megatrash

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

Cameron watched in horror as Justin sat strapped in the chair with the full face helmet covering him. At first, he was talking to someone (she thought she heard him say Ryken, but she could have been mistaken) but then the tone soon changed. He was yelling, squirming in the chair as something awful must have played in the screen in front of him.

“I’m not doing it, I’m not doing it,” Cameron began repeating, along with, “Let him out! Just let him out!” Two guards then gripped her arms to keep her from attempting to escape the room, so she had no choice but to stand there and watch from behind the glass. When they finally carried him off, she felt equal parts relief because they let him out, and extreme fear for what awaited her. It couldn’t be that bad, right? It was fake. “It’s fake,” she repeated, this time in a whisper to herself.

“Cameron, you’re up next,” William spoke, nodding to the guards to bring her into the room. Her body began to shake, but she forced herself to walk with them until they seated her into the chair and strapped her arms and legs securely. Next, they lowered the helmet over her, which for right now, was completely blank. She breathed deeply in an attempt to calm herself, but as soon as she seemed to lower her heart rate, the screen right in front of her eyes flickered on.

The scene was a wooded area, one that looked quite familiar, but it was hard for Cameron to pinpoint exactly where she was. She looked to her right to the a dozen or so tents around a large bonfire. It was cold, and her breath fogged in front of her and rose up into a clear sky above. Wait a minute…

She was back on that hunt with the men from Chesapeake. “No, no, no,” she began to repeat as she circled around. “Don’t make me do this, don’t make me do this.” No replies. A twig snapped in the treeline, and she gasped. Three men appeared, all faces she had seen before. The fact that this was fake had been completely forgotten at this point, and adrenaline was now coursing through her veins. “Stay away from me!”

“Cameron, what’s wrong?” One of the men asked. It was the one she had killed in his sleep.

“I know what you’re doing. Leave me alone!” Her hand went down to reach for the dagger she had become so used to, but nothing was on her thigh.

“Aw, look, fellas,” another man spoke. “She thought she’d be able to fight us.”

Cameron began to walk backwards towards the tents and tripped, falling backwards into the cold dirt, and as the men crept closer, she scooted herself back. “I can’t do this again. Stay back!”

They were too close now, and instead of trying to fight them, Cameron curled up in a ball on the ground and began to sob. She had already been defeated. All of this fighting over the past month or two, and now, she was unable to do anything but lay in a fetal position.

As soon as the men had approached her, the helmet was lifted off of her eyes, and she winced at the bright light from the room. “Oh thank god,” she whimpered with tears in her eyes.

William was in the corner, shaking his head in disappointment. She must’ve failed the test.

Avery spoke from the other side of the glass. “Take her back to the room, and we’ll go over the results.”

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

haha thank you! finishing up your post today!

Trash's FC/CS Dump

Name:
Maeve Sutharlan

Age:
Twenty-five

Region:
Éire

Occupation:
Apprentice to Seanen, Druid

Appearance:

appearance

Maeve’s dark features are scarce in Éire. Her father is to blame for chocolate colored eyes with strong eyebrows to frame them, and the dark ebony hair that frames her freckled face. Those freckles and her pouty lips, however, were lent to her by her mother, who had fiery red hair. She of slender build, partly from genetics, but also due to the sporadic availability of food. The winters each year seems to get harsher and harsher, causing panic for the tribes.

appearance

Like the other healers in her tribe, Maeve often lines her eyes with coal, and, on special occasions, will dawn black or red paint in the form of deliberately placed lines and circles. No matter the season, she is usually dawning a cloak over a simple, long black gown, worn from years of wear and the sun in the summer. Her leather boots, now lined with soft fur thanks to a generous hunter, are worn more days than not.

appearance

Personality:
[something something something]

Traits:
Forthright, curious, self-sufficient, stubborn, cold

History:
Maeve [something about being born on X date - destined to become Druid - etc etc]

[begins to apprentice at 18 - studies under -Druid name-]

[top druid motherfucker has vision or something - decides she's not destined to stay in ____ as Druid, but to travel to find help]

[accompanied by warriors to go to the Thousand Tribes to help defend their land from _____]

B!tchfest: a healthy release for our non-roleplay annoyances.

@Kurai Assassin wowowowow i just listened to it. Wtf man :---/

B!tchfest: a healthy release for our non-roleplay annoyances.

I agree @Kurai Assassin. The Black Parade is a masterpiece that I don't feel like any of the bands listed deserve to touch, if anyone even deserves to at all. The only band I like from that list is Moose Blood and I even think their preview is awful.

LEAVE MY CHEM ALONE

On LGBT+, homophobia, country-perspective (EU vs US), democracy, and free speech.

Buddha bruh you KNOW i know hetero couples aren't perfect (i.e. my marriage falling apart.)
<3

On LGBT+, homophobia, country-perspective (EU vs US), democracy, and free speech.

Buddha, first off, I’d like to say that you’re my homie and I always have an enjoyable time discussing shit like this with you. Not as much as our other stupid conversations, but almost. This was well-written and a good read, my die or die.

2 WARNINGS:
I'm tired. I might read this tomorrow and realize its garbage.
I’m not going to comment on the democracy/political side of things.

Now, to continue on to my point, I believe the fact that your country does not exhibit the same level of homophobia as mine does makes our perspectives wildly different (as we discussed in our PMs.) The fact that I am also not a straight person also does give me some bias on the topic, which I am more than willing to admit. Our life experiences granted us completely different viewpoints, and I am utterly satisfied with that.

However, I do love to talk about this.

The reason that many of us, especially in the United States, have such a strong opinion about homophobia is that is that it can often times not be limited to words. Protests, murders, and hate crimes are a very scary and real thing to people who are not heterosexual here. I’ve often not told people about my sexuality for this exact fear. On the internet under anonymity, why the fuck not?

That’s why homophobia and homosexuality are two different ballgames. Heterosexuals are not a marginalized group, as they are the norm. They don’t get their weddings protested. They don’t get the shit beat out of them for being seen with their significant other. Politicians aren’t discussing their bedroom affairs to see if it should be okay or not. Straight people do not go through struggles with their sexuality like those in the LGBT community, too. That’s why homophobia is wrong. And even though your country doesn’t witness that, it still doesn’t make it less wrong.

And oooooof course, they are allowed to speak their mind. To quote what I said to you in our PM:

if some dude was like "ew u like pussy but u have one too ??? that gross" id be like "yeah cool man w.e"

@megatrash

People’s opinions on homosexuality are not the problem. Some people may not like my fucking hair cut and I’m not going to cry about it. It’s the fact that straight people get so angry about it, either with words or with physical assault, that is wrong. It’s an advantaged group “attacking” (using that word liberally there) a disadvantaged group because of their opinion on the matter, an opinion that originated from religious books supposedly written thousands of years ago by a mystical man in the sky.

I am not involved in the community. I don’t go to parades. I don’t sign petitions or wear bisexual pride colors head to toe on designated days. I just want to hold a hot girl’s hand down the road if I am so lucky, or be able to explain something about myself without fear. I’ve accepted a long time ago that homophobia will always exist. I just think that its form right now is cruel and barbaric. PEOPLE JUST NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES.

In regards to my status bar activity today, I don’t want to see kids discouraged from things that they probably get on the internet to run away from. I love the dumb insensitive part of the internet as well, but this is an open roleplaying forum that we all know damn well attracts a lot of young people. That’s why I can’t do a group smut roleplay in the casual section. The status that sparked all of this came off as “look at me I’m edgy” and that its sole purpose was to get some likes and make others feel bad. As someone who has been told her whole life that my sexuality is wrong, if I see it happening, I’m gonna say something. Don’t like it? That’s okay.

Do I think roleplays are completely over-saturated with non-straight characters now? Yes. I do.
Do I join those roleplays? No. I know how to close my eyes and move on.

Anyway, I’m not mad about homophobes speaking their mind from a point of being open minded and not just mean. It helps me weed out the people I don’t want around me : - )

ANYWAY BACK TO SHIT POSTING

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

Have something in the works :-) should be up soon hopefully!

In Bloom [HangYourSecrets x megatrash] [18+]

“I love you. I just…I just want you to know that.”

It was from that moment on that Jane knew where Rob was heading, but instead of stopping it then, she remained in the fetal position she was in during the meeting, wiping her tears subtly as they fell from her eyes. Jane couldn’t not let him share his feelings – the ones she begged for him to tell her – so with the little willpower she had in her body, she left him finish before she reacted.

And man, was that difficult.

Part of her knew it had to have been coming, but the other part was completely taken by surprise. The brain and the heart. With each word he spoke, it was harder and harder for her to sit there and take it. It felt like self-abuse by the time Rob had finished with: ”Because what’s working right now…it just isn’t.”

With that last sentence, Jane felt the last bit of emotion she was trying so hard to desperately push down come bubbling back up. “Fuck,” was all she could get out at first, and that was only a whisper between sniffling and involuntary noises from crying.

Was Rob wrong? Of course not. Their relationship had felt like an impossible obstacle course since it started. They had both done damage to each other with both words and actions. They ruined a tour. They hurt their friends. So many things had gone south in just a few months that it’d be ridiculous to keep things going. But it didn’t make it hurt less.

Jane had finally calmed down enough to speak. “I-I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes were fixed on the floor between them, blurry with tears. Would she be able to say anything right now that wasn’t completely emotionally driven?

”Why did you bother telling me your feelings in the first place?”
”Are you seriously gonna end it after all that we’ve been through?”
”I might be pregnant. Please don’t leave me yet.”

No. The answer was no. She wasn’t going to be an adult about the situation, at least right now. Even Jane would admit she was too immature for that. Instead, she used the long sleeve of her t-shirt to violently rub her eyes, then almost abruptly, she stood up for from the chair.

“Rob. I respect your decision. But… I can’t be here right now… with you. I’m sorry.” Jane picked up her bag from the chair and fanned her face with her hands before looking down at him, finally making eye contact with him. “I love you.”

And with that, she briskly walked out the door and down the hall of the venue, shielding her face from the bright light of the sun that greeted her. What was she going to do? Harold had asked them to keep a low profile in the bus all day, but being trapped with Rob would just be too painful.

“Lyla?” Jane whispered into the phone a few minutes later on the side of the venue. “It’s Jane.”

“Hey, Jane, is everything okay? You –“

“Are you in the bus?” Jane felt bad for interrupting, but everything seemed so urgent at the moment.

“Yeah…” Lyla replied, her tone suspicious. “What’s going on?”

“I, um, do you mind just coming to get brunch with me somewhere? Anywhere. I’ll wear a hoodie and sunglasses. I-I just can’t be in the bus right now.”

“Okay. Where should I meet you?” Lyla’s voice went from weary to maternal in an instant.

“I’ll text you a place we can eat.”

*****

Once Lyla met Jane at a small café, they wasted no time getting down to what had happened between her and Rob. Jane had even gone far back into history, answering Lyla’s question about their friendship, and all the minute details that led up to this moment now. Jane would have to take breaks between sentences to compose herself before continuing, and it made her feel weak. Stupid. Just like the dumb girls she had made fun of in the past for being so dramatic during a breakup.

But this felt different. She was now alone. Alone half way across the world from her home. Andy wasn’t even here any longer to lessen the blow. She’d have to go through it herself.

“And now… I think I’m pregnant,” Jane whispered and looked around the shop with paranoia.

“Oh my god,” Lyla replied, putting a hand up to her mouth. “Whose is it?”

“There’s a fifty-fifty chance it could be either Rob’s or Andy’s.” Jane shook her head in disappointment with herself. “I haven’t taken the test yet, so I’m not sure.”

“Do you have it here?” Lyla’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, it’s uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Well, damn it, Jane, take it! Here!”

Jane lowered her sunglasses and looked Lyla in the eyes sternly. “Jesus, calm down.” She scanned the café once again. “Fine, but can we finish eating first?”

“Are you gonna keep it?” Lyla asked, ignoring Jane’s request.

“Of course not.” Jane rubbed her face. “One, I can barely take care of myself. Two, Andy isn’t here anymore. And three, Rob just dumped me. What about that says, ‘Hell yeah, let me have a kid right now’?”

“Errr, you’re right.” Lyla put her fingers to her temples. “Well. Okay. Let’s eat.”

*****

Jane sat on the toilet as Lyla turned to face the wall in the corner.

“Oh, come on, don’t be weird,” Jane rolled her eyes as she peed on the stick. “I’m almost done.”

Lyla turned around slowly from the corner and couldn’t help but laugh. “Cameron didn’t tell me this was part of my job description.”

She chuckled. “Yeah. Sorry about that.” Jane pulled the stick up and placed the cap on the top. “Shit,” she whispered and placed in on the bathroom sink. “Can you… Can you tell me when it’s done?”

“Yeah,” Lyla nodded with a faint smile.

Two minutes felt like an eternity, and both girls waiting in a painful silence until the recommended time was up. “Okay, Jane,” she nearly whispered. “I’m going to look at it.”

Jane squeezed her eyes shut and mumbled something in reply from the other side of the one-person bathroom. If there was ever a time where she felt the least mentally prepared to do this, it was now, but she couldn’t put it off any longer. The reason Jane’s life was spiraling out of control was because she put things off instead of dealing with them head on.

Lyla gasped as she picked the test up from the counter, confirming Jane’s fears. “Two lines?” Jane’s groaned.

“Yeah,” Lyla whispered. “Two lines.”

“Fuck,” Jane cursed sharply, covering her hands with her face. “Okay, okay, I just have to get my insurance information from Harold, then I should be able to take care of it.”

“J-Jane,” Lyla stepped closer to her. “You should at least tell Rob and Andy.”

She didn’t look up from her hands. “Why? Wouldn’t it only make things worse?”

“They just deserve to know,” Lyla explain as she rubbed Jane’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay. I won't tell anyone.”

“Thanks for sitting here with me, Lyla.”

*****

Lyla had returned to the bus, but Jane had walked around the city aimlessly for a while. She wasn’t ready to face Rob. All she wanted right now was to be held by him like she had been that morning, or to kiss his lips and neck and try to convince his neck, or –

Jane’s phone vibrated in her purse, and she leaned against a brick wall that lined the sidewalk as she dug through her bag to retrieve it.

“Hey, Harold,” her voice nearly cracked from crying earlier.

“Jesus, what happened, Jane? You sound like shit. I told you to stay in the bus until the show tonight.”

“I’m sorry, I needed some fresh air. Can we cancel the show tonight?” Jane winced as she asked, knowing it wouldn’t go over well.

“Absolutely not. Somehow, even with Vicarious dropping, it’s almost sold out. You’re gonna have to suck it up.” Harold’s voice portrayed his unwillingness to budge, and Jane receded.

“Okay. Can you, uh, send me that insurance information you were going to?”

“Are you sick?” Harold asked.

Jane paused for a moment. “Something like that. Please, just send me a picture of my cards or something.”

“Okay. You’ll have time to go to the doctor tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Harold.” Jane hung up the call and dropped the phone bag into her purse and sighed. She was already exhausted from the day, and it was only an hour past noon. She knew she needed to lay down and rest before the show tonight, but what if Rob was in the bus? What would she do? After a yawn consumed her momentarily, she knew she didn’t have a choice, and she decided to call a cab to head back to the bus.

*****

Jane reluctantly entered the bus and peered down the aisle before stepping on. No Rob in sight – maybe he was in the bathroom or something – but she took it as an opportunity to dash to her bed, throw up her bag, and quickly climb up into the bunk, closing the curtain behind her. She undressed and stuffed her clothes in to the corner, then curled up in the blanket in a fetal position underneath it.

And as she laid by herself in the cold sheets, she felt painfully alone. The sensation made tears come right back to her eyes, and her body began to shake as she silently cried. Her head throbbed from being sober this long, and her finger trembled from stress as she tried to remove the strands of hair that stuck to her face. She was a wreck. She was truly a heartbroken wreck. Imagining how the show would go tonight only made her feel worse.

She thought of all the memories that had accumulated over the past seven years. All of the laughs, the tears, the good times and bad. All the fun that they had shared. All the times she had laid in his arms. Every time she had been angry at him.

All she wanted was Rob, and now, she couldn’t have him.

Jane soon fell into a deep, deep sleep, one that not even the commotion from everyone being in the van could shake her from. At one point, she heard Austin’s voice ask if she was okay, but she only groaned in response. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Shuffle your music player and post the first 10 songs

Ask by The Smiths
Get It How You Live by Anne
I Caught Fire by The Used
Antidepressants by Night Verses
Dangerous by Big Data feat Joywave
Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the Machine
Slither by Velvet Revolver
Deliverance by HRVRD
Bent Nail by Nothing
Conduit by A Memoria Brooded