[OOC] The Alessian Resurgence

[Crya]

@Rock Killjoy: Overall you're doing fine, that is pretty much the extent of the control you can have over an NPC. Not fully what I would have had the captain say, seeing that if you knew everything about the Alessian Empire and its actions from the OP this roleplay would be no fun. But it's ok. If you want some advice I'd say to have separate paragraphs between speakers, and some grammar/spelling errors to work on.

I understand that this point in the roleplay you can't do much by yourselves (think of this as the intro/prologue to the story, things will change). If anyone wants to collaborate on a back and forth between the Jarl or what they find when they go looking for evidence, let me know. I think we can find out a lot more about the Alessian Empire and advance the story faster that way.

[Leidenschaft]

Rock Killjoy said
So I hope I didn't ramble or overstep in the rp or anything. If I did or anyone sees anything I need to work on please let me know, this is my first advanced forum rp so I'm trying to not mess it up.

I'm glad you're admitting that.

I can only see a few things wrong with the post. For one, the place the Jarl calls his home in Falkreath isn't a palace and calling it such would probably be met with laughter. The Jarl lives in a longhouse, which is pretty much what it sounds like. If you have Skyrim, feel free to hop onto it and check out Falkreath's layout. If not, you can just hop onto a wiki and search it up. A google image search of "Falkreath jarl's longhouse" might turn up a good picture.

Also, the people of Falkreath, especially the captain, would've treated you more harshly if they saw you were wearing the trappings of a Reach(wo)man. If you could edit your post with just a quick snippet about Finnen shoving a traveling cloak to cover yourself and a bedroll to wrap your sword in, that would certainly help Alana blend in well. I wouldn't expect the people of Skyrim to take too kindly to the sight of a Forsworn woman with a big sword.

[Leidenschaft]

Crya said
@Rock Killjoy: Overall you're doing fine, that is pretty much the extent of the control you can have over an NPC. Not fully what I would have had the captain say, seeing that if you knew everything about the Alessian Empire and its actions from the OP this roleplay would be no fun. But it's ok. If you want some advice I'd say to have separate paragraphs between speakers. I understand that this point in the roleplay you can't do much by yourselves (think of this as the intro/prologue to the story). If anyone wants to collaborate on a back and forth between the Jarl or what they find when they go looking for evidence, let me know. I think we can find out a lot more about the Alessian Empire and advance the story faster that way.

Back-and-forth, eh? Between the jarl and whom? I wouldn't be opposed to playing the guard captain to your Jarl, if that's what you're implying. I wouldn't see much reason the Jarl would have for telling any of our lot, caked with road-dirt and freshly arrived.

[Crya]

I didn't go quite into this in my last post but we know Dengeir is paranoid about the Imperials, and now he's seeing them crumble. This is basically his shining moment in life. He's at the top of the world, to the point where he's personally congratulating everyone who signs up as an Alessian soldier. If one of your characters were to pose as one and ask him questions, this would be the time. Also, like you said in your post, Finnen (or anyone) could sneak inside the jail, longhouse, etc.

[Leidenschaft]

Crya said
I didn't go quite into this in my last post but we know Dengeir is paranoid about the Imperials. This is basically his shining moment in life. He's at the top of the world, to the point where he's personally congratulating everyone who signs up as an Alessian soldier. If one of your characters were to pose as one and ask him questions, this would be the time. Also, like you said in your post, Finnen (or anyone) could sneak inside the jail, longhouse, etc.

Ah, I see. If no one else bites at the offer tomorrow, I may jump at it. As it stands, I don't want Finnen just doing everything.

[Crya]

Also, I will be away from my computer tomorrow until the ninth. A collab would be shorter and more ideal for my fingers, which mysteriously turn into potatoes on my iPhone.

[Leidenschaft]

Crya said
Also, I will be away from my computer tomorrow until the ninth. A collab would be shorter and more ideal for my fingers, which mysteriously turn into potatoes on my iPhone.

How odd. Have you gone to the physician about this issue? The witchdoctor, even?

So, I guess we could get on a collab if you're going to be away for so long. PM me or give me a titan/piratepad link.

[Rock Killjoy]

Crya said
@Rock Killjoy: Overall you're doing fine, that is pretty much the extent of the control you can have over an NPC. Not fully what I would have had the captain say, seeing that if you knew everything about the Alessian Empire and its actions from the OP this roleplay would be no fun. But it's ok. If you want some advice I'd say to have separate paragraphs between speakers, and some grammar/spelling errors to work on.I understand that this point in the roleplay you can't do much by yourselves (think of this as the intro/prologue to the story, things will change). If anyone wants to collaborate on a back and forth between the Jarl or what they find when they go looking for evidence, let me know. I think we can find out a lot more about the Alessian Empire and advance the story faster that way.

Yeah as for grammar I do apologize, English grammar rules have always eluded me.

Leidenschaft said
I'm glad you're admitting that.I can only see a few things wrong with the post. For one, the place the Jarl calls his home in Falkreath isn't a palace and calling it such would probably be met with laughter. The Jarl lives in a longhouse, which is pretty much what it sounds like. If you have Skyrim, feel free to hop onto it and check out Falkreath's layout. If not, you can just hop onto a wiki and search it up. A google image search of "Falkreath jarl's longhouse" might turn up a good picture.Also, the people of Falkreath, especially the captain, would've treated you more harshly if they saw you were wearing the trappings of a Reach(wo)man. If you could edit your post with just a quick snippet about Finnen shoving a traveling cloak to cover yourself and a bedroll to wrap your sword in, that would certainly help Alana blend in well. I wouldn't expect the people of Skyrim to take too kindly to the sight of a Forsworn woman with a big sword.

I hadn't even thought about the fact it wasn't a palace I was typing late last night and it slipped my mind entirely, the scale of falkreath that is. As for the captain I realized basically right after I posted but I was too tired to change it e.e

Sorry and thank you both, for pointing these things out.

[GreivousKhan]

Leidenschaft said
Ah, I see. If no one else bites at the offer tomorrow, I may jump at it. As it stands, I don't want Finnen just doing everything.

Kiania will probably be heading directly to the recruitment station. Indirect subterfuge is not her style.

Also, Road Brother you take powerfully from Emperor of Thorns much, uh?

[Sovi3t]

I shall have a intro IC up,

Send me the Titanpad/Piratepad link?

[Leidenschaft]

Rock Killjoy said
Yeah as for grammar I do apologize, English grammar rules have always eluded me.I hadn't even thought about the fact it wasn't a palace I was typing late last night and it slipped my mind entirely, the scale of falkreath that is. As for the captain I realized basically right after I posted but I was too tired to change it e.e Sorry and thank you both, for pointing these things out.

No probs. We all had those days of shaky legs in writing...and being really, really tired, too tired to change something...I have a lot of those...

[Leidenschaft]

GreivousKhan said
Kiania will probably be heading directly to the recruitment station. Indirect subterfuge is not her style.Also, Road Brother you take powerfully from Emperor of Thorns much, uh?

Indeed. A blend of Brother Sim and another character I wrote with a long time ago. Mark Lawrence, pretty cool guy.

[GreivousKhan]

Leidenschaft said
Indeed. A blend of Brother Sim and another character I wrote with a long time ago. Mark Lawrence, pretty cool guy.

I was kind of afraid he was going to be a Jorge.... :P

[TaliPaendrag]

If using magic to slip past the guards was too much, let me know and I'll change it. I just wasn't sure how Syndelius was going to get into the city using his skills. :3 Scaling walls isn't exactly inside his area of expertise.

[Leidenschaft]

GreivousKhan said
I was kind of afraid he was going to be a Jorge.... :P

"I drug the guard captain behind the shack. I'd be the first one to admit it wasn't the most tactful way to go about things, but we needed information and scar-tissue would give it to me. If he didn't want to, chop-chop. Couldn't let him run off and tell anyone how we met. People might start talking." - Mark Lawrence decides to RP

[GreivousKhan]

It occurs to me I could have worked with one of the mer and played it off as me capturing a spy. Thus gaining their trust, and planting our own spy to discover wherever it is they keep the elves they plan to kill. :K

[Juice]

@Crya: Lol, great 40K reference. "Titus Sidonus".

Anyway, mind if I make a CS?

[Leidenschaft]

GreivousKhan said
It occurs to me I could have worked with one of the mer and played it off as me capturing a spy. Thus gaining their trust, and planting our own spy to discover wherever it is they keep the elves they plan to kill. :K

Ah, shit, I didn't even think of that. The folly of being a lone-wolf, I suppose. I wouldn't be opposed to collabing with someone when the time comes for everyone to spring their plans. Finnen could help Syndelius get into the jail or the Jarl's longhouse. If Alana is escorted into the Jarl's longhouse she might be able to commit some of the layout to memory and telling Finnen or Quarivien about a few things.

[Leidenschaft]

Juice said
: Lol, great 40K reference. "Titus Sidonus".Anyway, mind if I make a CS?

Wouldn't hurt to post it.

[Sovi3t]

Would a Chatzy channel for this rp be beneficial?