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    1. thedman 6 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current Who needs drugs when you can just stand up really fast
7 likes
6 yrs ago
I think I need a new razor. Shaving feels like rubbing a slightly pointy eraser against my face five times.
1 like
6 yrs ago
It sounds like God is taking a piss on my house outside
2 likes
6 yrs ago
Just noticed that my total amount of reactions recieved is equal to the amount of reactions given. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
1 like
6 yrs ago
Nothing quite like powering through an assignment through sheer anger at having to do it

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Moonreaver
Location unknown



Soon after he finished speaking, the coordinates appeared on the screen of the Terran communications device that had been, using fleshy cables that pulsed with energy, attached to the living vessel. "Coordinates received. Expect us soon." Turning off the device, Ikani turned to face the infested Terran at her side. "Well, I suppose this is it. Would you mind coming with me? You know Terrans better than I do."

She nodded, following alongside the Broodmother as she walked away from the nerve center and down a corridor, heading towards the lower sections of the vessel. "Of course, Broodmother."

The two continued down towards the bottom end of the vessel, through narrow passages and numerous chambers holding the various Zerg organisms populating the ship. As they walked, Ikani turned to address her companion. "So, what do you think of the others?"

"I don't know. They all appear to be Terran, but some appear to be more advanced than others, although it is hard to tell without taking a closer look at their technology. Either way, none of them have been overtly hostile so far, so I don't believe we'll have any trouble. At least, assuming they don't panic when they see us."

"Then let's hope this goes better than first contact did in our universe." Eventually, they headed to the bottom of the vessel, where most of the flying Zerg organisms were held. Here, they would be able to exit the ship, and head to the meeting. Waiting for them was Zalek, the lesser Queen that usually led Ikani's forces in battle. She gave a nod as the two approached, and Ikani spoke first, addressing her. "It is good to see you, my daughter. How have the underlings fared so far?"

"None have been injured by our...relocation, thankfully. I've heard you discussing above...you wish to speak with these Terrans?"

"Yes, and I expect you to look after Moonreaver until we return. I'm not expecting an attack, but I don't fully trust these Terrans either, so be alert."

"I see...then, I will keep watch over the Brood until your return. As for your mission..." A pair of hydralisks appeared next to her. "These are some of my finest warriors. They will make any enemy of the Swarm think twice before attacking."

The two hydralisks took up positions next to the group, Ikani petting one as it drew next to her. "Thank you. Hopefully, we will not be forced to use them."


In the hangars of the Renatus, the Zerg delegation had arrived. An overlord touched down at one end of the hangar, and four figures emerged from beneath it. The broodmother herself was a massive creature, centaur-like with six webbed legs and a torso with two arms. Beside her were two hydralisks, intimidating serpentine creatures with massive claws and skull-like faces filled with teeth. Beside Ikani was someone who might have looked human, if you weren't paying close attention. She was a young woman in a blue naval uniform, with pale skin and blonde hair done in a ponytail. However, there were a few glaring abnormalities- her arms and legs were covered in purple, alien muscle, with her hands ending in pointy claws. She had a tendril sticking out of where her right eye would have been, and her left eye had an unnatural orange glow. The tendril followed with her as she looked around the room. "Big ship...but where's all the crew?"

"I suppose we'll find out." After spending a moment observing the ship, the group headed out, walking in the direction of the main bridge.
This RP has been dead for, like, six months. I don't think you're gonna get much of a response.
I'll aim to post something tomorrow.
I'll wait a bit to let others post before I go again.
Moonreaver
Location unknown



Broodmother Ikani stood by the radio for a good few moments, running through everything she had heard so far. The other ships experienced the strange flash of light, which seemed to be the cause for their transportation to this place. There was still several questions that hadn't been answered, such as how or why they had been sent here, or where here even was, but those would have to be answered later. Besides, she doubted that any of the other ships would know, given that they all were apparently brought to this place just as she was.

Next, the captain of the other ship, this 'Valtrix', directly addressed her, asking for everyone to have a face-to-face meeting aboard his ship. As his message finished, she stood by the radio, contemplating her choices. A face-to-face meeting would help to reduce the confusion surrounding this whole scenario, and he did bring up a good point in that, if they didn't do something, someone could get spooked and start shooting. Although, she was always worried about the possibility of walking into an ambush. Exhaling, she turned to face Shelley. "What's your opinion on all this?"

"It seems like a good idea. I can feel that you're worried, but they would have nothing to gain by attacking us." She walked up beside her. "Maybe we could finally get some answers."

"Maybe." She looked back towards the radio, which was picking up transmissions from the other ships. There were a few different people speaking, who sounded Terran from their voices and the names of their ships and governments. Shelley took a step closer to the radio, a curious expression on her face. Ikani turned to face her. "Do you recognize them?"

She shook her head. "They're from Earth, but not our Earth. The United Nations was an old multinational organization on Earth. In our...uh, universe, I guess, they eventually became the United Earth Directorate. But, it seems where they came from, the United Nations didn't collapse, and survived long enough to have their own space navy."

Ikani nodded. "I see..."

"It also seems like, despite the similarities, they're from different universes, because one's the United Nations Cosmos Navy, and the other's the United Nations Space Command. Or the United Earth Government...well, on behalf of the United Earth Government, so they're probably a branch of their military. Huh..."

"This is why I don't bother with Terran politics." Grumbling, she pressed a button on the radio, preparing to send another transmission.

"Are you going to take up his offer?"

"I suppose I am." Pressing a button, she began to broadcast on an open channel. "Renatus, this is Broodmother Ikani. You will have your meeting. Tell us where to land, and we will be on our way." She paused for a moment, considering the ship that apparently lacked shuttle craft. "And to the Andromeda, while we could technically carry your personnel to the meeting, our...shuttle craft are not exactly designed to be used by Terrans. If nobody else is willing to, we can take you, but I recommend you look towards the other ships for help with your issue."

I'll probably wait until tomorrow for my next post.
Michael and Franklin

Level 4- (0/40) EXP / Level 2- (17/20) EXP (+2 EXP) (Level Up)
Location: Peach's Castle ---> On the Road
Wordcount: 896



After Franklin put the strange pistol away, Ratchet interjected, explaining what he thought the weapon was. The two men turned to face him, Franklin especially interested in what he had to say. "Plasma, huh? Damn, that really is some alien shit, then." He gave the lombax a thumbs up as he moved away, grateful for the information. Linkle appeared soon afterward, questioning the fact that Michael hadn't seen a gun like the one that Franklin now had strapped to his belt. "Almost all the guns on my world are based on gunpowder. We don't have guns like that, except for in science fiction. Still, if what Ratchet said is true, using it shouldn't be too different from using a normal gun." He looked away, to the direction of the karts. "If you'll excuse me, I probably should find something to ride before I get left behind."

With that, Michael headed out to the karts, looking through them to find something that would work for him. Looking through the vehicles, what looked to be a scooter caught his attention. Hopping on it, he revved it up, and drove it in a circle for a quick test run. "Woah!" Despite its appearance, it was still quite fast. Well, guess I'll take this one...at least Trevor's not here, he'd never let me live this down.

Franklin, meanwhile, looked over to the Wario bike, making sure that it was still available. While he was less familiar with a chopper than a traditional motorcycle, it was still a fine vehicle. Before he could ride off on it, Linkle approached him, asking for him to teach her about karts. He gave a nod, walking over to the karts. "Uh, yeah, come on, I'll tell you about it."

He walked over to the nearest kart, stopping beside it. "Now, how these things actually work is pretty complicated, and I don't have time to get into that, but anyways..." He pointed to inside the kart, towards the gas pedal, the brake, and the steering wheel. "That's the accelerator, you press that to speed up. Next to it is the brake, you hit that to slow down. And there's the steering wheel, you turn it to turn the kart. These things are pretty easy to control, so don't worry too much about it, you'll get the hand of it pretty quick. We'll be on the road for a while, so you'll have plenty of time to learn how to drive it." With a nod, he headed off towards the Wario bike, hopping on and preparing to ride off with the rest of the group.


After everything that had happened, Franklin felt good to be back on the road, albeit an unfamiliar one. Driving had always helped calm him down, and the bike he was sitting on was certainly fun to ride. The two bike riders were on opposite ends of the convoy, using the agile bikes to act as sentries for the less agile karts. For a while, there was nothing but the sound of engines and the dust kicked up by Bowser's vehicle as they drove across the seemingly empty land. However, once the convoy entered a more open area, someone noticed them.

Michael spotted them first- what looked like cars in the distance, approaching quickly. "Aw, shit..." He could see five vehicles, all cars that looked straight out of a post-apocalypse movie. Despite their ramshackle construction, they were actual cars, not karts, and their size compared to them would mean that the karts would be crushed if they were rammed, which it looked like they were trying to do. Plus, two had guns, while one had guns and a spiked ram. As they got closer, the sound of music could be heard. Like a hunting party... Michael frowned. If they wanted to hunt them, they would have to get through him first.

The other members of the party were quick to act, letting loose a variety of attacks. Bowser spat fire and his son shot out an oil slick to trip them up. The new guy shot energy blasts from above, managing to disable one of the cars. The Centurion was hit with a spell that turned him giant, and the Courier began to fire from his position on Bowser's car. Looking towards Franklin, they shared a nod, getting ready to launch an attack of their own.

The two bikes pulled up to the side where the cars were, moving erratically to avoid gunfire. Fortunately, their guns didn't seem very accurate, and the agile bikes were fast enough to keep out of their lines of fire. Michael took out his Uzi, firing bursts at any vehicle that got too close to the convoy. He tried to aim for the windshields, trying to disable the cars by killing the drivers.

Franklin, meanwhile, took out the plasma pistol, aiming it at the car with both guns and blades, which seemed to be the biggest threat. Alright...let's see if this thing works. He pulled down the trigger, but instead of firing a shot, it began to charge, green energy accumulating on the tip of the weapon. Let's hope this doesn't explode in my face... He continued to charge the plasma pistol until it appeared to reach a limit, at which point Franklin released the trigger, sending a bright green bolt of charged plasma at the car.
Moonreaver
Location unknown



Ikani reflexively lifted an arm to block the sudden flash of light. As she lowered her arm, she immediately noticed that something was off. Moving over to the membranous window, it took a moment before she realized what was wrong. "Shelley, check the starmap."

The infested Terran was already moving even before she gave the order, pushing a button on the starmap to activate its holographic display. She hurriedly flipped through several maps, a panicked look on her face. After a pause, she looked up at Ikani. "I don't know where we are...this system doesn't match anything on record."

Ikani looked into the distance, her mandibles contorting into the Zerg equivalent of a frown. "The stars are different, too." She turned to face Shelley. "Did you see a bright flash of light?"

"You saw that too?"

Ikani turned back to the window. "I see." Closing her eyes, she immersed herself in the psionic network. Fortunately, the many Zerg organisms on board seemed to be unaffected by the strange event, a fact that gave her some comfort. Pushing them aside, she turned to the ship itself, looking at what the massive creature was sensing. While she couldn't spot any sort of landmarks, there was something else far more important that she noticed. "We're not alone."

Shelley nodded, seeing the same things that Ikani was seeing due to also being part of the psionic network. "I don't recognize any of them. They all have different designs, and none of them match any Terran or Protoss design that I know of." She walked over to the radio, turning it on just in time to catch a transmission, something about an 'Atlantis'. "Two of them appear damaged, and none of them have made any sort of hostile action towards us. It might be best if-"

Before she could finish, another transmission came on, asking the other vessels to identify themselves. Ikani walked over to the radio, listening in as the transmission finished, promising to attack the others if they weren't peaceful. "Broodmother, the ship that sent the transmission appears to be aiming its weapons at us, along with the other vessels." Shelley said, walking beside her.

"It seems they are serious about upholding their promise." Ikani stood silent for a while, considering her options. She could attempt to make an emergency jump, but the other ship would likely be able to fire on them before they could escape. And besides, where would they go? The more they looked at the evidence, it seemed more apparent that they were far, far away from the Koprulu Sector. They could try to attack the other vessel, but she had no idea as to what sort of armament it had. For all she knew, a single shot from it would tear Moonreaver to a bloody pulp. There was only one good option, it seemed. Letting out a deep breath, Ikani activated the radio, preparing to broadcast on an open channel. "I suppose there is no harm in answering them."

Clearing her throat, Ikani began the broadcast, aimed mostly at the ship that was currently aiming their weapons at her, but also to the other ships. "Attention, unknown vessel 'Renatus'. This is Broodmother Ikani, captain of Moonreaver, of the Zerg Swarm. We have no intention of attacking you, or any other vessel. We are... She paused for a moment. "...confused. We do not recognize the stars here. There was a sudden flash of light, and then we were here. Did you experience something similar?" She asked, to the Renatus, but also to the other ships nearby. If they experienced the same phenomenon, it might somewhat explain what had happened here.

I'll try to post tomorrow.
Where did we get teleported to? Are there any planets or landmarks or anything nearby? And are the ships near each other or far away?
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