Too loud. Too bright. Her head droops and her eyes find the floor so they don't have to watch anything more complicated than her feet. Her ears sink lower, and lower, and lower, until they are squashed flat against her skull. It doesn't help. A lifetime's worth of context floods her mind, and the more she realizes how much of her life was spent in a washed out muted hellhole the harsher and more overwhelming her reality becomes.
Put her back. Put her back, please. Mosaic was a dumbfuck peasant girl but at least she didn't have to be so aware of what the air tasted like. At least she didn't find these lights so glaring that the pain made her nauseous. Put her back. Please, please put her back. Stupid fucking Lethe. Stupid gods damn--
Bella breaks into a coughing fit. Her ribs feel like they are turning into dust from the stress of it.
Her left foot rises, but her toes drag across the floor. It stomps back down as if she'd dropped it off a shelf anyway. The right foot follows but all it does is scrape along behind. Her tail is so limp that it's dragging across the ground, over sharp rocks and pungent grasses and too cold water without the strength to keep itself from staining and catching on literally everything.
Her arms aren't working. One of them is so useless that all she can do with it is flop it over the shoulder of the beautiful woman carrying her and watch it dangle there like a mutilated lure trying to catch a particularly ugly fish. She can't feel it at all. Never mind what's happened to her claws, she's not sure it even has fingers anymore. Her useful arm isn't much better. All it can do is ache and cling to a better woman.
Bella forces her head to rise. She forces exhausted, half blind eyes to look at the painful radiance she's propped up on. She forces herself to smell again, and not just breathe. Though the air is thick with the herbaceous notes still clinging to her tail, with the sting and half peppery aftertaste of spent SP materials, through the protest of earth and the loud cry of sap dripping like blood over everything and the pungent, disgusting musk of wolf sweat that's just sitting over everything in front of and around her right now, there is still a note she can't quite place. Enough to be wrong. But not wrong enough to be right.
Someone is missing. Someone is here. Her vision blurs with salt and tears on top of simple weariness.
"I really f--" Bella rasps her way into a coughing fit. Her legs go so limp she has to cling to the person around her through the cloak that's muting the world just enough to make it bearable. Hot guilt and embarrassment rushes through her to see how eagerly her one good hand feels for every little curve and tries to push her fingers through that cascade of golden hair, "Fff, Gods. I, I fucked up again. Didn't I?"
Tears turn to crying. The pain can't make her stop. Bella trembles and twitches so hard that it forces the pair of them to stop. Which is better than moving. Which is worse. Waves of ice and needles ripple out from her chest but all she wants to do is be here and feel it happen. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She needs to say things. Needs to ask.
"I wanted to... look for you. I know I did. But I didn't... remember how. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I! Are you?"
She sniffs. She stiffens. She tries to push away and stand under her own proud power for just a moment but it only sends her to her knees. She looks up at the golden princess, the last symbol of the Empire she was raised to serve, and her lips tremble.
"Please. Are you real? Please stay. Please don't go. Whatever you, where you're going, I'll! I've lost you so many times. I can't...
"I can't do it again."
Put her back. Put her back, please. Mosaic was a dumbfuck peasant girl but at least she didn't have to be so aware of what the air tasted like. At least she didn't find these lights so glaring that the pain made her nauseous. Put her back. Please, please put her back. Stupid fucking Lethe. Stupid gods damn--
Bella breaks into a coughing fit. Her ribs feel like they are turning into dust from the stress of it.
Her left foot rises, but her toes drag across the floor. It stomps back down as if she'd dropped it off a shelf anyway. The right foot follows but all it does is scrape along behind. Her tail is so limp that it's dragging across the ground, over sharp rocks and pungent grasses and too cold water without the strength to keep itself from staining and catching on literally everything.
Her arms aren't working. One of them is so useless that all she can do with it is flop it over the shoulder of the beautiful woman carrying her and watch it dangle there like a mutilated lure trying to catch a particularly ugly fish. She can't feel it at all. Never mind what's happened to her claws, she's not sure it even has fingers anymore. Her useful arm isn't much better. All it can do is ache and cling to a better woman.
Bella forces her head to rise. She forces exhausted, half blind eyes to look at the painful radiance she's propped up on. She forces herself to smell again, and not just breathe. Though the air is thick with the herbaceous notes still clinging to her tail, with the sting and half peppery aftertaste of spent SP materials, through the protest of earth and the loud cry of sap dripping like blood over everything and the pungent, disgusting musk of wolf sweat that's just sitting over everything in front of and around her right now, there is still a note she can't quite place. Enough to be wrong. But not wrong enough to be right.
Someone is missing. Someone is here. Her vision blurs with salt and tears on top of simple weariness.
"I really f--" Bella rasps her way into a coughing fit. Her legs go so limp she has to cling to the person around her through the cloak that's muting the world just enough to make it bearable. Hot guilt and embarrassment rushes through her to see how eagerly her one good hand feels for every little curve and tries to push her fingers through that cascade of golden hair, "Fff, Gods. I, I fucked up again. Didn't I?"
Tears turn to crying. The pain can't make her stop. Bella trembles and twitches so hard that it forces the pair of them to stop. Which is better than moving. Which is worse. Waves of ice and needles ripple out from her chest but all she wants to do is be here and feel it happen. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She needs to say things. Needs to ask.
"I wanted to... look for you. I know I did. But I didn't... remember how. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I! Are you?"
She sniffs. She stiffens. She tries to push away and stand under her own proud power for just a moment but it only sends her to her knees. She looks up at the golden princess, the last symbol of the Empire she was raised to serve, and her lips tremble.
"Please. Are you real? Please stay. Please don't go. Whatever you, where you're going, I'll! I've lost you so many times. I can't...
"I can't do it again."