Name: Cletus Hickman
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Physical Description: Standing at 5'10", Cletus is not particularly imposing. He is the product of a healthy diet consisting of beer and beef jerky, almost exclusively. Portly, unkempt and shrouded in odor that could make a person suddenly lose their sense of location, Cletus is certainly impressionable when you first meet him. With a wardrobe that includes overalls, 1 of 2 shirts that he rotates around during the week and a cap, it's not hard to recognize this man from a distance. He almost always looks the same as he did the day, the month, the year before.
Applied Position: Pump Attendant
REASON FOR EMPLOYMENT: In Cletus' words: "The beer ain't gonna pay for itself." Not exactly a go-getter, the man took a job at the gas station because no one else wanted him. Despite his efforts in various interview processes to educate his potential employers about government conspiracies including, but not limited to, mind controlling nano bots that are injected into your blood when you vaccinate, how Mark Zuckerberg is actually a member of the Reptilian race and Facebook is his way of creating an index of all living humans, and how ghosts aren't really dead people (just flashes of other humans living in a parallel dimension), it always somehow resulted in him getting passed over or quickly terminated. That was until he came to Gas-Way.
BUDGETING: Cletus' expenditures all involve the 3 B's; Beer, Beef Jerky and Boobs. Despite his dashing appearance and suave charm, Ol' Clete has never been accused of being a ladies man. Instead, his courtship of the fairer sex often involves poles and dollar bills.
LIKES: The 3 B's explained above as well as NASCAR, InfoWars and cat videos
DISLIKES: "Funny Folk", the Illuminati, Reptilians and taxes
TRINKETS: One multi-tool that he keeps in his side pocket, one wrench that he has secured in a loop on his overalls and a nudey magazine rolled up and tucked in his back pocket.
With 2 years out of 4 of a high school education under his belt, Cletus' professional resume is largely undocumented. Realizing he could not sustain a living by solely changing buddies' brakes in their driveway or fixing broken lawn mowers, Cletus branched out to various mechanic shops. While his work was on point, his personality was not which always left him back out on the streets within weeks. Finally he found a home at the Gas-Way where he was kept mostly away from people, telling his stories of impending invasion to the pumps and the refuse.
SKILLS AND QUALIFICATIONS
Mechanically Savvy > Put him in front of a computer and Cletus is destined to go crosseyed. Bring him a beater that won't start and he'll have her purring within a week.
Simple, but Obedient > Cletus knows he's not a leader and while he's also not very self motivated, he will perform the tasks he is assigned, typically without question.
Emotionally Impervious > Criticize him, insult him, degrade his station... Cletus, like the honey badger, don't care. His short attention span and lack of empathy makes him emotionally invincible.
Paranoid > Cletus will converse with anyone and, yet, trust no one. Willing to believe any conspiracy theory presented to him, the good ol' boy delights in the mistrust of society and denounces anything that sounds suspiciously like malarkey such as science, the government and glutens.