LadyDove09

Just Passing Through

She jumped out of her chair and stalked to the door shutting it firmly. She didn't quite slam it, but it was close. "Don't get pissed off at me James Perez!" She shouted. "You dump a giant piece of information in my lap, well parts of it anyway and give me less than 30 seconds to either accept it or walk away?" She demanded.

She stalked back to the side of the bed and leaned over to make sure he could see her. "I am beginning to suspect you LIKE being a miserable bastard." She said, the harshness gone from her voice. "You're looking for any excuse to run, hell you didn't even give me a chance to walk away, you just fucking went ahead and did it."

She pushed away from the bed and began pacing, irritation evident in her every movement. "Here's a hint James, when someone says 'I don't understand' it generally means they DON'T FUCKING UNDER-GOD DAMN-STAND!" Her arms were waving as she yelled. Suddenly she stopped looked skyward and sighed muttering "Give me strength, for all that is holy, give me the patience not to strangle him."

"No, I am not going to do this. I am not going to yell." She takes a deep breath and walks over to the chair and sits down again crossing her arms over her chest. "I am just going to fucking sit right here until I get an explanation."

She nodded her head and muttered to herself "Tell me how I'M going to think, react, or feel. Damn man has another god damned thing coming to him if he thinks he can just drop a bomb like that then throw a pity party when I don't jump for freaking joy over having my second date with the world's oldest man."

Just Passing Through

She stiffened her body tense. She was listening to this and couldn't help but think that it was the craziest thing she had ever heard. No wonder he didn't want to see a therapist, he would be locked up! She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them listening to what to her sounded like the rantings of a lunatic.

" I see" She said slowly. "So ummm I am afraid I don't understand. You are telling me you are around 150 years old, and that you don't age." She exhaled loudly blowing her breath out with a WOOSH. She's pretty sure she doesn't believe a damn word he is saying, but she is willing to hear the entire story.

She leaned forward resting her chin on her knees watching him carefully. She did her best to try to keep the suspicion from her voice, but she wasn't sure she was able to. She was tempted to run, oh was she ever tempted to run, but for some reason unknown to her she stayed. She sat there rooted to her chair, unable to get up and leave.

"I have no idea what to say here James, I don't really understand what is happening."

Just Passing Through

She handed him his meds with a glass of water. "Nothing wrong with a therapist." She said as she adjusted the pillows behind him, trying to make him more comfortable. "I've gone a time or two myself. It can be helpful." It was helpful, she at first had to be ordered to go after the fire that had cost many of her friends her life. She had fought against the entire process thinking she could handle it on her own, but soon the panic attacks started, the mere scent of a neighbor's grill would send her into a panic. She couldn't do her job, she stopped eating, couldn't focus.

"You need to talk to someone. You can't hold it all in. Trust me." She finished arranging the bed and flopped down in the chair with a sigh. She gazed off into the distance wondering if she should share her story. "So umm about 3 years ago there was a huge fire. I don't know if you remember, but an entire apartment complex went up in flames. It wasn't a slow growing fire, that could have been dealt with. This was a massive conflagration. The whole thing was engulfed almost immediately." She said her eyes traveling to stare out the window. She wasn't actually seeing anything other than flames. She decided to tell him. He needed to know he wasn't the only one.

"I never bothered to train as a firefighter. I enjoyed being an EMT, I had never felt the need to run INTO a burning building. Marc and I could do nothing but wait outside. We were busy of course, basic things, minor bandaging, some oxygen here and there. It was a mass casualty situation, we weren't transporting anyone but the most serious of cases." She sighed softly shaking her head a little to try to clear the flames from her vision.

"The building wasn't in exactly the best shape before the fire. I remember I was wrapping a sprained ankle on a teenage kid when I heard this horrible roar. I turned in time to see flames growing, and then a large portion of the building collapsed. Five of our guys were trapped." She stopped talking and turned to look at him her eyes meeting his.

"It stays with you, but you need to realize that it never gets easier unless you talk about it." She made sure to maintain eye contact. Yes there was sadness in her gaze, grief she would carry for the rest of her days, but there wasn't the haunted look one would expect to see. She still grieved, and would forever, but the loss did not haunt her every step.

Just Passing Through

"It's ok. We all have a breaking point. You just reached yours." She said still holding him. "It is part of what makes us human." She kissed the top of his head again before letting him go.

She reached for his hand running her thumb over his knuckles. "You're going to be ok. I know right now it seems like this never gets better, but it does. You have to allow yourself to process, to grieve. If you ignore it, it doesn't get better it gets worse." She said as she sat back down in her chair still holding his hand. She knew he hadn't allowed himself to grieve his losses. If he had, talking about it would have brought sadness, and maybe a few quiet tears, but not this kind of break down.

She slowly pulled her hand away from his and picked up his abandoned dinner, handing it to him. "Eat." She said firmly. "There will be time to talk after you eat."

She waited for him to take the food she held out with one hand while she reached for the call button with the other. She pressed the button to call the nurse. He needed another dose of pain medication. She sat with him her attention unwavering until the nurse came through the door. She turned to face her letting her know to bring another dose.

She waited until the nurse brought his medication and left before talking again. "Have you ever really talked about what happened with anyone?" she wanted to know.

Just Passing Through

Shit! She thought to herself. I broke him. She jumped off the edge of the bed and hurried closer. She was terrified to hurt him, but she gently wrapped her arms around him drawing him to her shoulder. "Shhhh, it's ok. Let it all out." She wanted to rub his back, but his ribs were going to be paining him enough with the crying, she certainly didn't need to touch them. She kissed the top of his head holding him as he cried. "It is all going to be ok."

She mentally debated with herself on calling the nurse. She had to find a way to calm him before he caused himself serious pain. She smoothed his hair and just held him as gently as possible. "I am here hon. It is going to be ok." No wonder the Doctors were taking an interest in him. He was likely depressed. She should have seen the signs, the isolation, the lack of friends and family. Looking back she could clearly see it, she couldn't help beating herself up a little, she should have seen this before.

"James. I need you to take a deep breath for me, as much as you can. Slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth." She spoke softly. "I need you to calm down as best you can, so listen to my voice ok? We're going to do this together." She began to slowly count for each breath doing her best to keep him focused on his breathing. It wasn't going to be easy to breathe deeply with his ribs, so she shortened the count to five rather than the normal ten.

Just Passing Through

Her heart broke for him. She wished she could say something, anything to make it better. This was one time when there really was no right answer, she had to just sit silently and watch him be absorbed by his memories. They ate in silence as she kept sneaking glances at him. She had no idea what she was looking for, she just needed to reassure herself that he was still there.

She didn't eat much, her concern for him overriding her hunger. She pushed her food away and looked at him. "Do you want to talk about them? Sometimes it helps to remember the good things, and not just the way they died." She said quietly. She rose from her chair, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed putting herself closer to him.

"We don't have to talk about your family, but it sometimes helps." She said quietly her hand resting on his uninjured knee. "Just let me know if there is anything you need. ok?" Her eyes searched his face, looking for something, some clue to tell her what to say or do. She couldn't determine if he needed to talk, or to forget.

She herself was no stranger to loss, certainly the loss of friends, and even grandparents was not nearly on the level of watching your family die, but she did know loss. She wanted to tell him about her friends, good men who were lost in a large apartment fire a few years ago. The fire itself was not an accident. There had been a local slum lord who needed to eliminate a particularly pesky property. When the roof collapsed, several fire fighters were caught inside. She had not trained as a firefighter, she could do nothing but wait until one by one they were brought out. She and Marc tried desperately to do what they could, only one man made it as far as the hospital.

Just Passing Through

Either is fine. I see positives to both sides. I am thinking though that if he makes up a story, then we can play off his desire to tell her the truth as they get closer.

Just Passing Through

Sorry I feel asleep early last night. Had sick kiddos yesterday, it wore me out. :)

Dove's 1x1 interest check

I have been RPing for about 17 years on and off. I enjoy all types of RP. I am not familiar with any of the Anime or Manga fandoms, but if you have a really great idea, I do have google and internet streaming. I can fake it. I don't have any particular pairings in mind, but I prefer FxM or FxF. I prefer to play females as my males are not very believable, but I can double if necessary.

Just Passing Through

She just laughed and shook her head as he talked about mistaking her cat for a stuffed animal, Lucky was a strange cat. She had found the poor orange tabby when he was just a few weeks old. He had been living under a neighbors broken down vehicle. She managed to catch him and he had been her constant companion for almost four years now.

He mentioned picking up a few movies and she nodded reaching to gather the movies he had already watched. "After we eat I will run across the street and pick up some new ones. Just let me know what you would like to watch."

She handed him the carton with the beef, and opened the chicken for herself. "you know you honestly didn't have to do this for me." She glanced up at him and shrugged as he spoke. "I wanted to though, besides this kills two birds with one stone. You get to eat real food, and I for once don't have to eat alone." She said with a little smile picking at the chicken. It wasn't the greatest chinese food in Houston, but it was at least edible.

She ate in silence for a few minutes until he asked. "Have you ever had the moment where you thought you were the only one on this earth with how alone you felt?" She looked up in surprise, her eyes widening. She was quick to swallow her food and she reached out to grab his wrist.

"Believe it or not, yes. Everyone feels that way at one time or another." She lets go of his wrist, but doesn't drop the subject. "It gets easier, but sometimes you have to work for it. Make a few friends. It doesn't always help, but it sure as hell makes it easier sometimes."

She watched him put down his fork, showing no signs of wanting to eat. She could hear the sadness in his voice as he said. "I'm as good as I can be today." She sighed softly.

"Talk to me James. There is obviously something wrong. You can tell me what it is." She said setting aside her own meal and scooting the chair closer to the bed. "I know you don't know me well, but you can trust me."