Avatar of Juicy
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    1. Juicy 8 yrs ago

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7 yrs ago
Current Cool to be part of history I guess lol
7 yrs ago
I luv my wife Resshiraaaam
7 yrs ago
Happy festivities! Enjoy time with your family!
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Whipped something up, very much a work-in-prog. Was looking for more info on the world, particularly on how the different subspecies live. Are they segregated by region? Would it be uncommon for a member of a subspecies to live in a region they weren't originally engineered for? Would it be outright forbidden? And some more general world-building info that would help me build my sign-up: What, alongside the Kingdom of Dragan, are the main governing bodies of the Faraway Land? Are there other defining aspects of the three subspecies that can't be inferred from other fantasy series? Are there only the orcs, elves, and dwarves as existing humanoid subspecies?

Since I'm looking to build a mage character, too, do you have any preexisting expectations or, like, concepts for how magic might exist in the Faraway Land, or is it entirely free-form? I'm thinking Édain might draw spells from nature, maybe dabble with the four elements as they're commonly known (might also subvert a little in that category, like bring back wood, lol), with some "dark magic" influence. Maybe even summoning?

On my end regarding world-building, through my char's background, I want to establish being an "adventurer" as this sort of rogue occupation that appeals to idealists, as well as there being a collection of nomadic "witches" outcast from society based on the types of sorcery they practice; alongside being stigmatized within most societies, the magic itself could have a mental toll, leading to obsessiveness that later incites near-total isolation and monomaniacal study.

And if there are some discrepancies with my WIP so far, definitely hmu, especially regarding any unintentional tonal or setting dissonance. (For the later, I'm assuming this is high fantasy with medieval-era technology. If you intended for there to be other cultural influences in terms of names, dress, language, social standards, etc., let me know!)
Sure, why not?
Although I didn't make any promises, I should disassociate myself from this anyway, since I'm not going to follow-through with my app after all; high school settings are really that demotivating to me. Best wishes.
As a notice: I'm always appreciative of criticism. The issue for me was lack of focus regarding the argument made against Reusaable's character's power (as whether it was "cliche" was entirely unrelated to the nature of the power being inappropriate, etc).

Yo, but whenever I post next, there should actually be a character involved... that's two characters, actually. Cheerleaders. Brownie and Blondie. Action girls. Best friends. Gotta love 'em?
It seems the question is whether the power is acceptable or not, and in that case, the GM should answer; frankly, there's not much discussion to be had if Ogo refutes the ability.

Regardless, I'll let my two cents sit. I will say, bringing "cliches" into this without apt comparison was unwarranted. Whether it's "silly" is subjective and ultimately unrelated to whether the power makes other players uncomfortable. We shouldn't use what's intended to be a "discussion" into bearing down on another player. That sort of attitude makes me uncomfortable.
Well, is it the character's intention to "out" other superhumans? If he does, that would create a source of conflict, wouldn't it? The idea of powers needing to be "secret" only harbors suponse when there's a chance of exposure.

It should also be recognized that players are already in the know of who's super and who isn't, so there's no real surprise factor if someone's character is "discovered."

I, for one, (as someone looking to apply) am entirely comfortable with another character being able to "sense" the presence of superpowers.
@SmileyJaws Should also voice my interest, though, to be sure, are our characters expected to know one another beforehand? Or is the intent for them to meet in Aurora's End?
Ohhh, alright.

I'm gonna appreciate style in a roleplay when I see it. There's an eccentricity to something named Chicken Leg from the get-go that I love. And everything about Chicken Leg is simple and accessible. Honestly, could I describe it as generic? there's inevitable negative connotation with that, but I wouldn't say Chicken Leg being generic disservices it in any way as a roleplay. The setting is openly science fiction-y, nuclear fallout-y; the premise is go from Point A to Point B; the selling point is fighting robots and zombies with the weirdest shit imaginable. It totally works, and it seems like it'll be a lot of fun.

If you plan to adapt what you've presented here into, like, solo work, I'd say you'd have to be a tad more ambitious in regards to the idea itself. In reference to what you said above, what sells flawlessly for a roleplay I don't think would sell well for a novel, just based on how open this really is; I can become immediately invested in Chicken Leg because of the vague aspects and aesthetics it borrows from various genres. The pictures you used are a great example, as they set an immediate expectation, that of the last gruff, urban, sci-fi landscape I experienced that I can play off of for an impromptu roleplay post. The robots and zombies that serve as the main antagonistic force as well aren't applied an identity of their own, so I'm pulling from my memory and various tropes to fill that gap. For Chicken Leg to shine as an original idea, you would need to feed me those images rather than rely on what I already know.

To sort of summarize: CL's more of a prompt than the skeleton for a proper story; this works flawlessly for a roleplay, not necessarily for a novel. If you engaged in more development of the idea, isolating "solo" CL from "RP" CL, this concern would be eliminated, I believe. And if you wanted, you could apply some of that development to the roleplay too, if you wanted to elevate it a little. Though, as it stands, I can certainly appreciate it.

Going back to your concept as just a roleplay: I am of the opinion that the premise could be communicated much more concisely through DJ Wildfire alone. I think embracing his role as Mr. Exposition would be for the best rather than introduce other characters to support his role; coalesce everything you want players to know about the background, thread it through Cauliflower. ...Wildfire. DJ Wildfire. Gotta say the whole thing.

Doing that too, I think, will reduce clunkiness in the dialogue (if I may be so bold). For example: referencing 'Thirteen Reasons Why'... in 2056? Would it age that well?

And a last real qualm of mine is with the sign-up sheet, because that fucker is long, dude, and unnecessarily so. With an app already having been posted, this might be easy to dismiss, but I want to assert all the same that the roleplay overall is far too fluid to expect this extensive of character bios. A "Backstory" section may seem innocuous, but in order to fill it, there has to be context; the only context: bad shit went down. The first character evinces this, but the sign-up in its current form is inviting characters with a grunge-y solemnity to them, at least regarding their brOOdiNG paaSTs. This RP is too tongue-in-cheek for an excess of those, at least how I've come to see it!

The sign-up should be as accessible and lighthearted as the roleplay itself I think, to invite the quirkiest cast of protagonists imaginable, the less defined conventionally, the better; drop terminology like "Species" and "Combatics" that invite players to deconstruct their characters logically and make things more general. As I see it, this roleplay as it stands would benefit the most by treating its characters like those of a cartoon show, where aspects can be digested without having to be justified, since this roleplay, like a cartoon, is so airy as to allow endless possibilities to exist canonically. I would also definitely drop the entire "Story Behind the Man" section with what you have now so players have their minds rooted in the present. Elements of the past could be developed through the story itself.

But otherwise, this is simple and stylish. I like it! Hope my critique actually reads with some decency, it's really just a string of commentary I tried to flesh out as best I could.
Makes things a tad harder all-in-all, aha. Of course, I'll still prepare a sign-up of my own
So new emphasis on a fatal flaw? Interesting!

(I'm actually intrigued on what the oompa-loompas'll be like this time around, now that you mentioned it, haha)
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