Avatar of The book of bad juju
  • Last Seen: 8 yrs ago
  • Old Guild Username: Matxin Gartza
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    1. The book of bad juju 11 yrs ago
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8 yrs ago
Current I've just written the worst post i've ever made in an Rp, and i don't know how i could have made it better.
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9 yrs ago
Give us the doctor.
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Bio

If you can read this, send me a quick pm, i need to talk with you.

Most Recent Posts

Not really. Cog entered into slavery willingly for LOADSAMONEY and she needs somewhere a little bit more safe then a hole in the ground to put it in. Or maybe she takes a gamble and invests the dosh in fledgeling businesses and recoups once she's made enough? I dunno, just thinking aloud.

Also, that pic. Oh i am laffin.
Well, yeah. But that's exactly how the 08 started. People thought houses would only get more expensive, but all the banks were left with cheap homes nobody wanted to buy from them that they'd paid millions in loans for.
I know what I want to write, I know what my character would say, why is it so hard to get a post up?
Although it is a whole lot easier to just dissapear if you really wanted to and had the skills to do it, since there's not quite as much of a paper trail that can lead back to you as an individual.

Of course, you'd have to be desperate to just run like that.
Have banks ever been known to fail in the same sense that we understand banks to fail today, that is, by making really insecure deals to people who then just refused to pay?
Quick question: How do you feel about banks? Longstanding houses of money and power you don't want to piss off because the bankers hold more power then the de facto rulers of the city or Honest John's fly-by-night wagon 'o cash dealership and betting parlour that's only slightly more safe the tossing your hard-earned dinarii down a well and hoping the fairies will protect it?
Koganusan stared across the table, into the Lanista's eyes. She was aware that this was a fight she'd lose. Even her calculated mercantile stare was having little effect against the hook-nosed human. Humans were tough nuts to crack, even to dwarves. Elves were quick and dextrous, beastmen and orcs were untamed and ferocious, dwarves were resourceful and smart, but nothing beat a human in sheer dogged endurance and persistance. They could run without stopping for days. Anything done by human hands was done efficiently and repetitively, to a degree of skill no other race could hope to manage. The man in front of her, clasping his hands in front of his face and giving her the silent treatment was starting to make her nervous. It didn't help that her stumpy little feet were dangling from the human-sized seat. Nobody could look menacing or formidable with swinging feet. His mouth moved, and it took a long time before she notice he was talking.

"I'm a busy man, so i'd like to make this quick. You say you're looking for a down payment, is this correct?"
"Y-yes sir."
"A lump sum?"
"As i said, sir."
"And in exchange, you'll...? "
"Enter contractual slavery, sir. I do believe that's a custom around these parts?"
"The Nexum contract, certainly. I'm afraid my current rate is some thirty thousand dinars, but you will remain my jurusdiction until you earn me double that. Based on current going rates, especially considering how my business is going, this would keep you with me for some... five years?"
"I don't mind, sir."
"And you're okay with that?"

She nodded. The man uncrossed his legs. A resolute thunk sound as his peg leg hit the stone floor. He pushed himself up from the desk with both palms, and handed her a thick scroll of parchment. She took it, and unrolled it - The professional way, too. She knew her way around the written word. She held the stylus and dipped it in the inkpot in one fluid motion, and signed at the bottom in one fluid motion. A far cry from the Lanista's usual clientèle, who usually signed with an x. He took the stylus from her hand and curled the parchment back into it's tube. He'd file it with the others later. That was it, as much as he was concerned. But he decided to relieve his curiosity.

"Miss Hawlaestic-"
"My mother was Miss Hawlaestic. Please, call me Cog."
"Very well... Cog. I understand you've just came from the mountains, and-"
"Really sir? What gave it away?"
"Your chin. And more accurately, the fact that I can view it. I must say, if it weren't for your statement to my secretarium, i would not have guessed you for a dwarf at all."
If she was hurt by this accusation, she didn't show it. Best not to bite the hand that fed you.
"I understand, sir. I gather that braids are the fashion around these heights. I'm afraid that where I come from, beards are considered something too, mmm, important to leave up to nature. We use wigs. I had to sell mine for safe passage here, as a matter of fact."
"Is that so?"
"Yessir. I'm afraid I had to up sticks rather quickly, erm, due to unusual circumstances."

"You aren't a wanted dwarf, by any chance?"
"Of course not, sir!" She lied. "...but it would be fair to say that i'm not exactly welcome in the old country."
"As I thought. Believe me, you won't be the first nor the last. But i must ask that you keep your personal and professional life separate."
"I don't believe that will be a problem."
"I see. Now, get yourself to the barracks. I assume some of my men will be along to handle... things." He waved a hand, dismissively. "Clothes and beds, training, and so on. Is there anything else?"
"No sir, thank you sir!"

She jumped off the high chair and bowed, graciously, walking backwards. She bumped into the doorframe, bur recovered and slipped out of his slight.

---

The dwarf stood at the back of the line, at one end, blinking the sand out of her eyes. To dwarves, that wasn't a metaphor. She'd slept with her eyes open in the darkness, and every morning when she woke, her thick and bushy eyelashes were coated with the dust and spackle of sand and grit, which took several minutes of high-maintenance eye-digging to remove. She barely caught the exchanges that passed somewhere to the right on her, even though she managed to get the gist of it. Her lord master had come down here, and rattled off a series of demands, nothing she hadn't already heard. After he'd left, people started talking. It was far too early in the morning to be talking. She'd had enough of that last night, with the tall human she'd been fighting with. He thought himself clever by jumping and leaping out of the way of her sword swipes, and she'd brought him down with a tackle and sat on his chest watching his ribcage slowly crack under the strain. It'd been pretty fun, in a turning-tortoises-upside-down-to-see-them-struggle kind of way. She'd taken the time back then to look around at her compatriots. Or at least the ones who weren't bright blue and gasping under her feet.

A few had caught her attention. Chief amongst them was the bear, who had appeared to be halfway through a nice meal of raw Scorplion. An elf in one corner (A round building, but you get the idea) had been knee-deep in python guts, and an Orc at the far end had been trying to shake boarbrains off of a wooden sword. All the blood and guts everyone else was fun trying to spill all over the place, and here she was with a miserable man-animal she wasn't even allowed to kill. She remembered getting a little bit pissed about that.

She fished the last of the silicates out of her sclera, and blinked in the dirty brown light. Some people were talking, now that the master had been and gone. Even in her half-asleep state, she caught a few words. "Secure our freedom." "Unite." and similar. Sounded like socialist rebel talk. She held no truck with them. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. (Translated from the original dwarfish: Don't knock over the mineshaft supports. It sounds a whole lot better in dwarfish.) She kept her mouth shut, contributing nothing to the bunch of dissidents who suddenly came over all nervous to argue against the elf. She took the time to memorize his skin discolouration. Maybe if she reported him to the Lanista, she'd get some sort of reward. On top of the already sizable reward she was getting just for being here, of course.
I'm here. I'm finalizing some details of the setting via PM with Harbinger, then i'll get a post up. Don't expect me to actually do anything, though.


Appearance: Haughty, with angled features and a certain look like she was hewn from mahogany Koganusan is the spitting image of dwarvish merchant's wife of a billion woodcuts . She's pictured here without her beard on. In the fortress where she was raised, wigs and toupees were the fashion at the time, ever since the discovery and subsequent invention of bauxite and mythril filaments. The metallurgs and engravers of the time were highly skilled and braiding and shearing miniature works of art designed to be worn under the chins. She had to sell hers to pay her way.

Name: Koganusan Hawlaestic Sunkissed. If you get on her good side, she'll let you call her "Cog".

Age: Koganusan is not in the flower of her youth. More of the wrinkly unripe fruit of middle age. She's three-and-fifty.

Gender: Despite the beard and bodily hair, she's female.

Personality: Koganusan, like the infamous dwarven encampment for which she's named, is introverted and secluded to the point of mutism. She doesn't talk much, and what does end up coming out of his mouth is often broken and twisted, followed by mutterings and swears in Mine-speak. Unless you want to buy or sell, in which case she opens up like the emperor's palace to foreign ambassadors, and it's practically impossible to get her to stop.

Previous Profession: Purveyor and Racketeer.

History: It's hard to explain a dwarf's history without revealing something of their ancestry. A dwarf of the valleys shares little if anything with the dwarves of the hearth, who in turn share nothing with the saltsmithers of port Arz, or the merchants of the catacombs of Dhalmad. And none of those will even deign to raise their name to the dwarves of the shantytown. Barely anything but mining camps hewn into the side of a mountain, which gather houses like dog doings attract flies. As for Koganusan, she was born and raised in one of these, known in dwarvish as Gröf Herbergi, or salt catacombs. The place was built above rich seams of salts and nitrates over a bed of sandstone. It's a dry, acidic place where the sand stains your feet red. Gröf Herbergi was deep set into sandstone, and gained a reputation for salts and acidic deposits, as well a deeply hot and bitterly long sun. The name of "Sunkissed" denotes Koganusan's place in life: On the surface, bargaining with trade caravans.

Her mother, a broad woman by the name of Korsefandi, was the town tanner and leatherworker, with a face like she was constantly sucking on lemons. She taught her well before her untimely death and subsequent. How to cut leather, and dye wool. How to juggle scales. How to balance books. How to pretend iron was silver, and to melt down coins in secret. How to grease palms, and shave a little off the top for you and yours. She'd been good at it, and Koganusan had struggled to keep the lies going after her death. Of course, by that time she'd been in way too over her head already. She barely remembered for what exactly she'd been accused of, but these lies are like a dam, and all it takes is one rock to was away for the dam to burst. She'd ran, carrying most of her possessions on her back. Modern science has, as of yet, been unable to determine the maximum carrying capacity for a dwarven peasant, and she'd made it almost to the big city of men itself before she'd faltered and had been forced to sell her beard. She's in the arena because it's the easiest way to get back on her feet, gather enough to make a profit, and get herself some dinerii behind her. And once she does, she's going back to the mountains and sinking her teeth into the nearest mineral vein and she's never going to let it go.

Preferred Arms: The dwarvish weapons of choice are hammers and picks. Mine-to-mine warfare means that anything long or that requires stabbing are practically useless. However, Koganusan was never at home in mines at the best of times, and her preferred weapon to defend her hearth and home was the khopesh, a sickle-like sword.

Still a work in progress. I should stop lying to myself already and admit that it,s pretty much finished.
I got nothing to say.
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