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5 days ago
Current Make it clear that you don't need him to be reading Dante tomorrow. Also suggest it would be fun if you had a private language that you could use to mock English speakers in secret.
5 likes
5 mos ago
Luckily history suggests an infinite ability for people to be shit heads ;)
1 like
1 yr ago
Achmed the Snake
1 like
2 yrs ago
It's kind of insane to me that people ever met without dating apps. It is just so inefficient.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
One, polyamory is notoriously difficult to administer
4 likes

Bio

Early 30's. I know just enough about everything to be dangerous.

Most Recent Posts

"Stars-a-fucking-bove!" Molly shrieked as the bullet ripped past her, the air rippling with ballistic shock. She leaped back in an effort to avoid both bullet and flying machine parts. Spinning around she planted her hands on her hips and glared in the general direction of the sniper.

“Hey! Tall, dark, and skulking! Ever try taking a piss without holding onto your fucking gun?” she snapped.

“Wait, that metaphor was badly mixed… and maybe racist? Do they piss?” she asked her other two companions with a concerned look.
In Penny's Pencils 25 days ago Forum: The Gallery
Molly cut her eyes back at the burning truck, she reached into the back and pulled a fortune cookie from a head shriveling plastic bin and pulled it open. She cracked it open and chewed on the tasteless paste that masquerades as a cookie. She chewed on it as she walked across to Cho and toed him with her flight boot.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" she asked Silas pointedly. She peeled open the printed fortune as she listlessly masticated the cookie.

Things will shortly get completely out of hand.

"Great," Molly said as she scraped tacky cookie residue off her teeth with her tongue, her hands crumpling up the paper and tossing it away.

"Well hello there," she said to the ur-bot, her own ur-bot clambered up onto her shoulder. RU-OK still had hold of the chopsticks, one of which had broken in half in the crash. The miniature robot flashed an angry face on it's LCD screen and held the long chopstick over it's head like a sammuri sword.

"Oh be nice, you are as bad as tall dark and skulking back there," she scolded the ur-bot.

"Hey there little guy," she cooed.
The suit that the sartorial staff outfitted Alcander in would have paid the salary of a senior Castellion for a year. Impeccably fitted with last minute micro tailoring, it fit the probator like nothing else he had ever owned. It was woven of cerise wormsilk in a shade of green so dark it bordered on black, herring boned with shade the differed so little from the first that it was almost impossible to distinguish with the naked eye. The effect was to give the fabric a slightly rougher look than it's silky smooth texture, the faintest hint of armor and martial prowess. It hung open with an abbreviated cut designed to showcase the shirt of Ilmarvian cotton, bleached until the white bordered on the eye searing before being treated with a very faint golden stain that made it seem to shimmer metallically to the eye. A cummerbund of cloth of gold was provided woven through with green silk thread in an intricate pattern of interconnected knots that curved and looped in an attractive asymmetry. The boots were similarly grand, tigh high black leather with golden buckles worked with the crossed shield heraldry of Navare.

He was ushered by liveried servants into the grandest dining room he had ever seen. The starlight dining room was well named for the ceiling was entirely open to the void save for a shield of armorcrys that was only visible when starlight impinged at just the right angle to make it glitter. This dazzling effect fell to waist height where the walls were replaced with crenelations of sculpted ceramite wrought to resemble the battlements of some ancient tower, complete with torches thrust through sconces. The smoke from the torches left blackish imperfections on the armorcrys as though the flames were somehow casting a shadow. A vast table, thirty feet long on a side, sat on a raised diaz, flanked by great high backed chair with red and cream party colored upholstery. Each placed had been meticulously set with an elaborate service of silver utensils and place cards had been set out. Jonas Horvath - Master of Ordinance, Lyza Keppler - Helmsman, Borgan O'Rouque, Master of Soldiers, at first Alcander thought that he had been summoned early but as his eyes fell on Camilla. She was resplendent in a black and gold tunic with a scarlet cloak and sandals with laces so elaborate they reached her knees. She sat not at the head of the table, but beside it. The card read Orthelleo Balthazar Belchite - Master and Commander.

The sparsely attended dinner represented all that survived of the bridge crew of the Navarre. Camilla stood with her glass and turned to look out into the starfield. Beyond the armorcys were distant flashes of fire. Every few seconds another blossomed bright against the infinite darkness of space.

“What aer thoose?” Alcander asked, straining to make out the objects before they burst into flame.

“Mutineers,” Camilla said, a slight queasiness in her voice despite her best efforts.
“Yer bernin' them?” Alcander asked. He didn’t sound judgemental, only curious, no one could work as long as he had in the Imperial legal system and be squeamish about such things. Camilla sighed as another flash lit the darkness.

“They are going out the airlocks, asphyxia will have killed them long before fire. As they clear the ship's mass shadow the sunlight lights them up,” she explained.

“How meny?” Alcander asked.

“Almost a thousand,” Camilla admitted, “Mostly senior officers in the combat arms.”

“How'd ye noo they aer gelty? Ye couldae asked me to setup trebunals,” Alcander asked, this time a little steel in his voice. Camilla smiled tightly. He believed in justice as much as any man in the Imperial Arbites. Camilla made a sour face and tilted her head towards the astropath.

“We used readers, I had to be sure,” Camilla explained. Two of the junior astropaths had died of their exertions in the gruelling purge. The guilty had been put to hard labor, cleaning the bridge of the tacky sheen of blood and vicera left by the attempted coup. When that labor was complete, they were one by one put out airlocks.

“Assumin' ye can trust the astropaths, o'course,” Alcander pointed out.

“If you cant trust a psyker who can cast their mind out across the warp who can you trust?” Camilla replied, swirling her wine around in her goblet before swallowing it down with an obvious effort. In truth the services of the guild astropathicus were so apolitical that they were as close to reliable as anybody could be. Had Yvraine’s coup succeeded there was no doubt the astropaths would have served her just as loyally. There was a burst of color, a flare rather than another combusting body. There was a sudden mechanical clanking sound as far above them a shield began to clank into place, slowly occluding the starfield beyond.

“Ah notice yer navigator isnae in attendance,” Alcander posited suddenly guarded.

“Xavros, is attending his duties,” Camilla replied, unable to keep a slight guilty undertone from her voice that the probator did not fail to pick up on.

“Ye sed ye would teke me back!” Alcander objected, turning angrily and then realising he was on a void ship, the control of which could not effect. Camilla grinned slightly, seeming like her old self.

“Actually you said that,” Camilla corrected, “I just didn’t correct you.”
“So, yer abducting me? Is tha' the whoole of et?” he demanded. The void shield had cranked almost halfway closed now, closing down as the Navarre boosted out of orbit towards the ecliptic. The bright spots of the planets vanishing towards the empty void.

“I am conscripting you,” she announced, standing up straighter. She turned back to the table where a liveried crew member was laying a place card for Alcander. It read ‘Seneshal’ in bright golden letters.

“Congratulations, please do not resist.”
Good luck on your midterms, @meri!

Once @Penny rolls that extra die from Quintus, I'll write up a post, I just need to see if she'll get that second 6 first.


A second 6! Quintus to the rescue!

roleplayerguild.com/rolls/28570
@merisorry I should have let you post first
Target may be in possession of an infant.
Molly: would it help if I crashed a burning truck into it?
“We appear to be on fire,” Quintus dead panned, his eyes flickering briefly to the spreading grease fire in the rear of the truck.

“I’m always on fire baby!” Molly whopped, as she careened through traffic at suicidal speed, the food truck began to lose manueverabilty as it converted the power of its big engines to momentum but if t his bothered the pilot she showed no sign of it. Molly’s eyes were wide and bright as she flicked switches and pulled ancient breakers to dump power from the powerful refrigerators into the engine. A civilian air bike swerved desperate and struck them a glancing blow, sending it careening through the glass window of a store that sold small xenos pets with a crash of shattering ceramic and the deafening caws of a hundred species of upset aliens. The truck fishtailed slightly toppling a huge stack of folded food cartons into the greasefire. Moments later the all but runaway truck was trailing a fluttering stream of burning papers, each with a holographic dragon fluttering spastically.

“I advise…” Quintus began as Molly whipped through an intersection, barely avoiding a dozen lethal collisions and smashing a neon sign for exotic dancers into glowing shards of light.

“All full ahead and damn the torpedos!” Molly screamed, cackling with insane glee the truck, engine screaming on override, struck the side of Cho-Tyrek’s bike with a crash of rending metal and plastec.


"Fuck that baby." Everyon with guns apparently.
The air crisped carbs crunched pleasantly in Molly’s mouth as she dexterously maneuvered the suey sticks to collect more from the colorful paper cartoon. The design was a golden dragon laid on in cheap holo-print that seemed to swim around the square cardboard like a particularly demented eel. It was a stock design used by almost every fast food vendor in the sector. She turned away from the battered hover truck, with its neon sign blazing ‘Authentic Oriental Cuisine’ in eye searing glory.

“See,” she said to Quintus, her voice smug even if a trifle distorted around a mouthful of the tangy, spicy, carbs. “Told you we had plenty of time to…” The comm beeped the alert and a moment later the sound of blaster fire whined across it with spiteful attenuation. Quintus arched his ‘I told you so’ eyebrow, Molly’s least favorite of his eyebrows. She dropped the carton but her Ur Bot, jokingly christened RU-0K, who was perched on her shoulder, snatched it and the sticks from the air and continued to feed Molly as she looked around in panic. She made a half hearted swipe but the bot continued to shovel noodles into her mouth. The quest for munchies had carried them six blocks from where they were notionally on watch, and now it looked like it had all dropped into the pot.

“ Ee nee wheals,” Molly sputtered, then spun back to the holofood truck, finally managing to get the offending Ur Bot to pause it’s force feeding if not drop it’s prize. Molly pulled open the cab and climbed in, cast her eyes back to the startled proprietor in his grease stained apron.

“Citizen… we need your truck,” she announced as Quintus piled into the cab and added his much more intimidating glare.


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