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LYDIA

Lawrence was already judging how far he'd have to jump to impale himself on that bird bath when the ghost woman stopped him. He straightened up, frowning. What did she care if he killed himself? She was a ghost herself! He crossed his arms, not looking convinced.

"Look lady, I'm very busy here. I don't have money for whatever ghostly self help program you're running. And besides, I don't even know your name!"

LYDIA

I like it. Poor Lawry.

So like, she gets mad and tricks Lawrence into almost exorcising Barbara. He doesn't want Babs to double die, because he's not evil, so he agrees to marry her to make it stop

When she become human, she goes nuts and tries to leave the house to go take over the world or something

BJ stabs her with a broken hockey stick (IDK why he has so many hockey sticks) and kills her, making her newly dead

Once she's back as a ghost, BJ's crazy ass mom comes back.

Lydia goes to BJ's defense because being alive, even for like five seconds, changed her perspective on life. and she doesn't want BJ to be sad and depressed anymore

Lydia opens a portal to the Netherworld and shoves his crazy mom inside, getting rid of her forever.

Lydia then decides that she's caused enough trouble and should probably go back to the Netherworld to sort out her own family issues

And maybe she comes back and visits in the epilogue and we see that BJ won the lottery or some shit and is doing great

Stranger Beetles

Beetlejuice was hugging Lydia tightly when Ash mentioned testing her. He frowned. He knew this was his Lydia. No way Abby could mimic her this well.

"Fine. Lyds, show Ash that you can unsummon me. Abby shouldn't be able to do that!"

LYDIA

Lawrence slowly stumbled out to the edge of the roof. He definitely wasn't very coordinated. Being hung over didn't help. He was looking down in the yard, thinking his options over, when he heard another voice. God, was he finally losing it? He turned to see some woman he'd never met floating beside him. How many ghosts did this house have?!

"Yeah," He said casually. "I was thinking about aiming for that bird bath over there. Think I can make it?"

LYDIA

So like Lawrence is about to toss himself off the roof, and of course Lydia stops him and tries to get him to summon her.

And what if the Maitlands show up, maybe feeling bad for Lawrence because he's clearly a wreck, and try to warn him that Lydia is up to no good.

But Lawrence doesn't listen to either of them, and just goes back downstairs, where he finds that his mother had copied his house key and is trying to force him to let her move in with him.

So he tries to enlist the Maitlands' help to scare her out (Enter the day-o scene), but it doesn't work

So he summons Lydia to get rid of his mom, which DOES work

And then they go on a haunting spree, scaring the hell out of anyone that comes to the house. But Lawrence is still depressed and still wants to off himself. Maybe even more now, after seeing what the afterlife has to offer. This makes Lydia mad because she won't have anyone to talk to if he dies.

Also, I don't know how you feel about the whole wedding part. I'll leave that up to you lol

Stranger Beetles

"Oh yeah." Beetlejuice had gotten so caught up in finding Lydia, he'd forgotten about his powers. Suddenly, they were standing in front of the roadhouse. "Lydia!" BJ hollered, forcing the door open. "Lyds! Ya' in here, kid?"

LYDIA

"Wait!" Adam followed her out the door, then froze when he got to the bottom of the stairs. Their house...their beautiful, immaculate house...was a total pig sty! There were food containers laying about, dirty clothes piled everywhere, and bottle after empty bottle of cheap, shitty beer. The living room didn't have any furniture aside from a grungy couch, a crooked table, and a TV sat on a stool. A man was slumped over on the couch, slack jawed, the TV still going.

Adam walked around to get a look at him, Barbara behind him.

"This is who bought our house?" She asked. "Adam, he's trashed the place! We have to get rid of him!"

"But how, Barbara? He can't see us, and we aren't scary!"

The man stirred a little.

Barbara glared at him. "Adam. We're ghosts, dammit. Let's...HAUNT THIS BITCH!"

"Barbara!"

She grabbed him under the arm and hauled him upstairs. They were going to find a way to get this nasty slob out of here!

Meanwhile, Lawrence began to stir. He sat up slowly. He could have sworn he just heard people talking...maybe he'd just drunk too much... He rested his throbbing head in his palms, then leaned over to pick up his phone. Six missed called from 'Mom'.

"Argh!" He tossed the phone down and rubbed his face. He'd only been living here a few days when she'd shown up on the doorstep, cursing and yelling and trying to force her way in. That was a few months ago, and life had just gone downhill since then. The car lot wasn't doing too hot, bills were piling up, and he only ever felt like laying on the couch, sleeping.

He stood and slowly drug himself up the stairs towards the bedroom. About that time, two people with bedsheets thrown over their heads came around the corner, making really cheesy ghost sounds.

"The fuck?" Lawrence squinted. He was too hung over for this shit. "Did I have a crackhead orgy and forget about it?"

The two "ghosts" paused. "NoOoOoOoO We'Re GhOstS!" Adam said in a wailing voice.

"Did you two break in here to steal shit? Because I don't have any-"

"No! We're here to haunt you! We want you out of our house!" Barbara snapped. Beetlejuice raised his hands defensively.

"Hey, I bought this house fair and square. Also, ghosts aren't real." He grabbed a nearby hockey stick and used it to lift the bottom of Barbara's ghost sheet. "What're ya' wearin' under there? Nothing? Ya'll some kinky ghosts?"

Barbara scoffed and swatted the stick away. "You aren't scared of us?"

"No...why would I be scared of two dorks in sheets? Also, why did you break into my house?"

"We're ghosts, and this is our house!" Adam insisted. "Wait...you can see us without the sheets?" He slowly pulled his off. Lawrence looked pretty disappointed that they weren't actually naked under them.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be able to?"

Barbara floated up through the floor in front of him to prove her point. "Because the living shouldn't be able to see us! That's what that woman said." Lawrence jumped back, a little startled, but hardly frightened.

"Oh shit...so you two are...like, real ghosts?"

"Yes! That's what we've been telling you this whole time!" Adam was getting frustrated. "Now, if you could so kindly leave our house forever-"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Ghosts or not, I bought this house with my bottom dollar. I'm not leaving," Lawrence crossed him arms huffily. "Not even two sexy ghosts can change my mind. Actually, it might be a better reason to stay!" He cackled.

Barbara let out an indignant cry and grabbed Adam, pulling him up towards the ceiling and back into the attic to revise their plan. Lawrence watched them, his grin falling almost as soon as they were gone. Huh, so there was an afterlife...He wondered if it was any better than his current one. Well, only one way to find out! Lawrence made his way to the roof to test his theory. It wasn't like this hadn't been in the back of his mind for a while now, anyway.

Stranger Beetles

The two demons burst into the waiting room. Beetlejuice ran to the desk, scaring the hell out of Tina.

"Tina! We're looking for Lydia, you seen her?"

Miss Argentina took a second to regroup. "She was here a little while ago." She dropped her voice, "I sent her to the roadhouse to hide. She should still be there."

Beetlejuice grinned and leaned into the window to give Miss Argentina a kiss on the cheek. "You're the best, Tina!" She scoffed and smacked him, but hid a smile under her hand.

Beetlejuice grabbed Ash by the arm and hauled them after him as he headed for the old roadhouse.

LYDIA

Barbara clapped a hand over her mouth. Adam was following the movers around, trying to get them to notice him. "Nothing working!" He said in frustration.

"Alright. That's everything but the attic," One mover said. Adam gasped and flew to the attic, slammed the door shut and locked it. Barbara walked through the door not long after.

"I hate this!" She said. "No one can see us and our whole life is being taken out and dumped." When Lydia appeared, she looked up at her. "But we can't be scary! We're just...we're not like you."

Stranger Beetles

Tina glared after the woman. "Come on, hun," She took Lydia's hand and led her away. She brought Lydia to a door and, on the other side, was the Netherworld. "Lawrence used to run a road house not too far from here, just a ways up that path. It's been empty for a long time, but it should be safe for you until we get this figured out. Since Miss Shoggoth didn't say what paperwork to fill out, and you aren't technically dead, you're free to go." She winked at her.