I'll begin by giving feedback for the ones that stood out to me the most and have the one I voted as my favorite in the hider below.
Thank you to all who submitted. I loved reading through your work! Congratulations to the winner!
I was happy that you went for a story route and I liked how the line "Only butterflies and moths" stood by itself. When you went on to explain how he rid of all the creatures currently in his backyard, that particular sentence was emphasized and it reminded me of Smeagol and his ring. The fact that he didn't spare even the eggs or opt to relocate them really tied into the fact that this guy was odd and kinda creepy like the introduction had alluded to. For a second, I thought he was sweet when you included the part about him not being able to keep actual butterflies in his display cases, but trying to decipher your piece more, I realized it might be because he tries to eat them then spits them back out. Thank you for mentioning the rice paper confetti, it restored my faith in humanity a bit. I was really taken aback by the ending and it made me reread the whole thing over. I facepalmed the second time around as I noticed all the clues you cleverly inserted throughout the whole thing leading up to the finale. Like @Spoopy Scary mentioned, I also thought about the insertion of a smile at the end to tie back to the previous line about smiling. It would've been such an eerie ending, but totally would've blown me out of the water. Amazing job overall. I enjoyed this read.
@Dream Maker
This one made me smile because it's relatable. I often watch butterflies, sometimes follow them around and similar thoughts enter my mind. Human life if so complex with so many things to worry about. It must be nice to be a pretty butterfly just flying around from flower to flower without a care in the world.
This one made me smile because it's relatable. I often watch butterflies, sometimes follow them around and similar thoughts enter my mind. Human life if so complex with so many things to worry about. It must be nice to be a pretty butterfly just flying around from flower to flower without a care in the world.
I was laughing out loud and kept repeatedly saying "This is so funny." The imagery was vivid with this one and I really wish someone with animation skills could read it and make visuals along with a voice over of the actual poem. I'd watch it and I'm sure many others would. I completely lost it at the line "You're not my dad!"
I enjoyed the ending because although he melted, he joined other dairy products in outer space and ultimately fulfilled his dreams. Not gonna lie I have the same dreams as this butter in a can. One day I'll be among the stars once again.
I enjoyed the ending because although he melted, he joined other dairy products in outer space and ultimately fulfilled his dreams. Not gonna lie I have the same dreams as this butter in a can. One day I'll be among the stars once again.
Yes. Get woke. I liked this piece a lot because I dig philosophical stuff. I adored the story and how developed it was despite only being four paragraphs. I felt his misery. I felt for his marriage. I felt for his daughter. I felt for his troubled thoughts and questioning of the past as to how he got to his current state. Very relatable D: The third paragraph screamed "butterfly effect" and I was loving where it was headed. The words you chose described how interconnected this world really is and I adored the line "divine or demonic realm" because it points to duality. The final paragraph shifted the mood of your piece from deeply turbulent to hopeful. The power of now. Amen lol. That's all we truly have control over and the lens through which we see things determines what is positive and negative in our eyes. The realization and acceptance of something that sits right under our noses at every literal waking moment is quite freeing. Very impressed and humbled by this one.
Butter Flies
The Lepidopterist
(Sensitivity to Initial Conditions was so, so close)
(Sensitivity to Initial Conditions was so, so close)
Thank you to all who submitted. I loved reading through your work! Congratulations to the winner!