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A Desert Night

tabby & poo
On the initial journey from Gilane, the dirt and heat of the desert had felt nothing short of oppressive. Each step was unpleasant for Anifaire, her thoughts and feelings at their lowest. It seemed all was a failure and she could do nothing about it.

Leaving the prison, the heat didn’t seem so dry, and she realized she was so dirty it was beyond repair. In the most dire need of a bath than she had ever been in her life, Anifaire felt more satisfaction than ever. Somehow, beyond her despair, the group had succeeded. In the back of one of the wagons, she found herself leaning into the sun, careless for how the sand sprayed her, the journey as far from the first as could be.

As they arrived, the entire tent city reverberated with the high of celebration she felt. Through all her time since leaving Alinor, she had never felt so welcomed by a strange people without even speaking to any of them, though she knew she owed it to her group’s success. Though she often would struggle with feeling inadequate over not playing her own part, the cooled evening air felt like it was washing inhibitions off her.

She weaved her way through the large crowd, for once unconcerned about the possibility of being lost or running into unfavourable circumstances like she had in the past. The atmosphere forbade her fears; no hostility directed itself towards her. She brushed past others, no destination in mind, until to her surprise she found herself at the front of a crowd watching a wrestling match.

Two redguard women, unarmed, circled each other. One stood, fists raised, a grin on her face, but the other, quicker, grappled her around the waist, using superior size to push the former back several paces. Their bare feet slid in the sand, but somehow each kept balance like it had no effect, until the woman being grappled shot up her knee, knocking the larger one to the ground.

All around her, men and woman cheered, shouted, and generally made a ruckus following the hit. The woman next to her, an Imperial far shorter than Anifaire, threw her arm around the elf’s shoulders, a bottle of… something, in the other hand. The stranger, friendly as she was, was intoxicated and without balance; the pair were knocked to the ground. As Anifaire collected herself, and the other woman scrambled to apologize, the crowd filled in around them, people rushing forwards and cheering over the wrestling match.

The Imperial, trying to stand up, handed Anifaire the bottle in her hand. She made it to her feet, using the elf as a confused ladder, and just as quickly she disappeared into the shifting, river-like crowd. Anifaire backed out of it, the adventure enough for the moment, and was able to use the benefit of her height to see over enough heads to make it to the outskirts of the tent city.

The atmosphere was more subdued, and while she felt less exhilarated, she could breathe again. Finding a half-clear area still well within the bounds of the tents, she discarded her shoes, wanting to feel the sand now that it was cold. She sat in the sand, resigned to be dirty until a bath was available, and the sand felt nice.

She tilted the bottle in her hand up to her face, sniffing the contents: wine. Anifaire placed the bottle in front of her. Was it all right to drink it? She frowned.

“We haven’t had any time to talk yet, have we?” A voice asked from behind her. Not four paces away, Alim lay on a caravan cart, his head dripping from the jug of water he used to half drink/half wash himself after he was broken out of captivity. His chin rested on his crossed arms as he looked at her, smiling easily.

He was in need of a huge retelling of what happened while he had been captured and away, but at the moment all he wanted was some comfort, and to hear Anifaire speak. Or perhaps they were both one and the same? It didn’t matter, he was far too tired to try and philosiphize himself out of certain ways of thinking.

He dragged himself up, though his body felt like it weighed thrice what the normally lithe man was used to. Groaning, he hopped onto the sand and made his way to Anifaire, setting his rump down next to her. They hadn’t even talked about him kissing her yet either. Well, it would certainly come up soon, he believed.

“Alim,” Anifaire greeted, surprised. She’d thought about him throughout the journey, nervous, and faced with him now her face erupted with blush. She crossed her legs, shifting to better face him. Idly, she traced the sand around the circular bottle of wine, He had kissed her; she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought but couldn’t decide what he could possibly have meant by it.

“Oh, everything is… you’re all right, aren’t you? Being imprisoned…” After seeing him initially, the concern of injuries had slipped her mind, but he seemed so tired now.

Alim blinked, realized they both had their legs crossed and were looking at one another. He gave a small laugh. “I’m very good, thanks to you.” he told her with a smile. He did feel aches in far too many places. Blunt trauma and bruisings he had ignored over the past few days to get through the experience, but now everything hurt. But he also knew none of it was serious, though his back problems had come back a bit.

Somehow, even though he had been the one imprisoned, he was mostly worried about her. Probably because he had not seen her in a long time. “How are you? I mean, how have you been?” he asked, looking past the unkempt mass his hair had grown into, giving him a more wild, rugged look than his previous smooth, princely aura.

Anifaire felt relief that he confirmed his well-being, though it didn’t feel like she deserved much of the credit. At his question, she considered what to say; the state she had been in right after Gilane was awful, and she wasn’t sure how to talk about it. In the moment, she was simply glad he hadn’t seen her like that, and felt embarrassed.

“Gilane and… leaving… was difficult.” She didn’t want to lie, but the time was something she wanted to forget. “I was worried about you.” Trying to think of something positive to say, she blurted out: “I learned to make mashed potatoes.”

“I was worried about you t-...wait really?” he asked her. Normally he’d laugh, but she usually seemed to sheltered. She was learning new things! “That’s awesome Ani! How’d that happen? Who taught you?”

“Zaveed,” she answered blankly. The Khajit seemed strange, but not so bad, yet he’d done bad things. Her brow creased, thinking.

He smiled, and reached up to brush her cheek a bit with his fingers. “You’ve learned a lot since I was away.” He told her. Alim knew people, and he knew how to see different changes in them; subtle things only a keen eye could see. She seemed far wiser and more experienced. She had already been intelligent to begin with. “That’s the best thing you can do. Keep improving yourself, I mean.”

Anifaire smiled brilliantly, a flash of pride at everything she’d been through appearing. “Thank you…” She trailed off, looking down at the wine bottle she was playing with, tracing out the sand around it, hollowing out a hole. She blushed lightly, thinking of how he kissed her, but afraid to ask about it, she rambled amicably. “I think I like this desert now. Do you like the desert?”

Alim smiled and nodded. He knew she was nervous, and it was probably the most adorable thing he had witnessed in years. He kind of wanted to milk it, but he couldn’t help but reach for her dainty hand and hold it. His thumb rubbing the back of her hand caringly. “I do. I like it very much.” His dark eyes met hers.

She nearly jumped in surprise, muscles jolting lightly, but she didn’t want to pull away. She relaxed her shoulders, tightening her hand slightly. “It’s nice here.” She paused, nervous to look over at him, and tilted her head back to look up at the stars. Somehow, they seemed more plentiful in the desert. “Alim…” She wasn’t sure how to ask her question, but she wanted to kiss him again.

The redguard relaxed, feeling a quickening of his heart rate when she squeezed it. Even being as experienced in women as any, Anifaire always found a way to melt his heart. He looked up at the stars too, following her eyes. It was very beautiful up there. Like all of the jewels of the world had been plucked and placed in the sky.

“Yeah, Ani?”

It took her time to speak. Finally, after debating a few sentences in her head, the pressure she felt from leaving the silence hanging pushed her until she blurted out, “you kissed me.”

Alim’s eyes opened wide, both out of surprise and sudden fear that it had been the wrong thing to do. He knew women and he could tell she liked him, but he had just been so happy to see her and to have busted out of the cell. “Sorry…” he said, deflating a bit. “I was just...No, there’s no excuse. I apologize.” he remarked, unable to tell how she would react next.

Anifaire’s jaw loosened in surprise, frowning quickly. She raised an arm, gesturing with it as she spoke hurriedly. “No! Um-” She paused. “I didn’t mean that I didn’t… I was just... surprised you wanted to kiss me.” She stopped, nervous he would think she wanted him to leave her alone, and her hand dropped back down to her lap.

“I thought we were um…” he didn’t know how to react to this. She was obviously far more worldly since last they spoke. But she still seemed a bit sheltered, and he wasn’t sure how to approach this. “I thought we were getting closer? I...simply wanted to. Have you ever felt that before? The desire to kiss someone? It’s nice, right?”

His brow raised and he gave her a charming grin, though there was an obvious warmth to it. “You know if you wanted to, we could kiss again?”

Anifaire slowly broke out into a smile. She toyed with the hem of her shirt nervously, but nodded in agreement.

“I would like that,” she said quietly. Her head tilted down, she had butterflies in her stomach. “I was only worried you only thought… you were only being friendly to me to be nice, or…”

Alim smiled, chuckling at such an intelligent and beautiful woman being so sheltered. He reached up to grab a handful of lush elven hair gently, and he kissed her. With his other hand, he cupped her cheek. He’d never had a woman need to lean down to kiss him, but he found he didn’t mind.

She never thought she would be kissing someone who wasn’t an Altmer, she realized, though it didn’t occur to her until she noticed how she had to lean down. That expectation, she realized, wasn’t something she particularly cared about.

No, kissing Alim turned out to be perfect. As seconds trickled by, her muscles relaxed, and she leaned over closer to Alim, her hand digging into the soft, cool sand. The desert was lovely by night, she decided. It had grown on her.

High Society Girls


@LadyTabris & @Stormflyx

Alik’r Desert, Oasis
Late afternoon, 15th of Midyear, 4E208





Alim was gone. Taken to a prison. It was completely unbelievable, and no matter how hard Raelynn had tried to distract herself with other things, everytime her mind stopped, she thought of Alim and a painful knot formed inside her stomach that was tight enough to about make her vomit. Now was one of those moments, her hands were shaking and she was alone. There was nothing going on for her to involve herself with. She didn’t really want to talk to anyone in particular again, she’d been doing the rounds enough. She felt like crying. The knot was working it’s way up through her throat, choking her.

She heard a soft clatter somewhere in the distance that caught her attention enough to push the knot back down, she turned her head sharply to see what had caused the noise, and her eyes found the sight of the Altmer girl, Anifaire, stumbling around over her tent which had collapsed. “Anifaire…” she whispered softly. She would be feeling rotten too. She and Alim, were they an item? Raelynn bit down on her lip and made her way over to the girl with soft footsteps as always, “Anifaire, do you need some help?” she asked, placing a gentle hand on the Altmer’s shoulder comfortingly. The sadness over Alim had not left her system and being confronted with Anifaire did nothing to quell it’s presence. “Anifaire, are you okay?”

“I… I can’t keep this tent upright. Sevari helped me… but I knocked into it so much in my sleep that it’s tipped over, I guess,” Anifaire muttered, speaking with frustration, almost more directed at the tent than Raelynn. The tent was indeed a bit askew again, too small in size for someone of Anifaire’s height.

“Hmmm, Gregor put up our tent so I can’t say I know much about fixing one, but I’m sure us two women can manage it. There’s not a lot we can’t do when we put our minds to a task.” The mage gave Anifaire’s arm a quick squeeze before bending over to pick up the cloth of the tent. “Take the other corner, we’ll fold this and then get the structure up first. We can do this!” A mundane task was what they both needed, she decided.

Anifaire nodded, ready to go to work. The task was focusing her attention and she had been holding up so far that morning, though she could feel the edge of despair waiting for her to topple back into it at any time. She grabbed the fabric, folded it over, and nodded to Raelynn. “Thank you,” she said, as they worked. She felt like she was needing help at every turn.

She couldn’t help but feel the weight of the mammoth in the room, Alim, and as she began to peg in the first of the structural rods for the tent, she cast a long glance at Anifaire. “I miss him too, and I’m worried…” She swallowed back a lump in her throat. “Can’t believe the clod got himself caught…” the peg took the brunt of her anger and she smacked it in with force. At least it wouldn’t budge now.

Anifaire straightened the pole she was working with, imagining the way Sevari had fixed it before. “I can’t believe he’s gone…” Anifaire trailed off. The emptiness she had been struggling with since finding out and seeing those awful things was back, and she embraced it. She didn’t want to cry in front of Raelynn. “Do you think he’s really at this prison we’re heading to?” What if it’s the wrong prison? she’d been worrying.

The mage thought on it for a moment, she had no way of being completely certain. “I don’t know, I hope he is. It seems the most logical thing to have happened though, doesn’t it?” she asked with a reassuring smile as she thwacked in the next peg on her side. “You know, Alim is the reason I am even here. He saved my life in the Imperial City!” Raelynn crawled over to Anifaire’s side, and placed a comforting hand on her thigh, “I’m quite sure he’ll be alright, and when we free him we’ll scold him for having been caught.” She laughed slightly, trying to help the Altmer break her bad mood, or at least make her feel like she wasn’t alone.

“I hope he will be,” Anifaire replied. Her companion’s efforts to comfort her were welcome, and she was glad for them, though she didn’t feel any more cheerful. “I doubt I’ll be much help.” She adjusted the first peg and whacked it as hard as she could, repeating the action a few times for good measure. She hoped it was more secure than the first time she’d set it up. “He gets himself captured and I can’t even do anything about it.”

Raelynn’s entire expression narrowed at Anifaire’s confession, and her hand made its way to her back. “Whatever do you mean? Where are these thoughts coming from?” she asked. Truthfully, she knew very little about the Altmer, she had heard she was something of a mage but she hadn’t herself seen it. Still, it flattened her spirit to hear her speak like that about herself.

“Well, I can only do Alteration magic, mostly, and it doesn’t seem to help anybody with anything,” she replied. The thoughts poured out of her, upon finally hearing someone else was affected by Alim’s capture, she started to finally express how she felt in full. “I can’t fight, I can’t heal, I can’t sneak.” She sighed. “I just lack any skill at this life, I think.”

The Breton laughed at the Altmer, but without any ill-intent behind it. “Oh Anifaire, the only thing you lack is confidence.” Raelynn said with a smile, “I can't fight, I can't sneak, I can't use alteration magic either! But, what has gotten me through my life is confidence.” She sighed, letting her laughter trail off. “If you were as lacking as you are trying to have me believe, you would not have gotten this far in life now, would you?”

Anifaire smiled at her effort, and whacked the next peg with all her strength. “I suppose I have come rather far. Here we are, with sand in places it shouldn’t be, putting up a tent that’s been set up twice already.” She laughed lightly, feeling embarrassed at how her thoughts had flowed out.

“Oh, I’m glad it’s not just me feeling the sand in all the wrong places,” she laughed, attempting to put Anifaire at ease. She’d never have said such a thing to anyone else, but it felt right to do so with her. She hadn’t really noticed before, but Anifaire had an air of high society about her. Maybe that was because she had her own nose so high, she had missed the Altmer entirely.

“You know,” she began, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “I’ve gotten this far in life because I tell myself that this is my world and you’re all simply living in it,” there was confidence in her tone and a spark in her eyes that suggested that yes, this absolutely was her world. “That’s confidence.” She snapped her fingers dramatically and seriously.

Anifaire believed it. The confidence Raelynn held herself with was impressive. She smiled. “Someday,” she said, a tinge of hopefulness that would’ve have been there earlier in the day present. Anifaire hadn’t felt like herself in several days, as though her body moved without conscious direction and her words were not her own. She considered Raelynn’s words; she couldn’t fight either, and when she considered it, Judena was also an Alteration mage and no one treated her as any less. She needed to pull herself together.

“Thank you for your help,” she said, gesturing to the tent. At any level of distress, Anifaire would never forget her manners.

Raelynn smiled, but her gaze was somewhere off in the distance - as it happened, she had suddenly allowed ‘high society’ thoughts to creep into her mind. It all seemed like such a world away to where she was now, she flipped the cloth of the tent over on the pegs with a daydreamers smile. “Do you miss it Anifaire?” she asked with a dreamy sigh, “luxury and comfort…?”

“I do miss lots of things,” she replied immediately. She allowed thoughts of home, the positive things, to fill her mind. A warm summer, reading on a balcony, fresh fruits and cheeses nearby, or swimming in the ocean near her family’s villa, a closet of clothes to choose from. “Yes, I miss it… It would be delightful to be resting in a chair with a book in hand, with as much wine and fruit as I could ask for. A… preferable atmosphere to this desert cave, but I think it has its charms as well.” She thought of the time in Cyrodiil after the Imperial City, skipping meals at a time, afraid to bother anyone.

She groaned out at the very mention of fruit and wine. “Tell me about it, I long to sit on the balcony of my parents home, overlooking the ocean, platters of food, a good book. You’re right.” If she thought on it hard enough, she could smell the ocean air and the gentle wafts of heavenly bread rolls rolling around the air on a carefree breeze. “I hope to never have to sleep on the floor of a cave again after this is all done.” She laughed at herself, pulling the cloth taught around the pegs on her side. “Soft beds and softer blankets for me in my future…”

The description of home was strikingly familiar to her, similar in a lot of ways to her own, and she was surprised to find such a similarity with someone who wasn’t from the Summerset Isles. Anifaire hovered over her next words, a question she’d been asking herself coming to mind. She wondered if someone else’s perspective would be different. “Why do you travel? I mean… why don’t you go back?”

Raelynn looked up as she was asked, as if the answer was somewhere in the clouds. “I wanted adventure… To do something different and make a name for myself, my own way. To be honest, it has been some years since I visited home. It is nice to go there once in a while, but… I am torn to Skyrim too. I do my work there, so it’s also home in a way. Far less luxurious, but… I at least have a bed! What about you? What brought you here?”

“I was tired of only reading books and never seeing anything with my own eyes,” Anifaire replied. She had never expected it to be so bloody, or so terrifying. Perhaps that was what you could expect when drawing expectations from books. Yet, there was something she still couldn’t figure out about why she stayed out in the world when she could return to the comfort of home. “I didn’t expect it to be like this.”

“I certainly didn't either. That was my first visit to the Imperial City… I wanted a break. I got swept up in this, I wasn't in your expedition. Like I said, the only reason I'm here is because of Alim… Everything I have is because of him…” she smiled and glanced at Gregor, the smile could not be hidden from her face. “He's been a good friend to me… He really likes you, you know?”

Anifaire blushed, a small jump in her chest. She shrugged, unable to hold back a small smile. “Do… you think?” She scratched the back of her neck. “He is a good friend… he saved me from some thieves once, actually.” She felt a twinge of anger at the thought that now he was captured and the one in need of help, the small flash breaking through the despair and helplessness she felt about the situation. She grabbed it, glad to feel something different. “We need to get him out.”

“Ummm, I don’t think -- I know.” Raelynn remarked as she drew closer to Anifaire with a playful narrowing of her eyes. “He told me so himself. He said that you’re cute, kind, and wonderfully mesmerising” she said, embellishing on what it was Alim had actually said. She couldn’t quite recall, there had been alcohol involved. “Oh, and then he did this;” she sat up straight, and shook her shoulders, as if to get into Alim’s skin momentarily. In her absolute best impression of the rogue, she ran her hands through her hair and bit her lip, looking at Anifaire as if from afar admiringly. She laughed and snapped back to herself.

A surprised smile lit Anifaire’s face. She watched Raelynn’s impression with a slight laugh, covering her mouth in an effort to hide how embarrassed she felt. “He really said that?” she asked, disbelief in her tone. “I thought he was just… being friendly…” She really hadn’t considered that Alim thought she was cute, or interesting, simply thinking that he would be more interested in, well, someone more adventurous.

’Friendly’... yes, he’s being friendly,” she laughed, fastening the last of the cloth over the peg, smacking it once more to secure it. “You’re gentle, smart, and dainty. These are things he finds attractive in you because he probably thinks he can protect you and take care of you. He likes to sweep the ladies off their feet and make them feel special… He doesn’t want to be overly challenged by...” she thought long and hard on the right word, “by some untameable daredevil of a woman!” She smirked.

Raelynn moved over to sit at the opening of the tent now that it was up, she hoped it would stay upright. “So if you like him, just take him already! That’s what I did. I knew from the second I saw Gregor that I wanted him, so I waited for my moment, and I took him.” She gave a smug smile and an almost dirty laugh. It was said so matter-of-factly that Raelynn made it seem like the task was as easy as breathing to her. “Us ladies of high society always get what we want…”

“You’re making it sound easy,” Anifaire said. She felt less embarrassed about the conversation topic as it went on, and her posture relaxed as they finished with the tent. She gave it a test nudge and it seemed secure. She joined Raelynn in front of it, a thoughtful expression on her face. The things she said made some sense, and were part of the reasons she liked Alim as well. Perhaps she was right and she should say something to him. If they broke him out of prison, she supposed, feeding the twinge of anger that flared up again. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Well, when you see him again, just see how you feel. Let the moment do the talking.” The Breton gave the Altmer another smile, a reassuring one this time. “That anger that you’re feeling? Use it. Use it when we go to get him back…” She turned her face to look at Anifaire, she could sense that she was still deeply unsettled. “Let that start the fire in you to do what must be done.”

Anifaire nodded thoughtfully. The anger was preferable to despair, and perhaps feeding it would give her some type of strength. “I… will,” she agreed. She smiled. “I hope we leave soon. I don’t anticipate another desert journey, but it will… be worth it.” Uncertain, she tried to convince herself with determined words. “Thank you, Raelynn.”

Second Meeting

14th Midyear, 4E208

When Anifaire finally gained the energy to crawl out of her misshapen tent, her dried tears having left a tight feeling on her skin, the sky had darkened. The camp was lit by campfires and torchlight, a good number of people still awake, eating or talking. She huddled on the moss outside her tent, arms hugging her legs to her chest. She knew she should go eat, but lacked the appetite. Her body felt numb. She dunked a rag in the small bucket of water she’d collected and forgotten about, wiping dried tears, sweat, and dirt from her face and arms, hoping the action would improve her spirits.

She dragged her boots off her feet, digging her toes into the cool moss but feeling none of the satisfaction she had expected at the action. She idly wondered how moss grew through such sandy dirt. It must be a different type of moss, she assumed, to grow in such hard climates. It was even a different shade from the moss she was used to. Like the fabric in her clothes, which was a different make from Alinor styles. Softer, even. She thought she might prefer it.
This was a room full of strangers. The only ones here that liked him were the very ones that would hurt his goal of reintegrating if he talked to them. This wasn’t the time to keep to his little trio, and the process of getting back in Aries’ good graces had begun. When he heard the muffled sounds of crying, he cocked his brow, looking for its source. Not exactly to console it, but actively avoid it. He wasn’t good with that type of thing. But he hung back, the familiarity of it rooting his feet to his spot.

He thought he remembered…
“Oh, come on Celsa,” the other Redguard stalled, the most sober of the group. “She didn’t take your husband, she’s not even a Dwemer.”

“Shut up,” Celsa grumbled. “Altmer are just as bad.”

She stepped over to Anifaire, stepping on her hand without even noticing. Anifaire grunted and shoved her leg with her free arm to force her to move, but Celsa’s size overwhelmed her. She kicked her in the gut, Anifaire descending into spluttered coughs.

“You’re drunk, Celsa,” the other Redguard insisted, but Celsa and the others ignored her. Another man stepped up, walking over to join Celsa. He grabbed Anifaire by the arm and roughly pulled her to her feet. She stumbled, fighting the nausea in her stomach and how winded she was, but he held her upright.

Then he remembered the Altmer girl. Those sobs sounded the same. It felt like an instinct in him, almost. Hell, it felt like an instinct to him that night, long ago.. when the world seemed simpler for him.

Him against all of it...
“This isn’t your fight.” He muttered. “This is not your fight. You saw nothing.”

He turned to walk away but the high and cruel laughter of one of them stopped him in his tracks. He sighed, reaching for his badge but deciding to keep it where it was. He wasn’t going to do this in the name of the Dwemer. His slow and sure footsteps brought him to the scene. “Hello, friends.”

Even as the sobbing stopped, he was telling himself the same thing. That this wasn’t his responsibility. This wasn’t his fight. That he could step away and she wouldn’t have even known he was standing outside.

But he knew how that worked out last time…
Sevari looked at the biggest of them, a woman almost as thick with muscle and blessed with height as he was. He knew who to start with. She opened her mouth and the words came pouring out like vomit, slurry and crack-voiced, but mocking all the same, “Who’re you?”

Sevari snorted something into his face and spat it off to the side, “The consequences.”

He lunged forward and chopped into her throat with a hard knife-hand.

“Damn it.” He muttered.

He went back to the stagecoach they’d all formed their alliance over and grabbed two metal cups. He walked to the Oasis, scooping up two cupfuls of the water before checking to see if Anifaire was still there. When she was, he sighed, gathering strength. Once he convinced himself nobody was going to stab him for coming near the little girl.

He found himself beside her, though she might not have noticed him yet. Even so, he offered the cup he’d filled for her, “It’s just water.” He said, “Do you remember me?”

The blank look on Anifaire’s face didn’t change. Her eyes were puffy and red, but now dried. She looked at her new companion for a few moments, recognition registering in her mind but her face slow to catch up.

She nodded slowly a few times, recalling the night she’d gone to the cultural centre in Gilane and stayed too late into the night...
“Where do you stay?” Sevari asked, lighting a cigar he’d produced from the inside of his coat pockets and a flame he willed to life on the tip of his finger, “I can walk you back, at least.”

Anifaire was shocked by the encounter. She barely registered the time from when she was being attacked by the drunkards to when she stood there in front of the stranger who had saved her. The calm quiet enveloped the street, and though it was comforting and it took a few confused moments for her to find her tongue.

“Thank you,” she replied first, straightening her clothes. “I’m, uh, staying at the Three Crowns.”

“Yes,” she replied. She took the cup and took a large gulp of the fresh water. It seemed to wake her up a little bit. “Thank you.”

She stared down at the cup, swirling the clear liquid idly. She knew his name now, Sevari, though she hadn’t known when she first met him. Things had been simpler; she’d had few concerns, wandering Gilane as though the Dwemer weren’t a problem at all.

She’d been so stupid...
“Some people find any reason, no matter how brittle, to sate some type of aggression if the original perpetrator isn’t there. People are fickle bastards.” He said, “An author from High Rock, he once said ‘the world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I only agree with the second part. I’m sorry we had to meet like this, Miss Mirlinde.”

“So am I,” Anifaire replied. In her mind, Alinor was a peaceful place, a haven, but it seemed people on the outside didn’t see it that way. She wondered if parts of Alinor looked like some of the things she had seen since leaving, with poverty, or refugees like Skingrad, or drunkards. It seemed like a Utopia, but she was no longer sure she remembered it accurately, and wondered what her perspective had changed. “But,” she paused, struggling to string her thoughts into a phrase that construed the meaning, “some things are wonderful, I mean, there are…”

The world didn’t feel beautiful or wonderful at that moment, yet she remembered good people, like Nanine lending her clothes, or Calen giving her a place to sleep, or this stranger helping her get away. “There is kindness, at least.”

The words seemed hollow and far away from her now. After all, some of that kindness was taken from her, Alim imprisoned, and she was lost, unable to fight for it.

Sevari nodded, keeping quiet for a bit. Should he tell her he heard her? He decided to cut a middle path and veil the fact he had heard her bawling, “You seem troubled, Miss Mirlinde.” He said, “What bothers you?”

“Oh,” she said. It took her a moment to realize how terrible she probably looked, puffy eyes and messy hair, her bun having come undone and her waist-length hair tumbling around her in knots. She’d need to find a brush. Unsure where to start, she looked down into the cup again. “Well. They captured Alim.”

Sevari’s eyebrows went up at that. The others seemed distraught at their friends’ capture, but Anifaire seemed completely destitute and destroyed. He had to be important to her then. He knew how he felt when he heard Gregor almost took his brother from him, took his soul. He wanted to take Gregor’s head and dangle it by a fistful of hair in front of Raelynn as she screamed in horror, right before he split her skull.

But he couldn’t do that now. Latro wouldn’t like that. Nor would anybody here. And he doubted Anifaire held such malice and violence within her. Thankfully, for her. “I see,” he began, gesturing with his cup to Latro and Sora’s tent, “Sora, she’s back because none of us would let her capture stand. We snatched her from the grip of Rourken, right from the Palace. I don’t think they’ll be able to keep Alim and the others from us.”

He nodded to her tent, which he guessed she put up herself. As best she could. “If I wouldn’t be stepping on your fingers, Miss Mirlinde, I could help you fix your tent.”

Anifaire nodded. Surely they would find him if the others were doing it, she thought, but her own incompetence kept her in a pit of helplessness. She took another sip of water.

“I… all right,” she agreed, turning to face the structure. She avoided touching it at each turn, worried it wouldn’t hold if she so much as moved some of the fabric. Embarrassment tinged her cheeks, knowing how obvious it was she had never set up a tent in her life. “Thank you.”

Sevari nodded, giving the girl a heartfelt smile before setting down his cup and getting to work. Of course, he did say he would help her, but helping really meant to step aside and let him do it while explaining. Come next time, they’d do it together, or she and Alim would. Speaking of learning, as he stepped back and grabbed up his cup again and appreciated the now tent-shaped tent, he turned to her.

“Miss Mirlinde,” he said, remembering the night in Gilane, “You’re living a rough life right now. You know what I’m willing to do to keep you safe, you know what these others are willing to do to protect one of their own.”

He frowned, trying to come up with a good case for himself to help her, “But say we run into the Ministry of Order again. Do you know Destruction magic? How to defend yourself, at least with your hands?”

“Fire,” she replied. “I can do flames.” That was the Destruction magic she knew, so she answered easily, even if the connotations of the question in this context were certainly different than a fellow student asking her knowledge in an area. She remembered the last and only time she had used them on a living being, toasting a Falmer next to Judena, and tried to imagine doing it to someone who didn’t appear monstrous. She couldn’t. She sighed.

“I’m not good at any of it. I can’t help. Judena was teaching me before, how to use telekinesis against...” She trailed off, recalling how she had done just that in the palace attack, and how that Dwemer had died as a result. Or perhaps he would’ve died without her distraction too, she thought, and she shouldn’t feel guilty, but she couldn’t convince herself.

He knelt down to her level, looking at the water they were near. He nodded when she explained herself and knew exactly what must have happened when she trailed off and refused to put that memory on the air. “Good.” He said, looking her in the eye, “That’s good, be glad. But you have to remember, Miss Mirlinde, that even if there is kindness in the world there are also people who are not so kind.”

He took a sip of his water and collected his thoughts, “I earned my skills to become strong. To make sure what happened to me never happens to anybody else.” It was partly a lie, but he clung to the parts of it that weren’t, “Sometimes, life and fate and whatever you believe in might shove you to stand against a challenge. Protect the ones you love, Miss Mirlinde, no matter how hard it is.”

He gave her a solemn smile, like a father to his learning child, “When you have fear, the best thing to do with it is make like you don’t have it.” He said, “That’s courage. To not let fear hold you still.”

That’s what she wanted to do, she thought: protect people she cared about. The world was different from her previous life of scholarly pursuit, and with new experiences had come a whole host of problems.

She was afraid to kill anybody, but she wasn’t sure how to put it into words. If she was afraid to defend herself, she wouldn’t be able to help. But, it wasn’t always defense, she thought, after all, they were headed to attack a prison now. It wasn’t only self-defense… but, there was Alim. She frowned.

“How?” she asked. “I’m afraid all the time.”

Sevari smiled, chuckling a bit. He leaned in close, making a show of looking around to make sure nobody was listening, “Do you want to know a secret, Miss Mirlinde?” He asked, “I have been terrified completely for most of my life. I’ve been alone and scared and vulnerable, unsure of myself, insecure. Could you tell?”

“I… no? No.” She looked at him with doubt. Afraid was perhaps one of the last things she could imagine Sevari being, after all, she’d seen him scare off those Redguards who had accosted her without a second thought.

Sevari looked into his cup, swirling the water with a sad smile, “I am. I was afraid when I lived in Elsweyr, I was afraid when the Bhaanu Sasra took me away from Zaveed and his sister.” He sighed, “I was afraid for the next 20 years after. Leading a bandit gang, being an assassin and bodyguard for skooma syndicates in Valenwood. Through all of that, I learned to just throw myself at problems.”

He nodded, taking a sip then, “I learned that fear can be traded. When you act like you have no fear, the other person starts to wonder why you have none, fear the reasons you seem not to. All of a sudden, your fear is now his.” He shrugged, “But, enough talk of that. Would you like me to teach you the easy parts of defending yourself? Only if you want.”

She thought about it for a moment. Even if she was afraid to shoot fire at someone, imagining the burning, the scent, the disfigurement… defense couldn’t hurt. She wondered how the night they had met would’ve gone if she had been able of breaking out of the Redguard’s hold. That would be it, she thought, learning to defend, not how to…

“Defend myself,” she repeated, and took another drink of water. She couldn’t rid herself of the dry feeling in her throat since she had been crying. “All right. How?”

He got up to his feet, smoothing out his shirt as he spoke, “The easiest places to hit a person if you want them to leave you alone is their groin, neck, ears, nose and eyes. You stick with those and you’ll seldom find a person who won’t be given pause.”

Anifaire remained seated where she was, listening with growing attention. She nodded along. The Altmer thought the issue would be more complicated than aiming for the right place. She didn’t have the reflexes, for one, and had frozen when she was attacked in the past.

“It sounds hard,” she said. She took one last drink of her water, finishing the glass and setting it aside before standing up. She stepped away from her tent, a sudden fear of toppling into it occuring to her.

“It can be,” Sevari said, though he lent her a reassuring nod and smile, “It is, truth be told. But it’s better to just do something than live forever in the fear of doing it.”

“But, well, I’m not going to force you to learn.” He smiled, “But any time, you can come to me, Miss Mirlinde.”

“Thank you,” Anifaire said. She fiddled with the hem of her clothes again, considering the offer. Imagining striking someone in the face, she had no idea if she would ever be capable. “I’ll remember.”
Mashed Potatoes

Tabby and Dervs

15th Midyear, 4E208
Oasis, Alik'r Desert
Early morning, after sunrise...


Zaveed knelt by the riverbank, the sunlight just barely bringing in some much needed light into the cavern as he held his elvish dagger, looking down the blade and frowning at the faint stain in the moonstone he’d been unable to remove for some time. Who would have guessed after all of these years, it would have been his own blood that tainted the finish of the blade? He’d find a way to clean the damned thing, that was for sure. It didn’t diminish the integrity of the blade, but it felt like a blight on his very soul.

A gasp of pain sounded behind him, closer to the cooking tent than he was. The Khajiit turned to look and saw the Altmer girl holding her bloodied palm, a knife on the ground near where she was sitting. He shook his head, standing up and walking over to her. “May I be of assistance?” he asked, gesturing to the hand. Without waiting for consent, he grabbed a bottle of rum that was sitting on one of the benches and some clean linen wraps, usually used for protecting food from the elements and bugs that had yet to make their way out of the packaging.

“What’s your name? You’ve been very meek and quiet since I’ve first laid eyes on you. I am Zaveed… you probably already knew that.” he said with a kind smile.

Anifaire’s eyes widened in surprise, the potato and knife abandoned on the ground. The numbness she had been feeling recently was receding, but whatever reaction of fear she might have had at the Khajit’s approach was dampened. She pain blossoming in her palm was a distraction; she barely looked up to observe him.

“Yeah… I’m Anifaire,” she said. She thought for a moment - Zaveed, who’s she had heard plenty of mutterings about in recent times. She wondered if she should be avoiding him, or afraid of him, but she didn’t really care. He was there, and there was nothing she could do about it if she wanted to.

“May I?” he asked, kneeling in front of her and indicating to her hand. When she nodded in consent, looking fairly nervous all the while, he pulled the cork out of the rum bottle and gently took her hand. “This will sting considerably, but it will prevent the skin from becoming infected.” he told her gently. “If you wish, bite down on something, grip my arm or shoulder, but it will only be a few moments. Are you prepared?” he asked.

Anifaire shrugged, imagining a bug bite or the current sting of the cut, but she did realize it had to be cleaned. If she’d gotten a scratch or bump in her youth, a few drops of healing potions had been easy to spare from her father’s stores. She nodded at him to proceed, her spare hand covering her clenched jaw.
When he poured the substance onto her cut, the burning sensation took her entirely by surprise, despite the warnings. A choked noise escaped from the back of her throat and she jerked her arm away, shaking the injured hand to rid it of the offensive liquid. She couldn’t believe that people drank such a vile thing, for enjoyment.

And Zaveed did just that, taking a swig of the rum with a chuckle before popping the cork back into place. He gestured for her to return the hand to him so he could bandage it. “On a ship, you oftentimes didn’t have the potions you needed, but alcohol was never in short supply.” he explained, delicately, but firmly, wrapping the linens tightly about her palm. A bit of crimson soaked through the first two or three passes until he had her hand sufficiently covered. Taking his blade, he cut the linen short and tied it off. “And there we are, all done.” the privateer promised, releasing her hand. “I’m sure someone can brew you a healing potion to mend your skin, or use restoration magic, but this will hold for the time being. He promised. “Forgive me for being so forward, my dear, but you do not seem to be the type who is familiar with this sort of lifestyle, as if it’s bewitching to you.”

“I think I’ve seen more healing potions than alcohol,” she muttered. “But, no, I’m not accustomed to this life.” There was certainly no statement truer than that. She eyed his blade as he worked, elven make, certainly familiar, and reminiscent of the dagger her own father had once given her. Though she got the sense that the man across from her was certainly more effective with his than she ever had been with hers. After all, he probably took it off someone’s body, she thought, looking at it with an unsettled expression.

“Your accent, Alinor… I want to say Cloudrest or Skywatch?” he asked, catching her gaze at his blade. He pulled it from the sheath, and with a flourish, offered it to her, hilt first. “There’s an air of recognition here, I think.”

“Alinor, actually,” she replied, wondering how one managed such a sense of geography. Hesitantly, she took the blade, turning it over in her hands. It was indeed similar, with a few differences. It had a glimmering sapphire hilt, even more ornate than the one she’d lost in the Imperial City had been. “I used to have something similar. From my father.” She hesitated. “Where did you get this?”

“I am… was a Dominion privateer. Has the name Captain Greywake ever crossed your travels? I’ve been to Summerset quite often, a beautiful place, simply wondrous. It’s a shame the Thalmor are in charge; the arrogance can be suffocating.” Zaveed explained, studying Anifaire’s face. He gestured to the blade. “That was presented to me to officially declare my station and service to the Dominion, protecting Her Majesty’s seas, and maybe do a few things she would frown upon if she found out.”

“Oh…” His words seeped into her mind slowly. A… privateer? She looked at the blade again. “I don’t recall. My father mentioned a lot of people, but I don’t think I listened very closely. He’s… Thalmor,” she added. Like everyone she’d known, really. “You… sailed a ship for the Dominion?” The thought was so strange to her. Sure, she’d seen plenty of Khajiit and Bosmer around Alinor - not that she’d ever spoken to one - but considering them being part of the Dominion was strange to her. The Dominion was her father, his friends, the people she saw at her mother’s school. Her eyebrows creased.

“Of course. Mostly Khajiit and Bosmer, but there were a few Altmer willing to put aside racial pride for a chance at glory, or a lack of a better place to go.” The Khajiit shrugged. “Made port in Senchal, prowled up and down the coasts from there to the Northern end of Valenwood, occasionally beyond. It was my duties to make sure that the seaways were safe for Dominion vessels and do more off the books raids and attacks that the Navy was forbidden from taking part in during peacetime. It’s like government-sanctioned piracy. “My sister serves as a bodyguard and captain for a Thalmor emissary, Erincaro Syiantar?” Zaveed said, posing it more of a question to see if the name was familiar to Anifaire.

Anifaire shrugged. “My sister would know. I never paid attention,” she added with a bit of a sigh. She recalled the times her parents spoke of politics, and how often she would ignore those particular conversations. Alindril, on the contrary, always engaged with passion. Her father had been proud of her, handing out responsibilities, special training, military positions and Alindril took it all in stride. She broke out of her reminiscence, turning her attention back to Zaveed, shrugging slightly.

“So, how did you end up getting involved with this lot?” Zaveed asked suddenly, curious as how an Alinor born and raised girl who probably never left her home island until she ended up in her present circumstances wound up in a cave in the middle of the Alik’r Desert, standing out like a sore thumb. “The others, I can understand, but you seem quite uncomfortable and bewildered by all of this.” he said, picking up her knife and wiping it clean before setting it down and finding another to continue peeling potatoes for Anifaire. “Is the rest of the world what you thought it was?”

She paused, realizing she wasn’t sure if there was anything he shouldn’t know. “Well, I study… I studied the Dwemer. It started with an archaeological dig.” She fussed with the sleeve of her shirt. “I don’t know what I was expecting when I left, a change I suppose, something with less monotony... but not this.” If there was anything she was certain of, that was it. “There’s far fewer books out here,” she commented. “I don’t think I could go back anymore.”

“No?” Zaveed asked, raising an eye ridge. “Because you’ve grown, or it would be hard to accepted back by your family?” he asked.

“How does your studies compare to the real thing? I admit, I didn’t think much of long-extinct races of elves, but recent events made me wish I paid a bit more attention to the stories. It was an unexpected surprise, and not a welcome one.” Zaveed explained, placing the peeled potato on a fresh cloth. “If it helps, I can teach you a few practical skills to make your time a bit less difficult? Bit by bit, turn you into a proper adventurer.” he said with an encouraging grin.

“I think… both. I don’t think I could go back to a... complacent life. I know they’d take me, but I don’t think…” she thought of Alim again, losing her train of thought. “It couldn’t be the same,” she summarized, and shifted the topic: “The Dwemer fascinated me at first. I used to sit and watch them.” Suddenly, it struck her who she was talking to again, but the strangeness of the situation was so much so that she let it roll past her. “I think I’m just angry with them now.”

She wrung her hands together, watching the potatoes. “I don’t even know how to cook,” she admitted. “I’ve never done it before.”

“I cannot fault you for your anger, Anifaire. I was pressed into serving them against my will. Well, my will to live overrode my desire to not be the pawn of some Deep Elves, but here we are, trying to make amends.” Zaveed replied with a shrug. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it is good you are having these experiences, meeting people you normally would have never spoken with. It will only help you grow and form your own opinions about the world and who you want to be, not what a rigid society wants you to be.”

He held up the potato for her to observe. He turned it over, pulling the knife through the potato into his palm. “This is the classic mistake, and likely what caught you. Lesson one, never cut toward yourself. If it suddenly gives way, or you slip, you may cut yourself. Instead,” he turned it over, drawing the blade through the other side, clear of his fingers and body. “Away from you. A rule of any blade is the cutting edges go outward, where they cannot harm you. Axe, sword, knife, anything. Now, for peeling a vegetable, you want shallow angles, like so.”

The Khajiit took one half of the potato and placed the blade slightly under the skin and slowly drew it across, lifting it up, only taking the bare minimum of flesh from the vegetable. He repeated it again, slowly, so the Altmer’s eyes could follow. “Like so, until there skin is gone, then you can do all manner of things. Mash it, dice it, boil it. It’s quite a versatile vegetable. Now, your turn.” He said, handing the knife back with the other unpeeled half of the potato. “Just like I showed you.”

Anifaire had thought that once too, back in Gilane, that she was trying new things, meeting new people, but it didn’t seem to matter at the moment. She couldn’t peel a potato, let alone help Alim. She was no good at this life.

Still, she accepted the knife and the potato back, her hand tender from the cut. Peeling the potato in the opposite direction was a bit more awkward for her, and her progress was slower, but she tried to take her time instead of peeling with the frustration she’d felt before, slowly chipping away at the potato.

“I was hoping to mash it,” she muttered, thinking about how she’d eaten them previously, mouth watering at the thought. Cooking for herself was never something she thought she’d do. Her eyes wandered over to Zaveed briefly, pondering what she’d heard about him. He didn’t seem particularly threatening, capable, sure, but not exactly malicious. But after all, they were just sitting in a cavern full of people. Peeling the next potato, Anifaire felt as though she was getting a little bit better at the actions, and felt a twinge of satisfaction, but the hopelessness came back.

“Good, you’re doing well.” The Khajiit said encouragingly as he patiently watched Anifaire work. “It’s just like that. Let me get a bowl and a pestle, we can do that, if you’d like, and some spices.” He promised, standing suddenly to gather those things. He found some pepper, garlic powder and mustard seed, as well as a pan with a wooden handle and a wooden spoon. “These will do, I think. Please, continue.” he said, kneeling across from her like before. He caught her eye, and he wasn’t sure what was going through her mind at this point, but he thought he’d mention something on his mind. “I’m surprised how accepting you are of me.” he admitted, his hands on his lap. “I don’t know if it helps, but my intentions here are genuine. I would like to make amends, if for no other reason than to keep the rest of this journey focused away from distrust.”

“I don’t know what to think of you,” she said honestly. She eyes the spices, feeling a tiny flicker of happiness spark inside her, and she almost smiled. “Everyone says bad things about you.” She hadn’t considered the words before she said them, and as soon as they came out she paused. “I- that was rude.” She considered the things she’d heard and wondered if maybe she was supposed to be rude.

“No, please, speak your mind.” Zaveed said encouragingly with a warm smile. “Trust me, I’ve heard a number of unflattering things at my expense, and I’ll be the first to admit what your friends have said about me, most of it’s true. Perhaps exaggerated through a lens of hatred and loathing, but I have done wrong by them. It was not long ago you were all my enemies, and I had thought you terrorists, harming innocents as misguided ‘freedom fighters’. I will not apologize for what I’d done, or who I am, but that was yesterday. What matters is my intentions today, tomorrow, and the next.” he explained calmly, setting the materials out in an orderly fashion as he placed the peeled potatoes in the bowl. “I tell you these things because I want you to understand that I am sincere when I say that I do not wish harm to any of you, and I will fight for your cause as long as I am here. You and me, sitting here peeling potatoes, this is real, genuine.” he shrugged. “It is a skill your father or mother should have taught you… not that I would know what that was like.” he chuckled.

He didn’t exactly seem like she would’ve pictured him from what she’d heard before, like some villain in a children’s story. He was just sitting here peeling potatoes and she couldn’t quite picture anything else. Her apathetic mood had her not wanting to contemplate it.

“I don’t think my father or my mother know how to peel potatoes,” she said. “I’ve never seen either of them do anything like that. They taught me magic. Reading. Math. And I had tutors...”

“Hard to believe that the Altmer were the ones to command the Dominion armies into encircling and besieging the Imperial City, hm?” Zaveed said, conversationally. “You can command armies, but the kitchen remains as arcane as any magic school. Imagine that.” the Khajiit grinned, taking another potato from Anifaire into the bowl. “See, all of that is great and all if you’re never planning on leaving a classroom, but I can tell you’re miserable because you feel so out of place. Imagine how you’d feel if you felt like you were contributing positively to everyone here.” he reached over, placing a reassuring hand on her knee. “And that isn’t a slight against you. You do not know what you do not know, and there is no shame in that. What matters is the willingness to learn and grow. Already, you’re one step closer to being able to prepare meals for your friends. Food is something that makes everyone happy, and you’ll never have to depend on another to decide what you’re going to eat or how to make it.”

She wondered if her father had indeed had any hand in decisions like that, which he almost certainly had. She’d never thought about it before.

“Cooking,” she agreed, moving her knife with improving skill. Food is something that makes everyone happy. She nodded to herself; that made sense. It did. It made her happy. But it wouldn’t get Alim out of prison, and that thought dampened her brief good thoughts. “It’s not exactly… fighting.”

“If you’d like, I can also show you how to use that knife for more… malignant purposes.” Zaveed offered, searching for an appropriately soft enough term for it. “You’re a well educated highborn lady, that much is clear. I am not; I’m street trash who had to fight a lot to get where I am now, and I’ll leave it to you to decide who is in a better place.” he smiled. “I can’t teach you how to have a fighter’s intuition, or how to be aggressive, but I can teach you how to defend yourself and those you care about.”

“I just want Alim back,” she muttered, her hands stilling, half peeled potato abandoned. Her eyes dropped. She tried to imagine digging the small knife into a real person instead of a potato, but she couldn’t.

“I understand you all think he’s in that prison we’re going to. If that is the case, we shall find him.” Zaveed promised, closing her hand over the potato still in hand. “This is a hard lesson you’re going to have to learn and accept in your heart; you cannot dwell on things that were, or have yet to pass. Do not let your pain distract you from what you can do today. Tomorrow will come, whether or not we wish it to, so do not give up on what you can do now. Right now, your fight is learning how to prepare yourself a simple meal. Tomorrow, perhaps saving your paramour? One thing at a time.” he said softly. “Please, continue.”

She picked the potato back up, dragging the knife underneath the skin again. “He’s my friend,” she had to insist, a light pink colouring her cheeks. “But I hope we find him.” She wanted to insist that she couldn’t do any good, that was what ate her up, that she just couldn’t help. She kept quiet, focusing on each potato, because at least she could improve her skill at that. She was hungry, finally, after going so long without an appetite.

“Friend, then.” Zaveed agreed with a wink. When the potato was peeled, he placed it in the bowl with the others. He handed the bowl back to Anifaire, along with the first of the spices. “Now, take the spoon and start splitting apart the potatoes, and sprinkle a light coating of the pepper across the surface until it’s even. Not too much, a delicate touch. Then, begin to stir and turn over the mash.”

Anifaire nodded, trying to keep up. She began spicing the potatoes, thinking ahead to when she would be eating them. As she focused on what she was doing, she felt calmer than she had in the past day. Even all the bloodshed she had seen recently was beginning to fade in her mind. She was surprised to find she actually was enjoying cooking. “I should’ve tried doing this sooner,” she said.

“You just needed someone to show you.” Zaveed said with a smile. Once everything was properly mashed up, he helped add the other two spices and had her mix around a bit more. “Now the fun part,” he promised. “Take the pan, hold it by the handle, and hold it over the fire until the potatoes start to brown, and keep mixing them around like you were before until everything is a nice golden shade. Make sense?”

“Sure,” she agreed, wondering if she would burn herself. Nervously, she held out the pan, which was a bit heavy. She fumbled with it, nearly dropping the pan but catching it with her other hand before correcting how she was holding it. Her hand shook slightly. “Oops,” she mumbled. She scooted her seat closer to the fire, which helped a bit.

“Not bad.” Zaveed said, picking up a thick cloth to keep handy. “Remember, it’s going to get hot. If you need to grab it by anything other than the handle, protect yourself.” he cautioned. “Nice and close, like that. See how the potatoes are starting to steam?”

She imagined burning herself would happen before the potatoes were finished, just like she’d already cut herself. The potatoes were beginning to smell, and her stomach felt so empty. “Does this take long?” she asked.

“Only a few minutes, my dear. Just do not let it sit on one side for long.”

True to his word, Zaveed soon had the Altmer pull the pan away from the fire and set it down. With the spoon, he scooped it into the bowl he had set aside. “And there you are, you cooked something.” he said triumphantly, offering Anifaire her creation.

The looked at the dish with satisfaction. It actually smelled good, though she had expected something she had made herself to be nearly inedible, simply a form of sustenance. The eagerly took the first bite and found the dish to be surprisingly appetizing. She felt a bit embarrassed to have needed help with cooking while everyone else seemed to treat it as a simple chore.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. From what she’d heard, Zaveed was the last person she expected to help her.

“Of course. Now I can trick you into making me meals.” Zaveed teased with a wink. “Before long, you’ll be a natural. Just pay attention to others when they are doing it, or even ask if you can help. You might be surprised what you can do; you never know until you try. How do you feel?”

“I’m,” she paused. “I’m happy it tastes good.” She compared them to potatoes from home, and cooked over a campfire, maybe they weren’t the same quality, but they were reasonably tasty and she was hungry. She looked at Zaveed. “I suppose I only know how to cook potatoes, though,” she pointed out.

“One does not reach the top of a tower without taking each of its steps. Potatoes are one, who is to say what tomorrow’s is?” Zaveed pointed out with a shrug. “Life is a journey, and who we are is defined by small things that accumulate into something great. One day, you’ll see that great view, if only you keep taking those steps. Are you up for the challenge, Anifaire? If not, you can at least be proud that you’re eating something you created, not some servant somewhere. It’s what life is about.”

Anifaire thought about that for a moment. Perhaps, she could help whoever decides to cook in the next days and learn something else.

“Thank you,” she said. She couldn’t help wondering how someone who seemed so… normal had actually tortured her friends, and killed that man from the ship. And in this case, he was correct; potatoes were a small step, and maybe she would have to do everything in small steps.

“My pleasure.” Zaveed said, standing at last and brushing himself off. “Just remember; cut away from yourself, keep food moving to keep it from burning. Apply those lessons everywhere they show up, and you’ll do well.” he said, stretching out his arms. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve a need to maintain my body so we can be daring heroes and rescue our respective friends, yes? Come find me if you want a lesson of a more dangerous persuasion.” With a theatrical bow, the Cathay walked off towards his bedroll, working out a kink in his shoulder while humming a strange tune.

Anifaire lifted another bite of potatoes to her mouth, her strange distraction gone. She had never expected to really encounter Zaveed, after the two groups joined, and he was even farther from what she’d expected. She struggled to reconcile the encounter she had moments ago with the whispers she heard from others in her group, but her emotions began to fade back into the apathy Zaveed interrupted and she stopped thinking about anything but enjoying her potatoes.
stop


14th Midyear, 4E208
Oasis, Alik'r Desert


The underground oasis offered a welcome shelter from walking in the dry heat of the desert. Anifaire was relieved to simply have some shade, used to heat but unaccustomed to the sun beating down on her for so long. She was grateful she had bought Hammerfell clothing, as the flowing cloth didn’t stick to her skin with sweat. Alim bought them, not her, she remembered, Alim who was

She wondered how Shakti could ever remember the expanse of the desert well enough to recall exactly where an oasis might be nearby. After all, each dune looked the same as the last, the dry, endless sands appearing to never change no matter how long the group traveled. She wondered if Alim liked the desert; he was a Redguard. But he wasn’t here, enjoying the desert, because he’d been

A bag of supplies and the smallest tent she could find from the wagon in hand, Anifaire sought out a private area, or at least the closest she could get to it in the cavern. She began struggling with her tent, trying to unfold it the way she’d seen others do in the past. At each turn, the tent fought against her, but no frustration built within her. Steadily, she worked towards her goal. She missed the Three Crowns, where she’d had a bed, she’d been able to eat, where she’d... been paid to fight in a resistance, a resistance she’d seen butchered and burnt and

Tents were difficult, she concluded. Having never been taught to put one up, she tried to avoid making it obvious to anyone how much she struggled. The Altmer hadn’t spoken a word since seeing the inn, Alim was inside, flipping a burnt body that resembled

Water, she thought, would help after the heat of the day. She filled a bucket with water fresh from the river. It was chilled water, and fresh, kept cool by virtue of being underground. The water felt good on her shaky hands, grime and sand dust washing away into the river. Returning to her lopsided tent, she knew she wanted nothing more than sleep. Between the rescue and the desert, Anifaire hadn’t been so tired since the group fled the Imperial City. The bucket of water set aside and forgotten, she crawled into the tent.

The mossy and sandy ground beneath her was surprisingly soft. She had a blanket bunched into a comfortable pillow. The warmth of the desert relaxed her, now that she was in comfortable shade.

Yet, sleep refused to take her, despite how nothing was out of place. Everything was perfect, in the little tent, where Anifaire lay, counting tropical birds from her homeland in her imagination. The last time she had done so was lost to memories in her childhood, her mother seated next to the bed, singing delicate lullabies. It wasn’t right. Everything was perfectly settled, the party had even stopped earlier in the day, and she had time to get a real rest, comfortable in a cave with a real tent and real blankets, but her breathing shook in gasping breaths.

She raised a hesitant hand up to eye-level, watching as her fingers shook. She wondered why they shook. Slowly, she touched her face; her golden skin was wet, salty tears dripping freely from her eyes in all directions, catching in her mouth and pooling on her neck uncomfortably. She rolled onto her side, tucking her knees up to her stomach.

She wondered if any animals lived in the desert. The area seemed barren and vast. She thought perhaps animals knew how to find water, like Shakti. When they’d been in Gilane, Hammerfell hadn’t seemed nearly so vast or dry.

The image of the Three Crowns in flames flashed in her mind, the scent of blood and burning filled

If there were any animals in the desert, they must be small creatures. Perhaps they lived in underground areas like this oasis. She wondered if they hunted, or possibly ate moss.

She recalled seeing a Dwemer knocked in the shoulder by one of her bricks get disemboweled because of the distraction, the orc, Mazrah, catching him with her spear. The sight of his innards leaking out of his neck from the wound and the sight of his body spasming as it crumpled to the ground had been

Perhaps the desert housed small weasels, like groundhogs.

Sobs had begun to shake her, her face shifting to muffle any noise in the blanket. She couldn’t hold back, thoughts scattered as she tried to focus from one idle musing to the next, a wall built to defend against the events of the past day, crumbling like sand.

The battle was vivid. She’d avoided the thick of it, but the observer’s perspective was a burden; she’d seen many skirmishes all at once, Dwemer falling, frenzied and in chaos, blood on the ground. It wasn’t the same as the Falmer, it wasn’t the same as passing nameless bodies in the Imperial City attack she refused to look just a little to hard at. Anifaire had been a part of it. She’d watched, participated, thrown stones, and she’d felt proud, she’d felt helpful, yet now all she could recall was the blood and guts spilling onto the cobblestone. Feelings on the subject warred within her; she’d helped her friends, and yet that meant harming the Dwemer.

Who attacked the inn. The husk of the building was left, the panic filling her as she recalled Alim had been inside, that others had been there. She caught side of a Redguard, face down and burned, a man, on the ground, and reached down to flip him over in a hurry, trying not to wretch from the scent of burnt flesh

Are there birds in the desert?

The body was disfigured, burns marred the face grotesquely; the imagine burned into her mind. She remembered him, someone she’d at the inn several times before, and it disturbed her to see someone she recognized limp and lifeless, yet she was relieved though her horror - not Alim, no, Alim hadn’t been there. They took him, the Dwemer took him while they freed Daro’Vasora, and there was nothing she could do to help when they didn’t even know

The desert must be free of mosquitos. A minor blessing, at least one thing to be grateful for.

Alim was taken, like others had been. Anger tinged her thoughts as she wished she could wade her way through Dwemer until she was sure he was well, yet she could do nothing of the sort, because she was just Anifaire, a useless noble lady who could do little more than throw stones in a fight. Hopelessness surpassed the twinge of anger she’d felt, as she felt disjointed, disconnected, Alim was her friend, this group unlike anyone she'd known in Alinor, yet the Dwemer could just meander into the inn and take one, leaving behind them a gore-filled mess of bodies and the scent of blood and burning and

Her body stilled, breathing steadier, tears falling gently, an emptiness forming in the pit of her stomach as she cried in the solitude of her tent walls.
5th of Midyear, Gilane

The populace was unhappy with Dwemer rule. They were foreign invaders. The idea stuck with her.

Anifaire watched Gilane through a bubble. From her bench, she saw shopkeep-customer interactions; she saw mothers and children; she saw tired workers returning home before curfew, when she would return inside as well. She watched as a guard patrol travelled through the streets and thought nothing of it. She sat atop her bench and observed the surroundings, watching and passing judgements. Yes, Gilane was lovely. Yes, the Dwemer were there, in the flesh and fascinating.

Questions never came to mind. Sitting day to day, she feared heading into the city, thinking she would get lost or some other misfortune would befall her, like in the Imperial City. From the safety of her bench, she observed the world, wondering what it was like to be part of it.

It was like the way she observed the rest of the group, wondering what it was like to be part of it. Because she wasn’t. Not really. She tagged along, she made trouble, she got in the way. She bothered Alim. Her skills didn’t help. She was afraid of every encounter. She was afraid of each risk.

Anifaire immediately stood up, hesitating in front of the bench, hovering before she took another step. She would get lost if she left. She would run into guards, thieves, or otherwise no-good folks. She knew it. She knew she couldn’t handle it. She knew so much as being in a city on her own was beyond her capabilities. She deflated, her face falling, knees bending, as she dropped back into the bench in defeat. Her hands twitched, folding the trim of her shirt this way and that.

She wondered what it would be like to be like the others. They knew their strengths. They knew how to live in this world, while she didn’t know how to survive in any world save her parent’s manor. She berated herself. Pathetic. She wondered what it would feel like to be like Alim. He knew cities, familiar and not, he knew how to travel through them, he knew how to deal with a fight. And he wouldn’t consider her anything other than something to look out for. Or what it would be like to be Nanine. She was a mage, like Anifaire, but she knew useful things, like fighting. She was confident; she pursues her curiosities. She wasn’t a burden. Brynja - Brynja was strong and certain in her convictions. Anifaire wondered what she herself had.

It was pathetic, she thought, that she couldn’t so much as wander around a city while everyone else could fight Falmer and pick locks and scale walls undetected and conjure ice and fire and swing swords and axes.

She huffed. Standing up from the bench one more time, she didn’t let herself second guess. She set off, walking down the street without a destination, determined to see other parts of the city she hadn’t before.

Anifaire tried to keep track of landmarks as she walked, a signpost here, a shop’s sign there, hoping she would be able to find her way back. She didn’t travel too many streets away, fearing the worst.

It was more difficult to watch people’s interactions when she was one of them. The experience was completely different. Instead of watching as other made purchases and brushed past each other in crowds, she herself walked among them.

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear,” an elderly Redguard lady said as she bumped into Anifaire on her way out of a shop.

“Watch where you’re going!” an irritable young Dwemer snapped when she made the same mistake to him.

“Anything in particular you’re lookin’ for?” a shopkeeper asked her as she browsed his wares - fine fabrics, specifically. She had a fondness for soft clothes, and was delighted to look, even if she didn’t have the coin or a reason to purchase such luxuries.

Some people were friendly to her, and a few were irritable. The city wasn’t unlike her experiences in Alinor or the Imperial City, but being alone had her trembling with nervousness when she first set out to see more sights. By the time she reached the end of the street of shops she was looking for, perhaps one street away from the Three Crowns, she realized her fear had faded, replaced with something new: a simple fascination with life.

This time, Anifaire recognized the nearby landmark she had planned to stick near with ease. The Altmer traveled back towards the inn, as it was nearing dinnertime.

As she entered the Three Crowns and sat herself down to eat, she wondered what it would be like to experience something truly exciting. If a bit of window shopping was as interesting an experience as it had been, she considered what it might be like to explore an old ruin or to travel along the sea, to find strange landmarks and meet odd people.

The waitress set the plate of food down in front of Anifaire, a glass of wine accompanying it, and as she went to eat, she reflexively picked up her fork in a careful fashion. She stopped before eating, remembering what Daro’Vasora had said at the party, and her recent thoughts of adventure. She placed the fork back on the table, intending to pick up the drumstick with her hand, as she’d seen many people do. But, she couldn’t do it. After a bit of consternation, she lifted the fork and knife and began eating in a polite, delicate manner.

After all, Anifaire just wasn’t the type of girl who had adventures. She wasn’t the type who traveled, or ate with her hands, or spoke with new people, or fought with skill and precision. No, Anifaire ate with a fork and knife, precisely, and drank her one, small glass of red wine, and she couldn’t be anything else, she thought. But even as she ate, a part of her recalled the sense of excitement she had felt at exploring a new street with new shops and people, unlike Alinor, unlike the Imperial City, and wondered how she could be that girl instead.


People Watching


A Collab by @Rtron and @LadyTabris

Nanine and Anifaire, 3rd of Midyear, afternoon

Nanine wandered outside of the Three Crowns, idly looking at all of them civilians walking by. It was the day after all of their missions had finally wrapped up and the mood was somber. One mission had completely failed due to the errors of the team, the second had mostly failed, and only Nanine’s own mission had succeeded. Considering that her mission was most likely the least important, it was only a small comfort. She was a little at loss for what to do with her own time, when she caught sight of a familiar Altmer sitting on a bench, also watching the crowds go by.

“Anifaire!” She called, approaching the other woman. “How have you been? I didn’t see you after the recap of the meetings, and all the things that went wrong during them. Still studying the Dwemer as they walk by?”

“Good afternoon, Nanine,” Anifaire replied. “Yes, I am, and I think even the locals are becoming interesting to me. I do wonder if they act differently now that the Dwemer are here.”

Nanine sat next to the elf, watching the crowds go by with her. “Wouldn’t you? A race long thought dead comes from they sky with airborne ships and technology that has never been seen before, shatters any military resistance and does the thing the Aldmeri Dominion was incapable of doing, then establishes complete and utter control. On the surface they keep things pleasant, but it’s really ran quietly by a force that makes dissenters disappear. Wouldn’t you act differently if all that happened to the Isles while you lived in them?”

Anifaire pondered the question for a moment. “Why do people dissent?” she asked. “What have the Dwemer done wrong?” The question had been nagging at her since they arrived in Gilane.

Nanine stared at her for a moment, half expecting Anifaire to smile or chuckle, or something else to show that the Altmer was joking. When it became clear that the question was sincere, Nanine looked up at the Altmer and gave a small sigh. She was more naive than Nanine had thought.

“Well, for starters they showed up out of nowhere and declared themselves the rulers of a land and civilization with its own rulers and customs and then killed anyone who dissented. After establishing themselves as rulers, they presented the face of benevolent rulers wanting to foster peace and understanding, but they use secret guards to kidnap, interrogate, and kill people. The Redguards never wanted this. Its being forced upon them with brutality and cruelty, all kept hidden under a veneer of pleasantry. Like a disease ravaging the inside of a body and leaving the outside untouched.”

She looked at Anifaire curiously. “If you didn’t know why anyone was dissenting, why did you even get involved in all of this?”

Anifaire nodded slowly, processing Nanine’s words. If the Dwemer swept in by force, used secret guards, well, it made a bit more sense to her. She considered the Dwemer she’d watched day to day, living lives that seemed normal. She wondered if it was really true, that there was a brutal force behind the Dwemer occupation, and she frowned. She would have to watch more closely.

“I just wasn’t ready to try to go home yet,” she answered. Even if she did, she didn’t have the coin for any kind of passage nor the skill to survive alone on the road, though those more practical concerns were starting to fade away in place of curiosity about the world, despite her fear.

“True, but no one was making you stay here and get involved. If you just wanted to not go home you could have gotten on another ship or even went to another inn. You actively chose to get involved in something this dangerous, especially if we actually succeed.” Which was something that was always at the back of her mind. If this rebellion even succeeded, there would be many questions as to what would come next and none of them would be easy. Shaking her mind of such thoughts, Nanine smiled up at the tall Altmer. “I am glad you are with us though, regardless of your reasons.” The words were sincere. She enjoyed talking to the Altmer, even if she was slightly naive, and her presence on the team.

Anifaire waited a few seconds before answering, weighting possibilities. “Thank you,” she said, smiling lightly. “It would not have been exactly simple for me to move to another inn or take a ship. I don’t happen to have much coin currently.” The words she spoke were the truth, but she was beginning to consider a deeper meaning to her own actions. “But I think I am interested in the… people, this group we are with. If I returned home, I would be returning perhaps to a comfortable life, but I would not have experiences such as these.” She considered her teacher, Ania, who travelled through her area. She had been a true adventurer and a scholar at the same time, delving in person into ancient ruins. It had been inspiring, though building up the courage had taken decades and she still doubted herself.

“The experiences like trudging through mud, almost constantly on the run, and almost dying several times on the way here? Truly, they are wonders that I can never get enough of.” Nanine chuckled, standing up and stretching. “I’m glad you value the people here so highly Anifaire. I’ll leave you to your people watching, as I have to go take care of my equipment in case I ever have to use it here. Tell me if you spot anything interesting.”

“Thank you, Nanine, I will,” Anifaire replied.

She crossed her legs and folded her arms as she turned her attention back to the people bustling in the street. The conversation left a bad taste in her mouth. There were too many things to consider, and she wasn’t sure what her motivation for staying was. It wasn’t for trudging through mud or almost dying. There must have a been a thousand times she wanted to return to the comfort of Alinor. She frowned, pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind to consider another time.
2nd Midyear, Afternoon

The street was in a state of quiet business. It was mid-afternoon, so many people were working, though Anifaire watched a few hurry about other errands from shop to shop along the street. She reclined on the bench; it was one down the street from the inn, but still in sight if she leaned. It was a comfortable space she'd started frequenting since their arrival in Gilane. The day before, she'd felt nervous as she sat there, trying to relax, but each time a Dwemer passed, she felt as though they knew her part in the prison raid, and she squirmed. She'd returned to the inn room, defeated, and slept away most of the day. The mission had been exhausting in a way she still wasn't used to.

Under her arm was a small bag, inside some parchment and ink, which she’d purchased with the last of her coins. In the back of her mind, she wondered where she would get money again, but for the time being she tried to put it out of her mind. Perhaps with the letters she intended to write, she could gain some funds, even if it took a long time to arrive. No one seemed interested in dealing with Thalmor bank accounts at the time being, so she’d have to go directly to her parents if she wanted family money.

But that wasn’t why she had decided to write home. No, that was because of the thought in the back of her mind which she couldn’t fight off since the Imperial City: her family must think her dead in the Dwemer attack. The image of her mother’s devastated face crossed her mind and she frowned. Parchment was expensive, but she couldn’t wait any longer. They’d soon give up on expecting to hear from her.

She had only two pieces of parchment, so she sat, her leg folded up as a table and her quill hovering over the page, for quite some time, trying to decide what to write.

Anifaire didn’t know what to tell them.

She considered the things she needed to tell them about: the Expedition; the attack on the Imperial City; the banks refusing her; staying with the group into Gilane, which is occupied by Dwemer.

But they weren't the only things she wanted to say. There was more: about a Khajiit who was leading the group; or, a strange Argonian who also does Alteration magic; or perhaps kind Nanine and Brynja; or... Alim. She considered their reactions to these tidings, and knew they wouldn't care about the details of this groups' lives. It wouldn't be a priority.

Her mother was going to worry when she received the tidings, but hopefully she would just be glad of Anifaire's survival. She wondered if they were going to demand she return home, because she had realized recently that she didn't want to yet.

Pondering over the sorts of things she couldn't say to them, Anifaire finally scribbled a few sentences on the page. Idly, she thought about her elven dagger, once a gift from her parents, now lost somewhere in the Imperial City. She didn't miss it, exactly; it had gotten her strange looks on occasion. Still, she felt like her father would be upset it was misplaced. She wrote out the last few lines of the letter. It had been so long since she'd last put a quill to paper.

The letter was difficult to write. It felt as though she'd forgotten how to talk to her parents, and each word was difficult to formulate. She kept the letter concise, thinking that at the least they would know she's alive.

She leaned back on the bench, the letter finished, idly toying with the fabric of her new clothes. She smiled, thinking of Alim buying it with a stolen jewel. She could hardly believe he'd really stolen it from someone, but the idea made her laugh a little bit. It seemed like something out of a book.

The Altmer watched as a Dwemer idled by, not a guard, just a regular Dwemer woman, purchasing foods from a Redguard vendor. It was a fascinating sight she'd never thought she'd see in her life, however simple the interaction. She'd never expected to find modern cultures as interesting as she did historical ones - research in those areas was negligible in the Dominion - but somehow, she did. Yes, she thought. I like Gilane.
Dear Father and Mother,

My apologies for the delay in writing to you. I have been through a tumultuous series of events.

The events began when I signed on with an expedition into a Dwemer ruin. After the expedition ended, I returned to the Imperial City in the company of the rest of the expedition group, and when the city was attacked, I was able to flee with the help of the same group, specifically an Altmer named Durantel has been helpful in watching out for me.

From there, we ended up in Anvil for several days. While I was there, the bank refused to honor my signet ring and I was left without funds. I stayed with this group and I am now in Gilane, which is under the control of a Dwemer faction.

I am safe and it seems that so long as I remain with the expedition group, I have been able to eat and have a bed to sleep on. Still, any help you could provide with the banks would be helpful.

Please pass on my greetings and well wishes to Saurelar and Valisara. How is Cirendar?


The bottom of the letter was signed 'Anifaire Mirlinde' in nearly illegible handwriting, and across the front of the sealed letter, the destination was printed: Aronar Mirlinde, Alinor, Summerset Isles.
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