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    1. SomewhatAverage 9 yrs ago

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8 yrs ago
Current Not sure why rest stops and such try to get me to use 1-ply toilet paper. I'm just gonna use twice as much anyway :P
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Bio

Yo! You actually are reading this bio! Wow! That's awesome! You should feel very proud of yourself, taking up your time, simply to read this bio, which I have constructed for you to read. You have no clue how completely validated I feel each time someone actually reads this bio. It certainly does wonders for one's self esteem, as you wouldn't believe how many people will look through my profile without bothering to read this fantastic bio, and yet, here you are. You, of all people, somehow still contain the willpower and determination to continue reading this bio. It must be as it was spoken in the prophecy, that those whom hold a place in your future will take the time to read your entire bio. That prophecy, of course, was nothing more than a lie. However, even this information doesn't deter you, does it? At this point, I'm truly not sure how you are still reading this. Could it be because you have sworn to yourself that you would finish reading this bio, no matter how boring or meaningless it might be? Or perhaps you are merely bored yourself, using this abnormally long bio as a way to take your mind off of some worldly troubles which you are currently afflicted in. It may even be possible that you are taking up a habit which I have performed many a time myself: you sit at your workplace with some sort of responsibility staring you in the face. Rather than facing this responsibility, however, you choose to ignore it entirely! You logged onto this website, whether it be on your computer, laptop, or smartphone, and somehow, with a surprising mix of luck and chance, you found yourself on my profile page, where you began reading my once seemingly innocent bio, and now find yourself in a snare that has hence lasted approximately 1,750 characters. Certainly a daunting number, don't you think so? I can only imagine that one such as you is asking, "Why is this person's bio so abnormally long? Where did he get this innate idea to waste not only my time, but his own, to write such an atrociously long bio for his profile page on this website? Well, truthfully, this bio came to being simply through an observation and a theory. While waiting for a response in a roleplay session, I glanced through my bio and saw that I had not yet written a bio. Thinking that it would be fun to give the majority of users and guests on this website some basic information about myself, I opened the tab to find that I could potentially type up to 100,000 characters. One hundred thousand characters! For one measly bio! I scoffed at the idea at first, but it truly intrigued me. I thought to myself, "What if I could somehow find a way to meet that maximum?" Surely, it would make me a king among the common masses of this website! Rumors would spread like wildfire of the man who had taken the time to type a one hundred thousand character bio! And I was not to use any cheeky tactics either. No copying and pasting, no images, no gibberish speak, merely me, taking the time out of my weekend to sit down and type a bio that was one hundred thousand words long! I decided at once to begin the journey and from there... Well, you know what happened from there. You've been reading it all, after all... Haven't you? You certainly weren't scrolling mindlessly through this masterfully created bio instead of taking the time to read and appreciate each carefully chosen word... Were you? *gasp* You weren't? How dare you! I take the precious time out of my day, nay, out of my week, to craft you a bio, a story, and you, with your absentmindedly scrolling fingers and your careless attitude, truly believe that you could scroll through this bio, perhaps check the end for some hidden secret and somehow avoid the full power of my rage? Oh, I'm sorry? Am I being too violent? Too aggressive? Too angry? You haven't even seen me angry!!!
...oh my. I'm so sorry. That truly was uncalled for. Can you... can you forgive me? Please? Oh, you will? Thank you, thank you so much! I'll make up for the mistake I've made, I promise! I'm just... shocked at what happened back there. Oh my, I'm starting to wonder if the pressure of such a large order is starting to get to me. Just look at me! Not only am I expecting myself to type out a 100,000 character essay, but now, you are too! Oh, don't try and deny it! After reading all of this waste of time, you know that you will only feel satisfied if I manage to somehow crank out 100,000 characters! Otherwise, such an endeavor would be merely pointless! There's got to be some way to appease both you and myself, some way for both of us to truly feel... happy.
Wait. I think I just had an idea. I know this is going to sound crazy, but just hear me out. What if I type one hundred thousand characters... but I don't? Perhaps, I could write every last character in 5,000 character segments like this? That way, eventually I will have a 100,000 word bio and not go insane. Does that sound good? Great! In that case, FIRST SEGMENT COMPLETE!

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Sensei
Genesis: Sanctuary Pyre


As the video message came to an end and the HUD disappeared from his screen, Sensei's mind raced with countless thoughts, but one stuck out from the rest for some reason: Woohoo! Screw you, level cap! A confident grin came across his face as he realized the purpose of the group. They were going to work together to take down the largest terrorist group in history! Well, either that, or they would become one of the hundreds of thousands killed by the psychopaths. Still, in this moment, he was sure that their names would go down in history as heroes. Some would call it naivety, but James would prefer to call it something that most Elysium servers lacked these days: hope. Well, perhaps it was hope inspired by something else, a particular statement that their UN agent had spoken.

"The UN has promised you all anything you want as reward for your cooperation..."

Hey, I'm more than just a greedy pig, of course I want to help take down these terrorists, he told himself, as if some part of him was scolding himself for his askew motives. I just also know the value of having friends in high places. Truth be told, his martial arts studio had been seeing a decline in customers as of late; it seemed that not many in his county were too interested in self defense of any form. With a bit of financial assistance, he could launch a full, nationwide franchise and teach across the United States. Or he could just ask for enough money to ensure that he would never have to work a day in his life again! Nevertheless, he decided to put his personal issues aside and focus on the task that the group had been given: capturing the terrorist leader Mayhem and tracking down a player known as Minxy. Both sounded like difficult tasks, and he knew that in action, they would prove to be even more difficult. Still, he hoped to be an asset in both assignments, given how his general lack of weapons made him easily approachable by allies and underestimated by enemies compared to most players in his personal experience.

As he thought this, he speculated that getting to know his allies would be just as difficult as taking down his enemies. Ever since R3v314t1on took over the Elysium servers, most had become withdrawn, understandably unsure of who to trust. This worked to a disadvantage to people like James, who preferred to know what cards his allies had up their sleeves to figure out how to use them best. Those who met him wouldn't expect for such a "beat 'em up" style player to be such a strategist, but he considered that assumption to be another card up his own sleeves. For now, his goal was to learn how the others in his group would react in battle, to get a glimpse of their fighting styles and how they would benefit or clash with each other, and for that to ever happen, he needed to gain trust between them all, the strong and steadfast trust of a team united. Deciding to take the first steps in doing so, he stepped forward and began to introduce himself to the group, as Watcher had done before him. "Well, let's get pleasantries out of the way ASAP, it'll probably save us some time later. Hey guys, I'm Sensei, but most of my friends just call me James. You all can call me whatever you feel like calling me, just as long as you do it while we kick some terrorist ass!" Punctuating his last phrase with a fist pumped into the air, he smiled and stepped back to where he had been standing before, excited to get the assignment underway.
@Beefydork I know how you feel. It's very hard to write in an RP that you lose interest in. Thanks for letting us all know, and good luck in the future.
roleplayerguild.com/users/telutelu Not sure what the deal is with RP'ing as British wooden bed frames, but here this is.
Sensei
Exodus: Eon Evangel, Player Housing


A lone figure stood in the basement of one of the countless buildings in the city, working furiously at a punching bag in the center of the room. Sensei had been here for the past half hour, trying to perfect his technique before heading to the Sanctuary. When the UN needs your help, he thought, pounding away at his equipment, there isn't really a way to refuse. After receiving the message, he assumed that if they wanted him, then they wanted him at his best. To tell the truth, he wasn't too sure why he had been chosen; he wasn't legendary in any way, and he hadn't even reached the level cap. Sure, the Brawler subclass was difficult for most to master due to its extreme lack of focus on guns and the like, but he figured that there had to be some catch. Still, he wanted to make sure that they weren't disappointed by who they chose, so he had made sure to practice every attack that he could remember, trying to put himself ahead of the competition. Although it would probably help if I knew who the competition actually was. As he thought this, he tried to land one more backfist onto the punching bag-

To find that the punching bag wasn't there anymore. Instead, he found himself in front of a loading screen, which appeared to be loading...


Genesis, Sanctuary: Pyre



"Looks like someone just can't wait to meet me," he joked to himself as he loaded into the Sanctuary. Looking around, he saw that the Sanctuary itself seemed to be small and somewhat dilapidated, which was probably how R3v314t1on didn't notice the meeting in the first place. Looking at the others gathered at the meeting point, he saw a woman with what looked like some sort of robot-dog hybrid. Aren't those available to the Huntress subclass? He had considered taking up the subclass when he began the game had decided against it. Tucking away the information, he looked over to see a group of four, although looking closely at the combat quartet, he noticed that three of them appeared almost... transparent. Perhaps some sort of summoner? Turning to the final man, Sensei saw that he appeared to dress in Warlock-style armor, although not many Warlocks carried guns. He would be interesting to see in action, James could tell. As he finished examining the group, he clapped his hands and made a statement to all in attendance. "So, how's it going? You guys ready to save the world and look good while we do it?" If they were going to be allies, James wanted to make sure that they all started off on the right path and were at least friendly towards each other.
@HushedWhispers I'm good with a time skip.
@lovely complex Just you wait until this prank war really kicks into gear. Some might find that the ringleader of Stalker Jackson Inc. isn't so adorable anymore xD


Jackson Hunt





Location: Dorm Room
Interacting With: Gianna @lovely complex
Mood: Nervous -> Startled -> Surprised -> Concerned -> Calm


"I'm starting to think that I've got a problem, staring at my phone this much," Jackson said to himself, as he realized that he had been staring at his cell phone for almost half an hour, hoping that Gianna would text him or call him. "I think that at this rate, I'm gonna start growing extra limbs from all this radiation." After leaving the party, he had eventually changed from his suit from the party into a simple orange t-shirt and a pair of black athletic shorts. If Gianna wanted to meet up with him tonight, he could go out as is, and if she didn't, then he could easily fall asleep in these clothes, no pajamas needed. Saving the earth, one load of laundry at a time, he thought with a smile, trying not to stress out. Between the absolute mess that was his dorm room, the effects of the party punch, and a possible date with one of the so-called "queens of the school," it was fair to say that he was somewhat more nervous than his average day at Mayweather. Of course, the last thing that he had expected was for Gianna to actually show up at his dorm, and that just so happened to be exactly what she did.

Jackson watched silently as she practically ran into the room with an odd look on her face. He was about to ask what she was doing, until he actually stopped and thought for a moment. Okay, so she looks like she was just running for her life, and her back is against my wall. Maybe she's hiding from someone? As much as the behavior didn't seem to suit her, he felt that he was correct when he heard the footsteps walking down the hallway. Whoever was out there walked with purpose; Jackson couldn't even tell who it was before they were gone. Still, as soon as they passed, Gianna's face went slack with relief. He briefly wondered who someone like Gianna would be hiding from, but he put it in the back of his mind as Gianna began to talk. He could almost feel himself finally exhale as she asked him for her favor. In truth, he wasn't too sure how comfortable he was getting intimate with someone he barely even knew, and they were both drunk anyway. Thinking that it would be the best course of action, he told her all of this. "I mean, if that's what you're up for, then I'm up for it too. Besides, I wouldn't doubt that we've both had plenty to drink, so I think I'd prefer to play it safe." To be honest, the pace of the night was already wearing away the effects of the punch, slowly but surely. Eh, I bet I'll still feel it in the morning. As he thought this, he couldn't help but analyze everything that he was seeing from Gianna. So... this seems odd. Gianna hid from whoever was in the hallway, doesn't want to have sex, and it looks like she's been crying, all in the same night. Something's definitely not right. He wasn't sure how she had managed to pull such a complete turnaround in the past half hour, but something had obviously shaken her up massively.

A part of him felt like asking her about what had happened, but he imagined that it was either personal or, at least, something that she didn't feel comfortable telling him. Jackson slid over in his bed to make room for the both of them, saying, "Well, I would offer you Lucas' bed, but as you can see, it looks like he's taken up a bit of... interesting interior design." He gestured to his roommate's side of the room, which was trashed and still missing its mattress. "I have to say, the entire lack of a door is a nice touch. After all, privacy and all that is definitely going out of style. Just you wait, soon we won't even need walls on buildings or passwords on our phones. We'll just slowly devolve back into living in caves or whatever." he continued, keeping a constant smile on his face. It was almost like he figured that as long as he kept telling jokes, they could both ignore whatever was bothering her. However, eventually he couldn't think of another way to lighten the mood, and he fell into an awkward silence. You know, tonight is definitely making me enjoy silence quite a bit less. Even he knew that the only way to resolve anything was to face the problem head on. He just didn't know what to say! If he could just have a bit of time to think of what to tell her, he-

Well, that was probably the stupidest thing that I've ever thought of, he thought as he fought the urge to facepalm while setting time to a stop. Sliding out of bed, he began pacing the room, trying to think of what he could possibly tell her. "So all I have to do is figure out what could make her feel better, but to do that, I have to know why she's so upset, but to do that, I have to know what she's thinking! Ugh, I wish I had mind reading superpowers or something! You know what? I'll just wing it." He tried to shake his head to clear his mind, with no effect. He crawled back into his own bed, took a deep breath, and resumed time's flow. Looking into Gianna's eyes, he said the first thing that he could think of. "If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that nothing lasts forever. It's sort of like falling off of your bike when you're a kid; you scrape your knees, it hurts, and you get back up and try again. Except it happens with the good experiences we have too. Maybe they're just there to show how much we learn from the bad ones." Realizing that he was starting to ramble, he cleared his head and continued. "Look, my point is, I have no clue what you're going through, and that's fine. Just remember that it will pass, and you'll learn from it, and you'll move on. And moving on might not really mean forgetting. You just need to accept what comes and face it, however you can." Turning over onto his back, suddenly exhausted, he said one final thought of his before lack of sleep and all the alcohol he had had put him under.

"Because the only other choice we have is to give up, and that's the worst thing that we can do."
In Hogwarts 8 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Hey, so I wanted to let you guys know that tomorrow, I will be leaving for vacation! I thought that I would have enough time to post regularly, but unfortunately, it doesn't look like things will turn out that way. Don't worry, I'll still be on the site, and I don't plan to leave anything unfinished; just don't expect me to post quite as often until Friday, when I get back.
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