Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Athoriel
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Athoriel Yes?

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Yeah, yeah.... red clay >.>
<.<
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by MarumasaLuckySpectre
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MarumasaLuckySpectre

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•Name: Marumasa Peace
•race: Human
•Age: 18 years of age
•Appearance: Black hair. dark hazel eyes with a bronze colour to his skin, stands at around 6'2 with a slim build, rather skinny. usually seen wearing jeans, a hoodie and headphones always around his neck.

•Personality: Shy and quiet, usually used to being outcasted due to his social awkwardness and inability to socialize easily, usually leading to arguments. Due to being socially awkward, he usually pushes people away, he hasn't really had friends, and those that he had allowed in turned on him.
•Clubs: though he is skinny, Marumasa attends the martial arts club on a weekly basis, that's his only club.
•Brief Backstory: apart from being outcasted, Marumasa's history is like any other normal teen, also excluding the fact he is a contractor. He wakes up and deals with his day like a casual human, his parents back home turned their backs on him when he decided to apply for Covenant Academy.
•Contract(s): Huginn and Muninn

Contracted Beings:
•Name: Huginn and Muninn
•Type: Messengers of Odin
•Personality: Both Huginn and Muninn have a vast intelligence due to their job at storing vast information and giving it back to Odin. Both are very similar in the way they act, cocky, smart, and annoying. Both enjoy pestering Marumasa about everything he does, but they also serve as information brokers for Marumasa, making him one of the most well informed students around. naturally he has increased vision and hearing, and a huge boost in agility.
•Powers: on summoning the pair Marumasa's has, he is able to turn Huginn and Muninn into copies of himself and can temporarily become shrouded in shadows (in the form or ravens).
•Fusion: Marumasa gains wings and talons, still has the buffs from summoning the pair, he also gains dark magic, but only the ability of illusion.
•Summon: The two have extreme speeds, but no way of attacking with enough power, though they can become clones of Marumasa.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tachi
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Okay, so since I'm done sorting stuff out with uni (just got to wait and pray now, ahah), I can get to work on assessing character sheets. I'm going to post this as I go, so if your character's not here, I might edit it in later. Or put it in another post. Just doing this so I don't end up losing the stuff I've written up.

@Yandere Noodle: Firstly, I think I need a bit more than a short quote for the personality section. Secondly, I'm a bit hesitant on all the "super effective against demons/undead" stuff since demons are...well, they probably have a bit of a tendency towards darker personalities (not to say all demons are chaotic evil...or even evil in general), but...angels and demons aren't meant to be representations of good and evil in the RP, they're just things that exist and undead...well, unless it's due to a contract like a bakeneko raising corpses as zombies, any zombie/vampire/etc isn't really undead, they look human and might have traits associated with corpses (zombies looking like rotten corpses, being cold to the touch, having no breath/heartbeat, etc) but they're still "alive". Finally, the previous point aside, I'm really not sure about that resistance ability for the summon. Since, if I'm reading it correctly, it's basically saying if the opponent's a demon/contractor using a demon's powers, she can shrug off anything, even if it should be a lethal hit with no injury whatsoever, which would come under the "no selling" bit in the OP, I'm afraid.

@Enigma: Well, firstly and mostly just as a terminology nitpick rather than an actual problem, I think a kitsune would be a youkai, not a kami. And, more out of curiosity than anything, why are a Japanese spirit's ability names German? As for actual issues, I'm a bit confused as to why you didn't use the character sheet in the OP (although as far as I can tell, the only things you haven't got equivalents for here are the optional backstory field and clubs, which I guess could just be a sign that the character's not in any?). I'm afraid that "can bend light to her will" is a bit too vague for me to accept, since while that could just mean bending light to create illusions, it could also mean the opponent's now in a tiny sphere full of laser-y death. Also, 10-15 minutes...is actually quite a long time. I'd be surprised if a fight lasts more than 5-10 in-character and...honestly, I'd generally put 8-10 as a limit on how long a summon can go all out without needing to return to the other world. Also, are Raum and Trick based on anything kitsune are known for? I mean, I know they do illusions, but I'm curious as to whether or not there's more behind Raum's execution.

Those things aside, they both look like they could be fun characters.

Um, sorry to everyone that's still waiting. Like I said, I will get to other characters. Just not right now, ehe.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Aqua Regis
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Sorry this took so long, every time I tried to get on Mahz was fixing the site lol

Name: Hibiki Coal
•Age: 14
•Appearance: Hibiki is a little small for his age, he has jet black hair like his mother with bright blue eyes inherited from his father. His face is cute and boyish still, with an expressive mouth and slightly heavy brows. His hair is a little long but kept neat like the smart casual clothes he seems to usually wear. His skin has a tanned appearance from his half Japanese half European heritage.

•Personality: Hibiki is polite and reserved at first but is a compassionate person when he does speak, he often feels nervous or shy and lacks confidence in himself. He can be pessimistic but he does not allow that to make him apathetic and is very dutiful and hard working. He can be a little naive sometimes but he tends not to make the same mistake twice and is surprisingly intelligent and resourceful though he tends to stay quiet in class.

•Clubs: He's new, so he needs to find one
•Brief Backstory: His mother was from a rich Japanese family and his father was an up and coming English business man, unfortunately his father died when Hibiki was very young and he and his mother moved back to Japan to live with her family. His life was a strange one and he made few friends as he returned home after school to be tutored and take varying martial arts lessons, something he never enjoyed. Now he has made a contact with one of the family guardians and has been sent to the academy to learn how to use his powers and hopefully come out of his shell a little.

•Contract(s): Mizuchi, the water dragon

Contracted Beings:
•Name: Mizuchi
•Type: Dragon/Deity
•Personality: Stern and patient, Mizuchi is a being that values honour, hard work and intelligence above all things. Mizuchi has a deep respect for all life and the only thing capable of angering him is those who senselessly murder innocents.
•Powers: As well as increased strength, speed and durability the contractor also can manipulate existing water as well as creating water to use. As Hibiki's skill grows so will the extent of these abilities.

•Fusion: Hibiki is unable to fuse but when he achieves this it is said that he is encased in dragon scale armour in the style of a samurai and can wield either a shimmering blue katana or an icy white great spear, the katana increases his cutting power while the spear increases his penetrating power.

•Summon: Mizuchi has two forms, a human and dragon form. At the moment Hibiki's power allows him only to use his human form in which he appears as an incredibly handsome older man with long white hair and a deep blue kimono that has a shifting pattern of purple rain on it. He bears the Azure Katana and can use it either as a weapon or to manipulate water. As Hibiki grows more powerful Mizuchi can summon the Yuki Yari (Snow spear) in his human form and dragon form.

Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by skarsgard
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Hi! so are you guys still looking accepting applications?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tachi
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Yep.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Exit
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I'm interested. It's been a while since I've done this style of RP. Should be plenty fun. I'll get to work on the CS.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tachi
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@gothpuppy: That backstory's...I'm not sure how to put it, but um...it just seems a little odd to me. Also, why is Raiju (not actually a type of thing as far as I know, from everything I've read involving him, he's Raijin's equally imaginatively named pet) named Fenrir? That just seems odd to me. Also, um...please tell me "if he sees one cry though he goes on a manhunt to remove the culprits head" is an exaggeration...Other than that, he seems fine, but I don't think I can accept him as is.

@Wormgod: "Invisibility potions and stuff" is...kind of really vague. I can't accept the character as it is right now.

@Athoriel: So...he grew up in a place that idolised contractors...but was shunned and feared when he became one? I'm not sure if I'm reading that right, but it seems really odd to me. The powers look fine, but I don't think I can accept it at the moment.

@Marumasa: So, why's he an outcast? Is it just because he's socially awkward, so he doesn't make many friends or is there something else? As far as his abilities go, I'd say being able to summon Gungnir would be an ability exclusive to a contract with Odin himself.

@Aqua: He looks fine for the most part. My main concerns are...well, that "water manipulation" might include throwing an entire lake at someone (which...might be a bit too high scaled for an attack from a non-fused contractor) and that it might extend to the water in someone else's body. If it doesn't and if there's some kind of limit on how much he can control, then that's fine. I'm a bit hesitant about the weapons too, since I'm not entirely sure how they're related to a dragon.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Athoriel
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I'm going to just re write that part, sleep deprivation tends to addle the mind -.-
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by MarumasaLuckySpectre
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@Tachi, made some changes ^_^
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Enigma
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Tachi said I think a kitsune would be a youkai, not a kami.

Brainfart, it happens. Changed it.

Tachi said And, more out of curiosity than anything, why are a Japanese spirit's ability names German?

It's imaginative. It's an Anime thing. It seemed fun. It gives a twist. She's a weirdo. Pick one.

Tachi said As for actual issues, I'm a bit confused as to why you didn't use the character sheet in the OP (although as far as I can tell, the only things you haven't got equivalents for here are the optional backstory field and clubs, which I guess could just be a sign that the character's not in any?).

Doing my own thing. Writing CS in my order and leaving it. Being creative. Not expecting the GM to nitpick on my choices as long as I deliver. If he was in a club I'd have said so. Pick one.

Tachi said I'm afraid that "can bend light to her will" is a bit too vague for me to accept, since while that could just mean bending light to create illusions, it could also mean the opponent's now in a tiny sphere full of laser-y death.


Enigma said While within Raum, Kojoro can bend light to her will. At it’s simplest, she can let her enemy see whatever she wants them to see while inside the sphere.

Why would I let an illusionist character be able to shoot lasers...?

Tachi said Also, 10-15 minutes...is actually quite a long time. I'd be surprised if a fight lasts more than 5-10 in-character and...honestly, I'd generally put 8-10 as a limit on how long a summon can go all out without needing to return to the other world.

Now that I have something to base it on since you did not specify in your OP, I changed it accordingly.

Tachi said Also, are Raum and Trick based on anything kitsune are known for? I mean, I know they do illusions, but I'm curious as to whether or not there's more behind Raum's execution.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitsune

"Other supernatural abilities commonly attributed to the kitsune include possession, mouths or tails that generate fire or lightning (known as kitsunebi), willful manifestation in the dreams of others, flight, invisibility, and the creation of illusions so elaborate as to be almost indistinguishable from reality.[14][18] Some tales speak of kitsune with even greater powers, able to bend time and space, drive people mad, or take fantastic shapes such as a tree of incredible height or a second moon in the sky.[22][23] Other kitsune have characteristics reminiscent of vampires or succubi and feed on the life or spirit of human beings, generally through sexual contact.[24]"

Took it as a baseline, added my own thing. Watched one piece and liked Trafalger Law's room.
Now for my own two cents. I don't mind a GM expecting something from his players. I like RPs that are above average. But holy SHIT are you nitpicky. My CS is good. At the very least, it's OK. There was absolutely no need to go over it in the fashion you did. Your rant made me almost wanting to throw the towel for this RP. And most importantly if you take it on yourself and invest this much time to annoy the lights out of your players because their CS doesn't fit 100% what you had in mind then I take the liberty of expecting you to deliver something on your part. After I uploaded my CS I had a look at the IC and your opening post. I was less than impressed.

It's one thing to point out one or to no-nos in your players' CS. That's the right of a GM. But it's a whole other story to turn every stone and every breadcrumb for whatever reasons you may have.

/Rant. That said, if you'll still have my character I'm still in. I just don't enjoy being needlessly criticized.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Aqua Regis
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yeah obv theres a limit which will increase with his skill but atm he is nowhere near being able to do that. Even at his peak a whole lake will be too much

The weapons are because Mizuchi is a warrior too, and he expects his contractor to become one
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Wormgod
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I edited the alchemy section of Phoebe.

Damn Enigma! Give the GM some credit, will ya?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tachi
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That said, if you'll still have my character I'm still in.

I won't. I apologise if you thought I was overly nitpicky, but there was no need for that level of rudeness.

@Aqua: Alright then, accepted.

@Wormgod: Alright, thanks for clearing that up. She's accepted.

@Marumasa: Looks good. Although um, I'd probably say make the buffs for the basic powers not require summoning them, since um...generally, the contract should give them something without needing to fuse/summon.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Wormgod
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Yay! Now to mess with Frank...
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by gothpuppy95
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@Tachi Yes The manhunt is a gross exaggeration. I called him fenrir because i based him off the old norse beast fenrir. I couldn't think of how he classified so i found a canine that dealt with lightning. Rewritting now
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tachi
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Ah, I see. If you can't think of anything for the type, maybe just classify him as Fenrir (or a monstrous wolf?). I get that some things aren't exactly easy to work out a type for, ehe. That field was mainly just there for people signing up with something that's not as...unique as Fenrir or a god, to be honest.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by gothpuppy95
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Finished
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Athoriel
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Athoriel Yes?

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@ Tachi: Alright, I re-did the story part, so it was less of a contradiction. Hope it is all good now, any tips for improvement are welcome.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by MarumasaLuckySpectre
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@tachi, redone the summoning ability, that sound good? :)
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