Thinslayer

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

the end goal of the post felt like it was getting to the council chambers, not necessarily getting to the doctor based on my letter sorry i misinterpreted.

@Rhiven Knight

I figured as much; I likely would have done the same thing in your shoes. That was my bad. Maybe what I need to do is use descriptions to draw interest. If I had spent a little time introducing the doctor to you in the letter and gave a reason why Rhayven should interact with her, would that have helped?

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

@Rhiven Knight
It was! I especially enjoyed the atmospheric description of his home and personal life. It's hard to put my finger on it, but the way it was put together really helped evoke images of the scene. Definitely has good re-readability. I like your style; don't change it.

Consider slowing down a bit, though; the pre-council introduction to Dr. Hawthorne was supposed to be significant. It's okay, though - the doctor has a good sense of humor. :P

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

What I'm aiming for is to give players the freedom to make interesting choices and thereby create interesting stories. Players don't want or need too many choices, or they can get overwhelmed by them and develop writer's block. Give them too few choices, though, and I might as well be writing the story myself. I'll be experimenting with GM styles a bit over the next few posts, so please bear with me.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

Oof, one-word replies make me feel like I screwed up (though I know that's not the intent). :3

I'm curious now, though: would you guys like me to use tabletop-style descriptions, or more conventional storytelling? We can experiment with both to see what works for everyone.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

@Rhiven Knight
Write however you feel comfortable. My goal was to give players another exploration tool for when they want to go off-script. Like, right now, I'm railroading everyone's characters to the Council Chamber by limiting everyone's choices. I chose not to describe the three sets of doors in the lobby, the checkered floor pattern, or the candlesticks on the tables because they're not relevant (or I don't want them to be relevant). However, you can force them to be relevant by making me describe them. The underline helps give you the power to do that.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

If I may, I'd like to add a tabletop element: Perception Check. Anytime you'd like additional info about your surroundings, underline your words requesting it, and my next post will provide info about what your character can perceive at that moment. So for example:
_


Player:
John Doe walked into the room and ran his hand through his hair. He'd been trying to find his whiskey all morning, and expected to find it in his study.

GM:
Unfortunately, there was no whiskey in the room. It seemed different somehow- cleaner, like someone had gone over it with a duster. Perhaps that person took his whiskey.
_

You could also ask straight-up. Additionally, I can mark important choices with underlines. For another example:


Player:
Sir Knight looks around the lobby at nearby people as he heads further inside the castle.

Where does the lobby door lead?

GM:
Most of the folks in the lobby are servants, though one of them is a striking redhead in a healer's coat. She is doling out potions. The lobby door leads to the Great Hall, where the dances, banquets, and public ceremonies are held. There are actually several doors in the lobby, and the guard looks like he would rather you didn't wander off.
_

Don't worry about post lengh. I would much rather see players make short & interesting choices than long-winded & boring ones (if you can only do one or the other). I can still get a kick out of a great one-liner, and sometimes just a few words are all that's appropriate. Remember, this is a Casual RP; don't feel obliged to write a novel every time you post. :P

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

@Rhiven Knight@Celsius@unicorgi@AtomicNut@Darkwatck01@Lumiere@Pie Flavor

New Location Discovered: Southaven

This bustling metropolis serves as the capital of Drakengard and domain of its namesake Haven tower. With its paved roads, sewage system, street lights, and social services, it's one of the most modern cities this side of the continent. The palace sits at the base of the Haven tower, thoroughly dwarfed by the ancient structure, but still an impressive marvel of architecture in its own right. With its precise stonework, intricate carvings, and botanical gardens, the palace's splendor truly fits the noble lineage it houses.

You arrive in the palace lobby, whether by magic or some other mode of transport, to find it abuzz with activity from nobility and commoners alike. Standing tall amidst the busywork are two guards: one a handsome, clean-shaven blond with a permanent smirk, the other a chubbier fellow with tousled brown hair and a warm smile. Both are currently engaged in giving directions to visitors, and when they see you, they wave you over.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

@Rhiven Knight@Celsius@unicorgi@AtomicNut@Darkwatck01@Lumiere@Pie Flavor
Everyone should have their letters PM'd to them now. Once I get the post about Southaven up and running, everyone may make their replies.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

Yeah, the kidnapping scene isn't meant to be where we start off. It's a context shot showing the story's inciting event. We'll be starting off one sunny morning in the capital, in response to our summons.

The Faraway Land: Knights vs Dragons (CLOSED)

The OP is up! Let me know how you like it. I'll write everyone's intro letters Saturday.

EDIT: The scene is not intended to be where the player characters start off; rather, it's a context scene showing the details of the story's inciting event. The post we reply to will be coming shortly.