Vash

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

Updated Captain Renault's biography...finally.

Preparing IC for shipment.

Finishing up one last biography first before I ship the IC.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

Leo.

This is exceptionally well done. There is a lot of work put into this. Without a doubt I can say that you know of your way around a typewriter when you put your mind to it. The transformation that your character went through to hit this point is phenomenal and you should be proud of yourself.

Accepted. Please have Nico report to the character page post haste.

Sorry for the delay in my back end work. I was hit with a writer's block wall, but it's getting better.

I think we've waited long enough. The IC will go up as soon as I get my two characters done. It won't be until this afternoon but it'll be done today.

All aboard the hype ship!

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

I think I'll be adding a section to my bio detailing my encounter with the boss and being hired.

@Voltus_Ventus

I'm actually updating my character post (Cougheventuallycough) with an NPC information saying...well, this:

Head mechanic Teddy Grufman.
An toublemaker in his youth, Teddy grew up a farm boy that fixed tractors for a living before taking off when he was sixteen to join an engineering core. He doesn't speak much about his past and the captain doesn't ask considering the man is a wiz with machinery. He and his protege' Nikola have been keeping the engines in tip top shape with barely enough supplies for years.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

@Vash

I thank you for your consideration, but I am reluctant. It's not the fact that my character is criticized, it's the fact that he seems almost mocked. If specific ways of which he seems 'bland' or blatantly overpowered, where given- that's one thing- but I'm not given specifics, just generalization.

'Your character is a Mary Sue, Your character is overpowered, Your writting is bad, etc.'

That's how it's coming across. If you told me my character is bland because: He lacks personality, his backstory seems copy and pasted, his skillset seems weak- that all I'm receptive to. Yeah, I may be a little adverse to criticism- and I won't go into why- but I do my best to adjust if given the cause for the criticism. So if someone can point out what I need to work on, I'll gladly thank them for their effort and take it into consideration. But as such, you already stated that this is a limited slot RP, and I don't want to take up the slot of someone who has a better flushed out character that fits the setting better.

@Leolycan

Yeah, that's the problem, we have 8 now, caits will most likely make 9, Tyrant would make ten, but we have not heard from him since he posted two days ago. No new recruits have shown interest thus far and, if you and Tyrant end up both posting CSs, I'll probably bend if they're both good.

Here's what you need to work on in your bio:

You need to flesh it out way more. By that I mean explain what's going on. What made him viable to join spec ops? Why not join an engineering division of special operations instead? Those do exist. How did he make his armor? Why did they not simply slap a prosthetic leg onto him and get him back to work? Special operations would definitely have the money. Why would he join the pirates? Why not have him leave or discharged for some reason due to being disgruntled or unhappy? There is a lot to work with. Think outside of the box with it. He could have been discharged for "fixing" the general's car and making him crash it for no reason.

Another thing: He came across as being proficient at engineering, stealth, and combat. We figured that since he was in special operations, he would have been trained specially for self defense and not be useless up front. If he was in an engineering division, I could understand your point assessment.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

@Penultimate_Pi

Sorry. I'm more than open for you to pm the write up, so I can look over it for furture references, but I'm withdrawing from this specific one. Thanks again for the offer, and thanks ahead if you send the feedback.

@Leolycan

Eh, the point is I'm not welcomed here. As such, I'll be withdrawing. Thanks for your time.

@Leolycan

No. Absolutely untrue. Lycan. This is as much a learning experience as it is an rp. You don't have to leave just because you think you are below the skill level. You made an attempt at a CS and it ended up flawed. All cs go through that time and all players go through the same time themselves where they must learn and adapt and become better writers. I apologize for coming across as an ass and making you feel unwelcome. I admit that in my time as a roleplayer I have become a lot more cynical than most people and it's impacted a lot of experiences due to brashness and confrontationalness that was built over years of seeing writers make mockeries of the spirit. There are a lot of very good writers out there, many of which are surrounding us now. It takes a lot of criticism and harsh lessons to become the best writer possible as it's not something one can learn over night.

Please, I invite you to sit down and try again and let us walk you through what makes the difference between a "Gary stu", a good character, and a great written persona.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

@Vash My WALL OF FUCKING TEXT CS on page three is done. Sorry for the wait. Also, have another preemptive apology for all the reading you're about to do.

@DemonTongue

Get that CS into the character bin.

Don't think I'm alone in thinking your CS was amazingly well done.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

<Snipped quote by Vash>

1: Not very clear on this term and what it means... So I have no retort on that one other then to say I'm sorry?
2: He's a tinkerer. He's handy in the form of invention and stealth, with no real outstanding physical strength or prowess to speak of. In range of 1-10: Machines 8, stealh 7, combat and physical strength 4-5. As such, if I wrote his physical strength as being more than it is, I'd be more then happy to change it.
3: I understand that it was vague. Half the reason I contacted you in PM, because even after reading the setting, I wasn't sure if you had fully mapped out the world or if you were looking for the pcs to build it. As such, I could've gone into greater detail, but the CS was merely to give an impression of the character. The reason why said spec-ops took him was they saw an ability that they could refine. So it took him from (respectfully from before): 6-5-3 to his stats now.

@Leolycan

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mary+Sue

Mary/Gary sue.

In other news, after I get home, I should have plenty of time to fill out the back end of the rp and fill out npcs, finish cs, and fix stuff across the board. Stay tuned.

@Mr_pink

Yes, she's accepted. Just edit her into your already existing character post.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

Finished my other character. I'm happy to have it be a replacement character if you want to keep slots open, I feel like I'd probably write this one better anyway.

@Mr_pink

Mate, you can play her now if you want.

We have ten writer spots. Not character spots. If you want to play multiple characters, go right ahead.

@Caits
After some deliberation, I wished to ask you to keep an eye out for a better photo. On a professionalism's level, a stock photo isn't exactly awesome.
@Inuyasha after discussing him, a consensus was reached. Clint Eastwood your sky cowboy is accepted.
@leolycan

After a long discussion, we have several problems with your charrie.

1: he comes across as Gary stu. This is a big nono.
2: he comes across as a jack of all trades, master of all. The formula normally is: jack of all trades, master of none. Keep this in mind for the rewrite.
3: your bio is very vague. Enough so to make us stop and question his position. I doubt a special operations team would take somebody with a "knack' for espionage or moderate physical traits. Please elaborate on this.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

Okay, good to know. Any specific qualms with mine that I might be able to remedy in the mean time, or is it just a matter of wait and see?

@Inuyasha

It's a matter of wait and see. Consensus will most likely be achieved by later today. *beep boop*

@Caits

°o°
Here's hoping you get better real soon! Try pumpkin oil. It cures nothing, but it feels weird and will distract you.

Aether: Legend of the Crimson Dusicyon - Now Recruiting Crewmates!

@Aoal

Three issues.

One: You did nothing to remedy the issues I had mentioned other than de-godifying your weapon.

Two: Your character's bio is such a mess that I can't even bring myself to read it a second time. Look at everybody else's CS. Learn from them. Learn that this is NOT free roleplay. If you want to write like this, go to free.

Three:

IS THIS GOOD SENPAI?!

@Aoal

This sent me over the edge.

Denied.