STATUS:
PMing everyone on this website individually and asking “do you think my statuses are funny?” with an attached stock photo of a man (super buff) crying.
2 yrs ago
Current
PMing everyone on this website individually and asking “do you think my statuses are funny?” with an attached stock photo of a man (super buff) crying.
9
likes
3 yrs ago
The people who wrote the instructions for my sister's new printer failed to consider that I might be tripping balls while trying to help her set it up.
2
likes
3 yrs ago
I'm in the lab, cooking up a status that will make every mad at me, together. I can heal this website by being as wrong and annyoing as possible.
6
likes
3 yrs ago
Met a guy yesterday who looked and sounded exactly like Hank Hill. Made my week. Logged in today and realized yesterday was this accounts sixth birthday. The universe gave me a gift for the occasion.
4
likes
3 yrs ago
Finally getting to that age where I realize that I'm becoming my dad. Called some guy at work "old boy" because I couldn't remember his name. If I order any ww2 books just put me down like a dog, man.
If Dexter was doing his math right, he'd gone about three years without getting tossed through a plate glass window in a bar. He could see, in his mind, a downcast worker changing the "days without incident" sign from about one-thousand-and-ninety-five to zero. It was an amusing image, far more amusing that what he was actually seeing.
Himself, laying in a pile of broken glass, with a demon leering at him from the ground-floor bar window it had just tossed him out of.
What a smug asshole.
He rose to his knees with a groan, feeling his back pop. He could already feel, in his pocket, his half-pack of cigarettes crushed beyond hope. His flask seemed alright, though, and so he took it out of his jacket pocket and took a drink. He'd like to have been able to get his glass from the bar, but the demon had not been so courteous as to allow him to gather his things before throwing him out of a window.
The thing saw that his only defense, apparently, was a flask. He could feel it sneering at him. It tensed, and so do he. Then, with savage speed, it leapt through the now-empty window frame at him. Dexter didn't even have to focus, the spell came so easily to him. There were plenty of mages who learned all kinds of magic, diversifying their abilities.
Not Dex. He knew one spell, and knew it well.
Instantly, there was a spear in his hand. The demon didn't even have time to be surprised, as it leapt directly onto the tip of the conjured spear. Dexter held the thing aloft for a moment, before slamming it into the ground, withdrawing his spear, and then plunging it back into the demon's throat before it could respond. It was dead, and for the moment, he was safe.
Then, he saw the psy barriers go up, and he was on the wrong side of them.
"Son of a bitch." He mumbled, looking around. Demons, tons of them. People, too, terrified people. He let the spear dissipate, but knew it would only be a matter of time before he had to conjure a different weapon. He sighed. The way he figured, the only way he was getting out of this one would be finding whoever in the hell was responsible for the demons, and dispatching them with the quickness.
He didn't know where such a dickhead would be located, but he figured that it was a pretty good idea to start headed in the general direction that the demons were coming from. He opened his flask and took one last drink, draining it.
"That would be my brother, Delleck." Kaivor sighed, exasperated at the mere thought of him. "He's, ah, energetic." Polite words that belied impolite thoughts. Delleck had a way of getting to him like no one else did. He had a short temper, he knew, but Delleck had a way of shortening it. Only the fact that Delleck was of his own blood kept him from lashing out at him.
He was snapped out of his own musings by Kendra, who moved behind him. He was confused, until he took notice of the commotion.
Rynek Darion...
He was amused, at first, maybe even a little delighted. Some bastard barging into a feast to demand something from the royal family. A man after his own heart, it seemed. He could see pretty quickly, however, that the situation was fast becoming dangerous. His eyes darted around, once again taking stock of the room and its exits.
Then a man that had mocked Rynek had some unlucky smaller Drakkan by the face. Kaivor had done his research. Chances were that he might've recognized the man, had the brute's hand not been in the way. When the body fell to the floor, there was little enough face for Kaivor to try and recognized. He looked at the dead man and his cast aside bride with something almost like pity.
What a waste.
Kaivor's brows raised of their own accord when he heard the brute's name. Ultair. He knew it, of course. His father had told him all manner of stories. His father had been terrified of the Berserker, and so had Kaivor, as a child. He didn't know how true his father's stories were, but the name made him uneasy.
He looked back at the dead man's bride, and he looked over his shoulder to see Kendra there.
"Stay close." He said, perhaps a bit more gruffly than he intended. As much as he wanted to leave, he couldn't without Delleck. Plus, he couldn't help but want to see how things ended up for Rynek. He settled down a bit once the Ultair was headed away. "Don't worry, he's leaving." Though his voice was steady, it felt like he was speaking to himself as much as Kendra.
Hod makes Kaivor nervous. He cautions Kendra to stick close to him, but calms down once the threat is on his way out. Also, he privately roots for Rynek.
Orrin looked and sounded horrified, his mouth agape. He looked like someone had told him that he had a minute to live, instead of a minute to catch his breath. Then, he closed his eyes, and a blissful calm came over him. A broad smile lit up his face and, for the next few moments, he forgot that he was surrounded by other students.
"One minute! Of course! One minute is just long enough to get loose!"
He turned his neck to the left and to the right, audible pops sounding off as he did so.
"Yes! Loose...loose and..." He twisted at the hips, and a chorus of defeaning cracking sounded as his back popped. "...limber!"
You actually just said that out loud, didn't you?
He looked down at the ground, face burning a bit.
You only get one chance to make a first impression.
He gulped, looking for somewhere to flee to. He found his safe harbor in the form of three students. A blonde-haired boy with pants in a state of disrepair, a faunus girl, and a girl with white hair. He tried to think of the lesson he'd learned from the "limber" incident just moments ago.
Be cool. He thought for a moment. Do I say 'hi' or 'hello?" His eyes widened. No! Of course! All the coolest hunters say...
Kaivor’s eye twitched ever-so-slightly as Gaelnesh walked away. There was much he had wanted to say, but little enough time to say it. His rational mind told him this was a good thing, that it had been smart of him to offer nothing but a terse nod and some succinct words of gratitude. So, he took long, slow breaths. Finally, he sighed, the twitching ceasing.
In lieu of a proper guard, he’d brought his oldest brother, Delleck. Dell was younger than he by about thirty years, and the older of his younger two brothers. A good fighter with a thick head, Dell had just enough tact to keep silent while Gaelnesh was present, but not so much as to keep him from voicing his thoughts when he’d gone.
“Fucking prick.” He muttered, only just audible. Kaivor allowed himself a brief chuckle. Their father had called Gaelnesh all sorts of things, but ‘prick’ was a favorite. “Kai, you lucky bastard.” Kaivor was a confused for a moment, but it didn’t take him long to understand. He sighed, shot his brother a look, and turned to examine the bride he’d been almost too preoccupied to notice. As he did, the corner of his mouth twitched upwards, something almost resembling a smile. It passed quickly.
She undid her hair and spoke.
"I am Kendra Riu Bell, of Haarale."
At least Gaelnesh has good taste, he thought.
"and what might I call you, M'lord?"
“I am Lord Kaivor Igvrius.” He said, flatly, formally, awkwardly. He, admittedly, hadn’t put much thought into how he’d act around his bride. His father had always been harsh to his brides, but they’d all died almost as soon as they’d given birth. He decided to lighten up, just a bit. “You will take pains to not follow my brother’s example. Never call me Kai.” The words were commanding, perhaps, but his tone was light. “You may call me ‘Kaivor,’ if you wish. Otherwise, I do believe that ‘Lord Husband’ or ‘Lord Igvrius’ will be fine.”
“Well, that’s all well and good.” Delleck roughly threw his arm around Kaivor’s shoulder. “But, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a feast to enjoy.” He let go of Kaivor, turned on his heel, and scampered off to go, most likely, to drink himself into a stupor. Kaivor sighed in exasperation.
“Tell me, Kendra.” Kaivor turned to her, and then looked around at the feast. “Are you hungry?”
Kaivor privately directs some his anti-royal angst at Gaelnesh. He talks with his brother a bit before his bride greets him. Broseph goes off to party, and Kaivor figures that now is as good of a time as any to eat.
Aryll had begrudgingly left the springs, disappointed that her attempted conversation with the girl who’d stood had been cut short. She did as she was told, and though she felt compelled to tell the guards exactly where they could shove their commands, she didn’t. She couldn’t tell if the desire to resist being overcome by a sense of self-preservation was an actual conflict, or just a repeated pattern of cowardice.
She struggled with that all the way to the capital, once again retreating inward. She spoke nary a word, only nodding and occasionally grunting in acknowledgement the few times she was directly spoken to by the guards.
She only really started paying attention to her surroundings when she was yanked out of a line by the younger of the two princes and brought before a younger-looking Drakkan. He was handsome, she had to admit, and he certainly seemed less… severe than some of the other Drakken she’d seen. Still, though, she couldn’t suppress the bitterness that rose in her throat. It burned and she wanted to scream.
She bit her tongue, and the pain brought her back to reality. She didn’t speak, didn’t look at him. Instead, she kept her eyes trained firmly on the ground. If she spoke, her voice might break, and she wouldn’t let the Drakkan hear that. She clenched her fists, and tried to keep her hands from shaking. It might’ve been out of fear.
Or anger.
Aryll gets bitter, plays the quiet game with Zevi.[Summary]
Aryll had always considered herself a social creature, but fear and despair had a way of making some people retreat inwards. It was only natural, she supposed, but she just didn’t feel like herself. Ever since she’d bowed to the Drakkan out of fear and saved her own skin, she’d scarcely spoken a word. Not through lessons, not through the night, and certainly not at breakfast. She’d directed that energy normally reserved for speaking to her thoughts. Her mind had few enough kind words.
Coward. She was still kicking herself over her refusal to stand, but couldn’t help but feel relieved after seeing what had happened to the protesters. She felt guilty, craven.
What would father think? Perhaps it was the naivete of youth, but as far as Aryll was concerned, her father was the strongest person she knew. Not perfect, she was old enough to know that. He’d taught her about the importance of self-sufficiency, of strength while simultaneously trying to shield her from the world. Her father would be horrified at her current situation, but she knew that he’d also want his daughter to be brave. Would he be disappointed?
She was glad for the hot springs. It rekindled some anger, that she’d been treated so poorly that a bath was cause for celebration, but it didn’t it stop her from smiling to herself as she finally dropped her towel to the side and lowered herself into one of the deeper pools. There, she was content to submerge herself in the water with some of the other, more introverted gems.
She watched with a slight smile as the splashing fight started, feeling some of the tension leave her shoulders, even though she wasn’t actively involved in it.
Eventually, another gem made her way to their pool. Aryll recognized her, one of those who’d stood in the dining hall. It would’ve been easy to remain silent and just enjoy the water, but maybe some part of her regular personality was still there. She turned to the newcomer.
“You were one of those who stood, right?” She asked, earnestly. She’d tried to speak conversationally, but some her admiration must’ve slipped into her words. “Does- does it still hurt?”
Aryll snaps out of self-pity to smile at pool hijinks before awkwardly speaking to Onyx. [Summary]
Edric and Azamor thought as one, their temporarily-unified mind running on one track.
Our sword.
It had been foolish, they realized, not to have their sword on them. More than foolish, idiotic. It was difficult for them to discern which of their thoughts were Azamor's and which were Edric's, but it seemed as though those fragments of oneness that belonged to Azamor blamed Edric for not having the sword, and Edric's fragments were defensive. After all, it was an International Expo, not the open road. It seemed silly to carry around a sword.
Stupid.
It was a good thing that Azamor had convinced Edric to keep their dagger on them. There were demons in the dozens around them, but they ignored most of them, single-mindedly heading toward the rental locker where they were keeping Edric's sword. Those that got directly in their way were quickly felled with savage precision, mostly courtesy of Azamor's countless years of experience with all manner of weaponry.
Both would be more comfortable with a sword in their hands. Once they got the sword, they wouldn't need to maintain the Duality.
She barely attempted to keep the disdain off of her face. The high prince of these damn mongrels was here? Oh, how she’d like to give him a piece of her mind! She’d been forced from her home, her life, among strangers! She’d been given these rough garments, the food that her nerves wouldn’t let her swallow, and those damned looks of superiority from the guards she dared to make eye contact with.
And there was the architect of it all, or one of them. Or, perhaps he played no part in it, but if he demanded that the assembled women bow, then he was certainly not acting against it. She wished, very briefly, that she had the courage to leap over the table and wrap her hands around his throat, but it was for the best that she didn’t.
The courage to fight, it seemed, was also a desire to die.
Still, she looked at some of the other girls, the ones standing. She hadn’t bothered to learn their names, having been too busy sulking to socialize, but now she found herself inspired by them. After all, if all of them stood, they couldn’t rightly kill all of them, could they? Where would they get their brides, then? She stood, jaw set, defiant, until a sickening thought forced its way into her mind.
They can’t kill all of you, but they could just kill you.
And then another thought, one that made her chest ache a bit.
Sigmund…
The defiance left her, then, like air from a balloon. So long as she still lived, it was her duty to keep herself that way. For her father, for her mother. For Sigmund. She had to get back, survive long enough to find an opening.
She looked down, not daring to meet the eyes of the girls that had the bravery to stand. There was shame, then, and a feeling that she’d let them down. She slowly, haltingly lowered herself to her knees and then trained her eyes firmly on the ground.
And there was the anger, again. For once, it wasn’t at the Drakken, but at herself.
Coward.
Aryll intends to join the standing club, but wusses out after a brief show of defiance and goes right back to being pissed in silence. [Summary]
Železna Kri was not exactly as he’d remembered it, from almost 170 years ago, but it wasn’t radically different. He’d only ever been in the city during Choosings, and so the hustle and bustle in the streets was nothing new. There was an air of importance that he didn’t much like.
But, then, he didn’t like a lot of things.
There was something almost surreal about the markets, when he got to thinking about them. So many things from so many places, all congregated into one dusty city.
It was unnatural.
He didn’t like it, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t use it. Though, today, nothing in the street stalls had grabbed his eyes. He had plans to make a purchase, or at least attempt to. It had come to his attention that the younger Evrenarth son had, in his possession, beasts. They were vicious, he was told.
Perfect.
Doubtless, Ineraz wouldn’t have many of the beasts on him. Kaivor was fine with waiting for an order. So, he stood outside the gates of the Evrenarth estate, hoping that the guard he’d spoken to had actually delivered his name and message to Ineraz, instead of leaving him to stand out there like a fool.
Lord Igvrius internally complains about some of the issues he sees in Železna Kri and, by extension, Drakken society. Also he buys some animals.[Summary]