Awfully presumptuous don't you think? Hasn't even been a day since the last IC post. I'll let @TheUnknowable get his character a word in before I get a response up, then hopefully we can quickly move on to the job.
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Spookbuster
STATUS: Been practicing drawing for a few months now. Biggest tip I can give so far is copy, copy, copy. It really helps you learn the basics in a very hands on way, 7 yrs ago
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Been practicing drawing for a few months now. Biggest tip I can give so far is copy, copy, copy. It really helps you learn the basics in a very hands on way,
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7 yrs ago
Finally caught up on Rick and Morty. Pretty good shit. It's not every day a cartoon reminds me of my existential crisis.
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7 yrs ago
The Boarder Patrol in Vermont has more important matters than illegal Mexicans. They have to stop the White Walkers.
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7 yrs ago
Unborn babies are essentially mech pilots, right?
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7 yrs ago
You know what's worse then radio Country Music? Country Music Radio hosts.
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Glad to hear. Once Monkey posts as well, then I shall. I'm currently working on some ideas for the Empire's campaign in other areas.
The young woman raised an eyebrow as the gruffer looking man that had been sitting with her prospective new employer. He was somewhat more imposing than the other and his cybernetic eye wasn't helping in that department. However, that gruff, intimidating image quickly fell away when he spoke. "Wenn sie auf der suche für ein bessere getränke, junge Mädchen, probieren meine brauen."
She suddenly grinned, then stifled a laugh and shook her head. "Danke. Ihr Deutsch ist nicht besonders gut. You offered your eyebrows to me, but I got the jist of it. Netter Versuch." she said with a small giggle. "So, I can only assume, since you were sitting with the gentlemen who so timidly asked me to help that your part of this 'Salvaging Job' then?"
She suddenly grinned, then stifled a laugh and shook her head. "Danke. Ihr Deutsch ist nicht besonders gut. You offered your eyebrows to me, but I got the jist of it. Netter Versuch." she said with a small giggle. "So, I can only assume, since you were sitting with the gentlemen who so timidly asked me to help that your part of this 'Salvaging Job' then?"
"Hi."
The young woman looked up from her shot and faced the man that had approached her. Her cold blue eyes sizing the man up. "You looking for work?....... I only ask because I'm heading out tomorrow to pull some salvage and I could use someone to help protect me as I haul it back." The girl looked away for a moment, briefly mulling over the proposal, then returned her gaze to the man.
"Well, as much as I like to help poor defenseless salvagers as they pick over some alien ship like some vulture, those alien ships tend to have some serious variations in threats. Some have petty point defense systems that had degrade over the years, while others can deploy kill drones with A grade weaponry that could wipe this pitiful mud hole off the face of the earth. On top of that, raider groups constantly watch potential salvage areas so that when the little caravan goes into the deadly rad/death drone zone, they essentially allow you guys to bring the loot to them" she paused and took another shot. Turning back to the man, she continued, "So cowboy, as I'm sure you're very well aware, there are a lot of variables that we will face going into this." she took another shot.
"But I'll humor you and say this up front. I'll take your offer. And hopefully you can grow a pair and spit it out with a little less hint of pissing yourself." she took another shop. "Oh, and do be quick cowboy, your Amerikana piss vaser is both tasteless and hard hitting."
The young woman looked up from her shot and faced the man that had approached her. Her cold blue eyes sizing the man up. "You looking for work?....... I only ask because I'm heading out tomorrow to pull some salvage and I could use someone to help protect me as I haul it back." The girl looked away for a moment, briefly mulling over the proposal, then returned her gaze to the man.
"Well, as much as I like to help poor defenseless salvagers as they pick over some alien ship like some vulture, those alien ships tend to have some serious variations in threats. Some have petty point defense systems that had degrade over the years, while others can deploy kill drones with A grade weaponry that could wipe this pitiful mud hole off the face of the earth. On top of that, raider groups constantly watch potential salvage areas so that when the little caravan goes into the deadly rad/death drone zone, they essentially allow you guys to bring the loot to them" she paused and took another shot. Turning back to the man, she continued, "So cowboy, as I'm sure you're very well aware, there are a lot of variables that we will face going into this." she took another shot.
"But I'll humor you and say this up front. I'll take your offer. And hopefully you can grow a pair and spit it out with a little less hint of pissing yourself." she took another shop. "Oh, and do be quick cowboy, your Amerikana piss vaser is both tasteless and hard hitting."
*Twiddles Thumbs*
Oh, and sorry if the post is a bit wonkey. Currently on a tablet and I don't do well with touch screen type boards. XD
@WanderingRebel
Alright, now, let me jump to the end of my assessment of your NS so far: I quite enjoyed reading your NS and think its a great idea. An American esq space empire that attempts to be a intergalactic police force as a way to re-brand the word "Conquest" into something more friendly sounding. ITs cool, a great idea. Genuinely good intentions causing complications that lead to your nation essentially annexing a chunk of the planet! I also like the amount of detail you went into with everything.
Now, there are some very serious flaws though. For one, particularly your nation's involvement, you need to rework it in its entirety. This is mainly due to the fact that, on the face of it, you didn't seem to perhaps communicate with your fellow RPers. I think your NS could be a lot better if you actually collaborate with others as it seems you want your nation to be heavily involved, as its been there for the get go. Your involvement describes how your space nation practically took over half a continent and is currently shackled up next to our Maltheciens in the north. The Also, there is a lot of presumed history about Anuria that I think you should have at least run by the GM to see if it fits with the idea he/she had in his head. If it is fine, then by all means, great!
There are things about the NS, seemingly small things, that make a world of difference in NRPs across the board, not just here. Always try to avoid putting sentences or paragraphs that directly characterize your nation to have the best at whatever. Saying things like "Their navy is the strongest most advanced, Largest, best trained, best outfitted, best supplied, Naval force in the known universe," will just initially piss a lot of people off. In any NRP, including this one, your nation will earn that title through the actual RP, not be given to predestine.
Finally, your NS lacks any real... color? Sorry, this may seem really cocky or rude even, for which I have no intention, its just hard to put it any other way. Everything reads to be too sterile, too happy. Of course, I'm not saying that every NS in this RP has to be all about suffering, or corrupt dictatorships, ect. What I'm saying is your nation feels way too perfect, and if that's on purpose to imply that things are actually not all peachy, then it was lost to me.
Anyway, pardon my long post on the matter. Please do not feel shunned or like I'm pushing you away, I am simply trying to help you build an NS more suited for this sort of narrative driven NRP. Yours reads like it was meant for the larger nation building ones, which I do not blame you for. In the end, I guess what I'm trying to say is that about 90% of all of anyone's NS is really there for fluff. A background/origin for your true on the ground or flying through space characters to come from. A little context for why you're here.
Alright, now, let me jump to the end of my assessment of your NS so far: I quite enjoyed reading your NS and think its a great idea. An American esq space empire that attempts to be a intergalactic police force as a way to re-brand the word "Conquest" into something more friendly sounding. ITs cool, a great idea. Genuinely good intentions causing complications that lead to your nation essentially annexing a chunk of the planet! I also like the amount of detail you went into with everything.
Now, there are some very serious flaws though. For one, particularly your nation's involvement, you need to rework it in its entirety. This is mainly due to the fact that, on the face of it, you didn't seem to perhaps communicate with your fellow RPers. I think your NS could be a lot better if you actually collaborate with others as it seems you want your nation to be heavily involved, as its been there for the get go. Your involvement describes how your space nation practically took over half a continent and is currently shackled up next to our Maltheciens in the north. The Also, there is a lot of presumed history about Anuria that I think you should have at least run by the GM to see if it fits with the idea he/she had in his head. If it is fine, then by all means, great!
There are things about the NS, seemingly small things, that make a world of difference in NRPs across the board, not just here. Always try to avoid putting sentences or paragraphs that directly characterize your nation to have the best at whatever. Saying things like "Their navy is the strongest most advanced, Largest, best trained, best outfitted, best supplied, Naval force in the known universe," will just initially piss a lot of people off. In any NRP, including this one, your nation will earn that title through the actual RP, not be given to predestine.
Finally, your NS lacks any real... color? Sorry, this may seem really cocky or rude even, for which I have no intention, its just hard to put it any other way. Everything reads to be too sterile, too happy. Of course, I'm not saying that every NS in this RP has to be all about suffering, or corrupt dictatorships, ect. What I'm saying is your nation feels way too perfect, and if that's on purpose to imply that things are actually not all peachy, then it was lost to me.
Anyway, pardon my long post on the matter. Please do not feel shunned or like I'm pushing you away, I am simply trying to help you build an NS more suited for this sort of narrative driven NRP. Yours reads like it was meant for the larger nation building ones, which I do not blame you for. In the end, I guess what I'm trying to say is that about 90% of all of anyone's NS is really there for fluff. A background/origin for your true on the ground or flying through space characters to come from. A little context for why you're here.
The town's murmurings had started to go up a bit, passing through, following the source. A lone figure, fairly slim and somewhat short walked towards the bar of the town. The doors to the building opened to reveal a young woman. Her icy blue eyes scanned the bar as she walked in, pulling down the face wrap that covered her mouth from the dust. Walking towards the actual bar itself, the young girl began to slowly be noticed. Men began to look up from their drinks and cards, staring at this oddity as she strode up to the bartender. Her stare was unsettling, almost threatening, but the bartender stood his ground and starred right back at her as she took her seat. By the time she had reached the bar, the room's noise had reduced considerably, many watching the stranger, waiting to see what she was. One of the patrons thought to himself that this was like one of those western stories he read from an old book he scavenged, quietly laughing to himself about how cliche the whole thing was.
The woman glanced around the room at the staring eyes, looked to the bartender with her cold stare and, with a strange accent, said, "Do you have any vater?"
The bar broke into laughter and the men went back to their conversations and games. "Erm... no young lady, I don't. I got alcohol of all sorts, but, if you want your..."vater", you go get it at the market."
"Fine, just pour me a shot." The young girl kept on hand on her odd, wood finished rifle and took the drink in the other. While most had returned to what they were doing, some still eyed the girl.
The woman glanced around the room at the staring eyes, looked to the bartender with her cold stare and, with a strange accent, said, "Do you have any vater?"
The bar broke into laughter and the men went back to their conversations and games. "Erm... no young lady, I don't. I got alcohol of all sorts, but, if you want your..."vater", you go get it at the market."
"Fine, just pour me a shot." The young girl kept on hand on her odd, wood finished rifle and took the drink in the other. While most had returned to what they were doing, some still eyed the girl.
Posted! A quick note on that Agent 437 stuff:
It's not uncommon to say the least for the Empire to appear out nowhere and have the ground below them toxic before anyone can blink. Agent 437 is the more commonly used chemical warfare that is highly corrosive. If the enemy is not totally protected, i.e. wearing full body suits and sealed helmets with high resistant filters, they usually die a horrible death of chocking on their own bile as the chemical burns its way through the skin and into the bloodstream. This was specifically launched on the a particular area of the outskirts. Feel free to gauge who or what was out there to actually get hit and whether or not they survived it or not.
Also, Empire forces are now in the air near the city, feel free to engage in creating cinematic puffs of flack and smoke trails from missiles as they arrive! XD
It's not uncommon to say the least for the Empire to appear out nowhere and have the ground below them toxic before anyone can blink. Agent 437 is the more commonly used chemical warfare that is highly corrosive. If the enemy is not totally protected, i.e. wearing full body suits and sealed helmets with high resistant filters, they usually die a horrible death of chocking on their own bile as the chemical burns its way through the skin and into the bloodstream. This was specifically launched on the a particular area of the outskirts. Feel free to gauge who or what was out there to actually get hit and whether or not they survived it or not.
Also, Empire forces are now in the air near the city, feel free to engage in creating cinematic puffs of flack and smoke trails from missiles as they arrive! XD
Sector 47, Combat Zone 5:
A n u r i a
Fleet:
44th Fleet of Karlsland
Unit:
509th Mechanized Truppe
2nd Platoon, Krauft Company
Campaign Objective:
The seizure of the strategic native city of "Kol'Kora"
Black Emptiness... the great expanse of nothingness where great civilizations fruitlessly squabble over the rocks that dot the unending void.... would be the way some bullshit poetic human might put it. That black nothingness actually is holding a lot of something... especially the space over Anuria. Various fleets of all sorts constantly jockeying for superiority over their respected combat zones planetside. When the 44th Fleet appeared suddenly in low orbit over the infamous city of Kol'Kora, the Humans below knew it was over for them. The Unguon was giving them hell enough, but here were the Mechanische.... a race born in hell, thrives and hell, and will bring hell to wherever they fight. The 44th fleet was unique in that it carried one of the most impressive examples of Empire space domination. A massive "Kapital Class" ship, a ship that could easily take on an entire enemy fleet on its own. But it wasn't alone, for this fleet had many supporting ships of all classes. In one such ship, a Sturm Class carrier, was the 509th.... Here is where their incredible story begins....
"Alright Krauft Company! Listen up! The Navy is doing its best right now to gain total orbital dominance over this city, but there getting flak from just about every angle! Its our job to clean their mess up! The Vernichtung have already landed and are going after their objectives. Early reports from both orbital and planetside reconnaissance shows that this city is crawling with both Humans and Eym forces. Currently, we stumbled upon their little conflict between each other, which we shall use to our advantage. Right now the city is in a serious mess." The man talking was CO of Krauft Company, Captain Maklin Hoffmeister. He motioned to the digital map on the screen, showing the city. "The Artillery divisions are launching right now to set up here, here, and here. We're to be deployed to this overlook here on the outskirts to set up an FOB and hold it once 20% of the invasion force is on the ground. The HES Mar, Frackt, and Larft shall be providing air cover as we drop in. Enemy presence in the upper outskirts should be minimal for the time being, but expect counter attacks and raid patrols from both enemies. If they didn't know we're here, they do now." Suddenly the briefing room's light went orange and an alarm began to blare. "Alright people! Let's move!"
Squads pilled into AVC-23 and 28 transports, the hangar filled with the shouts of squad leaders and the chatter of soldiers. The 509th was a newly formed division, many soldiers having never seen combat outside of simulations. Gefreiter(Corporal) Ana Helzts climbed aboard her squad's AVC-23, glancing around at her squad mates. The transport was mostly silent, as the men and women composed themselves for the fight ahead. Their sergeant broke the silence when he walked into the transport, signalling to the co-pilot to close the doors. "Alright squad, when we hit the ground, I want a full 360 around the ship, then once it touches off, we are to immediately move out to phase line alpha, sweep it, then dig in while the engineers build us a new home here." he patted Ana, sitting closest to him, on the shoulder and motioned to the rest of the squad. "We don't fear these xeno bastards, remember that. They. Fear. Us." With that, the sergeant pulled his helmet on and hit the seal as the transport began to fly. "Besides, any bastards in the area are gonna have to deal with Agent 437 long before we get there. Apparently those Vernichtung truppe planted the chemical bombs all over the line and gassed half the suburb. Any exposed organics down there are dead or dying right now."
And he was right, for the 509th would soon wittness first hand the true cruel strength of their Empire at total war.
A n u r i a
Fleet:
44th Fleet of Karlsland
Unit:
509th Mechanized Truppe
2nd Platoon, Krauft Company
Campaign Objective:
The seizure of the strategic native city of "Kol'Kora"
Black Emptiness... the great expanse of nothingness where great civilizations fruitlessly squabble over the rocks that dot the unending void.... would be the way some bullshit poetic human might put it. That black nothingness actually is holding a lot of something... especially the space over Anuria. Various fleets of all sorts constantly jockeying for superiority over their respected combat zones planetside. When the 44th Fleet appeared suddenly in low orbit over the infamous city of Kol'Kora, the Humans below knew it was over for them. The Unguon was giving them hell enough, but here were the Mechanische.... a race born in hell, thrives and hell, and will bring hell to wherever they fight. The 44th fleet was unique in that it carried one of the most impressive examples of Empire space domination. A massive "Kapital Class" ship, a ship that could easily take on an entire enemy fleet on its own. But it wasn't alone, for this fleet had many supporting ships of all classes. In one such ship, a Sturm Class carrier, was the 509th.... Here is where their incredible story begins....
"Alright Krauft Company! Listen up! The Navy is doing its best right now to gain total orbital dominance over this city, but there getting flak from just about every angle! Its our job to clean their mess up! The Vernichtung have already landed and are going after their objectives. Early reports from both orbital and planetside reconnaissance shows that this city is crawling with both Humans and Eym forces. Currently, we stumbled upon their little conflict between each other, which we shall use to our advantage. Right now the city is in a serious mess." The man talking was CO of Krauft Company, Captain Maklin Hoffmeister. He motioned to the digital map on the screen, showing the city. "The Artillery divisions are launching right now to set up here, here, and here. We're to be deployed to this overlook here on the outskirts to set up an FOB and hold it once 20% of the invasion force is on the ground. The HES Mar, Frackt, and Larft shall be providing air cover as we drop in. Enemy presence in the upper outskirts should be minimal for the time being, but expect counter attacks and raid patrols from both enemies. If they didn't know we're here, they do now." Suddenly the briefing room's light went orange and an alarm began to blare. "Alright people! Let's move!"
Squads pilled into AVC-23 and 28 transports, the hangar filled with the shouts of squad leaders and the chatter of soldiers. The 509th was a newly formed division, many soldiers having never seen combat outside of simulations. Gefreiter(Corporal) Ana Helzts climbed aboard her squad's AVC-23, glancing around at her squad mates. The transport was mostly silent, as the men and women composed themselves for the fight ahead. Their sergeant broke the silence when he walked into the transport, signalling to the co-pilot to close the doors. "Alright squad, when we hit the ground, I want a full 360 around the ship, then once it touches off, we are to immediately move out to phase line alpha, sweep it, then dig in while the engineers build us a new home here." he patted Ana, sitting closest to him, on the shoulder and motioned to the rest of the squad. "We don't fear these xeno bastards, remember that. They. Fear. Us." With that, the sergeant pulled his helmet on and hit the seal as the transport began to fly. "Besides, any bastards in the area are gonna have to deal with Agent 437 long before we get there. Apparently those Vernichtung truppe planted the chemical bombs all over the line and gassed half the suburb. Any exposed organics down there are dead or dying right now."
And he was right, for the 509th would soon wittness first hand the true cruel strength of their Empire at total war.
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