1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NarcissisticPotato
Raw
Avatar of NarcissisticPotato

NarcissisticPotato Dirty on the Outside, Fluffy on the Inside

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

Mass City said
I do not see too many grammar errors. What would you suggest for Reyes? I have no idea on how not to make her overpowered so I went the other direction. Additionally I do not see a problem with her being government. However I am open to suggestions.


Go with the government if you want. Unlike most of the heroes/mercs, I guess you could call in some form of back-up. Also, I do see a few basic spelling mistakes "wapons" being one of them. Fix them up and maybe flesh your CS out a little more and I'll have no problem accepting it!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Mass City
Raw

Mass City

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

I will, it will be a bit.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Name: Dean Kycek/Jenni

Alias(s):Bojangles

Age: 20

Affiliations: The Mercs

Description: Basic description of your character in and out of costume. Out of costume he wears a denim jacket with blue jeans and red shirt underneath,He has black gloves with dark brown shoes and a gold spike earrings in his ears.In costume he wears hospital slacks wearing matching shirt with a doctors gloves and finally a medical mask.

Powers: Dean has psychic and telekinetic powers to control things like cars and medium sized objects along with smaller objects like pens but nothing like building and ships,He can sense other supernatural presences seeing ghost along with showing illusions to criminals to mess with his mind/He also has the power to project the image of his sister much like he could to summon ghost to mess with the criminals but with his sister she can kill criminals with Dean being far away form them.

Skills: Is a master knife wielder,Lock picking,A novice at hand to hand combat.

Equipment: Switchblade knife,Butterfly Knife and Lockpick

Ranking: C

(Optional)
Brief History: Dean was born a twin with his sister Jenni who was latter eaten by Dean while still in the womb leading him to have her personality and mind giving him two personalities,He was a very strange child being a kind child but when Jenni takes over his body he would kill animals even killing another child who was bullying Dean.He later became a superhero to help people much like they usually heroes would but Jenni when she takes over his body wants to kill and only kill.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by AcerRo
Raw

AcerRo Struggling with Sobriety

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

NarcissisticPotato said
:O Dayum, would have never pinned you as Stable-Master-Rumiko!


Agreed, kinda makes me wonder what else I was wrong about.

Letter Bee you need a whole different power set in my mind. One that can use in concert with everyone else. Walking in peoples dreams sounds really cool but since only person has slept this entire rp is that really useful?

Mass City and Eviled I'd like to see more details. More depth to everything. Somehow this has become a high a causal. Just about every post here could be at the least a lowl level advanced. I'd kinda like to keep it that level of detail. That said I'm almost ok with both of them.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Mass City
Raw

Mass City

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

AcerRo said
Agreed, kinda makes me wonder what else I was wrong about.Letter Bee you need a whole different power set in my mind. One that can use in concert with everyone else. Walking in peoples dreams sounds really cool but since only person has slept this entire rp is that really useful?Mass City and Eviled I'd like to see more details. More depth to everything. Somehow this has become a high a causal. Just about every post here could be at the least a lowl level advanced. I'd kinda like to keep it that level of detail. That said I'm almost ok with both of them.


ok i will post something soon
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

AcerRo said
Agreed, kinda makes me wonder what else I was wrong about.Letter Bee you need a whole different power set in my mind. One that can use in concert with everyone else. Walking in peoples dreams sounds really cool but since only person has slept this entire rp is that really useful?Mass City and Eviled I'd like to see more details. More depth to everything. Somehow this has become a high a causal. Just about every post here could be at the least a lowl level advanced. I'd kinda like to keep it that level of detail. That said I'm almost ok with both of them.


Okay well what would you like see changed?Of course i can change it just tell me what needs to be changed.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
Raw
Avatar of Letter Bee

Letter Bee Filipino RPer

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

AcerRo said
Agreed, kinda makes me wonder what else I was wrong about.Letter Bee you need a whole different power set in my mind. One that can use in concert with everyone else. Walking in peoples dreams sounds really cool but since only person has slept this entire rp is that really useful?Mass City and Eviled I'd like to see more details. More depth to everything. Somehow this has become a high a causal. Just about every post here could be at the least a lowl level advanced. I'd kinda like to keep it that level of detail. That said I'm almost ok with both of them.


Even my posts are low-level Advanced, Acer?

Anyway, my intention for Constantine was for him to be a character who can meddle with all plotlines, both Government and Corporate, so that he can push everyone to making things a little easier on the Metahuman community. At the same time, however, I don't want to spend paragraphs describing disguises and such, so I can't make him a shapeshifter or a master of disguise, meaning that I have to go with a power that goes around that requirement.

Any ideas?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NarcissisticPotato
Raw
Avatar of NarcissisticPotato

NarcissisticPotato Dirty on the Outside, Fluffy on the Inside

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

Eviledd1984 said
Okay well what would you like see changed?Of course i can change it just tell me what needs to be changed.


Do a lot more elaboration on his powers! What is the extent of his telekinetic powers? What are these "psychic" powers and explain what he does with the image of his sister? It's very hard for us to judge his power-ranking if we don't know his capabilities. Overall, I love the idea of him changing allegiances when his sister gets a hold of him!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NarcissisticPotato
Raw
Avatar of NarcissisticPotato

NarcissisticPotato Dirty on the Outside, Fluffy on the Inside

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

Letter Bee said
Even posts are low-level Advanced, Acer?Anyway, my intention for Constantine was for him to be a character who can meddle with plotlines, both Government and Corporate, so that he can push everyone to making things a little easier on the Metahuman community. At the same time, however, I don't want to spend paragraphs describing disguises and such, so I can't make him a shapeshifter or a master of disguise, meaning that I have to go with a power that goes around that requirement.Any ideas?


So you want him to be secretive and hide himself away? What about cutting out the middle-man and using some sort of power to affect others' image-processing?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

I edited it how does it look now?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
Raw
Avatar of Letter Bee

Letter Bee Filipino RPer

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

NarcissisticPotato said
So you want him to be secretive and hide himself away? What about cutting out the middle-man and using some sort of power to affect others' image-processing?


Sorry for the delay, and that's awesome; it works! However, it also sounds overpowered, having most of the stuff about Constantine's first power that Acer objected to. However, I think I can impose limits on it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NarcissisticPotato
Raw
Avatar of NarcissisticPotato

NarcissisticPotato Dirty on the Outside, Fluffy on the Inside

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

Eviledd1984 said
I edited it how does it look now?


Much better. First of all, your character is not a C rank, they're at least an A or a B but I'll allow Acer or someone else to decide that.

Also, I was thinking about relaunching an interest-check. Should I just repost the OP or rewrite it out?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
Raw
Avatar of Letter Bee

Letter Bee Filipino RPer

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

I edited Constantine's powers, again!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

NarcissisticPotato said
Much better. First of all, your character is a C rank, they're at least an A or a B but I'll allow Acer or someone else to decide that.Also, I was thinking about relaunching an interest-check. Should I just repost the OP or rewrite it out?


Well i don't want to make him to OP of course so if he sees anything that needs to be changed then i will change it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by AcerRo
Raw

AcerRo Struggling with Sobriety

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

NarcissisticPotato said
Much better. First of all, your character is a C rank, they're at least an A or a B but I'll allow Acer or someone else to decide that.Also, I was thinking about relaunching an interest-check. Should I just repost the OP or rewrite it out?


Start a new one from the ground. I do think someone needs to figure out where we are going with this.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Mass City
Raw

Mass City

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

Name: Elena Reyes
Alias(s):Agent Reyes, Special Agent Reyes
Age: 32
Affiliations:FBI, Heroes for the most part.
Powers: none
Skills: Skilled FBI agent, investigator, interrogator, and training with weapons and martial arts. She also has management skills.
Equipment: Sig Saur 9 millimeter, Ipod, FBI laptop, cell phone, FBI Suburban.
Ranking: N/A
(Optional)
Brief History:Agent Reyes came from a family in the Rampart area of LA. Her family was involved in gangs as far back as she knew. Her brother was involved in gangs and he died in a drive by. This convince Reyes to leave Rampart. However her first hand knowledge of the LA gang scene made her a top candidate for the FBI and they took her from the LAPD academy and took her to Quantico, Virginia and she trained and eventually became an agent. During her early Career she handled gang and Mexican cartel information. In 2010 following Maybark, Her major cases involved Los Zetas, Sinola Cartel, and the Tijuana Cartel. She also has done a case or two against MS-13 and the Bloods. Then she was transferred to the powered individual desk and was sent to the special facility at Fort Irwin (a secret facility favored by American intelligence to handle powered individuals. There she saw several agents from another agency beating the shit outta a kid. She intervened and the kid imprinted on her. Reyes was not pleased that this Wessex kid for some reason had Stockholm syndrome on her. (or as she says some other messed up mental issue) her superiors decided to use this as an option to get a look inside various groups that are not directly affiliated with the government. Her FBI/US Government bosses have an additional mission on for the Wessex assignment but it is not of any hero's concern.
She is now Wessex's handler and makes the child write reports on what he does once a week and debriefs him often.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

So is my are we all gravity?What should i change?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by AcerRo
Raw

AcerRo Struggling with Sobriety

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Go for it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
Raw
Avatar of Letter Bee

Letter Bee Filipino RPer

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Acer! What do you think of the edit to Constantine's Powers?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

Okey Dokey where is everyone so i got a starter of where to place my guy?
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet