Avatar of Sombrero
  • Last Seen: 8 yrs ago
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    1. Sombrero 9 yrs ago
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8 yrs ago
Dammit, smell! Why do you always lie about the taste of things!? Bread is never as good as you say it is! And vanilla extract tastes like petrified ass! PETRIFIED ASS!
3 likes
8 yrs ago
Using a phone on RPG. PROS: You can zoom in! CONS: fucking everything else!
11 likes
9 yrs ago
Glorious Math Teacher: "You know protractors, right? The rules we have for protractors are simple: Freshmen use these, don't put them in your mouth."
6 likes
9 yrs ago
Punching out Nazis and wrestling a yeti, sitting at home with some festive Spaghetti, rigging my boots up with high-power springs... These are a few of my favorite things!
9 likes
9 yrs ago
Still trying to figure out whether the Crusades qualify as actual wars, or a steaming hot mess of clusterfarkery best accompanied by the Benny Hill theme...
3 likes

Bio

I'm here, and I'm stuck in the middle with you.

Most Recent Posts


<Snipped quote by Sombrero>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUrzIUC8g_M&t=82s


Oh god, we definitely need more of THIS Dio, too...
Welcome!

I can't relate much in the way of Jojo, but I do know that, (according to my scant thorough research,) everyone involved turns out to be Dio one way or another. Which is good. He was an excellent singer, the world needs more Dio, and I'm glad they have an anime portraying this.
One day I was eating a really good apple with one hand while typing in my "Mega-Lore" fantasy document with the other one. Incidentally, I had the wild idea of an adventuring party of medieval Food and Drink Critics finding each other in a tavern (Because there is no way more perfect than that!) in a highly developed, Game-of-Thrones-but-High-Fantasy* world. It would be a culinary rp, but with plots and politics on the side as "esteemed" critics start sharing tables (By accident or on purpose) with important and/or dangerous people, and becoming accidentally embroiled in political schemes, swept up in dungeoneering operations, and having little-to-no skills to deal with it, but being able to write to their paper about their experiences. (And possibly take credit for everything, if they're glib enough.)

Every region has different cultures and agriculture, so they all eat very different things. Different places even have differently flavored apples. And I’m subject to my own tastes, as well as definitely not an artist, so people will be free to make their own characters who are restaurant owners/tavern keepers/inn chefs/royal chefs/Chef Errants/Head Brewers/Bakers/Butchers/Public Soupsters/Et Ceteras. The problem is that these are reviewers, so unless they somehow involve themselves in the module of the day, the character and menus they worked on could very well get lost in the backdrop of the game very quickly. And not everyone’s going to meet the same people, or go to the same restaurant, so we meet the age-old issue of splitting the party up in ways that could potentially scatter them across the corners of a continent… Or, even scarier for a GM, oceans.

But most importantly, I’m worried about the fact that there’s going to be a fantasy world full of wars and dragons and giant pet pangolins and magic systems**, and I’m asking them to play as cooks and restaurant critics. Ah well, even if everyone does end up flanderising their roles into full-on adventurers, makes more sense than sending a professional musician into a dungeon with a bunch of warriors, anyway.

*There's some overlap between high and low fantasy here. It decidedly takes place in a world alternate to our own, but follows a lot of real-world logic, to the point where fantasy things that are usually taken for granted (Elves, Orcs, token furries, Dragons and Dinosaurs "Lesser Dragons"...) have their own evolutionary history. It isn't necessarily expounded on in great detail because I'm not a biologist and these things don't exist, but it is generally understood that certain scientific things we think about today happened. It’s high fantasy because insane things are taken for granted to exist, but it takes place parallel to our world and the fantasy things are bound by semi-realistic logic. I’m probably misdefining both terms pretty badly.

**Largely incomplete, because magic is trippy shit. I probably won't have much of a world to play in yet so much as a pile of mildly interesting puzzle pieces, but the point stands. When it's finished, it just seems like a strange place to have fantasy restaurant critics. Then again, I was planning on running a Freeform Dwarf Fortress thing in it, so I guess I really like this setting because its history is undeveloped and thus so open to fun fantasy game gimmicks.
@Sombrero Those Siren plants are metal. Sheets accepted. I have a question about the giant frogs though. How far can they jump? The distance is going to decrease as mass increases unless their planet is lower gravity.


Much like human jumping distance, it varies greatly depending on how often they jump around in their day-to-day lives. The general rule of thumb is that they can jump three times their sitting height straight up, and 3.5 times that in a horizontal direction, although horizontal arcs will very because I am not a good trajectorist. Athletes may go higher, lazy ones (If they can find a way to survive in Tchernabog, which is a feat in itself) may go lower, but it's safe to make the general assumption. It's like being able to judge that a big guy can lift more than a smaller guy at first glance, except usually more accurate. Tree frogs, because they jump up and down trees, tend to be frequent rulebreakers, but their muscles are still proportionate to their bodies and, pound for pound, no stronger or weaker than any of their fellows, so expecting a tree frog to jump further is like expecting a water frog to swim better, they probably would.
Sorry I’m late, I was held back writing more sheets for some more planets with Psychedelic Kung Fu Cacti and a Centipede Mafia, but I decided I looked dormant enough as it is and rushed to get these done. If it isn’t up to snuff, or if something makes less sense than usual, give me a buzzington.








Phew, you seem like someone who's actually qualified for this job! Can you teach me how to make my own eyelids?
Ooh, an Ancient-Greek-Style theater class!... Oh... Oh no...
........

......

....wat...?

....What are you lookin' at?

...Do I have something on my shoulder?

...is it a spider?

....JUST TELL ME DA TRUTH BOI!


... O O
Teach, it's good to finally hear your voice and everything, but are you allowed to have smokable stuff in your ear like that? Timmy hangs out in the alleyways doing that all the time, but they kicked him out of school. And, also, technically, by the ever-shifting nature of rolls in this reality, you were yelling at your own teacher. This is confusing.
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