Avatar of thedman
  • Last Seen: 4 yrs ago
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    1. thedman 6 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current Who needs drugs when you can just stand up really fast
7 likes
6 yrs ago
I think I need a new razor. Shaving feels like rubbing a slightly pointy eraser against my face five times.
1 like
6 yrs ago
It sounds like God is taking a piss on my house outside
2 likes
6 yrs ago
Just noticed that my total amount of reactions recieved is equal to the amount of reactions given. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
1 like
6 yrs ago
Nothing quite like powering through an assignment through sheer anger at having to do it

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Welcome! If you need help with anything, feel free to ask. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your time here!
Welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here.
Illegal mining vessel Jacob III
Approaching fringe of Zerg space



"We're approaching the site, sir. Your tip was good- the scanners are already picking up a lot of minerals here."

"I told ya, Wilkins. Prepare your shuttle, we've got digging to do." The captain laid back in his chair, putting down the radio and picking up his cigarette. From the viewport, the starts faintly illuminated the seemingly endless asteroid field around them. Blowing out a puff of smoke, he couldn't help but smile. Of course he was right- he was always right when it came to things like this. Turning to his left, he nudged his co-pilot next to him. "Joe, take us up to the site. I wanna see this for myself."

Joe took the controls, turning up the engines and steering the ship towards the marker on the screen in front of him. "Hope you know what you're doing, sir. We're in Zerg space, now."

The captain scoffed. "Yeah, barely. Trust me, we're gonna be long gone before any Zerg show up. We'll just grab the rocks, and go."

Joe shook his head, continuing on the course. "I hope you're right, sir."

"Come on, when have I been wrong? I've pulled us through way worse than this." He blew out another puff of smoke, before placing the cigarette back in his ash tray and grabbing the radio again. "Wilkins, you got a detailed scan yet? What sort of rocks are we looking at?"

No response. "Wilkins, you copy?" Again, nothing. The captain frowned, glaring at the radio. "Goddamn radio's on the fritz again." Grunting, he handed it to Joe. "Here, you try."

The co-pilot took the device, looking it over. "It's...there's nothing wrong with it, sir." He placed it on the dashboard as he felt ice run down his spine. "Sir, we..."

"Probably on their end, then. Speaking of..." The ship slowed down as they reached the site, with no sign of their sister ship. "Their lights must've gone out. Joe, get the floodlights, will you?"

Joe nodded, flicking a switch. After a moment, the lights went on. "Well, maybe- oh, sweet Jesus!"

Before them, was their sister ship...or what was left of it. The vessel was split in two, with debris scattered around in a wide arc, as if some massive blade had swung down the middle of the ship. The bodies of the crew floated in the void, expressions of pure terror etched onto their faces. The captain felt his heart sink, all his confidence draining away to be replaced by primal fear. With shaky hands, he gripped the controls, turning a hard left. "We need to get the hell out of here, now."

As the ship slowly began to turn to the left, a loud THUD was heard from the back of the ship, the shockwave sending the pilots forward in their chairs. The captain desperately tried to move the ship forward, but there was no response. A look at the screen confirmed his fear- whatever they had hit, it had taken out their engines. "No, no, no..." He turned to his side. "Joe, we gotta…"

But his co-pilot wasn't listening, staring into the distance. The captain followed his gaze, looking out into the black of space. "Joe?"

From the darkness, a pair of spiked tendrils emerged.


The Terran ship fell from a single swipe, just like the other. Ikani was almost disappointed. "I at least expected them to put up a fight."

"They weren't armed. They weren't expecting anyone to be here." Shelley, her infested Terran advisor, was standing beside her. From the membranous windows of the so-called "nerve room", they had a clear view of the destruction. "Either way, this will serve as a warning to others who would invade the Swarm's territory."

"Then our job here is done. I don't believe we have any other tasks, do we?"

"No, Broodmother."

Ikani was almost disappointed. Since the war ended, there had been very little for her to do, save for the occasional attack by pirates or ferals. True, there had been a few exciting missions, but those had been few and far between. She was hoping that this would be one of them, but it had proven to be a let down. What fun was there in killing an enemy that couldn't fight back?

"Very well. I'll put us onto a course back to Char, then." With a psionic command, Moonreaver began to make its way out of the asteroid field. "Shame. I was hoping for something more...stimulating."

"Well, maybe something else will come up?" Shelley offered, giving her a smile.

"I wish I had your optimism." They continued to watch out the windows as the living ship moved into open space. Just as they pulled out of the asteroid field, there was a white flash, and then nothing.
I'll try to have something posted by tonight.

Edit: posted
That sucks. Either way, welcome back.
@NightmareInd Post it here. It needs to be approved before it can be put into the characters tab.
@mattmanganon I wouldn't be surprised if the Zerg wanted to see what happens if they tried to infest Eggman's robots. They are able to infest Terran vehicles, so who knows what would happen there.
@mattmanganon I was actually thinking about that. They are actually pretty similar, which is something that could help them understand each other.
@Mataus Ohhh... yeah, sorry, I thought you meant what I was roleplaying as. But, yeah, I expect an element of "who the fuck are you people, and what the fuck are you people?"
@Mataus I'm the Zerg, a hive-minded race of arthropod aliens. The overwhelming majority of them are unintelligent, being led by some kind of controller intelligence, in this case a broodmother. They are highly adaptable and can be bred into a vast number of forms, from small creatures to the Leviathan that you see in my sheet.
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