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6 yrs ago
The most common color for highlighters is yellow because it doesn’t leave a shadow on the page when photocopied
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9 yrs ago
40000 Americans are injured by toilets each year
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9 yrs ago
A strawberry is not an actual berry, but a banana is.
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9 yrs ago
No one knows who invented the fire hydrant because its patent was burned in a fire
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9 yrs ago
Sea otters hold hands while sleeping so they don’t drift away from each other
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The next morning...

Dumhuvud woke first the next morning. Unlike other mercenaries who drowned their sorrows or commemorated their survival with mead, the Cat-Kicker stayed amazingly sober. The warehouse was semi-hospitable after a lighting a fire. Dumhuvud didn't both to chew out the shivering men on fire hazards, because gods knew he himself needed warmth as well.

He strolled carefully between the haystacks, stepping over still sleeping men and occasionally not-so-accidentally stepping on one of them. Farid was snoring close to the locked door, with a mug of something beside him. Dumhuvud grinned and kicked it over, splattering some on Farid's face. Like Jonimir, Farid stirred but otherwise remained asleep. It felt like a repeat of Jonimir. Dumhuvud would have been more satisfied should the Redguard opened his eyes in shock. Maybe it was some innate Redguard ability to sleep through disturbances; Dumhuvud would try it on an elf or one of the new cats next time.

Anyhow, the Cat-Kicker opened the door and stepped outside. This morning was clear and beside the typical ocean fog drifting in from north-east, Windhelm docks were sunny. However, he had to adjust to seeing with only one eye. The left of his face was a mangled mess of scar tissues and burn marks, with the left eye covered behind an eye patch. Therefore, he had no idea when a hysterical sailor raced off the boat and collided straight on with Dumhuvud.

“Watch your steps.” The Cat-Kicker growled, he seized the sailor's collar and hoisted him in the air. Maybe a morning dip in the water will clear the man's head.

“Please, put me down.” The sailor began, words flew out his mouth faster than ever. “They-are-coming-two-boats-sunk-need-to-warn-attack!”

“Spit the crap out of your mouth.” Dumhuvud dropped the man.

“I'm sorry, but this is real danger.” The sailor pressed on. He took deep breaths to calm himself and spoke with slightly slower rhythm. “I went out with captain Ragna's fishing party early, three boats, Sea of Ghosts, right before sunrise.”

“What?” Dumhuvud groaned.

“There were strange vessels out there, ships with hulls made completely from metal, and there were more than fifty of them.” The sailor gasped. “They came from the east, but they were not Morrowind ships. We tried to avoid them but they attacked us, with ice shards shooting out of holes on their hulls. Captain Ragna and hauler Gjord's ships were torn apart, our decks are leaking but most of my men were lucky to survive.”

“This is a waste of my time...” Dumhuvud fumed, his typical frown returning.

“Listen to me, you vapid dolt! Look at what's left of my ship!” The sailor dragged Dumhuvud's head to where a beat-up fishing vessel docked. The ship had major breaches in its hull, and sabrecat sized ice shards still impaled on it; how it still floats was a miracle. “Their warships are nothing like I seen on the seas of Tamriel and they are hellbent on wrecking everything in their way! The delta, I bet they're crossing it as we speak. We need to warn the jarl, warn the entire city about an attack.”

A small band of mercenaries emerged from the warehouse at that moment. At the same instance, the sailor's mates scurried around the dock shouting to everyone in sight. “We are under attack!” “Hide the elders and children!” “To arms!”

A serene morning was just the calm before the storm, calamity was at the horizon.


Dough-Boy caught words of what happened first. He passed it on to Ashav, who dozed off in a corner of the tavern last night. The company commander, recognizing an urgency from years of fighting, immediately felt Yokudan adrenaline clearing his mind of the hangover. He rushed into Edith's room, where the second bed was given to Ariane instead of Sevine. Ariane still had her weariness but Edith leaped out of her bed and donned her armor in minutes. When the three of them met with up with Daelin outside, they were joined by a black-haired Nord teenager. This person was the buddy to the jarl's son, not exactly an authoritative office but someone in position know things. She told Ashav the jarl was notified, and with the knowledge of a mercenary group in town, Ashav and his men were contracted for defense.

Then Dough-Boy ran again. This time, he was given a checklist of persons scattered around town. Keegan was the first to be found. After the awkward introduction to Ariane last night, he excused himself to rent a room. However, Candlehearth's rooms were full, so he bunked in a Dunmer hostel instead. His sleep was restless, Keegan laid awake half of the night, and when the shriek that was Dough-Boy assaulted his eardrums, Keegan felt like a cold bucket of water dumped on a pre-soaked man.

For his next stops, Dough-Boy raced to where Leif, the newcomer, lived. He banged door several times, and without waiting long for a reply, sprinted for the following destination. "Arise! Behold glorious battle!" Dough-Boy beamed, seeing the opportunity to take part in his first fight, he was unseemly cheerful to the point where ancient war poem were quoted. These recited lines became so superfluous by the time Dough-Boy reached Halla's residence, he was mixing up Ysgramor with The Lusty Argonian Maid.

In short of an hour since he started, Ashav roused awake his subordinates from the inn, and the last of the city dwellers were just arriving behind an gleeful Dough-Boy. Most of them lacked enthusiasm. After all, those sane enough to survive combat rarely left jovial. They met in front of Candlehearth, on a busy street where guards were scrambling left and right. Dumhuvud also brought his lackeys with him, since the time was between nine and ten hours past midnight, most in the warehouse were no longer slumbering. They could not even if they wanted to, as guards and local citizens ringed bells and blew signal horns; early morning was uncharacteristically loud, a sight unseen since the rebellion days.

Ashav directed Dumhuvud and several others to liaison with the jarl. His reason, or at least the plain one, was that the Cat-Kicker not yet recovered from his injury. The rest followed Ashav to the docks, who jogged with blank concentration masking his wrinkled feature; outwardly concentrated on the events to come. In reality, scant were the ways of preparation. Ashav had exchanged information briefly with a guard lieutenant, and then consulted with Daelin, Edith and Ariane. They decided to aid the guards on the docks, to protect it against the harm-doers. Some men spent the night in the warehouse, so that was where they headed to rally everyone.

The plan lasted till they descended from the gates onto the docks. The fog was no more, and across the unobstructed waters flowing into sea, a dozen ships encased in gray metal plates cruised toward Windhelm. There were no time to prepare; the enemies have arrived.
I do have a post ready, but @haeo asked for more time to show Utu-ja is not anti-social.

Here's the thing. If you are in the middle of writing, let me know, I will let you wrap it up first. If not, you can always do a retroactive piece.

And Roze, a line of space after each paragraph, makes all our lives easier.
Technically, modern day human can live to 100+ given the right conditions. But why is the average lifespan 70 something? Because few have access to the perfectly optimal conditions.

Same with elves on Tamriel, they have the potential to live up to the Millennium. But with all the disasters, wars and diseases, few get to see that being realized.

Drawing another parallel to real life; in that many seniors of advanced ages (80+) require some sort of assistance to get by daily. Things like pacemakers, wheelchairs and hearing aids are essential. The equivalent on Nirn is restoration, which most super-grandpas like Neloth utilize to stay healthy. Again, a bottleneck here. Not everyone have access to these.
@oak7ree You got three days to post something, or your spot shall be vacated.
The update is ready, though I can hold it if you guys need more time.
Welcome. I see you have choosen my RP as your first. Very wise choice.
Are y'all still accepting characters? I'd be interested in joining B)


Yep, our arms are wide open.

IC info update: In Windhelm, you guys can find notices on bulletins mentioning Solstheim being quarantined. Blacklight warned two dangers present on the island; a Cyrodiilic Disconnect pandemic and occupation by a Sheogorath cult. Locals of Raven Rock have been evacuated, though nothing was said about the Skaal. Ships are warned to stay well away, and those coming close might be prosecuted by the Redoran Fleet.
Cool map bro.
Keegan was shivering, he shook the whole journey. The Reach was cold, Whiterun was cold, and Windhelm's turbulence could out-chill both. Seriously, it was summer, and it was colder than the coldest winter on Alinor. He lived in High Rock, where the final months actually brought snow. But here in Skyrim, flowers blossomed in the field while water froze in nearby pounds.

In spite of his hardships, Keegan just couldn't endure much of mercenary work. He witnessed Lucex quitting at Whiterun, and to be honest, the Altmer considered the same. He earned a decent share, though without the promised bonus, this share would be insufficient to settle his debt. Perhaps the rest would have to come from safer work, something that does not entail the risk of daily dismemberment. He could stop at Whiterun, but before the chance of exploring the city, Madura had whisked their horses away. The journalist, Keegan somehow found him more approachable than most. Members like Farid were too far absorbed in themselves, certain kind as Jorwen were no doubt mourning their friends, and others such Utu-ja just didn't strike the social impression. Keegan noticed a young Altmer woman joining them on their journey, she was apparently rescued and promised a fat reward for her rescuers. He would converse with her but she was too busy leading idiots around with false promises. So as much as Keegan was annoyed by Madura's incessant questioning, he found these interviews a decent way to pass time.

Pondering the question of his past and many more recent problems, Keegan rocked through days of rickety wagon ride and found himself in a barren warehouse. Of course, no one celebrated the works of hired soldiers, no one would bother treating them like regular human, elves or beastfolks needing proper sleep. Now, what truly was miserable was his unruly “comrades”. For some reason, they decided dumping Keegan's food and hygiene items into the port was a humorous jest.

Keegan was not impressed. It was an unfriendly prank at his cost, and it was tempting to repay the favor. Though he could weave some kind of illusion to knock the scoundrels out or make them perform undignified actions, Keegan also weighted the risk of failure which could have himself thrown in with his stuff. That might not be the worst; the others could beat him up for it.

Right, being beat up, that was his lot one hour after. In the hour leading up to him lying helplessly on the floor, Keegan had been scouring Windhelm for replacement supplies. He first went to where the Nords set up shops, but the merchants either have no matching items, or they rejected him on the basis of being “a piss skinned prick”. Funny, how hypocritical for the “pricks” to call others that. Anyways, he diverted for the Gray Quarter, where a Dunmer-ran general goods store still had an open door.

“Hello? Oh! Uh, well, huh, excuse me for a moment.” The store owner, who Keegan caught no more than a glance, stammered. The merchant seemed to be surprised looking at Keegan, and the man looked down behind his counter and disappeared behind a corner.

“Uh, he's here, you should, uh, eh, help him.” The same merchant was apparently nervous over something in the back room.

“Are you alright?” Keegan inquired, first concerned but then worried as two fully armored individuals emerged. They were covered from head to toe in heavy combat gear, with their faces covered he couldn't even make out their race or gender.

“Are you Keegan Vasque?” One of them, a deep voiced man, asked.

“No.” Keegan shook his head, he dared not to make eye contact with their helmet slits. As he backed up nervously towards the door, it opened before Keegan could reach it. Two more people, also clearly armed for a fight, cornered him from behind. “If you'll excuse me, I have to be on my way.”

“Not so fast.” One stood like a brick wall in Keegan's way. This person was shorter than Keegan, but they were wider with brutish muscles. “Don't think you can get away this time.”

These were debt collectors, he ran into folks like them when he escaped from High Rock. “What do you want?” Keegan shivered. Damn it, his legs are shaking.

“You know what we want. Pay up for your crimes.” The leading brute demanded. Behind the row of muscle and iron, the shopkeeper peered carefully around the corner, his gaze darting away from Keegan but conflict could be seen.

“Su-sure, just take my money.” Keegan offered them his pouch coin, the payment for mercenary work. It was hard-earned and all he got to live on. Still, it was better to live poor for a while then not to live at all.

“That's it?” One debt collector sneered as he weighted the pouch and then snatched it away. “We'll consider this your apology for being difficult, now you still need a couple thousand for your crimes.”

How could he whip up thousands of gold coins out of nowhere? What did Horace Fontaine expected? Who in Oblivion carries thousands of septims in their pockets? Keegan had reason, but he understood this situation was an appeal to force. He could not win by the proper way, so he played dirty instead. While the enforcers studied the pouch, Keegan lit up a paralysis spell and fused it into the closest man.

One enforcer collapsed but three more quickly caught on. Keegan bolted for the door while recharging the spell, but in close quarters the brutes got the jump on him, literally. They wrestled him to the ground and restrained his hands. They tied up his wrists and directed his palms in an unoccupied direction. These men knew how to fight a mage.

Yes, present time, Keegan was getting beat up. His helpless body was contrasted with his panicking mind; it race a thousand miles a minute. Could this be the end of Keegan Vasque?

Punches and kicks descended down to his prone body. They struck everywhere and it hurt everywhere. These enforcers used not their weapons, but only their metal covered knuckles and feet. They made sure he turned a ghastly purple but avoided vital organs the same time. Keegan was in pain but a long way from being killed.

Just a minute into his ordeal, someone opened the door and intruded on the scene.

“What is happening?” A woman's voice sounded.

“Don't worry about it.” An enforcer waved her off. “Nothing's happening, be on your way.”

“Why are you crowded around-oh...” The woman's sentence trailed off when she discovered a bruised Altmer on the floor. The enforcers shifted away from Keegan and turned to the woman. They reached for various armaments, and the woman responded with a spell that emitted metallic noise. Two enforcers' weapons disintegrated, and the last one attacked with his dagger. However, the woman called forth a bound sword and parried the dagger away. In the next stroke, she sliced off two fingers from the enforcer.

“Had enough yet?” She taunted. The enforcers hurried off through the door, one of them clasping his bleeding hand while another hauled off the unconscious brute. “By Stendarr, they surely did a number on you.” She said, untying Keegan and helping him up.

To Keegan, the woman was much shorter than he. She was a human, and judging from her lower height and medium complexion, a Breton or Imperial. She wore a sleeveless robe that flowed like a dress and an orange shawl most likely knit from spider silk. Her face was ordinary, her nose was slightly retreating and her ears minor alongside rest of her features. On top of her head was black and short curly hair. She carried no weapon.

“You got here just in time, if you haven't came along...” Keegan uttered, he dared no think otherwise.

“You and me both.” The woman nodded. “I take it shopping here was not too pleasant.” She raised an eyebrow at the cowering merchant, who lowered his head and cowered in a corner.

“No, not really.” Keegan said. He didn't want to bother with this crappy part of town any more. He should get back to a safer place, maybe Ashav, who values his life on the basis of a semi-valuable employee. “I should go now.”

“Just a second.” The woman pulled on Keegan's arm. “We should stick together, in case anything else may hinder us.”

“Fair enough.” Keegan admitted. The encounter left no severe injury, and nothing a healing potion couldn't mend. Nevertheless, he was in neither shape or mood to fend off additional assailants. So they went off on their way. Keegan last saw Ashav heading to Candlehearth, and that's where he will go. The woman also bounded for the same place. Keegan learned her name; Ariane. And when she asked for his, he hesitated for a moment before giving her one his “pseudonyms”.

Behind the largest table was Ashav, sheets of paper splayed about and small groups of awed individuals sat around him. Madura was smiling and wrote quietly in his journal, as he always did when Ashav said anything. Ashav, the man himself, had several flagons placed in front of him. Evidently, he was buzzed with alcohol, and more buzzed than healthy.

“Up your bottoms, I mean, bottoms up. Ah, let us welcome my troops, come sit down.” Ashav slurred. He tried to pull aside a chair, only ended with it tumbling back. He was as loud as his guttural voice could be, but in that drunken moment, the Redguard held everyone's attention. “Meet Keegan Vasque, our very own trickster, and Ariane Fontaine, the, what-do-they-call-you? Musical? Oh right, mystic”

Two of them stared at each other dumbfounded, they finally sat down after Madura pulled the chairs upright. Ashav was already forgetting the newcomers. He blabbered on about a particularly exciting adventure in Black Marsh. Most of the folks around the table, young and callow, were bewildered. Ashav garnered a healthy turn up, and collected assorted talents from the large crowd. Recruits or not, these men and women were lively. Ashav was letting his hair down (figuratively, as he is bald), maybe too much.

“Fontaine, you couldn't be related to Horace, could you?” Keegan breathed nervously.

“He is my uncle.” Ariane wasn't feeling joyous either, she was fidgeting with her showl. “And he mentioned your name at times. The fire starter who burned down a theater, now I know why these brutes were attacking you; they were bounty hunters.”

He gulped, this was going to be a long night.
<Snipped quote by gcold>

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