HokumPocus

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Gradually, Walker's spine began to slouch forwards due to force of habit, tinging his body movements a malicious shade. The cowboy's fingers began to spasm again at being scolded from the warrior woman. Shit, that was so cool. How am I gonna found Texas: the squeakquel up against guys like this? Will's mental list of town names had expanded again. The overstimulation of the environment and things had caused the inspiration molecules in his brain to fire up. Texas: the squeakquel was No. 37, followed by Elevennesse and placed before Texas but with bubonic plague.

"Ah yes, introductions. You must pardon me for my rudeness earlier ma'am. My name is Walker McDonald's and I'm capable of long distance damage. A pair of muddy brown eyes darted to the left as more inspiration struck his brain. Shit, do cowboys give out their names like that? Whatever, whatever I got this. I'll just follow it up with a nickname and it'll be Gucci.

"I've come to these rootin' tootin' lands with the sole purpose of recreating the southern experience. Some call me Walker, Texas ranger."

---

The bleak, crushing weight of that joke had the power punch and potential to make the entirety of humanity enter a neverending catatonic state. God himself heard the joke, sighed, and wearily eyed a button labeled "rocks fall, everybody dies" before hesitating and letting Will live out his pathetic, miserable life.

Tutoriai as it was called revealed itself to not be a player but a guide NPC. Walker expressed dissapointment in his face, but later perked up at the idea of receiving help. Being around such strange characters had put him on edge, and the powergamer in him needed to know everything that the Dreamscape wiki and subreddits couldn't give. "Do we need to eat and drink here? If I die here will you guys straight up murder me in real life? Where's civilization? And most importantly," Walker spoke the last question with tears softly lining his eyes, "Are there cowboy hats in the game?"

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Walker's eyes clicked back into place like a fancy camera. A strange orb with a hyperactive attitude whizzed around him, making Will a bit more defensive. He teetered a bit, never being sure where it would zip off to. He tried to regain composure, right before confidently plucking a blade of grass and placing it in his mouth.

"Dire panthers? Don't worry about that partner, I'll-

Wait what the fuck? Was that a floating sphere??

"So cowboys aren't a thing in this stupid world but fushigi are a playable race?" Walker's hands twitched madly and his teeth ground against eachother, breaking character for a moment. "Er, I mean, don't worry partner, I'm a rootin' tootin' cowboy, and not even the slickest of bad folk escape my quickdraw." Walker grabbed his slingshot incorrectly and stuck it out in macho defiance, surpressing his psychotic behavior.

Walker's eyes focused for a bit before coming to the conclusion that since that spray painted tennis ball hovered, something else must have been making noise. Sure enough, a raven haired player approached and spoke to him in the way that a teacher speaks to a child who's been eating glue in the corner. He tipped an imaginary cowboy hat in recognition.

"Howdy ma'am. I am also of this..... jungle." He attempted to maintain a steady tone of voice, but faltered a bit as he continued. "S-so ma'am, in your character creation screen, did you receive the option to uh-, be that?" He glared venomously at the sprightly metal orb.

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

I now realize my post is a bit too long but eh, I don't think it drags on for too much

EDIT: But I definitely will try not to make that happen again, apologies teehee

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

-oh wait, I'm not falling."

Walker McDonald's looked around the jungle while panting. Although the player tried to recall what had happened between being here and decomposing in an office, it was as pointless as trying to remember the "asleep" period between night and morning. Walker's body was decorated in clean, powerful muscles, but the way he stood up immediately broke the illusion. From the incessant whining to the wimpy stretching it was obvious that this human had the mind of someone who couldn't do half a sit-up and slouched like a gargoyle.

I don't remember Walker being this short. Well, whatever, that's not important right now. All I have to do is find a ton of people and be the greatest sheriff this side of, uh...

Will had spent countless hours absorbing information and trivia about Dreamscape Online even before he had been accepted. He could remember the names of the dev team behind the dirt rendering, but came up blank in the geography department. It was as if his digital rebirth had shaken out those bits of information along with clothing. Walker's white tank top and undergarments felt as appropriate in a fantasy setting as a glock taped to a fidget spinner, but it was totally normal for MMOs to pull that stunt, so Will didn't mind.

Walker's face model began to contort into a disgustingly smug grin. It was as close as a Dreamscape player model could get to being a Garry's Mod abomination. The sharp and sudden memories of his master plan of being the best cowboy there ever was, and becoming the leader of a grand city sprung up at him. Of course, there were a few setbacks. His current armor was a set of barf green pants and his weapon, a slingshot.

I didn't even start with a cowboy hat! What kind of cowboy doesn't have a cowboy hat!! Geez! That's like a clown without facepaint! Or-or a pop song without bad words!! I hate this stupid game!

Of course, a quick flash of his southern utopia calmed the frantic man down. In the end, a few days prior to today, he had settled on two possible names for his dream city. It was a tough choice between "Texas, but not racist" and "Texas II: the sequel to Texas".

While these thoughts popped like whack-a-moles Will began to recite southern slang to harmonize with his avatar.

"Uh, Ehm. Y'all? Yain't! was y'alld've one too? Yeah, it TOTALLY was. Man, I'm so good at this."

Walker equipped his beginner gear and felt more southern than a homophobic grade-schooler scarfing down fried butter. Truly, this game was amazing. Quickly, rustling noises interrupted his freeze-frame victory pose. The bargain bin cowboy cleared his throat to speak.

"Who's there! Y'alld've better show y'alls faces 'round this....

uh....

ehm......". Shit, what was the name of this place again?? Think fast think fast think fas-

"JUNGLE, and yain't gon' get a hankerin' for uh....."

Will in the real world would often enter brief periods where his bloodshot eyes would stare at nothing in particular while drooling excessively, usually when concocting stupid ideas. Walker's face began to do the same.

Blue Fog - A Survival and Society Building Game

The plague doctor unintentionally mimicked a bird as he divebombed the chaotic jumble of scrolls. Beings from more contemporary worlds would have classified these movements as "trash bag flailing in the wind". Sieve began to sift through the information with the intent of preserving his facade of being human.

Of course, like any good steampunk lad, he had the literacy level of a goat. The kingdom's war generals only taught necroorganic soldiers their own names, the names of royalty and cheeky stick figures. As such, Sieve couldn't write half a sentence but could skillfully churn out even the most atrocious, pompous names created by more-is-more nobility. While the rest of the party exchanged banter on terraforming and who could despise cooperation the most, Sieve frantically unfurled scroll after scroll, basing himself off of the pretty pictures contained within.

Curses! This is some type of soldier! What sort of musket is that, I reckon.

I've not a foxes' tail, so this can't be me.

I've a beak but no wings. Or claws. Or tail. Come to think of it I'm nothing at all like this.

Sieve unfurled a very large scroll that would have honestly probably killed him if he knew how to read.

The indecent exposure machine man!

At last, the reanimated set of bones opened up the smallest scroll. It had to have been his, considering the austere nature of his physical characteristics. If this were to depict my three sizes, I-I'd be very angry! With one hand subconsciously pressed against his flat chest, Sieve readied himself for whatever was inside. A familiar image of a humanoid in a plague doctor uniform. After being relieved of his worries while conveniently ignoring all the text describing his bones, the magician quickly scampered away from the others, now brainstorming on what to do with the paper.

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Alright, I've updated my character sheet with the passive ability, ohohoho

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Will Nguyen

EDIT: forgot to capitalize the D in his name, whoops.

Character Age- 24

Out of game description - Will can be quickly summarized as the black and white "you're doing it wrong" part of an infomercial. No other human being has come close to him in terms of screw-ups, mistakes, errors and buffoonery. As anyone who's met him knows, he has the luck of a black cat underneath a ladder. Will isn't the type to do take it slow and can be obsessive, delusional, and hard to deal with at times. Anyone caught in the middle of his stupid ideas will think he's friendly, but will often opt to create as much distance between them as possible.

He has a tendency to hyperventilate whenever something catches his interest and frequently develops a nice set of bloodshot eyes when he finds something new to fawn over. The bags under his eyes are gucci.

Character History - After all one hundred and seventy-three of his career ideas were rejected by his middle school counselor, a young and plucky Will Nguyen was told to be as realistic as he could when planning his future. A couple of hours later, after slouching around in an old bean bag chair in his room, he had an epiphany. If he couldn't be all the crazy things he wanted to be, why not choose the most boring job imaginable! He'd work and afterwards would indulge in all the same things he enjoyed now! After mulling over which career seemed the most boring he finally settled on becoming an accountant.

Years later, at the age of 24, Will has fallen into the sarlacc pit of online gaming. After receiving an invitation to participate in Dreamscape Online he nearly passed out. After making sure he wasn't dreaming and adjusting the "You can do it" kitten poster on his desk, the office drone wasted no time in signing up.

In game information

In game username - Walker McDonald's

Character Race - Human

Primary Class- Archer
Secondary Class - N/A
Cross Class - N/A

Character Appearance -

Walker McDonald's

*Brown hair, brown eyes
*5'5"
*160 lbs
*Walker's clothes and appearance are exactly the same as the ones in the character picture, with the exception of the metal shoulder accessory.

Gear and Stats

Weapon type - A light, medium-sized bow. The knife he has does nothing in combat situations and is for everyday tasks.
Armor - Light armor. The aforementioned shoulder accessory.
Other misc gear - An obnoxious cowboy hat like in the picture.

Strength - 1/5 (How physically strong are you)
Intelligence - 1/5 (How gifted are you with magic)
Dexterity - 5/5 (How good are you with ranged weapons, and with your hands)
Speed - 4/5 (How fast are you, this also affects your stealth)
Toughness - 3/5 (How fragile are you? 1 a piece of paper, 5 a oak tree. This effects your HP)
Luck - 3/5 (How lucky are you? Affects crits and item drops as well as your odds in item events)

Passive ability: Fortune Seeker- Passively can see highlighted objects in areas when the object exceeds a certain value, all items sold to vendors give twice as much gold, silver, and copper. The player also has better chances to encounter chance events that generate randomly by 50%

Misc

Will wanted to make a cowboy character despite knowing nothing about cowboys and the game not supporting them, hence the ridiculous first and last name.

Walker is a pretty muscular avatar, but it's only cosmetic and he can't actually do much.

Will is extremely unlucky in real life, but his avatar is decently lucky, which will probably be a running gag.

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Alright, I decided to make his username his avatar's name, since juggling three different names would be sort of clunky I think. Is my character approved and ready to be moved to the Character section?

EDIT: why the fuck did I put All right instead of alright what is wrong with me :(

Dreamscape Online (An MMO Comedy Rp Always accepting applicants!)

Will Nguyen

Character Age- 24

Out of game description - Will can be quickly summarized as the black and white "you're doing it wrong" part of an infomercial. No other human being has come close to him in terms of screw-ups, mistakes, errors and buffoonery. As anyone who's met him knows, he has the luck of a black cat underneath a ladder. Will isn't the type to do take it slow and can be obsessive, delusional, and hard to deal with at times. Anyone caught in the middle of his stupid ideas will think he's friendly, but will often opt to create as much distance between them as possible.

He has a tendency to hyperventilate whenever something catches his interest and frequently develops a nice set of bloodshot eyes when he finds something new to fawn over. The bags under his eyes are gucci.

Character History - After all one hundred and seventy-three of his career ideas were rejected by his middle school counselor, a young and plucky Will Nguyen was told to be as realistic as he could when planning his future. A couple of hours later, after slouching around in an old bean bag chair in his room, he had an epiphany. If he couldn't be all the crazy things he wanted to be, why not choose the most boring job imaginable! He'd work and afterwards would indulge in all the same things he enjoyed now! After mulling over which career seemed the most boring he finally settled on becoming an accountant.

Years later, at the age of 24, Will has fallen into the sarlacc pit of online gaming. After receiving an invitation to participate in Dreamscape Online he nearly passed out. After making sure he wasn't dreaming and adjusting the "You can do it" kitten poster on his desk, the office drone wasted no time in signing up.

In game information

In game username - Walker Mcdonald's

Character Race - Human

Primary Class- Archer
Secondary Class - N/A
Cross Class - N/A

Character Appearance -

Walker McDonald's

*Brown hair, brown eyes
*5'5"
*160 lbs
*Walker's clothes and appearance are exactly the same as the ones in the character picture, with the exception of the metal shoulder accessory.

Gear and Stats

Weapon type - A light, medium-sized bow. The knife he has does nothing in combat situations and is for everyday tasks.
Armor - Light armor. The aforementioned shoulder accessory.
Other misc gear - An obnoxious cowboy hat like in the picture.

Strength - 1/5 (How physically strong are you)
Intelligence - 1/5 (How gifted are you with magic)
Dexterity - 5/5 (How good are you with ranged weapons, and with your hands)
Speed - 4/5 (How fast are you, this also affects your stealth)
Toughness - 3/5 (How fragile are you? 1 a piece of paper, 5 a oak tree. This effects your HP)
Luck - 3/5 (How lucky are you? Affects crits and item drops as well as your odds in item events)

Passive ability: Fortune Seeker- Passively can see highlighted objects in areas when the object exceeds a certain value, all items sold to vendors give twice as much gold, silver, and copper. The player also has better chances to encounter chance events that generate randomly by 50%

Misc

Will wanted to make a cowboy character despite knowing nothing about cowboys and the game not supporting them, hence the ridiculous first and last name.

Walker is a pretty muscular avatar, but it's only cosmetic and he can't actually do much.

Will is extremely unlucky in real life, but his avatar is decently lucky, which will probably be a running gag.

An Adventurer's Calling | [Full!]

Jessica stopped the pose she was in and snapped into a more dynamic one now that she had another teammate. A quick look at Haruka made her eyes nearly pop out of her skull. After bunching up her fists and hyperventilating at her new ally she began to screech. "Dude!! Your name is Black Moon?? That's SO sick!! And you're like, a ninja with cleavage and everything!!"

The teenager she approached earlier turned to Haruka, momentarily ignoring Jessica, who was vibrating so energetically that the sugar crumbs at her feet began to leap and hop about. Mark, as he called himself, swiveled his head and spoke succinctly at Jessica. "As long as I'm not dead, you're not dead."

At the end of his statement Parker had a long and vivid series of flashbacks of all the time's she's almost killed herself via parkour and substance consumption. The fighter put her arm over Haruka's shoulder. "No promises!"

The brawler breathed out smugly and narrowed her green eyes at Mark's request for the hardest thing they had. What're they gonna do, add another leaf to your leaf water? Still, she thought, If they don't have a Home Depot around here, how the heck am I gonna have fun?

She straightened up dramatically and began to speak after a thumping her chest a few times. "Look dudes, I'm pretty sure we can win this Starbucks turf war. I mean, look at all the weenies around us! Black Moon has a cool name, you have a big sword, I'm super awesome at parkour. There's like, no way we can actually lose." Jessica gave another outrageously large smile and comboed it with a wink.

@Joker892 @GarlandDaHero