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"WELCOME TO APPLEBEES,HOW MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER???"
i'm very sorry
This is exactly the sort of attitude we need around here. Join us and help us make meme city great again!
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- Old Guild Username: yoshua171
- Joined: 11 yrs ago
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6 yrs ago
The Truest and Most Ultimate Showdown has beguneth. Goofykins V.S. SpongeByrne!
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6 yrs ago
Does anyone know where I can figure out how to unfabricate memories? Asking for a friend.
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6 yrs ago
Check out our new and improved thread. Just an interest check for now, but oh boy is there so much more to come! roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
8 yrs ago
Oh Bleach RP oh Bleach RP where art thou oh quality Bleach RP. Why hast thou forsaken thee? Seriously though, WHY!?!
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This is exactly the sort of attitude we need around here. Join us and help us make meme city great again!
Hell was not a place, nor an ideal. It is our own psyche, forever tortured with the guilt of our pasts. Moving forward. Consuming all. Hell is always surrounding you. It's odd. Death is the only release from hell. This hell. The hell of life. Escape is impossible as it is only human to torment yourself in such a way.
Lore Entry:
Hell 7: Your own Mind and the world you live in every day.
"One moment, bapadee, another moment bapa da da in your mom."
The aliens looked terrified, or they would look that way if we knew how to comprehend their expressions, which we didn't, because they were alines. Idiot.
They went from this:
To this:
Or had they always been like that? Yup, they were definitely like that before. Nothing to see here, no changes whatsoever. What? You don't believe me or something? Why you lookin' at me like that. Okay look, I'm lying, go back and find the first picture of them. They look the goddamn same. I'll wait.
Who'm I kidding no I won't. Don't waste my time.
Anyways, the alines were pretty scared, but that was okay, because the Crusaders started saying "Deus Vult," which in their language meant "Give me a hug or we go to war." It's a beautiful, complicated language called Neurolatin. Look it up. Oh wait, you can't because you don't have space google. Sucker.
The aliens opened their arms, and bared themselves to the Crusaders, dropping their arms--no not their biological arms, the weapons they were holding. Yeah, good job buddy. However, before they knew what hit them--it was swords and various other medieval weaponry--they got skewered and crushed.
Or at least, the first aline of offensitude did. Reacting to the violencitude, the aliens roared, and struck out, two of them picking up their space ship, or what we'd thought was their space ship, and using it to crush some of the Crusaders--aka they were using their spcae ship as a bludgeoning tool because the alines were total badasses unlike you. Maybe you should have thought about that before attacking them @ArkmageddonCat.
Nearby people started running and screaming, fleeing from the scene. The firefighters arrived, followed by an electrician and a plumber.
They would be useless for about 89.50% of the operation and useful for about the other 1%. You want to know about the rest of the percentage? Too bad. You'll find out when I decide to care. Get kid scrub.
"When my grandfather was a child, he used to run along the power lines an---"
WRONG FLASHBACK!
"They say that in the Fluu-ounce zone the darkness consumes even the teets of babes. Whether those babes are women or babies the world will never know. Not even sure if this information is reliable, I mean look at me, I'm a duck."
No wait that's a crocodile, THIS is a duck.
So majestic.
Sophisticated.
The plumber is stopping everyone from drowning by uncloging the sewers. The electrician is fixing the powers lines.
The firefighter is desperately trying to put out the fire that has been lit in everyone's hearts. He will fail. He always fails. You had one job Phil.
Meanwhile the sky has continued to be lit af, it's getting darker, the fight has already lasted 20 parsecs, which is about the amount of time it takes for one sunset to turn into another sunset.
It's been a whole day and they're still at it. If nothing else I can commend their endurance.
Oh yeah, don't forget that duck, he'll be important later.
If I feel like it.
NAPPING.
Suddenly waking up from his Cryoillumination pod, Otto noticed that it was a day after the Battle of Today had begun. He'd heard about the alines on the news, but hadn't believe it. However, after coverage had continued for a whole day it was hard NOT to believe that they were idiots. Those Crusaders were crazy, fighting thin air. I mean, there was a spaceship there, but he hadn't seen anything else present except for the people, and those had been humans...were still humans.
He wondered when Princess Trump would start actually doing xeir job and policing xeir city. Shrugging he rose from his bed and retrieved his slightly mangled INDUSTRIAL ductape throwing cards, putting in their anti-adhesive container, before he headed out of his bunker and into his kitchen. He made eggs and bacohohohon*french accent* before deciding he wanted to go out for brunch instead. He threw the plate onto the ground and it shattered before dissolving into the ether plane where it would stay until it became a temporal rift approximately now.
Otto stepped through the templatoral rift, leaving the remains of his food on the ground for his invisible dog.
It should be noted that Otto's place is covered in food from head to toe, from ceiling to foot, from floor to head. It's a pig's stie, though not quite literally. Or well...I mean, most of it IS bacon, so it's almost literal, but still not quite there. Maybe it'll get there later. We'll see how the universe is feeling at that point.
Otto stepped out the other side of the portal and entered a Mcdonalds, which he hated. He promptly through one of his duct tape cards at someone and then left. This will not be relevant later. So forget it. I'll wait.
I waited long enough. Otto promptly found a Wendy's, which was being unironically served by anime girls wearing human cosplay. It was weird, and oddly arousing. Once he'd finished his doubletap burger and his Jankerstoodle, he went out and glanced around. There was not a single child in sight. There was not a sight to see of child within radius of his eye seers. There wasn't anything to see here boys. Run on home now.
NO, NO WE WILL NOT IMAGINARY SHERIFF, WE'RE HERE TO TELL AND READ THE STORY.
Well alright, sorry Mr, I didn't mean no harm.
*The imaginary sheriff promptly explodes into cotton balls*
Otto has crossed the street by now, having none of our shit despite being able to perceive all of us with the Eyes of Kiddd. He misses his turn and stumbles into a rather attractive person.
Who is she?
Her name is Adult Dora.
Do you feel old yet? Too bad!
The aliens looked terrified, or they would look that way if we knew how to comprehend their expressions, which we didn't, because they were alines. Idiot.
They went from this:
To this:
Or had they always been like that? Yup, they were definitely like that before. Nothing to see here, no changes whatsoever. What? You don't believe me or something? Why you lookin' at me like that. Okay look, I'm lying, go back and find the first picture of them. They look the goddamn same. I'll wait.
Who'm I kidding no I won't. Don't waste my time.
Anyways, the alines were pretty scared, but that was okay, because the Crusaders started saying "Deus Vult," which in their language meant "Give me a hug or we go to war." It's a beautiful, complicated language called Neurolatin. Look it up. Oh wait, you can't because you don't have space google. Sucker.
The aliens opened their arms, and bared themselves to the Crusaders, dropping their arms--no not their biological arms, the weapons they were holding. Yeah, good job buddy. However, before they knew what hit them--it was swords and various other medieval weaponry--they got skewered and crushed.
Or at least, the first aline of offensitude did. Reacting to the violencitude, the aliens roared, and struck out, two of them picking up their space ship, or what we'd thought was their space ship, and using it to crush some of the Crusaders--aka they were using their spcae ship as a bludgeoning tool because the alines were total badasses unlike you. Maybe you should have thought about that before attacking them @ArkmageddonCat.
Nearby people started running and screaming, fleeing from the scene. The firefighters arrived, followed by an electrician and a plumber.
They would be useless for about 89.50% of the operation and useful for about the other 1%. You want to know about the rest of the percentage? Too bad. You'll find out when I decide to care. Get kid scrub.
FLASHBACK
"When my grandfather was a child, he used to run along the power lines an---"
WRONG FLASHBACK!
ANOTHER FLASHBACK
"They say that in the Fluu-ounce zone the darkness consumes even the teets of babes. Whether those babes are women or babies the world will never know. Not even sure if this information is reliable, I mean look at me, I'm a duck."
No wait that's a crocodile, THIS is a duck.
So majestic.
FLASHFORWARDS
Sophisticated.
FLASHBang
FlASH--Okay no Seriously back to the Present
-_-
The plumber is stopping everyone from drowning by uncloging the sewers. The electrician is fixing the powers lines.
The firefighter is desperately trying to put out the fire that has been lit in everyone's hearts. He will fail. He always fails. You had one job Phil.
Meanwhile the sky has continued to be lit af, it's getting darker, the fight has already lasted 20 parsecs, which is about the amount of time it takes for one sunset to turn into another sunset.
It's been a whole day and they're still at it. If nothing else I can commend their endurance.
Oh yeah, don't forget that duck, he'll be important later.
If I feel like it.
T H E I N F E R N A L C H I L D B E I N G
NAPPING.
Otto Lancanza
Suddenly waking up from his Cryoillumination pod, Otto noticed that it was a day after the Battle of Today had begun. He'd heard about the alines on the news, but hadn't believe it. However, after coverage had continued for a whole day it was hard NOT to believe that they were idiots. Those Crusaders were crazy, fighting thin air. I mean, there was a spaceship there, but he hadn't seen anything else present except for the people, and those had been humans...were still humans.
He wondered when Princess Trump would start actually doing xeir job and policing xeir city. Shrugging he rose from his bed and retrieved his slightly mangled INDUSTRIAL ductape throwing cards, putting in their anti-adhesive container, before he headed out of his bunker and into his kitchen. He made eggs and bacohohohon*french accent* before deciding he wanted to go out for brunch instead. He threw the plate onto the ground and it shattered before dissolving into the ether plane where it would stay until it became a temporal rift approximately now.
Otto stepped through the templatoral rift, leaving the remains of his food on the ground for his invisible dog.
It should be noted that Otto's place is covered in food from head to toe, from ceiling to foot, from floor to head. It's a pig's stie, though not quite literally. Or well...I mean, most of it IS bacon, so it's almost literal, but still not quite there. Maybe it'll get there later. We'll see how the universe is feeling at that point.
Otto stepped out the other side of the portal and entered a Mcdonalds, which he hated. He promptly through one of his duct tape cards at someone and then left. This will not be relevant later. So forget it. I'll wait.
I waited long enough. Otto promptly found a Wendy's, which was being unironically served by anime girls wearing human cosplay. It was weird, and oddly arousing. Once he'd finished his doubletap burger and his Jankerstoodle, he went out and glanced around. There was not a single child in sight. There was not a sight to see of child within radius of his eye seers. There wasn't anything to see here boys. Run on home now.
NO, NO WE WILL NOT IMAGINARY SHERIFF, WE'RE HERE TO TELL AND READ THE STORY.
Well alright, sorry Mr, I didn't mean no harm.
*The imaginary sheriff promptly explodes into cotton balls*
Otto has crossed the street by now, having none of our shit despite being able to perceive all of us with the Eyes of Kiddd. He misses his turn and stumbles into a rather attractive person.
Who is she?
Her name is Adult Dora.
Do you feel old yet? Too bad!
At the Time it Begins – Though the End is Nigh – and the Middle man has Weed
The sky was purple as the sun began to set, the clouds lit as fuck because of the process. It was an open field in the center of a city, which was half way in ruins and halfway functioning. The city was surrounded by a wall and the wall had a wall and that wall had an etc, just like this sentence: ETC ETC.
It was Princess Trump's city after all and let me tell you, xey had definitely made walls great again, if not cities or countries.
In the sky a ship descended, one seen above in this post. Yeah, that's right, your characters can hear me narrating and see the visual aid. It's meta, deal with it. Anyways, from the sky a ship descended and from the ship the sky ascended. It's relative really—but who cares about that right? ME, I FUCKING CARE, WHOSE ASKIN'.....
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Sorry, the matrix glitched. Anyways, the ship landed and the beams of light began flashing, the music began playing, and all the onlookers couldn't help but begin to dance.
Seriously, that shit was lit af yo.
With people recording and rocking out to the musico, the aliens made their arrival, stepping out of the ship in all of their glory...bearing plasma rifles.
It was...less lit.
Fortunately, due to their anatomy, they would have a lot of trouble aiming. Maybe.
“We are the Sporeumnia Forgoians and we forgo your right to peace, and lack of dancing. Surrendur your city or be laid at peace. Do not force us to reckon the furthendur.”
What will you do. Hell, what will I do. I'm just some guy who lost his body and gut stuck in the Intraternetextual matrixgrid.
Seriously...please help. It's dark here.
Chatterbox
He kept up the charade until, well, a probability was called out and then the least likely thing occurred as a single hub cap essentially took out all of their enemies in one fell swoop. Chatterbox kind of just stared in disbelief, looking confused, rather than completely befuddled.
The one responsible sauntered up and he couldn't help but feel...outdone and disappointed. All of that work for nothing. He stood up, retrieving his fallen items, before grinning. He snatched the stupid tinker gun from Noble's unconscious fingers before he turned to who he only assumed was Gamble.
“Yeah, this way,” he said, smiling, even though he really didn't feel like it. He headed away from the relative carnage and to the remaining borrowed vehicle. He got into the driver's seat and sighed a bit.
One day he'd get to show the others just how useful his power could be. Not today though, unfortunately. On that note he really hoped that no one noticed what he had briefly done to Sofia. Reflex more than anything, but it had helped them survive so he supposed that was what really mattered.
Evelyn Chambers – Tulpa
Evelyn frowned, continuing to run as she did so, though she kept an eye on Protean and her teammate. She didn't like this. He'd said one-on-one, so she couldn't intervene, she also had to finish her run, but she didn't get it. They were a team why weren't they taking him on together or something?
She glanced back at Alessa and co, before turning her attention back to running. She picked up the pace a little, unsure of what to do, and distressed because of it.
Outsider
Smiling a bit at the one who appeared the leader of the Minutemen, Outsider nodded. “Alright, I'll come along then,” he responded before glancing at Kiyoshi as she spoke, “My...other form can fly, but I'd rather not cause a huge stir on the way there, anyway you could help me get there?”
He looked apologetic, hating to ask. If she refused he could just swap forms and follow along.
“Quote Here.”
N A M E
Ioseri Phryenscis.
A G E
Thirty-two.
O R I G I N
Homeland and Locale if applicable.
V I S A G E
Standing at 5'3, her curvaceous body draped in concealing brown and gray robes of late, Ioseri's looks are something that she's had to begrudgingly hide for some time. Still, even with the recent addition of cloaks and hoods to her wardrobe, the woman tends to stand out due to her passionate amber eyes, luxurious auburn hair, and angular features. Still, while she can change her garb, she cannot so easily change her noble bearing or affectations making it difficult for her to stay in one place for long due to her confident stride and outspoken tendencies. In addition to her standard garb Ioseri always wears her Ignis Ornatio, which takes the form of two anklets, two bracelets, and a choker.
If she were to have a choice in the matter, Ioseri would wear far more audacious clothing, and she has kept a few choice pieces of her wardrobe from the past. In particular is her combat garb, which while plain in color, does well to both protect her and accentuate her feminine form. Occasionally, in private, she'll change into one of her red outifts, which happen to be her favorites.
If she were to have a choice in the matter, Ioseri would wear far more audacious clothing, and she has kept a few choice pieces of her wardrobe from the past. In particular is her combat garb, which while plain in color, does well to both protect her and accentuate her feminine form. Occasionally, in private, she'll change into one of her red outifts, which happen to be her favorites.
P E R S O N A L I T Y T R A I T S
Description of personality or list of traits and quirks.
L I F E E X P E R I E N C E S
Description of their relative history. Something put them on the path against the imperium, against the church and it's inquisitors. Doesn't need to be a novel.
E L E M E N T A L A F F I N I T Y
Scholaris Magum; Ignis.
A T T R I B U T E S
List and describe your skills, talents, and magical inventory if applicable.
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