• Last Seen: 8 yrs ago
  • Joined: 9 yrs ago
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9 yrs ago
Current Not sure why rest stops and such try to get me to use 1-ply toilet paper. I'm just gonna use twice as much anyway :P
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Bio

Yo! You actually are reading this bio! Wow! That's awesome! You should feel very proud of yourself, taking up your time, simply to read this bio, which I have constructed for you to read. You have no clue how completely validated I feel each time someone actually reads this bio. It certainly does wonders for one's self esteem, as you wouldn't believe how many people will look through my profile without bothering to read this fantastic bio, and yet, here you are. You, of all people, somehow still contain the willpower and determination to continue reading this bio. It must be as it was spoken in the prophecy, that those whom hold a place in your future will take the time to read your entire bio. That prophecy, of course, was nothing more than a lie. However, even this information doesn't deter you, does it? At this point, I'm truly not sure how you are still reading this. Could it be because you have sworn to yourself that you would finish reading this bio, no matter how boring or meaningless it might be? Or perhaps you are merely bored yourself, using this abnormally long bio as a way to take your mind off of some worldly troubles which you are currently afflicted in. It may even be possible that you are taking up a habit which I have performed many a time myself: you sit at your workplace with some sort of responsibility staring you in the face. Rather than facing this responsibility, however, you choose to ignore it entirely! You logged onto this website, whether it be on your computer, laptop, or smartphone, and somehow, with a surprising mix of luck and chance, you found yourself on my profile page, where you began reading my once seemingly innocent bio, and now find yourself in a snare that has hence lasted approximately 1,750 characters. Certainly a daunting number, don't you think so? I can only imagine that one such as you is asking, "Why is this person's bio so abnormally long? Where did he get this innate idea to waste not only my time, but his own, to write such an atrociously long bio for his profile page on this website? Well, truthfully, this bio came to being simply through an observation and a theory. While waiting for a response in a roleplay session, I glanced through my bio and saw that I had not yet written a bio. Thinking that it would be fun to give the majority of users and guests on this website some basic information about myself, I opened the tab to find that I could potentially type up to 100,000 characters. One hundred thousand characters! For one measly bio! I scoffed at the idea at first, but it truly intrigued me. I thought to myself, "What if I could somehow find a way to meet that maximum?" Surely, it would make me a king among the common masses of this website! Rumors would spread like wildfire of the man who had taken the time to type a one hundred thousand character bio! And I was not to use any cheeky tactics either. No copying and pasting, no images, no gibberish speak, merely me, taking the time out of my weekend to sit down and type a bio that was one hundred thousand words long! I decided at once to begin the journey and from there... Well, you know what happened from there. You've been reading it all, after all... Haven't you? You certainly weren't scrolling mindlessly through this masterfully created bio instead of taking the time to read and appreciate each carefully chosen word... Were you? *gasp* You weren't? How dare you! I take the precious time out of my day, nay, out of my week, to craft you a bio, a story, and you, with your absentmindedly scrolling fingers and your careless attitude, truly believe that you could scroll through this bio, perhaps check the end for some hidden secret and somehow avoid the full power of my rage? Oh, I'm sorry? Am I being too violent? Too aggressive? Too angry? You haven't even seen me angry!!!
...oh my. I'm so sorry. That truly was uncalled for. Can you... can you forgive me? Please? Oh, you will? Thank you, thank you so much! I'll make up for the mistake I've made, I promise! I'm just... shocked at what happened back there. Oh my, I'm starting to wonder if the pressure of such a large order is starting to get to me. Just look at me! Not only am I expecting myself to type out a 100,000 character essay, but now, you are too! Oh, don't try and deny it! After reading all of this waste of time, you know that you will only feel satisfied if I manage to somehow crank out 100,000 characters! Otherwise, such an endeavor would be merely pointless! There's got to be some way to appease both you and myself, some way for both of us to truly feel... happy.
Wait. I think I just had an idea. I know this is going to sound crazy, but just hear me out. What if I type one hundred thousand characters... but I don't? Perhaps, I could write every last character in 5,000 character segments like this? That way, eventually I will have a 100,000 word bio and not go insane. Does that sound good? Great! In that case, FIRST SEGMENT COMPLETE!

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