>FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA
>AVA RESIDENCE
>0200
>16DEC2019
Ava stared up at the dark ceiling above her bed, the only light of the room coming from the soft blue glow of her digital clock; obnoxiously informing her of the time. Things were still and silent in the room, the only sounds breaking up this monotony were the gentle snores coming from Dave and the soft purrs emitting from Thor as he made his bed next to Dave’s head on his pillow.
Dave’s arms were wrapped protectively around her, warm and comforting, his hand resting over her stomach. Normally she would have no issue falling and staying asleep with Dave beside her. And though she tried and she thought she must have drifted off at some point, she remained stubbornly awake.
She took in a breath, feeling a sense of restlessness starting to stir in her the more she stared at the ceiling and tried to will herself to fall back asleep. She shifted in the warm confines of the bed, trying to gently extract herself from Dave’s arms without waking him up.
Dave woke almost immediately, his hand reaching for the pistol by the bed. His brain was quick to catch up; it seemed these days that he was never really asleep. He could go from sleep to action in a heartbeat, and after a quick glance around the room he released the grip of the pistol and sat up.
“You alright, sugar?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Hey, sorry Dave,” Ava said sheepishly, sitting up herself. “I…can’t sleep. So, I was going to go make some tea and probably watch a little TV.” She grimaced. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Dave yawned and waved her comment away, giving Thor a scratch on the head. “I’ll give ya some company. Don’t mind gettin’ up, we can sleep in if we wanna.”
“That’s true,” She smiled at him in the dark. “It’s not like we have anywhere we need to go.”
“Exactly,” he said. He leaned over and gave her a kiss, reaching down and placing his hand against her stomach. He held it there a moment, then gave her another kiss. “Alright. C’mon, lemme find some pants.”
Ava smiled to herself, moving the bed sheets aside so she could get out of bed proper. “I hope I adjust to this new medication soon, I like sleeping and I’m already not a morning person.”
“You will,” Dave assured her. Unlike Ava, he was a morning person, and he was already waking up. “I’m gonna make coffee. What kinda tea did ya want? Can I get you a snack or somethin’?”
“Let’s start with the tea,” She chuckled, picking up her glasses from the nightstand. “A lavender latte sounds nice.” She thought for a moment before saying, “Since we’re just going to be up, I think I’ll get my Switch and play something.”
Dave nodded and, after locating his sweatpants, made his way to the kitchen. He began the process of making Ava’s lavender latte, while also starting a cup of coffee for himself. As an after thought, he tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave. She didn’t want a snack now, but he figured she’d eat some as soon as he put on a movie.
Ava gave Thor a few pets before leaving the bedroom after Dave and heading into her office, flicking on the light and making her blink and squint at the sudden brightness. She stared down at the mess that was her desk, a cluttered pile of miscellaneous papers, folders and booklets. The disorganized evidence of her and Dave trying to put a life together for themselves.
She sat in her desk chair and started shifting papers around, sure that her Switch was buried somewhere in the piles of financial records and real estate print outs.
After a few minutes searching, she moved aside some books she had recently bought on homesteading and on the Arkansas Ozarks and paused. Staring back at her was a familiar, thick manilla folder. One that caused an instant spike in anxiety as it brought forth a flood of painful memories.
Not just of the mission, the caves, Foster escaping out into the world, but of a painful argument and leaving a close friend behind. They hadn’t looked through the folder much when they got it, everything that had happened had been too fresh, too painful.
At the time, it was evidence that they were done with the Program. That was all they cared about.
Looking at the folder, Ava still felt the pain of that evening as if it was yesterday; when they left and didn’t look back at Donnelley. It had been weeks, they hadn’t heard from him. She had decided to keep in touch with Laine, the woman having grown to be something of an older sister figure for her. She didn’t want to let that go. And she could get updates on Queen, on Billy, how he was doing.
She hoped he would get better and she’d get to visit him.
Tears started to well up in her eyes and she rubbed them away on her sleeve before she sighed and opened the folder to begin to flip through it. She might as well make sure that they were given everything.
Dave bustled about in the kitchen, starting the Keurig, putting on the kettle, and starting the milk heating to make it a latte. He hummed to himself, occasionally singing a few snatches of lyrics from an old Hank Jr. song as he tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave.
The truth was he hadn’t been sleeping well, either. There were nights he’d lay in bed for hours, running over that final fight in his mind, wondering if things could have ended differently somehow. If he’d taken a shot sooner, thrown a grenade, something to stop the sorry bastards from getting away and making it feel like nothing had really been accomplished. It bled over into daily life; a few days ago he’d been out with Ava and had heard someone speaking a language that sounded close enough to Russian to make him want to go for his gun, just in case they were about to start a shootout in the middle of town.
When the water was ready he poured in into Ava’s frog mug, assembling the latte with deft experience. He put the popcorn in a bowl, which he left in the microwave to keep warm, and then took the tea latte and his coffee into the office, setting the mug in front of Ava.
“Here ya go.”
Ava looked up at Dave, a small reflexive smile on her face before she looked down at the mug he chose and chuckled. “Thank you Dave,” She said, taking off the mushroom hat top of the mug and setting it aside so the tea inside could cool a little. She waved her hand over the folder opened in front of her. “I got distracted, I just wanted to check that they really did give us everything.”
“You’re welcome, sugar.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, then leaned against the wall behind her desk, sipping his coffee. “I kinda paged through mine a little, but I wouldn’t know if they missed somethin’ or not. They went deep with them arrest records, I tell you that. Got the one from when I was 15 for gettin’ drunk with my buddies and crashin’ a four-wheeler through the neighbor’s fence. That got expunged when I turned 18.”
Ava was about to take a sip of her tea when she paused and slowly turned in her chair to look at him.
Dave grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “Woody’s uncle made a batch of ‘shine, so we made off with a jug of it…”
“To infinity and beyond, apparently.” She huffed with a gentle, amused shake of her head, took a sip from her mug and turned back to the folder. She flipped a page and an envelope slipped out, with a note in familiar handwriting she had not seen in some months. “Huh,” She set down her mug and picked up the envelope. “This is my old supervisor’s writing.” She said to Dave. Though Agent Stark had left it unsigned, she knew it was his. “Says I should look at the DNA samples enclosed.”
“DNA samples?” Dave frowned. “I didn’t have DNA stuff in mine.”
She grimaced as she opened the envelope. “I think it’s probably from when I…” She trailed off and shuddered. “Alaska.” She shook her head. “I think it’s standard procedure to take DNA during…well…” She trailed off, not wanting to invoke the images that came to mind with the word ‘autopsy’.
He reached down and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze before gently moving to rub the back of her neck.
She reached up to touch his arm, giving him a grateful smile. She turned back to the envelope and after taking a deep breath, opened it and pulled out the documents. What was in the papers wasn’t immediately apparent to her, it took some minutes of silent reading and flipping through charts before her eyes grew wide. “No.” She whispered quietly. “I’m…I must be reading this report wrong.”
“I hope not, cuz Lord knows I can’t read it,” Dave murmured. He leaned down closer. “What’s up, sugar?”
“It-it, um,” She shook her head and flipped through a few of the papers again, reading the paragraphs of information to make sure she was understanding it. “It says that, preliminary DNA tests showed a possible familial link between two of the bodies. Further testing confirmed with near certainty that there is a paternal link between ‘Subject 1A’ and ‘Subject 3A’. I’m subject 1A.”
“...Well shit,” Dave said, staring wide-eyed at the papers. He ran a few brief numbers in his head. Queen was only his age. “So that means 3A is…”
“Yeah,” She leaned back in her chair, looking up at Dave with wide eyes. “Donnelley…Is my father.”
He held her gaze, judging her mood. Experience told him she was teetering on the edge of panic and tears. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Sorry I punched your dad, that one time,” he said.
Ava let out a startled laugh, the mounting anxiety building inside of her released with that one sentence. She gently slapped at his arm with the papers. “This is serious Dave!” She said, despite the smile that remained on her face. “Like, this is HUGE!”
He knelt down beside her chair, slipping his arm around her.
“It is huge,” he said. “But…It also ain’t bad. So it’s somethin’ to think about, but not somethin’ to worry about.”
She leaned into the embrace, resting her head gently against his. “That’s true.” She agreed. “It’s just…so wild. I’ve wanted to know where I came from for so long and it turns out I’ve been working with one half of that mystery.” She frowned and looked down at the papers, shuffling them back into order so she could put them back in the envelope. “We didn’t…leave on the best terms with him.”
Dave felt a very brief twinge of anger at the treatment they’d received from Donnelley the last time they’d seen him. “No…No we didn’t,” he said. He shifted his weight so he was able to get both arms around her, laying his head against her chest. After a few moments of silently listening to her breathing and heartbeat he gave her a squeeze. “You wanna…See if we can fix that?”
“...Yeah.” She said quietly. “Would you be okay with that?”
“I’d never take that from you,” he said gently. “You lemme know when, and we’ll do it.”
Ava nodded slowly and leaned her head back against her chair. “Thank you Dave.” She placed her hand on his bare back and glanced over at her desk. “I think…Once we’ve settled everything we try to reach out to him.” Her lips quirked up into a mirthful smirk. “I’d like to see his face when he realizes he’s also going to be a grandpa.”
Dave grinned up at her. “Man, he’s gonna be gettin’ hit with a lot at once.” He leaned down and kissed her gently on her flat stomach. She wasn’t showing yet, but it wouldn’t be long. “Kinda wanna see his face.”
“Well, I guess that can be our pay back for how he left things off.” She chuckled. She grew quiet for a moment and added, “I hope he’ll be alright.”
...///
>SOMEWHERE IN ARKANSAS
>11FEB2020…///
The mountain roads were slick, but the off-road tires of the Ford Bronco held true as he sped through the snow. Speed was honestly relative in situations like these, but the nice thirty miles per hour was a pace he could keep up the mountain. Fuckin’ leave it to Dave to pick a spot nobody else but him can fuckin’ get to, he thought as he went around another turn, managing to keep from sliding right off and dying right where he started at the bottom.
That would be that for the reunion. He still didn’t know if he’d prefer that to looking Dave and Ava in the face, knowing he’d been the villain of their story last time they’d been in each other’s company. The weekly therapy sessions were getting just a bit too pressing on him, and he’d rescheduled the last few last minute to avoid Cherie’s subtle prying. Something she probably knew. This outing would be much needed, though he wasn’t looking forward to seeing them again. If an apology was what they were looking for, he could’ve given that to them over the phone. Written a letter and sealed it with all the sincerity in the world.
Truth be told, he was tired of facing difficult situations of his own making, or that the Program only exacerbated and lit the fuse of to the powder keg that was the worsening condition of UMBRA back when. He was still waiting for that phone call. The one that would bring him back. The one that would take him away from Tilly. He imagined the look on her face when he’d have to tell her he would be gone. Just another thing to be sorry for.
He pulled up to the only driveway at the end of this long road up the mountain to see the conditions of Dave and Ava’s living situation. It was real now, he thought, as he looked at the small hut and the parking structure they’d parked their vehicles in. He took a long breath and sighed it out, wondering if it was too late to just turn around. They could’ve just left him and everything to do with the Program in the past like he told them to. The last thing he wanted to hear was one of them getting hurt because he was here and someone saw. Getting hurt for the crime of knowing him.
But, he opened the door of the Bronco anyway and his square toe boots crunched in the snow as he closed the driver door behind him. Coming around Dave’s way had him dressing different. He felt like a hand on his uncle’s ranch, what with the carhartt jacket, hat, and whole ensemble. His eyes scanned the yard around before he stomped his way through the snow to the front door. He took a breath, and then rapped his knuckles on the front door.
“Just me.” He called out, “Donnelley.”
“I know.” Dave stepped out from behind the woodpile that was stacked next to his truck beneath the carport. It was a large, three-walled structure, open in the front and covered to keep the weather off both the vehicles and the wood supply. Tools hung along the back wall; shovel, pick, axes of various types for various uses.
“We saw ya comin’ a mile and change back. Wasn’t sure if it was you or not.” He held his customary AK loosely in his hands, muzzle down but stock extended, ready for use. His battle belt rode around his hips and while he wore a green and brown knit beanie atop his shaggy hair his green flannel was covered by his plate carrier. About ten feet to his left was Rufus; the big shepherd-mastiff mix walked slowly in an arc away from Dave, eyes locked on Donnelley as he circled him. He was silent, but his hackles here raised.
“Rufus, easy,” Dave said. He walked up to Donnelley and eyed him for a moment, then put out his right hand. He was relaxed but unsmiling; this was clearly a second chance. It also felt like a final one.
Donnelley kept himself from flinching at the sound of Dave’s voice. These weeks away from the Program were making him soft. Or maybe just normal. Either way, if Dave had been someone else…
He turned around to face Dave and was also greeted by a dog the size of which almost offended him. He elected to meet Dave half way in his yard, and a ghost of that old envy and resentment whispered in his ear at the offering of Dave’s hand. No smile from either man though. He could feel the tension in the icy air.
Donnelley looked from Dave to his hand, then back again. He took the hand and shook it firmly, “I’m glad to see you buildin’ a life out here.” He said, returning his hand to his side and scanning the wilderness, “A normal one.”
“Doin’ what we can, for sure,” Dave said, relaxing a little. A bit of that old smile came back as he released Donnelley’s grip and reached for a radio mic on the shoulder of his rig. “It’s clear, sugar. It’s Donnelley.”
He gave the man in question a sheepish look and a small shrug. “Well. Normal as things can be after all that.”
Donnelley watched Dave key in on his mic and nodded in solemn understanding. Even normal for the things they’d been through wasn’t truly so. The war isn’t ever really over. Even for them. Donnelley sighed, “We’re still workin’ on that.” Donnelley said, “Ghost and I found Nikolai.”
He let the implications of that hang on the air for a moment, knowing Dave would understand. Then he spoke again, “We’ll find Foster.” He assured, “You won’t have to keep lookin’ over y’all’s shoulders.”
“It’s the least I could do for you two.” He smiled, though faintly. The work was never done.
Soft scratching and squeaky barking sounded from the other side of the front door before it opened and bounding out came a puppy, a dusty gray and black coat of fuzz on its small body with a bright white spot on the chest. Large ears flopped around as the pup sniffed around briefly on the front stoop before seemingly noticing the new person to begin barking at Donnelley.
“Ripley, hush,” Ava said as she carefully stepped onto the small wooden deck that was their front step, another clearly more shy puppy hovering around her legs; this one a light tan coat more like Rufus’ with similar dark muzzle and ears.
Ava looked down at Donnelley, one hand holding onto the front door for balance and the other resting on top of the small, but unmistakable round bump of her stomach that was clearly visible through the dusky pink sweater dress she was wearing.
She stared down at Donnelley for a long, silent moment, multiple emotions flickering across her face and warring with each other. “Um,” She said, blinking her eyes and snapping herself out of her emotion-fueled paralysis. “Hey.”
Donnelley heard the front door come open and his attention was taken away by the sound of small barks. He eyed the puppies with some measure of affection, a thought coming to mind about floating the idea by Tilly if she’d want one. Maybe even Laine, before remembering their relationship would have to stay hidden so long as they were with the Program.
He buried his feelings about that as he looked up at Ava, only for his attention to be ripped back down to her stomach. He could see why Dave was so protective now, even past his usual amount.
“Hey.” He said, looking back at her face as she greeted him. He didn’t know what else to say, and settled on an easy, “Congratulations.”
Ava cracked a small smile and looked down at her stomach before looking back over at Dave. “Thank you, we’re excited.” Ripley hovered near the steps down to the snow covered ground, still barking and growling at Donnelley and Ava shook her head. “Well, come on in, once you’re inside she should stop barking at you. I’ve got venison stew on the stove and some rosemary garlic bread I made this morning, so I hope you’re hungry.” She flashed a slightly awkward smile before stepping back into the warmly lit interior, the quiet puppy giving a shake and a whine before hopping up the step to follow after her.
Ripley remained, resolute in her defensive posturing. Donnelley gave a small smile to the pup, stepping closer to the porch, “Easy, girl. I’m friendly.”
Once he made it past one of Ava’s fiercest protectors, Donnelley hung about the entryway, his hands in his pockets. It was a quaint little place. Like a studio apartment, the price of which back in Seattle probably went for a lot more than they had it here. He looked around, not a mess of empty bottles like he’d seen before in some other places that belonged to Program agents.
Even so, he still didn’t know whether he should find a seat for himself or wait to be offered one. Neither of them had said it aloud, but the last time they all shared a room it didn’t quite go as friendly as it could have. He cleared his throat, “The food smells amazin’. I know the garlic bread’s gonna be good.” He said, not lying, but not exactly all too open, “I, uh… I missed it. Your bakin’.”
Ava glanced over at him, in the process of giving the pot of steaming stew a few stirs. She smiled, albeit hesitantly. “Thanks, I made brownies for…mostly for me, because I’ve been craving them constantly, but you can have some if you want.”
Dave let the two get reacquainted while he put his things away. His rifle went on a hook on the wall, the vest and belt on a small stand he’d made for that purpose. He left the Sig in the belt holster and in its place hung a leather snap-on holster with a revolver nestled inside.
He glanced at Donnelley. “Black bears,” he said. “We’re new to this bit of woods, and Rufus ain’t run ‘em all off to my likin’ yet. They’re usually pretty shy, but with the puppies around and Ava pregnant, well… Better safe than sorry, right?”
With his old .357 secured at his hip Dave went over and sat down, picking up Moses when he ambled over to be petted. Ripley followed Ava.
“Take a seat,” Dave nodded at small loveseat across from the one in which he was sitting.
And so Donnelley did, taking the chance to finally sit again with gratitude. Before he did so, he brushed his coat aside and pulled a holstered Staccato C2 outfitted with an optic from his waistband and set it on a nearby surface. He looked at Dave and winked, “Figured it was time for an upgrade.” He smirked, “I like the holster. What’s in it?”
“Classy,” Dave grinned. “We’ll hafta shoot it while you’re out here. Got plenty of land.”
He unsnapped his holster and partially lifted the revolver. It was old, but clearly in good shape.
“Old Smith Model 19,” he said before stuffing it back in the holster. “I got rid of the Ruger, after…Well.” He shrugged, the brief memory of shooting down a Russian agent at his favorite hunting site flashing in his mind’s eye. “This one’s a little heftier, but she’s reliable as hell, and the .357 is plenty for bears or the rare cougar.”
“Oh, I’m sure. ‘Course, bangin’ on pots and pans might scare ‘em off, but shoot ‘em in the ass and they’ll never forget it.” Donnelley chuckled, “My uncle still keeps him a wheel-gun loaded with .410 shells for the rattlesnakes. Remember blastin’ at coyotes with his lever gun still, was a pretty good shot.”
Ava glanced over her shoulder at the two of them as they talked, a small smile on her face hearing them talk to each other like old times. She stepped away from the stove with a stainless steel bowl in her hand and set it down in front of Rufus, who after following Dave back inside, had calmly laid himself out in front of the small wood burning stove that helped heat their home.
She gave the big mastiff a ruffling scratch behind the ears before reaching down to scoop up Ripley when the pup tried to bury her face into Rufus’ food. “No, not for you.” She said, stepping out of the small kitchenette area and through a pair of double doors that lead out to a sunroom like attachment. She set Ripley down in a penned off corner of the room before returning to the kitchen to dish out bowls of stew for the three of them. “So, how have you been, Donnelly?” Ava asked over her shoulder. “After…” She trailed off and cleared her throat. “How have you been?”
He looked at Dave, and then looked at Ava. His smirk had faded just a bit and he glanced at the floor and cleared his throat, “After I almost ruined everythin’ with y’all?”
It was a little quiet then, but they couldn’t keep stepping around it, and the kind of person Donnelley was… that he was at least trying to be, didn’t just sweep things under the rug. He looked at Dave, “I said a lot that day.” He nodded, “A lot that I didn’t mean. Foster had gotten away, my best friend had finally broken…”
His eyes looked at the floor, remembering the raid, and the high emotions, and what he’d said, “I did a lot for the paperwork that let y’all go free, and I did it because y’all asked me. This ain’t the time nor the place for me to tell that story, and I probably never will, but…” He placed his hands in his lap, fingers entwined, “I don’t regret it, seein’ y’all live like this. And I’m sorry for what I said, and how it made y’all feel.”
He thought of Tilly, knowing she’d be proud of him for doing this. For being better, or at least trying, “So, thank you for lettin’ me come around and say that. Make amends. And lettin’ me break bread with y’all.”
“I been good, by the way.” He smirked.
Dave nodded, letting Donnelley get things off his chest. He waited until he was done and then smiled a little.
“We forgive you, man,” he said. “Call it square. You’re the first real company we’ve had out here. There’s Dan, but he don’t really count, he comes to work. Old man makes me feel like a hired hand on my own property.”
Ava huffed to herself, a small smile on her face at the mention of the old timer. “I’d call it more supervising, but don’t tell him I said that.” She smiled. “And, yeah, Dave’s right. We both forgive you Donnelley.” She bit her lip and glanced at Dave for a moment, hesitating and seeking his approval before catching herself. Dave was leaving this in her hands. Best to rip the bandaid off now and hope for the best.
She took a deep breath and turned to a small drawer in their counter, one of those short square ones that’s only purpose seemed to be to gather junk and stray bits of mail. This one she opened and there was only one thing inside, a singular envelope with the same handwritten note she had been given all those months ago. “There was…one other reason we invited you out here. On top of making amends.”
Donnelley eyed the envelope with a bit of curiosity and amusement behind his smirk, “What, did you get me a card or somethin’?”
Ava gave a nervous laugh. “Don’t think I didn’t consider getting a card.” She grew a bit more serious as she looked down at the envelope before back up at Donnelley. “It’s DNA testing from Alaska, after we died.” She said, carefully walking up to Donnelley and handing him the envelope. “Well, turns out my DNA matched with someone. A parent.”
She looked him in the eyes as steadfast as she could and said, “Remember that time you told me, someone would have to be a fool to throw a daughter like me away?”
Donnelley’s smirk dropped as he furled his brow in confusion, and then quietly processing the growing realization, looking from Dave who’d seemingly picked up the smirk that he dropped, to Ava. He cocked his head and looked at Ava more closely, “Did the Program… find your biological parents somewhere?”
“Just one,” Ava said quietly. “My father and it turns out he was really close by.” She held up the envelope for him.
Donnelley rose from his seat to take the offered envelope from Ava. He didn’t bother taking back his seat, just unsealing it in front of her and taking it from the envelope. He unfolded the piece of paper and began reading it, his eyes scanning the page. Once he was done, he folded it back up and slid it back into the open envelope. He didn’t meet Ava’s eyes.
“Who’s subject A3?” He muttered. He already knew, but he wanted her to say it.
Ava stared up at him, her heart beating quicker as fear and anxiety that he wouldn’t take it well, spiked in her chest. Tears started to sting at the back of her eyes as she took in a deep breath and reached out to touch his hand.
“You,” she said quietly, her voice straining with the swell of emotions that were not tampered thanks to her hormones. “It’s you.”
Donnelley let out a breath and swallowed, closing his eyes and bowing his head. He had a deep frown and bit his lip as he ran his free hand through his hair, “Fuckin’ Jesus…”
He stayed like that for a moment, still not meeting Ava’s eyes.
Dave reached over and took Ava’s hand, gently setting puppy Moses aside. Finding this out had been a rollercoaster for her; ups, downs, joy, confusion, fear… Fear that Donnelley would deny her, would storm off, would say something hurtful. There’d also been excitement, that maybe he’d embrace her and they could get to know each other on a different level. Either way, Dave was there for her.
He watched Donnelley closely. He was smiling, but the smile was cautious; silently he willed Donnelley to say something kind, even if he was letting her down to do it gently.
Ava gave Dave’s hand a squeeze, the tears continuing to well while the silence stretched on. “Do,” Her voice caught and she cleared her throat, though it didn’t remove the lump in her throat. “Do you not…want me? To be your daughter?”
Donnelley gently put his hands on Ava’s shoulders and drew her into a hug at that, shaking his head. He couldn’t tell what he felt more, guilt or happiness, the two emotions roiling in his chest. “Anyone would be a fool to not want you for a daughter, Ava.” He said, voice reedy as he held strong against a torrent of tears that threatened to push past his eyes, “A damn fool. A goddamn fool.”
Ava shut her eyes as the tears began to fall. She let go of Dave’s hand in order to return the embrace, pressing her face into Donnelley’s chest, her small back starting to shake with sobs as not only was there a release of the anxiety that had built up over the past 2 or so months, but a release of a pain she had been carrying since she was a child. She was wanted by one of the people that brought her into this world.
There were still many unanswered questions, but right now, she didn’t care about that.
“Careful not to squish the baby grandpa.” she said with a shaking laugh between her uncontrollable sobbing.
Donnelley eased up and held Ava by her shoulders as he shared the laugh, wiping at one of his eyes, “I’d never.”
He looked at Ava, taking her in, belly and all. He didn’t know how he could go all these years without knowing May’s baby- his baby- was all grown up next to him. Especially when they met for the first time. Ava looked so much like her mother, but it only came to him in this moment, all at once. He remembered holding hands with May, knowing they were the only ones who could keep each other safe in a world full of people who looked down on them for the kind of people they were.
He didn’t know Ava’s story as well as he’d liked to. As well as a real father who’d been there since the beginning. But, he knew that girl that May Childers was would want him to protect the one thing they created together. No matter how unplanned it was in the moment. She’d want him to know her. Donnelley wanted to know her.
“I know I had no hand in the person you are today, but I want you to know that I wouldn’t change anythin’ about who you are.” Donnelley spoke to Ava, looking into her eyes like he used to look at May’s, “And I know you’re gonna be a better parent than I ever was. But I’m tryin’ for my Tilly.”
He smiled at Ava, “And I’ll try for you, Ava.” He chuckled, “Not that you need much raisin’ anymore. But I’ll be there. In whatever way you want me to.”
Ava wiped at her eyes and cheeks with her sleeves, a smile on her face despite the tears. “That’s all I want.” She said, her voice still rough with emotion. “Thank you, Donnelley. Or I guess dad? Because you’re my dad,” A fresh wave of tears started to pour from her eyes as she sniffed loudly. “I’m sorry, this is just the hormones now.” She said, rubbing at her eyes again with her sleeves.
“You’re fine, you’re makin’ me a lil’ misty-eyed.” Donnelley chuckled, then looked at Dave with a shit-eating grin with a quip to lighten the mood a bit, “You can call me dad too, if you want.”
Dave snorted, taking out his Cope and packing in a lip. “Maybe we’ll let Ava get used to it first, an’ then go from there,” he said. A yelping whine from the Puppy Jail caught his attention and he sighed, heaving himself to his feet. “She wants her buddy. I’ll put him down an’ then pour us a couple drinks, make some tea for Ava?”
“I think I'd like some hot chocolate and a brownie.” She said with another sniffle, finally seeming to get her tears under control as her mind turned to the idea of sweets. “Oh, but we need to eat first…” She thought about it before waving her hand and taking a seat on the couch Dave vacated. “Fuck it, stew after, the pregnant woman has spoken.”
Donnelley watched Ava sit with a newfound joy that he couldn’t keep from his face, smiling all the while he watched her gingerly set herself down in the couch and hearing the sound of her voice. When Dave moved to the kitchen, and Ava noticed him staring, his smile only grew a tad. The smell of the cooking food, and baking sweets, the puppies rolling across the floor with each other. Ava and Dave going about their lives with no more worry for the dangers outside. He turned around to look out the window and the snowy peaks and crags beyond as he bit down on his lip to steady himself from becoming a blubbering mess.
After a moment, he nodded to himself, and then Ava, “I think I’d better help get my daughter,” his voice almost caught at that, “Better help get my daughter some hot chocolate. Marshmallows?”
Ava looked up at him, her hand resting comfortably on her round stomach. Tears started to mist over her eyes again, but she smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” She answered, her voice growing quiet as she fought the urge to burst into tears yet again. “Thanks…Dad.”
>AVA RESIDENCE
>0200
>16DEC2019
Ava stared up at the dark ceiling above her bed, the only light of the room coming from the soft blue glow of her digital clock; obnoxiously informing her of the time. Things were still and silent in the room, the only sounds breaking up this monotony were the gentle snores coming from Dave and the soft purrs emitting from Thor as he made his bed next to Dave’s head on his pillow.
Dave’s arms were wrapped protectively around her, warm and comforting, his hand resting over her stomach. Normally she would have no issue falling and staying asleep with Dave beside her. And though she tried and she thought she must have drifted off at some point, she remained stubbornly awake.
She took in a breath, feeling a sense of restlessness starting to stir in her the more she stared at the ceiling and tried to will herself to fall back asleep. She shifted in the warm confines of the bed, trying to gently extract herself from Dave’s arms without waking him up.
Dave woke almost immediately, his hand reaching for the pistol by the bed. His brain was quick to catch up; it seemed these days that he was never really asleep. He could go from sleep to action in a heartbeat, and after a quick glance around the room he released the grip of the pistol and sat up.
“You alright, sugar?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Hey, sorry Dave,” Ava said sheepishly, sitting up herself. “I…can’t sleep. So, I was going to go make some tea and probably watch a little TV.” She grimaced. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Dave yawned and waved her comment away, giving Thor a scratch on the head. “I’ll give ya some company. Don’t mind gettin’ up, we can sleep in if we wanna.”
“That’s true,” She smiled at him in the dark. “It’s not like we have anywhere we need to go.”
“Exactly,” he said. He leaned over and gave her a kiss, reaching down and placing his hand against her stomach. He held it there a moment, then gave her another kiss. “Alright. C’mon, lemme find some pants.”
Ava smiled to herself, moving the bed sheets aside so she could get out of bed proper. “I hope I adjust to this new medication soon, I like sleeping and I’m already not a morning person.”
“You will,” Dave assured her. Unlike Ava, he was a morning person, and he was already waking up. “I’m gonna make coffee. What kinda tea did ya want? Can I get you a snack or somethin’?”
“Let’s start with the tea,” She chuckled, picking up her glasses from the nightstand. “A lavender latte sounds nice.” She thought for a moment before saying, “Since we’re just going to be up, I think I’ll get my Switch and play something.”
Dave nodded and, after locating his sweatpants, made his way to the kitchen. He began the process of making Ava’s lavender latte, while also starting a cup of coffee for himself. As an after thought, he tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave. She didn’t want a snack now, but he figured she’d eat some as soon as he put on a movie.
Ava gave Thor a few pets before leaving the bedroom after Dave and heading into her office, flicking on the light and making her blink and squint at the sudden brightness. She stared down at the mess that was her desk, a cluttered pile of miscellaneous papers, folders and booklets. The disorganized evidence of her and Dave trying to put a life together for themselves.
She sat in her desk chair and started shifting papers around, sure that her Switch was buried somewhere in the piles of financial records and real estate print outs.
After a few minutes searching, she moved aside some books she had recently bought on homesteading and on the Arkansas Ozarks and paused. Staring back at her was a familiar, thick manilla folder. One that caused an instant spike in anxiety as it brought forth a flood of painful memories.
Not just of the mission, the caves, Foster escaping out into the world, but of a painful argument and leaving a close friend behind. They hadn’t looked through the folder much when they got it, everything that had happened had been too fresh, too painful.
At the time, it was evidence that they were done with the Program. That was all they cared about.
Looking at the folder, Ava still felt the pain of that evening as if it was yesterday; when they left and didn’t look back at Donnelley. It had been weeks, they hadn’t heard from him. She had decided to keep in touch with Laine, the woman having grown to be something of an older sister figure for her. She didn’t want to let that go. And she could get updates on Queen, on Billy, how he was doing.
She hoped he would get better and she’d get to visit him.
Tears started to well up in her eyes and she rubbed them away on her sleeve before she sighed and opened the folder to begin to flip through it. She might as well make sure that they were given everything.
Dave bustled about in the kitchen, starting the Keurig, putting on the kettle, and starting the milk heating to make it a latte. He hummed to himself, occasionally singing a few snatches of lyrics from an old Hank Jr. song as he tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave.
The truth was he hadn’t been sleeping well, either. There were nights he’d lay in bed for hours, running over that final fight in his mind, wondering if things could have ended differently somehow. If he’d taken a shot sooner, thrown a grenade, something to stop the sorry bastards from getting away and making it feel like nothing had really been accomplished. It bled over into daily life; a few days ago he’d been out with Ava and had heard someone speaking a language that sounded close enough to Russian to make him want to go for his gun, just in case they were about to start a shootout in the middle of town.
When the water was ready he poured in into Ava’s frog mug, assembling the latte with deft experience. He put the popcorn in a bowl, which he left in the microwave to keep warm, and then took the tea latte and his coffee into the office, setting the mug in front of Ava.
“Here ya go.”
Ava looked up at Dave, a small reflexive smile on her face before she looked down at the mug he chose and chuckled. “Thank you Dave,” She said, taking off the mushroom hat top of the mug and setting it aside so the tea inside could cool a little. She waved her hand over the folder opened in front of her. “I got distracted, I just wanted to check that they really did give us everything.”
“You’re welcome, sugar.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, then leaned against the wall behind her desk, sipping his coffee. “I kinda paged through mine a little, but I wouldn’t know if they missed somethin’ or not. They went deep with them arrest records, I tell you that. Got the one from when I was 15 for gettin’ drunk with my buddies and crashin’ a four-wheeler through the neighbor’s fence. That got expunged when I turned 18.”
Ava was about to take a sip of her tea when she paused and slowly turned in her chair to look at him.
Dave grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “Woody’s uncle made a batch of ‘shine, so we made off with a jug of it…”
“To infinity and beyond, apparently.” She huffed with a gentle, amused shake of her head, took a sip from her mug and turned back to the folder. She flipped a page and an envelope slipped out, with a note in familiar handwriting she had not seen in some months. “Huh,” She set down her mug and picked up the envelope. “This is my old supervisor’s writing.” She said to Dave. Though Agent Stark had left it unsigned, she knew it was his. “Says I should look at the DNA samples enclosed.”
“DNA samples?” Dave frowned. “I didn’t have DNA stuff in mine.”
She grimaced as she opened the envelope. “I think it’s probably from when I…” She trailed off and shuddered. “Alaska.” She shook her head. “I think it’s standard procedure to take DNA during…well…” She trailed off, not wanting to invoke the images that came to mind with the word ‘autopsy’.
He reached down and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze before gently moving to rub the back of her neck.
She reached up to touch his arm, giving him a grateful smile. She turned back to the envelope and after taking a deep breath, opened it and pulled out the documents. What was in the papers wasn’t immediately apparent to her, it took some minutes of silent reading and flipping through charts before her eyes grew wide. “No.” She whispered quietly. “I’m…I must be reading this report wrong.”
“I hope not, cuz Lord knows I can’t read it,” Dave murmured. He leaned down closer. “What’s up, sugar?”
“It-it, um,” She shook her head and flipped through a few of the papers again, reading the paragraphs of information to make sure she was understanding it. “It says that, preliminary DNA tests showed a possible familial link between two of the bodies. Further testing confirmed with near certainty that there is a paternal link between ‘Subject 1A’ and ‘Subject 3A’. I’m subject 1A.”
“...Well shit,” Dave said, staring wide-eyed at the papers. He ran a few brief numbers in his head. Queen was only his age. “So that means 3A is…”
“Yeah,” She leaned back in her chair, looking up at Dave with wide eyes. “Donnelley…Is my father.”
He held her gaze, judging her mood. Experience told him she was teetering on the edge of panic and tears. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Sorry I punched your dad, that one time,” he said.
Ava let out a startled laugh, the mounting anxiety building inside of her released with that one sentence. She gently slapped at his arm with the papers. “This is serious Dave!” She said, despite the smile that remained on her face. “Like, this is HUGE!”
He knelt down beside her chair, slipping his arm around her.
“It is huge,” he said. “But…It also ain’t bad. So it’s somethin’ to think about, but not somethin’ to worry about.”
She leaned into the embrace, resting her head gently against his. “That’s true.” She agreed. “It’s just…so wild. I’ve wanted to know where I came from for so long and it turns out I’ve been working with one half of that mystery.” She frowned and looked down at the papers, shuffling them back into order so she could put them back in the envelope. “We didn’t…leave on the best terms with him.”
Dave felt a very brief twinge of anger at the treatment they’d received from Donnelley the last time they’d seen him. “No…No we didn’t,” he said. He shifted his weight so he was able to get both arms around her, laying his head against her chest. After a few moments of silently listening to her breathing and heartbeat he gave her a squeeze. “You wanna…See if we can fix that?”
“...Yeah.” She said quietly. “Would you be okay with that?”
“I’d never take that from you,” he said gently. “You lemme know when, and we’ll do it.”
Ava nodded slowly and leaned her head back against her chair. “Thank you Dave.” She placed her hand on his bare back and glanced over at her desk. “I think…Once we’ve settled everything we try to reach out to him.” Her lips quirked up into a mirthful smirk. “I’d like to see his face when he realizes he’s also going to be a grandpa.”
Dave grinned up at her. “Man, he’s gonna be gettin’ hit with a lot at once.” He leaned down and kissed her gently on her flat stomach. She wasn’t showing yet, but it wouldn’t be long. “Kinda wanna see his face.”
“Well, I guess that can be our pay back for how he left things off.” She chuckled. She grew quiet for a moment and added, “I hope he’ll be alright.”
...///
>SOMEWHERE IN ARKANSAS
>11FEB2020…///
The mountain roads were slick, but the off-road tires of the Ford Bronco held true as he sped through the snow. Speed was honestly relative in situations like these, but the nice thirty miles per hour was a pace he could keep up the mountain. Fuckin’ leave it to Dave to pick a spot nobody else but him can fuckin’ get to, he thought as he went around another turn, managing to keep from sliding right off and dying right where he started at the bottom.
That would be that for the reunion. He still didn’t know if he’d prefer that to looking Dave and Ava in the face, knowing he’d been the villain of their story last time they’d been in each other’s company. The weekly therapy sessions were getting just a bit too pressing on him, and he’d rescheduled the last few last minute to avoid Cherie’s subtle prying. Something she probably knew. This outing would be much needed, though he wasn’t looking forward to seeing them again. If an apology was what they were looking for, he could’ve given that to them over the phone. Written a letter and sealed it with all the sincerity in the world.
Truth be told, he was tired of facing difficult situations of his own making, or that the Program only exacerbated and lit the fuse of to the powder keg that was the worsening condition of UMBRA back when. He was still waiting for that phone call. The one that would bring him back. The one that would take him away from Tilly. He imagined the look on her face when he’d have to tell her he would be gone. Just another thing to be sorry for.
He pulled up to the only driveway at the end of this long road up the mountain to see the conditions of Dave and Ava’s living situation. It was real now, he thought, as he looked at the small hut and the parking structure they’d parked their vehicles in. He took a long breath and sighed it out, wondering if it was too late to just turn around. They could’ve just left him and everything to do with the Program in the past like he told them to. The last thing he wanted to hear was one of them getting hurt because he was here and someone saw. Getting hurt for the crime of knowing him.
But, he opened the door of the Bronco anyway and his square toe boots crunched in the snow as he closed the driver door behind him. Coming around Dave’s way had him dressing different. He felt like a hand on his uncle’s ranch, what with the carhartt jacket, hat, and whole ensemble. His eyes scanned the yard around before he stomped his way through the snow to the front door. He took a breath, and then rapped his knuckles on the front door.
“Just me.” He called out, “Donnelley.”
“I know.” Dave stepped out from behind the woodpile that was stacked next to his truck beneath the carport. It was a large, three-walled structure, open in the front and covered to keep the weather off both the vehicles and the wood supply. Tools hung along the back wall; shovel, pick, axes of various types for various uses.
“We saw ya comin’ a mile and change back. Wasn’t sure if it was you or not.” He held his customary AK loosely in his hands, muzzle down but stock extended, ready for use. His battle belt rode around his hips and while he wore a green and brown knit beanie atop his shaggy hair his green flannel was covered by his plate carrier. About ten feet to his left was Rufus; the big shepherd-mastiff mix walked slowly in an arc away from Dave, eyes locked on Donnelley as he circled him. He was silent, but his hackles here raised.
“Rufus, easy,” Dave said. He walked up to Donnelley and eyed him for a moment, then put out his right hand. He was relaxed but unsmiling; this was clearly a second chance. It also felt like a final one.
Donnelley kept himself from flinching at the sound of Dave’s voice. These weeks away from the Program were making him soft. Or maybe just normal. Either way, if Dave had been someone else…
He turned around to face Dave and was also greeted by a dog the size of which almost offended him. He elected to meet Dave half way in his yard, and a ghost of that old envy and resentment whispered in his ear at the offering of Dave’s hand. No smile from either man though. He could feel the tension in the icy air.
Donnelley looked from Dave to his hand, then back again. He took the hand and shook it firmly, “I’m glad to see you buildin’ a life out here.” He said, returning his hand to his side and scanning the wilderness, “A normal one.”
“Doin’ what we can, for sure,” Dave said, relaxing a little. A bit of that old smile came back as he released Donnelley’s grip and reached for a radio mic on the shoulder of his rig. “It’s clear, sugar. It’s Donnelley.”
He gave the man in question a sheepish look and a small shrug. “Well. Normal as things can be after all that.”
Donnelley watched Dave key in on his mic and nodded in solemn understanding. Even normal for the things they’d been through wasn’t truly so. The war isn’t ever really over. Even for them. Donnelley sighed, “We’re still workin’ on that.” Donnelley said, “Ghost and I found Nikolai.”
He let the implications of that hang on the air for a moment, knowing Dave would understand. Then he spoke again, “We’ll find Foster.” He assured, “You won’t have to keep lookin’ over y’all’s shoulders.”
“It’s the least I could do for you two.” He smiled, though faintly. The work was never done.
Soft scratching and squeaky barking sounded from the other side of the front door before it opened and bounding out came a puppy, a dusty gray and black coat of fuzz on its small body with a bright white spot on the chest. Large ears flopped around as the pup sniffed around briefly on the front stoop before seemingly noticing the new person to begin barking at Donnelley.
“Ripley, hush,” Ava said as she carefully stepped onto the small wooden deck that was their front step, another clearly more shy puppy hovering around her legs; this one a light tan coat more like Rufus’ with similar dark muzzle and ears.
Ava looked down at Donnelley, one hand holding onto the front door for balance and the other resting on top of the small, but unmistakable round bump of her stomach that was clearly visible through the dusky pink sweater dress she was wearing.
She stared down at Donnelley for a long, silent moment, multiple emotions flickering across her face and warring with each other. “Um,” She said, blinking her eyes and snapping herself out of her emotion-fueled paralysis. “Hey.”
Donnelley heard the front door come open and his attention was taken away by the sound of small barks. He eyed the puppies with some measure of affection, a thought coming to mind about floating the idea by Tilly if she’d want one. Maybe even Laine, before remembering their relationship would have to stay hidden so long as they were with the Program.
He buried his feelings about that as he looked up at Ava, only for his attention to be ripped back down to her stomach. He could see why Dave was so protective now, even past his usual amount.
“Hey.” He said, looking back at her face as she greeted him. He didn’t know what else to say, and settled on an easy, “Congratulations.”
Ava cracked a small smile and looked down at her stomach before looking back over at Dave. “Thank you, we’re excited.” Ripley hovered near the steps down to the snow covered ground, still barking and growling at Donnelley and Ava shook her head. “Well, come on in, once you’re inside she should stop barking at you. I’ve got venison stew on the stove and some rosemary garlic bread I made this morning, so I hope you’re hungry.” She flashed a slightly awkward smile before stepping back into the warmly lit interior, the quiet puppy giving a shake and a whine before hopping up the step to follow after her.
Ripley remained, resolute in her defensive posturing. Donnelley gave a small smile to the pup, stepping closer to the porch, “Easy, girl. I’m friendly.”
Once he made it past one of Ava’s fiercest protectors, Donnelley hung about the entryway, his hands in his pockets. It was a quaint little place. Like a studio apartment, the price of which back in Seattle probably went for a lot more than they had it here. He looked around, not a mess of empty bottles like he’d seen before in some other places that belonged to Program agents.
Even so, he still didn’t know whether he should find a seat for himself or wait to be offered one. Neither of them had said it aloud, but the last time they all shared a room it didn’t quite go as friendly as it could have. He cleared his throat, “The food smells amazin’. I know the garlic bread’s gonna be good.” He said, not lying, but not exactly all too open, “I, uh… I missed it. Your bakin’.”
Ava glanced over at him, in the process of giving the pot of steaming stew a few stirs. She smiled, albeit hesitantly. “Thanks, I made brownies for…mostly for me, because I’ve been craving them constantly, but you can have some if you want.”
Dave let the two get reacquainted while he put his things away. His rifle went on a hook on the wall, the vest and belt on a small stand he’d made for that purpose. He left the Sig in the belt holster and in its place hung a leather snap-on holster with a revolver nestled inside.
He glanced at Donnelley. “Black bears,” he said. “We’re new to this bit of woods, and Rufus ain’t run ‘em all off to my likin’ yet. They’re usually pretty shy, but with the puppies around and Ava pregnant, well… Better safe than sorry, right?”
With his old .357 secured at his hip Dave went over and sat down, picking up Moses when he ambled over to be petted. Ripley followed Ava.
“Take a seat,” Dave nodded at small loveseat across from the one in which he was sitting.
And so Donnelley did, taking the chance to finally sit again with gratitude. Before he did so, he brushed his coat aside and pulled a holstered Staccato C2 outfitted with an optic from his waistband and set it on a nearby surface. He looked at Dave and winked, “Figured it was time for an upgrade.” He smirked, “I like the holster. What’s in it?”
“Classy,” Dave grinned. “We’ll hafta shoot it while you’re out here. Got plenty of land.”
He unsnapped his holster and partially lifted the revolver. It was old, but clearly in good shape.
“Old Smith Model 19,” he said before stuffing it back in the holster. “I got rid of the Ruger, after…Well.” He shrugged, the brief memory of shooting down a Russian agent at his favorite hunting site flashing in his mind’s eye. “This one’s a little heftier, but she’s reliable as hell, and the .357 is plenty for bears or the rare cougar.”
“Oh, I’m sure. ‘Course, bangin’ on pots and pans might scare ‘em off, but shoot ‘em in the ass and they’ll never forget it.” Donnelley chuckled, “My uncle still keeps him a wheel-gun loaded with .410 shells for the rattlesnakes. Remember blastin’ at coyotes with his lever gun still, was a pretty good shot.”
Ava glanced over her shoulder at the two of them as they talked, a small smile on her face hearing them talk to each other like old times. She stepped away from the stove with a stainless steel bowl in her hand and set it down in front of Rufus, who after following Dave back inside, had calmly laid himself out in front of the small wood burning stove that helped heat their home.
She gave the big mastiff a ruffling scratch behind the ears before reaching down to scoop up Ripley when the pup tried to bury her face into Rufus’ food. “No, not for you.” She said, stepping out of the small kitchenette area and through a pair of double doors that lead out to a sunroom like attachment. She set Ripley down in a penned off corner of the room before returning to the kitchen to dish out bowls of stew for the three of them. “So, how have you been, Donnelly?” Ava asked over her shoulder. “After…” She trailed off and cleared her throat. “How have you been?”
He looked at Dave, and then looked at Ava. His smirk had faded just a bit and he glanced at the floor and cleared his throat, “After I almost ruined everythin’ with y’all?”
It was a little quiet then, but they couldn’t keep stepping around it, and the kind of person Donnelley was… that he was at least trying to be, didn’t just sweep things under the rug. He looked at Dave, “I said a lot that day.” He nodded, “A lot that I didn’t mean. Foster had gotten away, my best friend had finally broken…”
His eyes looked at the floor, remembering the raid, and the high emotions, and what he’d said, “I did a lot for the paperwork that let y’all go free, and I did it because y’all asked me. This ain’t the time nor the place for me to tell that story, and I probably never will, but…” He placed his hands in his lap, fingers entwined, “I don’t regret it, seein’ y’all live like this. And I’m sorry for what I said, and how it made y’all feel.”
He thought of Tilly, knowing she’d be proud of him for doing this. For being better, or at least trying, “So, thank you for lettin’ me come around and say that. Make amends. And lettin’ me break bread with y’all.”
“I been good, by the way.” He smirked.
Dave nodded, letting Donnelley get things off his chest. He waited until he was done and then smiled a little.
“We forgive you, man,” he said. “Call it square. You’re the first real company we’ve had out here. There’s Dan, but he don’t really count, he comes to work. Old man makes me feel like a hired hand on my own property.”
Ava huffed to herself, a small smile on her face at the mention of the old timer. “I’d call it more supervising, but don’t tell him I said that.” She smiled. “And, yeah, Dave’s right. We both forgive you Donnelley.” She bit her lip and glanced at Dave for a moment, hesitating and seeking his approval before catching herself. Dave was leaving this in her hands. Best to rip the bandaid off now and hope for the best.
She took a deep breath and turned to a small drawer in their counter, one of those short square ones that’s only purpose seemed to be to gather junk and stray bits of mail. This one she opened and there was only one thing inside, a singular envelope with the same handwritten note she had been given all those months ago. “There was…one other reason we invited you out here. On top of making amends.”
Donnelley eyed the envelope with a bit of curiosity and amusement behind his smirk, “What, did you get me a card or somethin’?”
Ava gave a nervous laugh. “Don’t think I didn’t consider getting a card.” She grew a bit more serious as she looked down at the envelope before back up at Donnelley. “It’s DNA testing from Alaska, after we died.” She said, carefully walking up to Donnelley and handing him the envelope. “Well, turns out my DNA matched with someone. A parent.”
She looked him in the eyes as steadfast as she could and said, “Remember that time you told me, someone would have to be a fool to throw a daughter like me away?”
Donnelley’s smirk dropped as he furled his brow in confusion, and then quietly processing the growing realization, looking from Dave who’d seemingly picked up the smirk that he dropped, to Ava. He cocked his head and looked at Ava more closely, “Did the Program… find your biological parents somewhere?”
“Just one,” Ava said quietly. “My father and it turns out he was really close by.” She held up the envelope for him.
Donnelley rose from his seat to take the offered envelope from Ava. He didn’t bother taking back his seat, just unsealing it in front of her and taking it from the envelope. He unfolded the piece of paper and began reading it, his eyes scanning the page. Once he was done, he folded it back up and slid it back into the open envelope. He didn’t meet Ava’s eyes.
“Who’s subject A3?” He muttered. He already knew, but he wanted her to say it.
Ava stared up at him, her heart beating quicker as fear and anxiety that he wouldn’t take it well, spiked in her chest. Tears started to sting at the back of her eyes as she took in a deep breath and reached out to touch his hand.
“You,” she said quietly, her voice straining with the swell of emotions that were not tampered thanks to her hormones. “It’s you.”
Donnelley let out a breath and swallowed, closing his eyes and bowing his head. He had a deep frown and bit his lip as he ran his free hand through his hair, “Fuckin’ Jesus…”
He stayed like that for a moment, still not meeting Ava’s eyes.
Dave reached over and took Ava’s hand, gently setting puppy Moses aside. Finding this out had been a rollercoaster for her; ups, downs, joy, confusion, fear… Fear that Donnelley would deny her, would storm off, would say something hurtful. There’d also been excitement, that maybe he’d embrace her and they could get to know each other on a different level. Either way, Dave was there for her.
He watched Donnelley closely. He was smiling, but the smile was cautious; silently he willed Donnelley to say something kind, even if he was letting her down to do it gently.
Ava gave Dave’s hand a squeeze, the tears continuing to well while the silence stretched on. “Do,” Her voice caught and she cleared her throat, though it didn’t remove the lump in her throat. “Do you not…want me? To be your daughter?”
Donnelley gently put his hands on Ava’s shoulders and drew her into a hug at that, shaking his head. He couldn’t tell what he felt more, guilt or happiness, the two emotions roiling in his chest. “Anyone would be a fool to not want you for a daughter, Ava.” He said, voice reedy as he held strong against a torrent of tears that threatened to push past his eyes, “A damn fool. A goddamn fool.”
Ava shut her eyes as the tears began to fall. She let go of Dave’s hand in order to return the embrace, pressing her face into Donnelley’s chest, her small back starting to shake with sobs as not only was there a release of the anxiety that had built up over the past 2 or so months, but a release of a pain she had been carrying since she was a child. She was wanted by one of the people that brought her into this world.
There were still many unanswered questions, but right now, she didn’t care about that.
“Careful not to squish the baby grandpa.” she said with a shaking laugh between her uncontrollable sobbing.
Donnelley eased up and held Ava by her shoulders as he shared the laugh, wiping at one of his eyes, “I’d never.”
He looked at Ava, taking her in, belly and all. He didn’t know how he could go all these years without knowing May’s baby- his baby- was all grown up next to him. Especially when they met for the first time. Ava looked so much like her mother, but it only came to him in this moment, all at once. He remembered holding hands with May, knowing they were the only ones who could keep each other safe in a world full of people who looked down on them for the kind of people they were.
He didn’t know Ava’s story as well as he’d liked to. As well as a real father who’d been there since the beginning. But, he knew that girl that May Childers was would want him to protect the one thing they created together. No matter how unplanned it was in the moment. She’d want him to know her. Donnelley wanted to know her.
“I know I had no hand in the person you are today, but I want you to know that I wouldn’t change anythin’ about who you are.” Donnelley spoke to Ava, looking into her eyes like he used to look at May’s, “And I know you’re gonna be a better parent than I ever was. But I’m tryin’ for my Tilly.”
He smiled at Ava, “And I’ll try for you, Ava.” He chuckled, “Not that you need much raisin’ anymore. But I’ll be there. In whatever way you want me to.”
Ava wiped at her eyes and cheeks with her sleeves, a smile on her face despite the tears. “That’s all I want.” She said, her voice still rough with emotion. “Thank you, Donnelley. Or I guess dad? Because you’re my dad,” A fresh wave of tears started to pour from her eyes as she sniffed loudly. “I’m sorry, this is just the hormones now.” She said, rubbing at her eyes again with her sleeves.
“You’re fine, you’re makin’ me a lil’ misty-eyed.” Donnelley chuckled, then looked at Dave with a shit-eating grin with a quip to lighten the mood a bit, “You can call me dad too, if you want.”
Dave snorted, taking out his Cope and packing in a lip. “Maybe we’ll let Ava get used to it first, an’ then go from there,” he said. A yelping whine from the Puppy Jail caught his attention and he sighed, heaving himself to his feet. “She wants her buddy. I’ll put him down an’ then pour us a couple drinks, make some tea for Ava?”
“I think I'd like some hot chocolate and a brownie.” She said with another sniffle, finally seeming to get her tears under control as her mind turned to the idea of sweets. “Oh, but we need to eat first…” She thought about it before waving her hand and taking a seat on the couch Dave vacated. “Fuck it, stew after, the pregnant woman has spoken.”
Donnelley watched Ava sit with a newfound joy that he couldn’t keep from his face, smiling all the while he watched her gingerly set herself down in the couch and hearing the sound of her voice. When Dave moved to the kitchen, and Ava noticed him staring, his smile only grew a tad. The smell of the cooking food, and baking sweets, the puppies rolling across the floor with each other. Ava and Dave going about their lives with no more worry for the dangers outside. He turned around to look out the window and the snowy peaks and crags beyond as he bit down on his lip to steady himself from becoming a blubbering mess.
After a moment, he nodded to himself, and then Ava, “I think I’d better help get my daughter,” his voice almost caught at that, “Better help get my daughter some hot chocolate. Marshmallows?”
Ava looked up at him, her hand resting comfortably on her round stomach. Tears started to mist over her eyes again, but she smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” She answered, her voice growing quiet as she fought the urge to burst into tears yet again. “Thanks…Dad.”