Honestly I was relieved to hear he was driving, just because my old truck could go out on me any day and it could use a break. Course I’d been saying that for a year now and she was still running, so I shouldn’t say that. If I remember right it still ran for quite some time after that day.
The ride was as comfortable as ever, most of it anyway. I told him a little about my friends in town, though a lot of the people my age had already left for bigger and better things. There was even one who had a child on the way, something that reminded me of how old we were all getting. I assumed it was what brought up his next question…what was my plan.
I fidgeted in my seat, my heart sinking a little. It wasn’t his fault, it was a valid question and one that I had been thinking about more and more lately. “I don’t know,” I murmured, scooting down in the seat enough to put my feet up on the dashboard, shoes already off. I was a country girl through and through. “If I were to do something else…I don’t know what it would be,” I answered honestly, thankful he was patient enough to stay silent while I spoke slowly, choosing to be honest with him. “I usually tell everyone I’m perfectly happy where I am, and there’s truth to that but…” I sighed, looking out the window as he drove on. “What would I do, anyway? I don’t know what my strengths are besides dancing, but that’s just a hobby.” I turned to look at him, putting my feet down.
“I…I’m just not motivated to get a huge job where everyone looks up to me. I like taking care of people, making them happy and seeing their smiles. It’s simple, but I don’t need complicated to be content.” Another pause. “I like to cook. But okay, say I become a cook at the pub. That’s not much better. I’m destined to a small, getting nowhere job until I get over moving away all by myself. One day I just need to suck it up and leave, get over not knowing anyone around me. You do it all the time, why can’t I?” It was obviously I had been thinking about it a lot, and had no one to tell. Seeing other places sounded great…if my whole town, or at least my family went with me. But that wasn’t possible, obviously.
“No idea where I’d go, though. Maybe somewhere warmer.” Still, this didn’t answer my problem about a career choice. “Can I tell you something a little silly?” I asked, biting my lip nervously. “All I want is to be a stay at home mother like my mom was to me until Dad left. It has everything I love- taking care of a family, cooking, making others happy.” I wrapped my arms around myself nervously, afraid he would think of it as a weak choice. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want kids for a long time, but…it sounds like a nice, distant dream. Problem is you have to get married for that,” I grinned, wrinkling my nose at the idea. “And we’ve already talked about how that’s not happening.”
Getting that off my chest felt nice, but it caused me to clam up for the rest of the drive to our destination. When we got to the park I jumped out as soon as he turned the engine off. “I haven’t been to this place since I was a kid. We used to go every summer,” I told him, running up to the big sign welcoming visitors. “Get my picture so you’ll remember I came with you!” I called to him with a grin, the light breeze blowing my hair. It made me wonder if rain really was coming later that day.
I stood on the short stone wall surrounding the large sign, leaning against the wood with a smile. “You’re a tourist, so we have to act like it if only for a minute,” I laughed. “Hey, can I take a picture of you later?” I would wait for the perfect setting and background to do so, I decided.