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SpeakNoEvil has signed on
"Oh hello SpeakNoEvil, I'm so glad you came. Let's begin the interview. What's your real name? First and last please."
"Wow, right to the point, huh? Ok I'll bite. Name's Elijah Vannwood but people tend to call me Eli for short. I respond to both. Do I get to call you something other than the ever cryptic Admin?"
"Ah, I see, okay how old are you?"
"And ignored. So no name for you? That hardly seems fair since you now know mine but whatever. I'm 27."
"Hmm...This is more personal but what's your sexuality?"
"Not sure what that has to do with a gaming interview but if you must know I'm straight as an arrow. Typical man who likes to indulge in female company, however limited that may be..."
"Are you a man or woman?"
".....Obviously a man. Did my name or above comment not clue you in?"
"What do you look like? You can send a picture or describe yourself, though an image will help me more."
"Is this helpful enough?"
"What's your occupation?"
"Nothing that involves a fancy degree. I never did bother with college. That was my brother's forte. Believe it or not but I work at an antiquities shop. Yes, they do still exist, though business isn't great so that may change soon and I'll be looking for another job. But it's fascinating working there and the owner is a real swell guy. We don't see many customers other than the stray passerby so I get a lot of time to just peruse the shop and storage basement. You'd be amazed to see all the things people use to use when technology wasn't as prevalent! I mean, have you seen how big computers and TVs used to be?! And cell phones used to be used for just calling people! A different device each for calling, listening to music, taking pictures, you name it. Seems redundant if you ask me. I don't know. The Old World just fascinates me."
"How would you describe your personality?"
"Huh, I've never been asked to describe my own personality before... I guess you could say I have a pretty snarky sarcastic sense of humor, if you couldn't already notice. But really, if I'm being honest with myself (and you of course), then I'll admit I'm nothing like this in the real world. Behind this screen, where no one can see me and know who I really am, I can be whoever I want to be. And since you and I will probably never meet face to face, you'll most likely never know my true colors. Does that answer your question?"
"How tall are you? How much do you weigh?"
"Last I checked I'm 5'10" and 150 lbs."
"What's your favorite color?"
"Black I guess. Has anyone ever told you how random these questions are?"
"What type of person interests you romantically?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? Hehe all joking aside, honestly speaking, a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. Not looking for a feminist but I do admire strong-headed, independent women. Also someone who isn't afraid to be vulnerable around me when she needs to be. We're only human and unfortunately we all have hearts that can only be so strong. Someone honest and kind and selfless but allows themselves to be selfish every once in awhile. Physically, big perky breasts and a nice ass is definitely a plus (us men have needs) but I'm also a realist so really anyone who likes me for who I am out of all the men they could choose from (unlike the video game girls who are only programmed to like me just as much as any other man who plays the game)."
"This question can be skipped, but it's most essential to my study so I'd prefer an honest answer. Know that you're in a safe place here with me, no one else will ever have to know. Do you have any physical/mental disabilities? Any traumas?"
"Nothing comes to mind other than I suffer from insomnia and vivid dreams but that could be from all the late night gaming I do. Never bothered paying anyone to tell me what I can figure out on my own. Wouldn't call that a disability though. Not having to sleep does have its perks and the dreams are like a riddle I'm trying to figure out. They're always so disconnected and random but almost symbolically so, if that makes any sense... As far as trauma, I don't remember much of my childhood other than living in the shadow of my twin brother but that's a story for another time and probably not the kind of "trauma" you're looking for. Sorry, I'm not damaged."
"What gaming genre do you prefer to play when feeding your addiction?"
"Do you really have to make it sound so bad? I can think of worse addictions... I guess if I had to narrow it down to a main preference, I would have to say psychological horror/survival games. I enjoy the adrenaline rush. But RPGs are always a good second option if the plot is decent and the characters are relatable. But no MMO team shit. It's not that I don't like people, I just work better alone. I hate having to depend on someone that I know nothing about."
"Share some of your history with me."
"Ok, so I guess that "story for another time" is now, huh? Like I mentioned, I have a twin brother who's basically everything I'm not. In other words, he's everything good and perfect where I'm kind of a lost cause. That's what my parents always told us anyway. I don't have good memories of them. They weren't particularly cruel or anything, other than constantly comparing me to Elliot, but I guess the big thing that bugs me is they never seemed to show much interest in raising me. It was always Elliot this, Elliot that. They were just glad at least one of their sons turned out perfect so why waste time with the delinquent? I never felt comfortable talking to them or asking them for help about anything. And they were always working so I ended up depending on Elliot a lot. I don't even know where he got it from, I guess he was just lucky with life. I was always just as curious about the world as he was but where I struggled he excelled. It just came naturally, like he didn't even have to try. I don't hate my brother, we actually get along really well, always have, but every time I see him, it's like looking at a mirror. Literally. He looks just like me (if not a bit better looking - he always got the girl) but encompasses everything I wish I could be. I've always envied him of that. It's a weird sort of admiration I guess. Not sure where or what my parents are doing these days. Haven't spoken to them in years and I'd like to keep it that way. I have nothing to say to them and I don't want to hear the same crap they're likely to say to me. Elliot is doing well, works at a big fancy tech firm, designing the latest and greatest in everything that runs our lives. And here's little ol' me, responding to some crazy email for no logical reason."
"Your strengths?"
"I'm pretty average with everything. I like to think I'm physically strong if that counts? I do a lot of lifting and moving stuff around at work. Other than that, I mentioned before that I work better solo so that's a strength depending on the situation but it goes hand in hand with being a shitty team player so they cancel each other out in my mind. And it's not that I don't like to contribute. I just don't know how to work with people that I don't know. I know me so I'm able to depend on what I know. But there's too many unknown variables with strangers. I'm assuming weaknesses is the next question? That'll be the easy part."
"Your fears and weaknesses?"
"And there it is haha. I think this is more personal than the question about sexuality. I hate to admit it but I have a strong unnecessary fear of failing people's expectations of me. Sounds silly, I know, but I care too much about what people think of me. I guess that kind of leads into being one of my weaknesses as well. Really there's not much to like about me so I try so hard to be someone else. I feel more confident I guess when I'm not myself. When I'm not myself, I can be strong, funny, charming, whatever I need at the time to feel better about who I am, even though I'm lying anyway... Maybe that's why I'm still single honestly. *insert self-deprecating laughter* At the end of the day, what it really comes down to is the fact that I just want to learn to love myself more. Elliot always said that I have qualities that he envies. He says it'd be nice to be so carefree and laid back sometimes but I don't see how that's a good thing... My biggest all encompassing weakness is that I wear my heart on my sleeve but I try too hard to deny its existence. I just care too much, ya know? It's exhausting and stressful but it's better than revealing the face behind the mask. There's nothing to look at there... I don't even know why I told you all this..."
"What role do you play in your games?"
"God, you had me all prepared to reveal another personal story of self-loathing after that last one but you go right back to a normal question instead. How thoughtful. To answer your question, it really depends on the game of course. I don't play many MMOs that involve team building with real people so I don't do healer or tank or any of that jargon. Going based off my "gaming addiction of choice", as you so colorfully put it, I guess my role would be survivalist? Strategist?"
"What do you hope to gain by participating in my game?"
"Wait, what? You never said anything about a game? I thought this was just an interview, though it was a damn odd interview. I'm all for a good game but some backstory would be nice. Not sure how I can answer this without knowing what the "game" is about... I guess I'm willing to play anything as long as I get to escape the boring world we currently live in."
"Is there anything I missed?"
"You're the interviewer. You tell me."
As soon as that last question is answered you're suddenly knocked out and dragged off someplace.
"Oh hello SpeakNoEvil, I'm so glad you came. Let's begin the interview. What's your real name? First and last please."
"Wow, right to the point, huh? Ok I'll bite. Name's Elijah Vannwood but people tend to call me Eli for short. I respond to both. Do I get to call you something other than the ever cryptic Admin?"
"Ah, I see, okay how old are you?"
"And ignored. So no name for you? That hardly seems fair since you now know mine but whatever. I'm 27."
"Hmm...This is more personal but what's your sexuality?"
"Not sure what that has to do with a gaming interview but if you must know I'm straight as an arrow. Typical man who likes to indulge in female company, however limited that may be..."
"Are you a man or woman?"
".....Obviously a man. Did my name or above comment not clue you in?"
"What do you look like? You can send a picture or describe yourself, though an image will help me more."
"Is this helpful enough?"
"What's your occupation?"
"Nothing that involves a fancy degree. I never did bother with college. That was my brother's forte. Believe it or not but I work at an antiquities shop. Yes, they do still exist, though business isn't great so that may change soon and I'll be looking for another job. But it's fascinating working there and the owner is a real swell guy. We don't see many customers other than the stray passerby so I get a lot of time to just peruse the shop and storage basement. You'd be amazed to see all the things people use to use when technology wasn't as prevalent! I mean, have you seen how big computers and TVs used to be?! And cell phones used to be used for just calling people! A different device each for calling, listening to music, taking pictures, you name it. Seems redundant if you ask me. I don't know. The Old World just fascinates me."
"How would you describe your personality?"
"Huh, I've never been asked to describe my own personality before... I guess you could say I have a pretty snarky sarcastic sense of humor, if you couldn't already notice. But really, if I'm being honest with myself (and you of course), then I'll admit I'm nothing like this in the real world. Behind this screen, where no one can see me and know who I really am, I can be whoever I want to be. And since you and I will probably never meet face to face, you'll most likely never know my true colors. Does that answer your question?"
"How tall are you? How much do you weigh?"
"Last I checked I'm 5'10" and 150 lbs."
"What's your favorite color?"
"Black I guess. Has anyone ever told you how random these questions are?"
"What type of person interests you romantically?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? Hehe all joking aside, honestly speaking, a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. Not looking for a feminist but I do admire strong-headed, independent women. Also someone who isn't afraid to be vulnerable around me when she needs to be. We're only human and unfortunately we all have hearts that can only be so strong. Someone honest and kind and selfless but allows themselves to be selfish every once in awhile. Physically, big perky breasts and a nice ass is definitely a plus (us men have needs) but I'm also a realist so really anyone who likes me for who I am out of all the men they could choose from (unlike the video game girls who are only programmed to like me just as much as any other man who plays the game)."
"This question can be skipped, but it's most essential to my study so I'd prefer an honest answer. Know that you're in a safe place here with me, no one else will ever have to know. Do you have any physical/mental disabilities? Any traumas?"
"Nothing comes to mind other than I suffer from insomnia and vivid dreams but that could be from all the late night gaming I do. Never bothered paying anyone to tell me what I can figure out on my own. Wouldn't call that a disability though. Not having to sleep does have its perks and the dreams are like a riddle I'm trying to figure out. They're always so disconnected and random but almost symbolically so, if that makes any sense... As far as trauma, I don't remember much of my childhood other than living in the shadow of my twin brother but that's a story for another time and probably not the kind of "trauma" you're looking for. Sorry, I'm not damaged."
"What gaming genre do you prefer to play when feeding your addiction?"
"Do you really have to make it sound so bad? I can think of worse addictions... I guess if I had to narrow it down to a main preference, I would have to say psychological horror/survival games. I enjoy the adrenaline rush. But RPGs are always a good second option if the plot is decent and the characters are relatable. But no MMO team shit. It's not that I don't like people, I just work better alone. I hate having to depend on someone that I know nothing about."
"Share some of your history with me."
"Ok, so I guess that "story for another time" is now, huh? Like I mentioned, I have a twin brother who's basically everything I'm not. In other words, he's everything good and perfect where I'm kind of a lost cause. That's what my parents always told us anyway. I don't have good memories of them. They weren't particularly cruel or anything, other than constantly comparing me to Elliot, but I guess the big thing that bugs me is they never seemed to show much interest in raising me. It was always Elliot this, Elliot that. They were just glad at least one of their sons turned out perfect so why waste time with the delinquent? I never felt comfortable talking to them or asking them for help about anything. And they were always working so I ended up depending on Elliot a lot. I don't even know where he got it from, I guess he was just lucky with life. I was always just as curious about the world as he was but where I struggled he excelled. It just came naturally, like he didn't even have to try. I don't hate my brother, we actually get along really well, always have, but every time I see him, it's like looking at a mirror. Literally. He looks just like me (if not a bit better looking - he always got the girl) but encompasses everything I wish I could be. I've always envied him of that. It's a weird sort of admiration I guess. Not sure where or what my parents are doing these days. Haven't spoken to them in years and I'd like to keep it that way. I have nothing to say to them and I don't want to hear the same crap they're likely to say to me. Elliot is doing well, works at a big fancy tech firm, designing the latest and greatest in everything that runs our lives. And here's little ol' me, responding to some crazy email for no logical reason."
"Your strengths?"
"I'm pretty average with everything. I like to think I'm physically strong if that counts? I do a lot of lifting and moving stuff around at work. Other than that, I mentioned before that I work better solo so that's a strength depending on the situation but it goes hand in hand with being a shitty team player so they cancel each other out in my mind. And it's not that I don't like to contribute. I just don't know how to work with people that I don't know. I know me so I'm able to depend on what I know. But there's too many unknown variables with strangers. I'm assuming weaknesses is the next question? That'll be the easy part."
"Your fears and weaknesses?"
"And there it is haha. I think this is more personal than the question about sexuality. I hate to admit it but I have a strong unnecessary fear of failing people's expectations of me. Sounds silly, I know, but I care too much about what people think of me. I guess that kind of leads into being one of my weaknesses as well. Really there's not much to like about me so I try so hard to be someone else. I feel more confident I guess when I'm not myself. When I'm not myself, I can be strong, funny, charming, whatever I need at the time to feel better about who I am, even though I'm lying anyway... Maybe that's why I'm still single honestly. *insert self-deprecating laughter* At the end of the day, what it really comes down to is the fact that I just want to learn to love myself more. Elliot always said that I have qualities that he envies. He says it'd be nice to be so carefree and laid back sometimes but I don't see how that's a good thing... My biggest all encompassing weakness is that I wear my heart on my sleeve but I try too hard to deny its existence. I just care too much, ya know? It's exhausting and stressful but it's better than revealing the face behind the mask. There's nothing to look at there... I don't even know why I told you all this..."
"What role do you play in your games?"
"God, you had me all prepared to reveal another personal story of self-loathing after that last one but you go right back to a normal question instead. How thoughtful. To answer your question, it really depends on the game of course. I don't play many MMOs that involve team building with real people so I don't do healer or tank or any of that jargon. Going based off my "gaming addiction of choice", as you so colorfully put it, I guess my role would be survivalist? Strategist?"
"What do you hope to gain by participating in my game?"
"Wait, what? You never said anything about a game? I thought this was just an interview, though it was a damn odd interview. I'm all for a good game but some backstory would be nice. Not sure how I can answer this without knowing what the "game" is about... I guess I'm willing to play anything as long as I get to escape the boring world we currently live in."
"Is there anything I missed?"
"You're the interviewer. You tell me."
As soon as that last question is answered you're suddenly knocked out and dragged off someplace.