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As far as your character goes, she looks great. I can definitely see how the whole insanity thing could prove problematic, but as long as you can find in character reasons to keep her from flipping out on the party, I don't really think it would be an issue. Also, I feel like Omni's shinobi would pair good with your Big Sister, maybe helping to anchor her somewhat. As far as powers go, it really is a case by case basis. For example; with the shinobi, I asked him to get rid of his shadow-clone jutsu on the grounds that he already had a lot of other jutsus that were either wind or medicine based, and I wanted to streamline him a bit. For your character, however, each plasmid is essentially one spell with one function. Sure, they can be used outside of combat, but what they do doesn't really change. Opening doors by shooting lightning at them is essentially the same as unlocking a door by shooting the lock off. All things considered, I think it's totally fine that she would have one of each kind.


I wasn't really sure if I should throw a whole host of plasmids in, or just focus on a handful but make them really in depth.

...Triforce of Courage has been put together, since the entire implication in the first game is that Link needs it's power to even contend with Ganon and his Triforce piece.


Triforce of Wisdom. The Triforce of Courage wasn't invented till the second game. Continuity wise, during the first game, the Triforce of Courage would be in the Great Palace, deep in the Valley of Death, protected by a magical binding, a fair distance away from the first Legend of Zelda's map.
@Dr Lovecraft I am so sorry, that was not my intention at all.

Maybe it would be a good idea to create an interest thread to drum up some new players?
They don't always have to be angry. Having a hair trigger temper works just a well.
@ZAVAZggg Really depends on how you write them. Traditionally the lancer in any story is constantly pissed off but he's still part of the team.
@ZAVAZggg The key part of a roleplay is that its cooperative. If you write a character with a specific story or specific arc you want to tell then you are effectively discounting any input other characters could have on how yours develops. At that point you may as well be writing a book or a short story. The point of this format is telling a story together.

Like, looking at my character, I'm interested in exploring how trauma at an early age shapes her outlook on life but beyond the basic theme, I'm not deciding how that will play out because maybe the others do something unexpected which causes a gear shift in her arc. The point is ti play off one another, not write separate stories in the same space.

If what you know is constantly being angry, then write someone who is angry. Maybe utilizing those impulses in a space like this where the consequences are fictional will help you deal with them in your life. The meme about D&D secretly being therapy is extremely accurate and applies to this medium in a very similar fashion.
@ZAVAZggg *low whistle* Okay, I am not qualified to unpack literally any of that.

I will just say that putting a piece of yourself into a character isn't about self-insertion. It's about authenticity. I've never been hijacked from a place that was supposed to protect me, turned into a genetic experiment, and then made to harvest corpses while hiding in vents for my life like my character has. But I have been homeless before, I have had authority figures who were supposed to look after my best interest toss me aside when it was convenient. I have had experiences that while not in any way the same in amplitude to what a girl in Rapture might undergo, are similar on a much smaller scale which I can put into writing her. Whereas a writer with the same concept who had never had those experiences may provide a more wooden take on the concept. If there's none of that in your characters then it becomes very easy to dash off a character sheet, write them for a month, and then toss them aside. And as it relates to a cooperative writer experience, well, if you don't care about your character, why should we?

It should also be noted that "My character isn't god." is not the same thing as "This isn't a power fantasy." Just because technically speaking you've made your character mortal, doesn't mean you haven't given them an extensive amount of power. Mortal, killable, has weaknesses, should be a perquisite for 99% of characters, not given as proof that they aren't overpowered.

But I am not really qualified to give a lecture on writing theory. Here, you might find this helpful.

@Dr Lovecraft@Dark Cloud Do let me know if I overstep. I'm try to be helpful but I know I have pushed too hard sometimes. I don't want to cross the line between "helpful critique" and "making someone feel bad about their work".

@Prince of Seraphs So far the abilities look okay. But I'll give the rest of it a reread in a bit.


Cool, I'll see about writing a bit more in depth on the plasmids. I just copied their in game description so they could probably use a bit of clarification.
@ZAVAZggg If I'm being honest, that sounds really sad. Maybe excitement is the wrong word, but shouldn't you have some kind of investment in your characters? What do you get out of writing them if you don't care about them as people and only see them as tools? Maybe try asking yourself, what part of you are you imbuing into the character. What part of them is a reflection of you, the piece that no one else could write, even if they had the same base concept, because they aren't you?

Again, really trying not to be mean, but what part of the vampire lord who killed the ancient Harkon, final boss of one of the Elder Scrolls games and only being capable of siring pure-blood vampires, took his throne, his sword, and his court, and has a bunch of gems made for stealing the souls of powerful beings, wasn't a power fantasy?

As for Arcamor, if you've decided he won't work, he won't work. It's that simple. You're the author, you can make changes to alter the character so they suit the setting. Naturally if you don't want to do that then they aren't going to suit the setting so a new concept is probably warranted.
I suppose a new character will be mandated, though what kind they will be I do not know.


You could just roll him back a few hundred years. Make him a fresh vampire struggling with if his vampirism means the loss of his humanity, a deep seated sense of betrayal gnawing at his soul from what his brother did to him, caught between a desire to return home and exact vengeance or if home would even be a good place for him to be now that he's a monster. There's plenty of places to take a monstrous character struggling with if being a literal monster means they have to act like a monster and being tempted by how easy it would be to simply stop caring about anyone or anything but themself.

Incidentally there's nothing wrong with writing to explore a concept you find interesting but have you tried writing one you simply find enjoyable? My experience is that you get more out of writing something you are having fun with over something that feels like a chore. That doesn't mean everything always going smoothly for your character, conflict is the basis of stories, but it means making a character that excites you to write about, even if it's not particularly complicated. (You may actually find that less complicated is better because it leaves you more to explore in the roleplay itself.)
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