Kyuki

Moral Support Needed

Hey everyone!

So I know I don't frequent as much as I used to. But I have something I'm kinda going through and I just need some moral support...

Okay, so my last post I talked about going back to school and everything, right? Well everything was in order until yesterday I get a email from the assistant director of admissions stating that I failed to send them transcripts from two other universities I had attended. That a student who works in the admissions department saw my file and mentioned it to them. So the problem is... I didn't attend/attain any credits from any other universities and the schools they listed I have never even heard of. So I explained to him that it was an error and etc. At which point he says "Well maybe if you would just pick a school and stick with it you wouldn't have to worry about causing other people mass confusion." He probably would have been okay if he left it at one snide remark. But I fail to see how sending an email caused mass confusion? It was unbelievable. So I kindly said to him "I took a year off after being raped on your institutions campus. I did not attend any other institution and most definitely do not appreciate your comment." So his response to that is "Well that is just what happens when you're careless." So I kindly hung up on him rather than screaming at him like I wanted to.

After that interaction I got an email from him asking to confirm in writing that I didn't attend them. So I was cooperative and did so. But I am so incredibly tired of fighting with this damn school. I think I am finally going to push back. I feel like I'm six feet under and I think it's time they stop digging my hole deeper and start trying to figure out how to get out of their own hole. So I am filing a civil lawsuit against the school and having my rapist arrested. I spent the day with the DA and although they don't think they could get him on rape they definitely said they could get him on child molestation since I was seventeen at the time of the incident. In addition to all of this my lawyer has gotten me in contact with my local state senator and recommended I write a letter requesting he consider bringing legislation to Pennsylvania that would force universities to respond to these reports more aggressively and make it unlawful for the schools to continue to hide behind their internal investigations. If they are found trying to cover it up they could face a fine. This is something that Govenor Cuomo of New York is working on and I really would like to see it come to Pennsylvania and honestly nationwide.

However, with all of this comes the hard part. I have to tell my story. I can't get three words in without sobbing... I don't feel like anything I write is good enough and I really don't feel like I'm worth it. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I honestly believe I would be better off dead. All I am is broken. I'm not worth anything. I want to make this change but I feel as though that I won't have any impact. So what's the point? Maybe even my boyfriend is better off without me. I just don't know anymore.

I feel like a part of myself has died...

His friends were the worst as well?
Shit K00kie
You must be a hell of a lot stronger person than me, cause I don't know if I could trust anyone again if I went through the same bullshit.

SEND US PICTURES OF THE WEDDING I WANT TO BASH YOUR CHOICE OF BRIDESMAID DRESSES HUEEHUEHEUEHUEHUEHEUHEUEHU

@Azarthes

Well, his best friend at least. It's a kinda a long story but basically his best friend is a member of the firehouse he is chief at called me a whore and said I made up being raped. Went around the town telling people that I was probably just drunk and was a typical female crying wolf. So speaking I am a business owner in a town that stretches about six miles long. Word got back around to me. My boyfriend addressed it in a meeting, stating that the fire company has a morals code they are all required to abide by and just saying that the rumors needed to end. So his "best friend" got butthurt since he knew he was the one that said it. Then sent my mother, brother, and myself messages stating that we were all lucky to be associated with my boyfriend because otherwise he would beat the brains out of every one of us. And that we should be careful who we sever ties with. So obviously this angered my boyfriend and he promptly informed him that their friendship would not extend beyond the fire company. So this guy continued on for a few weeks. Even sent people to fuck with my boyfriend at his grandfather's funeral. Then one day asked that we all come to his house to sort things out. So out of respect for my boyfriends friendship with him, I obliged. And the "meeting" was just him and his crazy fiancee playing 500 questions and unfortunately I got there before my boyfriend and then they said to me "Why don't you just admit that you're a low-life whore who made up being raped? Just like you're mother." (My mom was also raped at 16 and had a baby that unfortunately passed away after birth) So not so much for myself but my mom-- I lost my temper and basically threw the police reports at them and the reports from the school and the rapists' statement where he admits that I didn't consent. At which point the guys crazy fiancee went into their house and came back out with a baseball bat chasing me telling me I'm psycho and what not. Wanting to know who I paid to make up the reports. All as my boyfriend was pulling up. So yeah that's basically the whole story in a nutshell.

So that is why we are waiting before announcing anything. Unfortunately this all has lead to him stepping down from his involvement with the fire company.

The wedding however probably won't be for another year or so? But I will most definitely post some pictures! :)

And yeah, I'm starting to think I should write a soap opera based on my experiences or a lifetime movie. I would probably make a couple thousand off of it!

Honestly though, it is eating away at me slowly. Especially since my family really isn't that supportive. Best thing that I think could happen is getting into my own place. This way I can at least escape it. Because as of now. I go out to get away from my family and I go home to get away from the people from the fire house. But I am never truly getting away. It has been hard for my relationship too because I think Mike (the boyfriend/unofficial fiancee) is starting to think he doesn't make me happy... but he does! He really does. It is just hard to be in love and feel so broken and empty at the same time.

Supportive... Support? *looks at smudged writing on hand* Suppository? Man, I'll just default to reposting this instead and hope it helps.



<Snipped quote by Azarthes>

Do this if you feel like it, though. It'd be great.

@Antarctic Termite

Of course! :D

I feel like a part of myself has died...

Marriage, motherfucker

can you dig it?

@Azarthes

It is incredibly strange. Especially since it is being kept a secret since my boyfriend just wants to make sure we get settled into our own little abode before being rushed into wedding planning by my mother or his. That and we just got through a lot of bullshit with his friends making physical threats towards me and he also wants to make sure those people are completely out of his life before we announce anything because he says with everything I've been through with the assault and then his own friends making threats of physical harm. He doesn't want to give anyone anymore reason to say anything negative towards me. Basically he is being super protective. Which I understand because I'm sure people will automatically assume I am pregnant, due to my age. However, I am incredibly happy with everything and cannot wait to share it with everyone in my life. (Kind of) People in my life offline are not the greatest so I don't know how it'll go over!

Never stress out about anything that will be over before you turn 25. Especially school.

@mdk

Noted. Just wish I could apply that advice haha. I stress over almost everything~~~ I just feel angry towards the school thing because it wasn't by choice, y'know? I just feel a wee bit robbed. However, I am grateful with how things turned out. I most likely would have never met the guy I am with now if none of that ever occurred.

I feel like a part of myself has died...

I'm in a nostalgic mood... And a bit of a depressed one as well. Struggling a bit with where my life is. Thinking about how I should be going into my junior year of university this year at the sweet tender age of 19. But instead I'll be a sophomore (oh yeah I've decided to return and finish my studies after all) so I don't know I'm just feeling like I need to reflect a bit. Which involves RPG and toontown... Except apparently Toontown isn't a thing anymore. :tear but anyway, life is moving forward at warped speed. I'm getting married in the near future and moving out on my own in October. My boyfriend is in the hiring process of a job making 110,000/year so he's just waiting on everything to be finalized. So my life has just been moving quite fast and I think I needed a moment to chew it over with Twix (RPG) hope all is well with everyone else! But in other news, my computer died two months ago and I've yet to acquire a new one... Which is strange because at one point I essentially lived on the Internet and my computer. It's weird to think Spam and RPG have been a part of my life for four years now. Where does time go. I need a shoulder to cry on guys! D: some of you have supported me through unspeakable things especially within the past year-- and I could never thank you guys enough for that. If it wasn't for People in Spam I don't know if I would still even be alive if it wasn't for he support I've gotten from the people on this site. I love you guys.

Post Your Pikcha

First picture I've posted in a while!

So.

Nice to see you're alive.

@idlehands

You as well. :)

Well, kinda dealing with lack of mobility due to falling and fucking up my knee. Add that on top of my disability and it's shit. Otherwise, not a single thing has changed. Still lazy, still drinking, still playing video games. Well, I watch more anime now-a-days, so that's new.

@TP

Ah, I've seen a few of your fb posts. Sorry to hear about your fall.

cut my leg off. It's kind of awesome actually. I recommend it. As a potential role model, I recommend voluntary amputations.

@mdk

Just be careful. Drago might film you in the bedroom. He's into amputee stuff. But glad to hear having your leg chopped off isn't life ending! :) I like the optimism

The weirdest response I ever got at a job interview was from when I applied to McDonalds when I was still in college. They turned me down because I didn't have any experience in food preparation. I had job experience that showed that I wasn't come crack head who quit every job they got a couple of weeks into being hire, but it wasn't the specific experience they wanted.

How the fuck can anybody ever get job experience if McDonalds requires it? That shit was unnatural.

@Vilageidiotx

I think we both need therapy.

@Antarctic Termite

I'm disturbed yet I can't peel my eyes off of it.

<Snipped quote by Kyuki>

I don't like to let the past ruin a person's future. Also, I mostly knew you by reputation, so I preferred giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Either way, I'm glad you've had some success since some of those—other—things. I'll leave the rest of the pampering to the people who actually matter. ;]

@Holmishire

thanks! <3

You think he's a man? All I can say, if he's not a man, then he is the weirdest dog I have ever seen.

@Beatrix

You just never know, Bea.

Ohai kyuki. I'm fine. Waiting for my lady to crap out this child we're expecting.

@Rilla

RILLA! <3 yous gon has a babby?

So.

who are you

@LowKey123

most recent photo of me

stop taking acid

@Dead Girl

Wait didn't you have cancer? Like, I feel like I remember that and I was terrified when you disappeared.

Also <3

@Jster

A couple years ago I had that brain tumor scare... then my mom was like almost dead with cancer.

But glad you remember/worried about me. <3 :'D

I'm not dead.

yet

<Snipped quote by LowKey123>

<Snipped quote by Dead Girl>

hush children

Hey Kyuki. Glad to know life's going well for ya these days ^^

@Halo

Hey! Thanks! I'm glad to see things are slightly back to normal on here too! Last time I was here it was a bunch of people I didn't care to know.

<Snipped quote by LowKey123>

How exactly do you want us to respond? What answer will be sufficient?

Kyuki is a female member of RPG who was very active at a couple points in the history of the Spam subforum. She went through some tough stuff at school, came back to give an update and seek support, disappeared for a while again, and now is back to check in now that her life has taken a turn for the better, relatively speaking.

She has at various points had sets emphasizing cute dogs.

@Holmishire

this is not the answer I thought would come of this question. I was waiting for the "She was a notorious jail-baiting 15 year old whore" at least that is how I would have described myself... based on my behaviour in previous years. I'm glad I've matured so much since all of those shenanigans... I've moved on to just being a puppy loving faithful lover. :'D

Note: I am not in a relationship with a dog/puppy... he is a real man...

I think?

Justttt kidding I know he's 100% man

Hey k00kie

@Azarthes

My wittle diamond. <3

<Snipped quote by Kyuki>

That's very, very silly.

@The Nexerus

It is indeed.

So.

So haiiiii errybody!!

I'm mainly here out of boredom...

I got turned down for a job a Wal-mart today because I am "over-qualified" and there are other people who need it more?

That was confusing.

My car that is barely a year old has been in the shop 5 times...

My boyfriend's best friends fiancee chased me with a baseball bat...

But life is pretty great!

How is everyone else doing?

It's been my birthday.

I just missed celebrating my 3 year anniversary? Kinda crazy to think about.

Tinychat!

Gwazi: I see. :c Drakel!!! <3 And we definitely should... like some time today because I have nothing on my schedule!

Has anyone seen Walker around? I used to chat with him on Steam from time to time, but he seems to be walking the darkness hard these days. As in, he's shadowy. As in, he needs to see the light once more.

@Foxxie

Well, since last I checked he lives in VA somewheres and I do not... I have not seenhim around. ;D But! I haven't heard from him either. In a good year or so.