Rock Killjoy said
So I hope I didn't ramble or overstep in the rp or anything. If I did or anyone sees anything I need to work on please let me know, this is my first advanced forum rp so I'm trying to not mess it up.

Crya said
@Rock Killjoy: Overall you're doing fine, that is pretty much the extent of the control you can have over an NPC. Not fully what I would have had the captain say, seeing that if you knew everything about the Alessian Empire and its actions from the OP this roleplay would be no fun. But it's ok. If you want some advice I'd say to have separate paragraphs between speakers. I understand that this point in the roleplay you can't do much by yourselves (think of this as the intro/prologue to the story). If anyone wants to collaborate on a back and forth between the Jarl or what they find when they go looking for evidence, let me know. I think we can find out a lot more about the Alessian Empire and advance the story faster that way.

Crya said
I didn't go quite into this in my last post but we know Dengeir is paranoid about the Imperials. This is basically his shining moment in life. He's at the top of the world, to the point where he's personally congratulating everyone who signs up as an Alessian soldier. If one of your characters were to pose as one and ask him questions, this would be the time. Also, like you said in your post, Finnen (or anyone) could sneak inside the jail, longhouse, etc.

Crya said
Also, I will be away from my computer tomorrow until the ninth. A collab would be shorter and more ideal for my fingers, which mysteriously turn into potatoes on my iPhone.

Crya said
@Rock Killjoy: Overall you're doing fine, that is pretty much the extent of the control you can have over an NPC. Not fully what I would have had the captain say, seeing that if you knew everything about the Alessian Empire and its actions from the OP this roleplay would be no fun. But it's ok. If you want some advice I'd say to have separate paragraphs between speakers, and some grammar/spelling errors to work on.I understand that this point in the roleplay you can't do much by yourselves (think of this as the intro/prologue to the story, things will change). If anyone wants to collaborate on a back and forth between the Jarl or what they find when they go looking for evidence, let me know. I think we can find out a lot more about the Alessian Empire and advance the story faster that way.

Leidenschaft said
I'm glad you're admitting that.I can only see a few things wrong with the post. For one, the place the Jarl calls his home in Falkreath isn't a palace and calling it such would probably be met with laughter. The Jarl lives in a longhouse, which is pretty much what it sounds like. If you have Skyrim, feel free to hop onto it and check out Falkreath's layout. If not, you can just hop onto a wiki and search it up. A google image search of "Falkreath jarl's longhouse" might turn up a good picture.Also, the people of Falkreath, especially the captain, would've treated you more harshly if they saw you were wearing the trappings of a Reach(wo)man. If you could edit your post with just a quick snippet about Finnen shoving a traveling cloak to cover yourself and a bedroll to wrap your sword in, that would certainly help Alana blend in well. I wouldn't expect the people of Skyrim to take too kindly to the sight of a Forsworn woman with a big sword.

Leidenschaft said
Ah, I see. If no one else bites at the offer tomorrow, I may jump at it. As it stands, I don't want Finnen just doing everything.

Rock Killjoy said
Yeah as for grammar I do apologize, English grammar rules have always eluded me.I hadn't even thought about the fact it wasn't a palace I was typing late last night and it slipped my mind entirely, the scale of falkreath that is. As for the captain I realized basically right after I posted but I was too tired to change it e.e Sorry and thank you both, for pointing these things out.

GreivousKhan said
Kiania will probably be heading directly to the recruitment station. Indirect subterfuge is not her style.Also, Road Brother you take powerfully from Emperor of Thorns much, uh?

Leidenschaft said
Indeed. A blend of Brother Sim and another character I wrote with a long time ago. Mark Lawrence, pretty cool guy.

GreivousKhan said
I was kind of afraid he was going to be a Jorge.... :P

GreivousKhan said
It occurs to me I could have worked with one of the mer and played it off as me capturing a spy. Thus gaining their trust, and planting our own spy to discover wherever it is they keep the elves they plan to kill. :K

Juice said
: Lol, great 40K reference. "Titus Sidonus".Anyway, mind if I make a CS?