternation she gave him.

A Goat Named Jed

1

‘And who am I talking to?’ said Jack, with an indulgent rise of one brow.

‘According to the sign above my shop my name is Amber,’ she replied acerbically, ‘can’t you read?’

Jack’s face dropped, the hand he had under the table was now placed on the table with the other, neither hand yet touching the mug between them. No actual indication that he had any intention of taking a drink.

He replied tartly, ‘As a matter of fact, woman, I can read, quite well. In any case, I had no need to read your unoriginal shop name to determine your own name because someone already told me who you were before I arrived - and consequently got the door slammed in my face. Thank you very much for your services?’

She ignored the derision. ‘Then why ask who I am if you already know?’

‘It’s called being polite,’ he grinned, ‘unlike slamming a door in someone’s face. Perhaps manners and courtesy and general politeness is an alien concept to you, then.’

She sighed. ‘Fine,’ she rolled her eyes, ‘just fine. I’m sorry, okay? I Mean…’ she sighed again and then rolled her eyes to the side as many people do when they lie; ‘I really shouldn’t have done that.’

‘Liar.’

‘Excuse me??’ She said, eyes snapping forward to glare at him in shock. ‘What was that you say?’

‘You’re a liar,’ he told her, making a show of speaking more slowly as one might talk to a simpleton to ensure they understand.

‘How dare you….’ Her voice whispered forth with astonished offense.

He stared at her, deadpan.

She stared back, derided.

They stayed staring like that for a while.

She finally asked. ‘And just how am I liar, you eccentric, crazy fool?’

‘You aren’t sorry, that’s how.’

‘And what makes you so entirely sure about that?’ she said, yet again overacting with a raise of both hands to show just how appalled she really wasn't.

‘I’m a professional at reading body language,’ said Jack, smiling smugly and finally gripping the mug with one hand, though he didn’t lift the drink from the table, ‘you can’t lie to me and expect me to believe you. You aren’t sorry for slamming the door in my face. The end. But that begs the question, doesn’t it? Just why did you come here to see me?’

A Goat Named Jed

Part 4

A Conversation

A Goat Named Jed

6

Amber stood for a moment while the double doors of the Inn closed behind her with a solid thud. There weren’t a lot of patrons about, in fact there were very few, which wasn’t a surprise. Greenfalls was a small place, and it was still morning. Most drinking was done later in the day, roughly when most visitors, if there were to be any visitors, arrived to rent a room on their way through town.

Jarlin was there of course - since he owned the place – a stocky fifty-odd year old balding man standing behind the bar with his arms crossed, brow furled, lips tight, a small towel slung over his shoulder like a badge of office. As for actual patrons, one bar stool and two chairs of the ten tables in the whole establishment were occupied. Perched on the stool at the bar with his back to Amber was a man of thin build, a rich traveller type by the looks of his clothes, and from that angle Amber had no idea if she knew the man or not. On the main floor, at one of the tables, was a local fellow named Barnibalus, Jarlin’s most regular customer, who could more or less be found drinking at Greenfalls Inn so long as he was awake to do so. In the far corner, at the other table and with a view of the entire room, was the Jack fellow. He was sitting with a slight slump, one hand under the table, one hand resting on the table next to his mug. He was watching Marianna, Jarlin’s daughter, cleaning dishes at the far end of the bar until Amber walked in the door, which was when his discomforted attention shifted completely to her instead.

As she made her way towards the table his eyes darted left and right as if trying to make sense of the fact that this woman, the same woman who had recently slammed a door in his face, was now on rout to his table.

‘Can I sit with you?’ Asked Amber, hand assumingly on the backrest of the empty chair across the table from him.

Jack squinted thoughtfully, eyes deviated to the bartender for a few seconds.

‘It’s a free country,’ he said, ‘I mean, it is a free country… right?’

She drew the chair and dropped herself down in it.

‘Well that depends on who you might be talking to, stranger.’

A Goat Named Jed

5

The man, Jack, left eventually. Amber followed him best she could through the louvers – that is after she picked herself up off the floor - and sure enough, as suspected, he entered the Greenfalls Inn across the street.

As she watched the door shut behind him, she instantly felt bad, but at least the voice in her head had shut the hell up. That damn inner voice, always seemed to turn up when least welcome. Not that it was every really welcome. Eventually, the guilt became too much, unreasonable even. She had turned people away from her shop before, but never had it played on her mind as much as this. She felt so bad that she decided not to trade at all that day. She just didn’t feel like facing anyone, and she sure didn’t want to take the chance of Jack returning. That would be embarrassing. She did, however, find it completely noble and reasonable in some undefined way to go find him at the Inn and apologise.

After tightening the laces of her bodice and slipping on her outdoor boots, she left her house and headed for Greenfalls Inn with a pronounced stride of determination.

A Goat Named Jed

4

Amber was now at one of the windows in her living area of the house, and although the shutters were closed, one of the louvers were loose and angled low enough at one end to form a crack she could peek out of. From there, hunched over and peering wide-eyed, she had a great view of the man, Jack. Yes, he was still standing on her front landing. Just standing there. Why? He wasn’t facing the house anymore, though, he was facing the street, he looked a bit confused. His brow was creased in thought. He rubbed his whiskered chin with thumb and finger. He took a moment to stare wonderingly at each building across the street. He spent more time staring at the Inn than any other building. He must have been wondering were to go from there - the Inn being the most alluring option at this point - as apparently being turned away from her store had set his plans off balance.

‘Typical eccentric,’ she said in a cussing tone.

‘Let him in,’ spoke the voice in her mind.

'No!' she hissed, 'just you shut up now, you hear?'

‘You know you want to,’ rebuked the voice, ‘why abstain from the things you desire?’

‘Shut up!’

‘You know you want him bad - just look at you, crouching and staring out the window at him. What the hell is wrong with you? Just let the poor guy in. He only wants to do some shopping.’

‘Just stop!’

‘I won’t stop, I know what you want.’

‘No, no you don’t!’

‘Yes, I know.’

‘No! You don’t!’ She snarled, hands forming into tight fists of frustration.

'Yes, I do,’ the voice insisted, ‘you want him so bad, so very bad, you want him in your shop, you want him in your house, you want him inside you.'

‘SHUT UP, YOU PERVERTED FOOL!!’

The man outside suddenly turned his head to look towards the window with an expression of both curiosity and caution. Not surprisingly, he had heard her shout. Now, even though he couldn’t have been able to see her in the darkness behind the crack in the louvers, it was like his eyes made direct contact with hers in that short moment before she found herself staggering backward, both hands covering her mouth. She tripped over a bucket and landed hard on the floor.

A Goat Named Jed

3

No! no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Not again. Not now, this wasn’t about to happen. She had just gotten over her last affair, finally, after many months apart, she had at last entered that nice place where she no longer had him on her mind every moment of every damn day – and there was no way in Dahla’s wisdom that she was about to let some new eccentric and handsome madman derail her sanity like some wobbly mining cart.

Okay, she may have been overreacting, just a bit, she thought. After all, he did only turn up her door, said hello, requested they do some business. But he was an eccentric. An eccentric madman! Surely he was! But why did he have to be so handsome? And nice, nice too? Oh, my lord, and that smile, that smile melted here heart a little more each time it flashed through her mind – why do all the maniacs have to be so attractive? Why? Just why?

She paced the shop, the first aisle, then the second, then the first, then the second and so on and so forth, every detail of her brief encounter with Jack racing on a loop through her mind.

‘And what sort name is that - Jack??” she yelled, then suddenly stopped in her tracks and covered her mouth when she realised that - if he hadn’t yet left the front landing - he would have heard her. She paused to steady her breathing then peeked around the corner of a shop display to see if he was still at the door. The daylight spilling in under the crack of the door was broken at the center from his shadow. He was still there…. ‘He heard me….’ She whined. ‘Why won’t you leave? Leave. Please just go’

‘Please stay,’ a little voice in her head replied.

She almost choked on her own breath, horrified. ‘Don’t you dare get involved with this!’

A Goat Named Jed

2

The man was obviously some variety of eccentric madman, and likely a wealthy one too. He didn’t wear the usual long, heavily dyed cloaks of the wealthy, but his trousers were made of an exotic material Amber had never seen before, his torso coat was made of leather so very refined, and he was clean, cleaner than any man she had ever seen with not even trace of body odour. Atop all that, he was wearing some unknown and therefore likely expensive form of man’s perfume. She had met eccentric madmen before, and not once did the meeting turn out well.

He greeted her with ‘hello’ but she didn’t reply. She stood glaring, looking him up and down, assessing his daggers, sniffing the air a few times more to see if she could recall smelling that scent before. She couldn’t.

The man too started behaving a little awkwardly, shifting his weight to one leg and folding his arms, he even had a long gander at the exposed crease of her cleavage before thinking it was his obligation to try and remedy the situation with a thick, madman smile.

‘I’m Jack,’ he added, ‘just passing through town on a job. I need something crafted out of leather, maybe some new clothes as well… and I hear you might be the one to talk to about that?’

She slammed the door in his face.