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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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Shin Ghost Note JJ IN A GOLD CAPE

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Drake joins the brawl!

.... I should touch up on his sheet later.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Max
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He Who Walks Behind said
Max your sheet brings back memories from the last blind date I went on.


I'm not sorry.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Luminous Beings
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Luminous Beings Not Greg.

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Shoulda put this in the depot. Whoops.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Maxx
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IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING A COLOSSAL 1,065 LBS, FRED "CRUSH" MACROSHELYS!!!!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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Maxx said
IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING A COLOSSAL 1,065 LBS, FRED "CRUSH" MACROSHELYS!!!!


He immediately trips and falls down twelve flights of stairs.

Rip in peppers.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Max
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This is literally the first time in years that I've decided to handle more than one character.

May or may not end well.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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I added descriptions of some NPCs to the third post. Read up on em' real quick, homies.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Max
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The great migration isn't at hand! Don't pack your shit!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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Max said
The great migration isn't at hand! Don't pack your shit!


... I hate you.

Anyways, I made a few edits to Newt's power, specifically her running speed, since it didn't feel "superhuman" enough for me..
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Max
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Mr Allen J said
... I hate you.


I know, Dad. I know.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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I'm going to see about starting the IC after Christmas.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Harbringer
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Harbringer Death to Asgard!

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If you have room for one more, I've got a half-working CS up already.

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jazzy
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I'm Jazzy, MrAllenJ's Co-GM.

I hope when you say half finished you mean open to constructive criticism.

Firstly, you dont decide the power rating. Allen does.

We tend to shy away from bloodbending. We can make an exception, but you'd have to have a pretty good set of weaknesses for Allen and I to even consider the power because of how effective and deadly it can be with so little drawbacks. I, personally, will only allow bloodbending if he can't control the blood in other peoples bodies (Which is a solid 1 hit kill). If he must control other peoples blood, then he should only be able to control blood that's been exposed to air. Of course, the final call goes down to Allen. But that's my personal opinion. I know for a fact he's not going to allow a character who's only weakness is to 'let him run rampant and then get him when he's tired'. You can do better than that. This is advanced.

NEST also does far more than find out information. They are literally the whole shebang in terms of what they deal with. They haven't saved the world from untimely destruction by simply getting information. You also seem to have not read the rules. You're missing something.

I'll save my judgement on other things for now, since I dont want to dog-pile you, but that's by far the most imminent thing that needs to be fixed.

EDIT:
It is recommended that we employ this agent in only the most essential crises if we wish to remain off the news.


You REALLY didn't read the rules, did you?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Harbringer
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My cses are always up for criticism, even after the finished state and i apologise for the transgressions. I just wanted a basic outline to be done before i am forced to interact with my family for christmas. Ill do some basic editing in the morning but the cs remains at around ep percent so try not to judge it too hard. As for the whole other people thing, his control remains over his own only and solely.

EDIT: Yeah, ill admit i only read the top half before excitement took over. Everything will be fixed by tomorrow...i hope...or today. Time passes strangely.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jazzy
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It's all good, it's why we're here. I look forward to seeing the completed sheet.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Harbringer
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That edit should take care of some of the more glaring problems, but the actual edits will have to come in later when I have at least 4 hours of sleep. Or insomnia takes over, whichever one.

EDIT: Oh, and don't worry, that won't be his only weakness. I already have things planned for Elijah. Evil things. VERY evil things.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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Harbringer, I like how your sheet is written. Like it was written by a NEST Agent. But, there's a few things I have to address. Jazzy addressed his power, but there's a few more things that'll need a little tweaking. Now, don't take this as an attack on you, or whatever, you're not "rejected". All you need to do is fulfill is a little editing.

But before I get started; take a second, hard look at the OP. It's clear that you made a few mistakes that wouldn't have been made if the OP had been read a little clear.

Eye Color: Gold


Technicolor eyes!

The attitude of snark and insults is continued, even when he begins his 'work' under us, but he gives up his gentle facade, putting on the guise of a psychopath. He enjoys inflicting pain and suffering on his targets as much as possible before finishing them off, often drawing out an easily won fight with small, gentle slashes to minor veins and arteries and bleeding an enemy out.


Sorry bruh, but this sets off redflags for me. I'm not keen on accepting Socio/Psycho-paths, especially when you tell me that they're going to be portrayed like this. Since this is "half-finished" I believe that this won't be true in the final product; but, I also feel as if this personality needs more detail, since he seems rather one dimensional at the moment.

It is recommended that we employ this agent in only the most essential crises if we wish to remain off the news.


Sorry, but we're not playing as NEST agents. There's only three and they're made by friends, and that's where I'm capping it off. lol

Fashion, fashion, fashion. It might come as a given because of her power, but Shannon is a fashionista. She seems to always know what the best outfits are, and who has the best tastes. It's just because of her love of high fashion. She also likes books, writing, and poetry - She does indulge herself in some writing in her free times. But her favorite would have to be classical literature. Shannon also likes media - her favorite genre would be crime and mystery, like Law & Order. She also watches some cartoons (Like Disney movies) sometimes. Sometimes meaning when no one is looking. Shannon is a fan of ancient History, and Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and so on, cultures.


*Loud cough*

Elijah's main 'skill' if you could call it that would be his connections, with both legitimate agencies and some of the more detestable ones that operate in the darkness. While NEST is interested in obtaining information about these rat warrens, we have decided that it is not worth the possible adverse effects.


Gonna need some elaboration on this. What "agencies" does he have connections to? Even then, I think that's pushing it a bit. We aren't really playing as government agents/super heroes.

While Elijah is capable of enhanced regeneration and blood production, it does not mean that he is a constant fountain...well, it does, but it does not mean that he can produce it quickly in industrial amounts. The longer a fight rages, the more tired and haggard he will get. If he is too liberal with his powers, he will succumb more quickly to fatigue than most other observed meta-humans. If subject runs rampant, it is suggested we wait for him to expend his energy before moving in for neutralisation.


Sorry, but this isn't going to cut it in terms of weaknesses. He has a rather strong ability, and "he gets tired" faster isn't going to work. I feel like he needs two or three more weaknesses. For one weaknesses, I suggest that if he produces too much, all of it doesn't get oxidized properly. Which can cause some problems for him that is.

Internal Damage: Being struck even once by Elijah is a dangerous thing, as he can often leave traces of his own blood within an opponent's bloodstream as observed in [DATA EXPUNGED]. So far he has been observed using it to create artificial strokes and internal haemorraging.


Vetoing this so hard.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Harbringer
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Would this one be more to your liking? I still ahve to adjust some stuff and make a few more weaknesses, but here's the basic framework:
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shin Ghost Note
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Sorry, but I'm going have to say no to that power. Diseases can be played in such a way that it can work in the RP, but Mikael's power can't be. It's simply too strong, all he has to do is release his virus and everyone's screwed. Only two characters (Newt and Henry) could hope to stand a chance against him.

Plus, NEST wouldn't let a Meta-human like him out into the public. So, yeah.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Maxx
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Okay, I'm sorry, but this is completely ridiculous. I may not have a whole lot of power in this rp, but a character who can just release massive clouds of disease at enemies sounds like a very bad idea. What, pray tell, would happen if your character spontaneously gained the ability to, say, utilize the Ebola Virus or HIV? You could autokill anything that moved. Not even Henry's superpowerful immune system could fight off Ebola, and if your character gained the power to use HIV he could wipe enemies' immune systems clean instantly. Even if you say "well he doesn't have those diseases at his disposal and gaining them would put him into a coma (which by the way makes no sense)", the diseases you listed him already having are still extremely powerful. Smallpox has killed more people than any other disease in the world, and the Bubonic plague still kills people today even when the patients are treated with class III and IV antibiotics.

EDIT: Okay, so this was a little harsh. I apologize for being a dick Harbinger (I'm kinda sleep-deprived right now so I'm being a little cranky). We don't mean to dogpile you or anything (though tbh it kinda looks like that) but a lot of people on this website submit some fairly OP characters for stuff like this (I've seen death manipulation, reality warping, and the ability to spawn the actual Satan. It's baaaaad) and after a while it starts to annoy you. Your's isn't as bad as a lot of the others, though.
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