I got a free air mattress?

... Why do I have an air mattress Why did it come from Vegas What the fuck.

Man that thing is probably painted in semen

What happened in Vegas stays in Vegas. There was probably an epic journey with gambits, dice, cards, guns and narwhals. Accept the air mattress with pride. Your secret admirer made a real life action movie to get that motherfucker to you. ... Actually, there might just be bed bugs on it or something and someone threw it away. And you picked it up while sleep walking. Into vegas and back. Idk. Ghosts.

Have a CSI team go through it, make sure it's safe and stuff. Then sleep on it.

Use it to construct the ultimate pillow fort.

Man that thing is probably painted in semen
@Kill Bones

Get a Blacklight in here, this whole place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting. -Starlord Guardians of the Galaxy.

maybe you had a night to remember

I inflated it. Doesn't look infected.

I inflated it. Doesn't look infected.
@Azarthes

Still, I'd see a CSI team about it.

I inflated it. Doesn't look infected.
@Azarthes

Put a black-light over it. If it's clean, keep it. If it isn't clean, send it in for a DNA test. If nothing comes back, throw it out anyways. If something does come back, hunt down the guy whose DNA was on it and give him the air mattress

Im just gonna keep it guys. I dont even have a black light

I just noticed the op ribbon Ain't that handy

You should get a black light, there might be some secret message written out in semen on that thing. Might even be a treasure map to all sorts of booty.

Hey Aza Listen to this Heh Why don't you check the matress for cum stains? LOLOL

At least make sure to cover the mattress with a bed sheet though.

You should get a black light, there might be some secret message written out in semen on that thing. Might even be a treasure map to all sorts of booty.
@JurassicHole

If the guy made cum stains on the air mattress, it might be literal booty. Yarr.

aza Artichokes

Kill Bones

Derpestein The Neckbeard Stroker

The Silver Paladin

Gwazi Magnum

The Silver Paladin

Figen

aza Artichokes

The Silver Paladin

BrobyDDark Gentleman Spidey

aza Artichokes

Figen

JurassicHole Definitely NOT the Mama.

Awson Waiting & Waiting

Gwazi Magnum

Derpestein The Neckbeard Stroker