Monster

|Heroes Among Us|

ChibiYuki,
Please Revise

Hi there, I would like to say that I was enthralled with the overall idea you had for your characters powers, however there does seem to be quite a few issues that will need to be resolved.

Please Fix

- Your skills are more like traits. This will need to be adjusted. The ability to read books is not a skill. The ability to read in general, is. So, enhanced literacy is what you're going for. As for her curious nature; that too is a trait. Instead, she can be perceptive, noticing things about her surroundings better than others, and other such things.

- For her skills in general, I would like to have her knowledge be narrowed, or at least have some kind of limit. As of now, the only limit I see is her headaches. Both datadogie and I have come to the same conclusion - that in order for this not to be OP, you will have to settle on what, exactly her knowledge is focusing on. We don't want to have you go out and learn how to make bombs one day, and the next she'll have learned how to travel through time. There has to be limits to something so vast.

- Weaknesses: Faker!!! - This is not a weakness. It just goes on to list what Living Knowledge already stated, and how people react to her headaches.
Also, for her role in the public eye you state that her Inner Library holds all knowledge. If that were the case, why would she be stealing and adding books to this vast library inside of her? Also, couldn't she just rent the book, read it, and store it there, rather than steal it?

- Lastly, as for her not being able to use her library while danger is nearby...How will she be able to access her powers on a mission? I can guarantee danger in almost all of the situations. If she were to go on a mission, she would just be like any other citizen.

|Heroes Among Us|

[Deleted Double Post]

|Heroes Among Us|

@Yog Sothoth:
ACCEPTED
Congratulations, you are now officially a member of Heroes Among Us!

--

@Chibi, thank you. I'll try not to!

---

Alright, I'm heading off. I'll see all of you tomorrow, I hope.

|Heroes Among Us|

ChibiYuki said
All goodie xD sorry for making it so complicated for the two of you. And I will review the rules again (Because i think i was suppose to write something lol) and also take your time while reviewing my CS so I dont mind waiting ^.^((Edit: Found it lol XD))

Thank you, Chibi!

Your patience is noted, and very much appreciated. There's no need to apologize for your CS, datadogie and I will work on reviewing together tomorrow, as of now however, rest is very much required. I'll check up on this first thing when I wake up.

SIDE NOTE: If anyone has questions involving the story, setting, or anything you can think of, feel free to ask. If you don't want to ask me on the thread, send a PM my way. Have a good night/day everyone.

|Heroes Among Us|

@Yog Sothoth:
Please Revise
You did a good job with Ralph altogether, though there is something that needs to be edited.

Please Fix

- Take a look at the rules, please. It should have something there that should be of interest to you. ;D

|Heroes Among Us|

[quote=ChibiYuki]
Currently Being Reviewed
Before I go any deeper into your CS, I would like for you to take a gander at the rules. I swear to you that it's nothing bad, but I'd recommend it.

A heads up

I will review your sheet tomorrow with the help of my Co-Gm datadogie. Your CS has some complicated elements that I think should be further discussed. However, as of now I must say it appears to be a little over powered. Again - I'll be reviewing this with my Co-Gm. I apologize in advance for the wait.

|Heroes Among Us|

DragonBeastMode said
Character Sheet

Please Revise

Hey there DragonBeastMode, your character idea was very original and different, fun to read. However, there were a few instances where your character seemed a little OP: otherwise, Ms. Mathews was beautifully done. See what I did there?
Sorry, I'm horrible, I know.

Please Fix

Anyway, the only thing I'd recommend fixing would be her Seduction move. If I allowed this, it would be me enabling you to control another character - which I know you wouldn't do because you read the rules, but this power still is teetering on that fine line. I apologize, as it is a good power, but it would be too over-powered for the roleplay. This is just a suggestion, but...If Kisses Galore was to be a leader type, going off on her own whether it benefited the team or not, does not fit into a leader role.

Charlie said
Character Sheet

Please Revise

Bonjour Charlie, I like the way you put the biotic a into play. There is one thing that you will need to adjust in order to be accepted. You will find it below.

Please Fix

- Before I can accept your sheet, you should probably read the rules.

|Heroes Among Us|

RumikoOhara said
No answer on whether we just reuse the old CS

It's stated in the CS form on the OOC, you can reuse the old CS, but it is strongly recommended that you adjust it to fit to the new CS standards.

|Heroes Among Us|

Shard said
Thank you ^^

No problem, it is I who should be thanking you for taking the time to join!

SIDE NOTE: I am working on checking the other sheets as well, I apologize that it is taking some time, but I'm trying to make sure that the sheets are up to par for the roleplay. It will take a little while, but I hope to get through the new CS sheets today.

|Heroes Among Us|

Whirlwind said
Alright I will work on tweaking the powers. Although, anyone who can move around 120lbs, could toss her around. Considering she has not attained the 1000lb form.As for the bio, I thought stating her asylum stay was a given that she was considered mentally unstable/insane, not fit for prison, considering she could not remember the incident. Not to mention no witnesses to see her do it or transform, and how could it be determined she did it when no one but the reverend had seen her power? The wounds were not consistent with a girl her size. Thus, the insane asylum was a bandaid for the mob her father had led against her. The woman, Farrah, was simply a woman looking to adopt who could not believe an angry mob would be led against a 14 year old girl. She believed at the time, Dixie did not commit the murder (given that no one knew Dixie's power but her father and it looked more like an animal attack), but when she grew to know of her powers, saw them as a gift and encouraged Dixie to use them for the right thing. By this point, she saw her as a daughter and would never turn her over to police. I hope that helps!

ACCEPTED
Thank you Whirlwind, this does help quite a bit. It clarifies the situation nicely, and as such, she will be accepted. Though I would like to PM you about the form she has yet to unlock.