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[OOC] Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY) Page 2
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World Traveler Word Walker
Member
Seen
19 days ago
Finished a draft of my character. Though still unsure if even my power is acceptable so I didn't feel comfortable committing fully to my sheet. I will be adding more, but would really like some feedback on my power.
Luminous Beings Not Greg.
Member
Seen
1 yr ago
Color me interested. Still room?
Avanhelsing
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
Ooh. Can I join? I need a few more group Rps.
GM
Tyler Me. I Am Tyler... / The Elusive Auteur
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
The roleplay is open for applications. Please don't feel the need to ask for permission to join; post your applications here and Shard and I shall review them together.
We are currently going through the submissions we have received so far and shall post our comments in due course.
We are currently going through the submissions we have received so far and shall post our comments in due course.
GM
Tyler Me. I Am Tyler... / The Elusive Auteur
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@World Traveler
For us to properly give you feedback about Devin's power, we need to know more about it. We appreciate you not wanting to 'waste time' writing something without our approval, but we can't really approve anything until there is something substantial to review. It was not clear to us what Devin would be able to do with his 'dark energy'; words like 'combustion' and 'annihilate' did not really tell us much about what Devin is capable of. We need you to be more explicit when talking about his abilities. You can look at mine and Shard's character sheets for reference.
We also are concerned with the idea of 'dark matter'. It connotes to us things like black holes and all that fun destructive stuff that would be far too overpowered in a roleplay of this kind. We are okay with some kind of 'dark energy' unique to him, but it is important that you specify this is not 'dark matter'.
Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@DrugMother
We really like Genevieve as a character, and you have explained her powerset well. It all makes sense to us. Our only criticism is that the formality of the application needs to be adjusted to properly fit the scenario of applying to a school, but we can see you have begun to edit this already. Your personal statement is most developed of the applications so far in terms of backstory, but we would also like to read more about what kind of thing Genevieve enjoys, and what values she holds. We also need to see a sample post!
So far a good application.
@LokiLeo789
Shard and I both agree that Kane's personality is well executed; however this doesn't belong in the application. You have a similar issue to DrugMother in that the form is not conducted with 'formality', as you would expect from a school application. The problem with your sheet in particular is that Kane's personality and vocabulary is so strong, it distracts from the important information and makes it difficult to understand. We expect that once the tone of the piece is adjusted, we will be able to understand it more clearly.
We don't really understand what the power can 'do' at the minute, and it raises a lot of questions for us. We need more specific details as the description is currently very vague; you talk of manipulating "solids and liquids" and being able to "adopt abilities", and these statements have vast reach. The possibilities are near-endless and we need you to be much more specific when telling us what he can and can't do. We also were curious, if his power is indeed just 'surfing' on things, how it would be useful for him in the roleplay. His power is our main concern at this point.
Your personal statement is good, but it is too concerned with his 'personality'. The aim of this field is to give us an in-depth look at your character's life and interests, his personality should be 'shown' and not 'told'. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@LetterA
We really love that you embraced the opportunity to be creative and experimental with your power..! It's definitely unlike anything we have heard before. Our main concern with the power is that it may become difficult to play, especially as the roleplay focusses on interactions between characters. We also think that the mucus has more potential than is currently being explored.
We feel it would be best if she did not live in a sentient bubble of mucus that might eat her. Instead, we think the power would be best explored in a different format: we suggest that she walks around normally, and is able to secrete the mucus from her skin. She is able to secrete different kinds of mucus that could be devised by you, we were thinking things along the line of a 'healing mucus', a 'corrosive mucus', etc. There would also be scope for you to 'squirt' mucus, like a aquakinetic might shoot jets of water. We think that the 'bubble' could still come into play, but would more likely be her body's response to a near-death experience; she would produce a bubble of mucus that sustains her and nurses her back to health. Please let us know what you think about these suggestions.
We appreciate that your sheet is unfinished, but we also need to see a Personal Statement and a Sample Post before we can approve your application.
@TheWizardLizard
Your sheet was the closest to completion out of all of them. The only thing we would really ask for at this point is more detail in the 'Abilities' section of his powers, as we feel there is more explanation that could be done. We would also like to see a more fleshed-out personal statement and a sample of your writing under the 'sample post' heading.
Everything you have written is fine and we feel most things are explained clearly. We would just like a little more detail in some areas. Thanks for your application!
@Mortalbean
We are aware that your sheet is a Work In Progress and so we will keep most of our review until later, as it mostly pertains to missing information at this point! One question we did want to know was, is there a limit on how many items he can 'dominate' at once, and if so what is this limit? The application is looking promising so far. We like that you added extra information in an OOC tab to allow for development IC.
@Vesuvius00
We love your application so far. We like that, though her guises are seemingly endless, she does not 'gain' anything from them. I.e. she can turn into a huge bodybuilder, but the amount of weight she is able to lift does not change. That is a good balance of the power and you have thought it through well. We have a few questions about the nature of the power:
• How long does it take for her to transform between appearances?
• Is she limited to human-only transformations, or can she turn into animals etc.?
• Can she only turn into people she sees (i.e. uses them as a 'reference'), or does she have free control to change her body at will? (I.e. she could remain her 'regular self' but taller, for instance.)
Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@Liriia
We appreciate that your application is a Work In Progress, so we will not give it a full review just yet. However, we would like to mention a few things about your powerset:
We like the idea of her playing with the light, but we think there is a lot more potential for you to explore and have fun with. For example, bending light could grant her invisibility, or the ability to render other things/people invisible. She could also change the colour of things by changing how light is reflected from it, etc. We would also say that she should be able to generate her own light; we don't feel this is really overpowered as light on its own is not really a major threat. This would allow her to cast 'flashes' of light to disorientate or distract.
There is nothing 'wrong' with your application at the moment and we look forward to seeing how you develop it. It just felt to us like you were holding back in fear of being overpowered; whereas we think you should in fact take the power even further!
*phew*... That was a lot to catch up on for one night of applications! Thanks for all the submissions so far, Shard and I are really excited to see how all the sheets are developed following our feedback.
For us to properly give you feedback about Devin's power, we need to know more about it. We appreciate you not wanting to 'waste time' writing something without our approval, but we can't really approve anything until there is something substantial to review. It was not clear to us what Devin would be able to do with his 'dark energy'; words like 'combustion' and 'annihilate' did not really tell us much about what Devin is capable of. We need you to be more explicit when talking about his abilities. You can look at mine and Shard's character sheets for reference.
We also are concerned with the idea of 'dark matter'. It connotes to us things like black holes and all that fun destructive stuff that would be far too overpowered in a roleplay of this kind. We are okay with some kind of 'dark energy' unique to him, but it is important that you specify this is not 'dark matter'.
Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@DrugMother
We really like Genevieve as a character, and you have explained her powerset well. It all makes sense to us. Our only criticism is that the formality of the application needs to be adjusted to properly fit the scenario of applying to a school, but we can see you have begun to edit this already. Your personal statement is most developed of the applications so far in terms of backstory, but we would also like to read more about what kind of thing Genevieve enjoys, and what values she holds. We also need to see a sample post!
So far a good application.
@LokiLeo789
Shard and I both agree that Kane's personality is well executed; however this doesn't belong in the application. You have a similar issue to DrugMother in that the form is not conducted with 'formality', as you would expect from a school application. The problem with your sheet in particular is that Kane's personality and vocabulary is so strong, it distracts from the important information and makes it difficult to understand. We expect that once the tone of the piece is adjusted, we will be able to understand it more clearly.
We don't really understand what the power can 'do' at the minute, and it raises a lot of questions for us. We need more specific details as the description is currently very vague; you talk of manipulating "solids and liquids" and being able to "adopt abilities", and these statements have vast reach. The possibilities are near-endless and we need you to be much more specific when telling us what he can and can't do. We also were curious, if his power is indeed just 'surfing' on things, how it would be useful for him in the roleplay. His power is our main concern at this point.
Your personal statement is good, but it is too concerned with his 'personality'. The aim of this field is to give us an in-depth look at your character's life and interests, his personality should be 'shown' and not 'told'. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@LetterA
We really love that you embraced the opportunity to be creative and experimental with your power..! It's definitely unlike anything we have heard before. Our main concern with the power is that it may become difficult to play, especially as the roleplay focusses on interactions between characters. We also think that the mucus has more potential than is currently being explored.
We feel it would be best if she did not live in a sentient bubble of mucus that might eat her. Instead, we think the power would be best explored in a different format: we suggest that she walks around normally, and is able to secrete the mucus from her skin. She is able to secrete different kinds of mucus that could be devised by you, we were thinking things along the line of a 'healing mucus', a 'corrosive mucus', etc. There would also be scope for you to 'squirt' mucus, like a aquakinetic might shoot jets of water. We think that the 'bubble' could still come into play, but would more likely be her body's response to a near-death experience; she would produce a bubble of mucus that sustains her and nurses her back to health. Please let us know what you think about these suggestions.
We appreciate that your sheet is unfinished, but we also need to see a Personal Statement and a Sample Post before we can approve your application.
@TheWizardLizard
Your sheet was the closest to completion out of all of them. The only thing we would really ask for at this point is more detail in the 'Abilities' section of his powers, as we feel there is more explanation that could be done. We would also like to see a more fleshed-out personal statement and a sample of your writing under the 'sample post' heading.
Everything you have written is fine and we feel most things are explained clearly. We would just like a little more detail in some areas. Thanks for your application!
@Mortalbean
We are aware that your sheet is a Work In Progress and so we will keep most of our review until later, as it mostly pertains to missing information at this point! One question we did want to know was, is there a limit on how many items he can 'dominate' at once, and if so what is this limit? The application is looking promising so far. We like that you added extra information in an OOC tab to allow for development IC.
@Vesuvius00
We love your application so far. We like that, though her guises are seemingly endless, she does not 'gain' anything from them. I.e. she can turn into a huge bodybuilder, but the amount of weight she is able to lift does not change. That is a good balance of the power and you have thought it through well. We have a few questions about the nature of the power:
• How long does it take for her to transform between appearances?
• Is she limited to human-only transformations, or can she turn into animals etc.?
• Can she only turn into people she sees (i.e. uses them as a 'reference'), or does she have free control to change her body at will? (I.e. she could remain her 'regular self' but taller, for instance.)
Your personal statement is a good start, but we expect the most detail in this field of the application. It is your character's chance to really tell his story to the academy and convince them he needs a place. You can look at the character sheets Shard and I have posted for an example of the content we would like.
@Liriia
We appreciate that your application is a Work In Progress, so we will not give it a full review just yet. However, we would like to mention a few things about your powerset:
We like the idea of her playing with the light, but we think there is a lot more potential for you to explore and have fun with. For example, bending light could grant her invisibility, or the ability to render other things/people invisible. She could also change the colour of things by changing how light is reflected from it, etc. We would also say that she should be able to generate her own light; we don't feel this is really overpowered as light on its own is not really a major threat. This would allow her to cast 'flashes' of light to disorientate or distract.
There is nothing 'wrong' with your application at the moment and we look forward to seeing how you develop it. It just felt to us like you were holding back in fear of being overpowered; whereas we think you should in fact take the power even further!
*phew*... That was a lot to catch up on for one night of applications! Thanks for all the submissions so far, Shard and I are really excited to see how all the sheets are developed following our feedback.
World Traveler Word Walker
Member
Seen
19 days ago
@Tyler
Okay I think I am a little confused about the character sheet. I was under the impression that we were answering the questions like our character would if they were being interviewed. My character has very little understanding of what his powers are and what they can do. That said I put some amount of scientific explanation of what my character can do. I am sorry of the terminology was a little confusing, but I did explain in detail what he is capable of doing. Dark Matter, annihilation, and the other segments in the power description are all real terms used in the field of physics and astronomy which would be the fields his powers draw from. I am not sure where black holes came in as they have nothing to do with Devin's powers, abilities or dark matter.
I can see that my explanation of my characters powers might have been a bit high in the science field, but I am not sure how I should explain the power since my character would only read off what he was told by experts. Should we break character and just give a detailed explanation of the powers maximum ability would be if they were understood and at their peak?
Okay I think I am a little confused about the character sheet. I was under the impression that we were answering the questions like our character would if they were being interviewed. My character has very little understanding of what his powers are and what they can do. That said I put some amount of scientific explanation of what my character can do. I am sorry of the terminology was a little confusing, but I did explain in detail what he is capable of doing. Dark Matter, annihilation, and the other segments in the power description are all real terms used in the field of physics and astronomy which would be the fields his powers draw from. I am not sure where black holes came in as they have nothing to do with Devin's powers, abilities or dark matter.
I can see that my explanation of my characters powers might have been a bit high in the science field, but I am not sure how I should explain the power since my character would only read off what he was told by experts. Should we break character and just give a detailed explanation of the powers maximum ability would be if they were understood and at their peak?
GM
Tyler Me. I Am Tyler... / The Elusive Auteur
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@Tyler
Okay I think I am a little confused about the character sheet. I was under the impression that we were answering the questions like our character would if they were being interviewed. My character has very little understanding of what his powers are and what they can do. That said I put some amount of scientific explanation of what my character can do. I am sorry of the terminology was a little confusing, but I did explain in detail what he is capable of doing. Dark Matter, annihilation, and the other segments in the power description are all real terms used in the field of physics and astronomy which would be the fields his powers draw from. I am not sure where black holes came in as they have nothing to do with Devin's powers, abilities or dark matter.
I can see that my explanation of my characters powers might have been a bit high in the science field, but I am not sure how I should explain the power since my character would only read off what he was told by experts. Should we break character and just give a detailed explanation of the powers maximum ability would be if they were understood and at their peak?
Our concerns were never based upon your terminology as such. We feel that, despite explaining how the power would theoretically work, you didn't actually address what it was capable of 'doing'. The idea of the scientific words being the way Devin understands it doesn't really sit well, as unless Devin has expertise in the field of physics and astronomy he would likely have had to research these terms in order to understand the power. We need it explaining in layman's terms in a way that everyone can understand, so that all players are able to know what your character is capable of.
We would naturally prefer that you write-up your powers in the same format as the rest of the sheet; that is, an in-character application to the institute. However, if you really feel like you cannot do this then we suggest a similar approach to the one taken by Mortalbean; whereby he answered the form in-character and then added extra information for reference purposes in an OOC tab.
World Traveler Word Walker
Member
Seen
19 days ago
Got it. I will keep the segment as is and then add a outlined form of the power below it. Thank you for the quick reply.
Luminous Beings Not Greg.
Member
Seen
1 yr ago
Forget I said anything, writing all this out helped fix my indecision. Sheet is in the works currently!
coGM
We liked the sound of Lynn the most, just to add our opinions.
Luminous Beings Not Greg.
Member
Seen
1 yr ago
Great! Almost finished up on her sheet now
Looks interesting. Think I'll make something for this.
DrugMother The "Vodka" Aunt
Member
Seen
9 yrs ago
Sample post written. I have finished everything! Criticism are much appreciated.
TheWizardLizard
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
PITY - Application for Academic Year 2015/2016
Student Name:
Gender:
Nationality:
Age:
D.O.B.:
Appearance
Hair Color:
Eye Color:
Ethnicity:
Height:
Weight:
Powers & Abilities
Power Name: Pariah
Power Description:
Abilities:
Drawbacks & Weaknesses:
About You
Family:
Personal Statement:
...
Fixed! Tell me what you think!
Student Name:
Greg Jackson
Gender:
Male
Nationality:
United States
Age:
17
D.O.B.:
October 22nd, 1997
Appearance
Hair Color:
Brown
Eye Color:
Blue
Ethnicity:
Caucasian
Height:
170cm
Weight:
50kg
Powers & Abilities
Power Name: Pariah
Power Description:
I constantly emit some sort of field that makes people uncomfortable, making eye contact with me produces spontaneous (really really bad) headaches, and I constantly read the minds of those around me to find out what's hurting them. I can't help any of it.
Abilities:
I can help people with emotional problems. I can also feel physical pain, so I'm okay with first aid and healing type stuff, as long as the person is unconscious, so they don't try to get away from me. The... field I produce gets more powerful with my emotions, so it's not too bad when I stay calm - people can still be around me, if they want, they just get sort of vaguely uncomfortable. I'm also really good at being alone, you know, when I want to be.
Drawbacks & Weaknesses:
Nobody can look me in the eyes without severe pain, nobody ever really wants to be near me, animals hate me, and I always have other people's voices in my head. This is all compounded when I get upset - people start vomiting, screaming, freaking out, collapsing, it's... bad, when that happens. This can put a damper on a social life, as you might imagine.
About You
Family:
Father: Timothy Jackson
Mother: Abigail Jackson
Sister: Sarah Jackson
Mother: Abigail Jackson
Sister: Sarah Jackson
Personal Statement:
I think I'm a pretty normal person. Or, was. I'm from the town of Bellevue, Idaho, which is sort of the middle of nowhere, I guess. I've lived here all my life and I'm not especially well traveled, though I used to think a lot about going to Europe some day, maybe. I tend not to get out too much, I stay in my room a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I like to read, and that's... pretty much it for what I do, I read a lot. I'm a Catholic, and pretty religious, but don't worry, I'm not going to like, try and convert anyone. My family situation is good, but it's been sort of deteriorating since my mutation developed. My parents are... understandably weirded out by the whole thing, but my sister's been pretty understanding, all things considered. I haven't really been to school since it happened, either, the police wouldn't let me. I'm not, like, super smart or anything, but I used to do pretty well in class. I know this sounds sort of stilted, I'm sorry, I'm not great with people. It's been sort of... hard, since I got my powers, but I'm hoping this school can teach me how to control them, let me live a normal life again. Thanks for your time.
Everyone had good days and bad days - Greg was no different in that respect. Of course, most people's bad days involved a bad work experience or a string of rotten luck, not laying in bed with your hands on your heads, listening to every problem anyone within half a mile of you ever had.
Greg was having a very, very bad day.
Black eye, beaten, bloody, hungry, hating, hated, tall things take from small things. The little boy down the street. Some of the other kids had taken his lunch money, and hit him when he tried to stop them.
Left me, left me, skinny bitch, scratched an itch, did I not do enough? The woman in the next house over. Her husband had left her for a younger woman. She thought it was her fault.
Bouncing baby boy, bloodshot, bare-faced, sick in the sink, it's coming closer coming closer it's not my son. Greg already knew that one.
Greg blinked his eyes and tried to focus them, becoming dimly aware that he was sitting in the corner of his room facing the door, wedged between his bed and the wall. His hands were on his temples, squeezing, trying to force the voices out of his head. It wasn't any use. He wanted to tell the woman that it wasn't her fault, tell the boy that he'd been very brave, tell the other one... so many things. But he couldn't, because they were out there, and he was in here, and it had to be that way for them.
There was a knocking at the door. "Greg? Is everything okay?" His sister's voice. Sarah's.
Weaker, bleaker, burning from the inside out. He's crying, dying, it's made of him and growing dim. Someone's father was dying of cancer.
He opened his mouth to respond, but his throat was dry. He heard her pushing the door open and reached frantically for his glasses, but they were on the other side of the room. He threw his hands over his eyes just as was about to enter.
"Don't come in!" he snapped. He could feel the field around him. On good days it was flickering and weak, when he was calm and content, and his sister could enter the room, and talk to him as long as she could ignore the goosebumps and the unease. But today, when he could hear everything in the neighborhood, when he was tear-stained and hurting, the field was as strong as it ever was. It was like a wall, unwavering, and he knew that if she or anyone else stepped foot in it, they would get sick, or panic, or scream.
His eyes were still covered, but he heard her footsteps stop at the door. "Okay, Greg. I won't come in." Silence for a moment. Then, concerned, "Greg, did you do this?"
Greg peeked over his hands for a moment and scanned the room quickly. It was a disaster area. His chair was upended, books and papers were strewn all over the place, the sheets on the bed had been torn half to ribbons. Someone had clearly been punching the wall, and it wasn't hard to guess who judging from the blood on his knuckles.
He didn't respond, just sat with his eyes covered. They were silent, for a moment, and finally his little sister spoke up again. "Look, we're about to have dinner. Do you want me to bring you up something?"
Kissed me, said she'd miss me. Wished me. Gone now, dawn now. Always was. Someone had been skipped out on. He wasn't happy about it.
Greg nodded. "I... yes. Yes, please, that would be good. Thank you."
She turned, and he heard the door closing again. "I'll leave it outside your door," she said, and was gone. Greg was alone again, with the voices.
((Also, Storm.))
Greg was having a very, very bad day.
Black eye, beaten, bloody, hungry, hating, hated, tall things take from small things. The little boy down the street. Some of the other kids had taken his lunch money, and hit him when he tried to stop them.
Left me, left me, skinny bitch, scratched an itch, did I not do enough? The woman in the next house over. Her husband had left her for a younger woman. She thought it was her fault.
Bouncing baby boy, bloodshot, bare-faced, sick in the sink, it's coming closer coming closer it's not my son. Greg already knew that one.
Greg blinked his eyes and tried to focus them, becoming dimly aware that he was sitting in the corner of his room facing the door, wedged between his bed and the wall. His hands were on his temples, squeezing, trying to force the voices out of his head. It wasn't any use. He wanted to tell the woman that it wasn't her fault, tell the boy that he'd been very brave, tell the other one... so many things. But he couldn't, because they were out there, and he was in here, and it had to be that way for them.
There was a knocking at the door. "Greg? Is everything okay?" His sister's voice. Sarah's.
Weaker, bleaker, burning from the inside out. He's crying, dying, it's made of him and growing dim. Someone's father was dying of cancer.
He opened his mouth to respond, but his throat was dry. He heard her pushing the door open and reached frantically for his glasses, but they were on the other side of the room. He threw his hands over his eyes just as was about to enter.
"Don't come in!" he snapped. He could feel the field around him. On good days it was flickering and weak, when he was calm and content, and his sister could enter the room, and talk to him as long as she could ignore the goosebumps and the unease. But today, when he could hear everything in the neighborhood, when he was tear-stained and hurting, the field was as strong as it ever was. It was like a wall, unwavering, and he knew that if she or anyone else stepped foot in it, they would get sick, or panic, or scream.
His eyes were still covered, but he heard her footsteps stop at the door. "Okay, Greg. I won't come in." Silence for a moment. Then, concerned, "Greg, did you do this?"
Greg peeked over his hands for a moment and scanned the room quickly. It was a disaster area. His chair was upended, books and papers were strewn all over the place, the sheets on the bed had been torn half to ribbons. Someone had clearly been punching the wall, and it wasn't hard to guess who judging from the blood on his knuckles.
He didn't respond, just sat with his eyes covered. They were silent, for a moment, and finally his little sister spoke up again. "Look, we're about to have dinner. Do you want me to bring you up something?"
Kissed me, said she'd miss me. Wished me. Gone now, dawn now. Always was. Someone had been skipped out on. He wasn't happy about it.
Greg nodded. "I... yes. Yes, please, that would be good. Thank you."
She turned, and he heard the door closing again. "I'll leave it outside your door," she said, and was gone. Greg was alone again, with the voices.
((Also, Storm.))
...
Fixed! Tell me what you think!
Luminous Beings Not Greg.
Member
Seen
1 yr ago
Cordelia's sheet. May have messed up some of the formatting, I'm terrible with bbcode. The spelling mistakes/grammar errors are intentional, as is the needlessly caustic attitude.
PITY -Court-Mandated Application for Academic Year 2015/2016
Student Name:
Gender:
Nationality:
Age:
D.O.B.:
Appearance
[Please attach a photographic image of yourself for our records]
((I'm not really used to the bbcode on this forum so I'll just attach a link.))
https://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=AwrB8p18FVFVjjgAR.IunIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTIyb2h2dmdrBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZAM2ZTEwN2I0NDliYjdjMDk2YjI4YjQ1NTU2OGZlN2JlZgRncG9zAzEEaXQDYmluZw--?.origin=&back=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fyhs%2Fsearch%3Fp%3Dgirl%2Bflipping%2Bthe%2Bbird%26n%3D60%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyhs-mozilla-001%26fr2%3Dsb-top-images.search.yahoo.com%26hsimp%3Dyhs-001%26hspart%3Dmozilla%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D1&w=640&h=480&imgurl=www.corbisimages.com%2Fimages%2FCorbis-42-16850261.jpg%3Fsize%3D67%26uid%3Df959a58d-e51d-4356-b8b5-bff2edee1909&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.corbisimages.com%2Fstock-photo%2Frights-managed%2F42-16850261%2Fteenage-girl-flipping-the-bird&size=79.3KB&name=Teenage+%3Cb%3EGirl+Flipping+the+Bird%3C%2Fb%3E&p=girls+flipping+the+bird&oid=6e107b449bb7c096b28b455568fe7bef&fr2=sb-top-images.search.yahoo.com&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&rw=girls+flipping+the+bird&tt=Teenage+%3Cb%3EGirl+Flipping+the+Bird%3C%2Fb%3E&b=0&ni=160&no=1&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=1316mc0i7&sigb=15l4vaoeq&sigi=133tikdpc&sigt=115796upo&sign=115796upo&.crumb=5eotzh8N1Uc&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&fr2=sb-top-images.search.yahoo.com&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla
My probation officer said to take a nice respectful picture of myself for your files so here ya go. I really don't care if this application gets accepted or not because it's probably gonna turn out the same either way. School sucks but I hear you guys have a pretty dope cafteria so I guess it's a mixed blessing or whatever that phrase is. Uh description. I'm like 5'2 or something, I don't remember the last time I checked. Shit, when was the last time I was in a doctor's office? People make short jokes about me sometimes but generally if you kick those people in the nuts really hard you wind up standing taller than them so hey funny how that works. I'm like a hundred pounds or so. I think it's supposed to be higher. Fuck it. I've got a couple tattooes. Big-ass phoenix going down my back and left arm. It's pretty badass I'm not gonna lie. Got a sleeve of the four horsemen on my right arm. That's pretty boss. Nothing on my stomach. Should probably get something to cover up the ribs. Uh clothes are normally whatever. I...found...some pretty cool shoes. Got a pair of jeans with holes and stuff in them, but they're comfy as all hell. Big-ass red sweatshirt. It's baggy. People give you less shit when you have baggy clothes on because they think maybe you're packing. Which my probation officer has told me I am also not supposed to do. I got a little chip on one of my teeth from that time I pissed off those Mexicans. Or maybe they were Puerto Ricans. I don't know, I was pre-occupied kicking their asses to find out for sure. Yeah how's that for a school application. can I apply for security or some shit instead of being a student? Okay what else. Uh, hair, normally back in a ponytail. Also the hair and the eyes change color sometime. It's a thing, just roll with it. I got a bunch of scars. Not those sideways "I'm really sad" kind but like the real ones you get from out and doing shit. One on forearm from a barbed wire fence, a few on my legs from whatever. Got one on my knee from trying to jump out of a car. Didn't work out so well. Uh I also got a scar over my nose, going all horizontel. Touches both cheeks. It's pretty badass.
Hair Color:
Eye Color:
Ethnicity:
Height:
Weight:
Powers & Abilities
Power Name:
Power Description:
Abilities:
Drawbacks & Weaknesses:
About You
Family:
Personal Statement:
[INDENT]The hell is a personal statement. Fine. My name is Lynn. I do not like filling out applications. Pretty sure I spelled half this shit wrong. But half right for somebody who dropped out of high school's pretty alright. Reading is stupid and gay anyways, I don't need to be good at it. I am a dear friend of the Chicago Police Department and they really like reminding me I have one year unil I start going to big girl prison. I like reminding them their wives are probably out sleeping with police officers from a city that doesn't suck so much. But now I'll be in New York in your school or whatever so that's cool. School's kinda pointless, but the judge said it was this or juvy and I did juvy before and it was boring as all hell. So I guess I'll stick around your school long enough to get a degree so I can be a happy member of the real world. What? That not enough? Fine. I don't play well with others. Most people are dicks and most people deserve what's coming to them. I don't like cops, rich people, and have been told I have "trouble with authoritity". I'm kind of a loner. Most people get on my nerves. Most people don't have to deal with real shit, so most people aren't worth talking to. Here's my daily routine. I wake up at whatever time I wake up at and then go to the nearest TV and watch the news to see if I recognize any names on there. Usually a few people show up. Then they cut to the royal baby or some shit, which is just wonderful. Then I'll go and find food somewhere. Sometimes I skip this step. Uh, usually I skip this step. Normally try and figure out where I'm stayin' that night early on. Word gets out I'm a mutant, it's a lot harder to find places. I've got too many tattooes to really get a lot of help from shelters, plus I've been in one or two once and a few jackasses came looking. Don't want to get anybody else caught up in all that you know. Then I'll try and earn some cash, I got a few people who are cool with the mutant thing cause I do good work. I got quick hands, all I'll say about that. Then I'll get some food if I can, try and spend the rest of the doing whatever. Every now and then when I'm feeling like a functional member of society I'll go try and get a job. That usually ends up the same way. Dropout mutant with no references and criminal history? Yeah can't imagine why Hobby lobby didn't want me working a register. It's whatever though. I do pretty fine. Try and avoid familiar places. Where I grew up-piece of shit orphanage with piece of shit nuns in charge of it-or school. Couple teachers there were pretty decent. Don't like seeing them. Or kids I used to go to school with. Wasn't a mutant before I dropped out, just...hung with the wrong crowds, went down a slippery slope, all that other shit they throw at you in PSAs. But I'd do it all again you know. People always talk shit about drug dealers or whatever. Not all bad. A few assholes, but I know some good guys. Tough to earn respect being a skinny ass white girl but I made it work. Damn I rambled. So yeah accept me to your school or whatever, I dunno. Im sure your guidance counselor will turn my life around. Assuming your school is not full of rich fucks Ill make friends, do all my work on time (unless its retarded) and be like the coolest person ever. Yeah. Woooooo. I dont know how long that old-ass judge wanted this thing to be. He only said i had to APPLY to get out of goin to juvy. I'm pretty sure. Wait, shit, he might not have. I shoulda taken this more seriously. Uh okay. talents. Im okay at singing. Mostly rap. I write some too. I guess I'd be alright at sports, I got quick eyes and reflexes. Also I'm pretty good at picking up on whenever people are lying because Ive spent a lot of time around teachers and cops. I keep my word and stuff. Also I'm not bad at like fighting and stuff. No, shit, I can't say that to a school. Uh. Um. I'm very determined...and keep on going no matter what life throws at me. Yeah. That sounds right. I'm also poor as hell and bisexual so yeah wooohooo I'll make your demograph dimograp fuck whatever that word is-numbers look really good if you take me
((This is a fair deal longer than 2-3 paragraphs-I apologize for that, but since Lynn's template is in-character, and Lynn's character is pretty damned prideful, I wanted to try and touch on some other stuff with this. My bad! I can shorten it if necessary, or answer any other questions.))
PITY -Court-Mandated Application for Academic Year 2015/2016
Student Name:
Cordelia Lynn Holmes. Lynn.
Gender:
Female.
Nationality:
Nationality? Uh, white?
Age:
17
D.O.B.:
Dunno exactly. December 31st. 199..whenever makes me seventeen.
Appearance
[Please attach a photographic image of yourself for our records]
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My probation officer said to take a nice respectful picture of myself for your files so here ya go. I really don't care if this application gets accepted or not because it's probably gonna turn out the same either way. School sucks but I hear you guys have a pretty dope cafteria so I guess it's a mixed blessing or whatever that phrase is. Uh description. I'm like 5'2 or something, I don't remember the last time I checked. Shit, when was the last time I was in a doctor's office? People make short jokes about me sometimes but generally if you kick those people in the nuts really hard you wind up standing taller than them so hey funny how that works. I'm like a hundred pounds or so. I think it's supposed to be higher. Fuck it. I've got a couple tattooes. Big-ass phoenix going down my back and left arm. It's pretty badass I'm not gonna lie. Got a sleeve of the four horsemen on my right arm. That's pretty boss. Nothing on my stomach. Should probably get something to cover up the ribs. Uh clothes are normally whatever. I...found...some pretty cool shoes. Got a pair of jeans with holes and stuff in them, but they're comfy as all hell. Big-ass red sweatshirt. It's baggy. People give you less shit when you have baggy clothes on because they think maybe you're packing. Which my probation officer has told me I am also not supposed to do. I got a little chip on one of my teeth from that time I pissed off those Mexicans. Or maybe they were Puerto Ricans. I don't know, I was pre-occupied kicking their asses to find out for sure. Yeah how's that for a school application. can I apply for security or some shit instead of being a student? Okay what else. Uh, hair, normally back in a ponytail. Also the hair and the eyes change color sometime. It's a thing, just roll with it. I got a bunch of scars. Not those sideways "I'm really sad" kind but like the real ones you get from out and doing shit. One on forearm from a barbed wire fence, a few on my legs from whatever. Got one on my knee from trying to jump out of a car. Didn't work out so well. Uh I also got a scar over my nose, going all horizontel. Touches both cheeks. It's pretty badass.
Hair Color:
Brown.
Eye Color:
Blue. Are we done with these dumbass questions yet?
Ethnicity:
White? What's the difference between this and nationality?
Height:
5'3. 5'2. Somewhere in there.
Weight:
100. Maybe a little less?
Powers & Abilities
Power Name:
Oh, they're supposed to have names? Um, shit. Uh, the flame...no that's dumb. Gimme a minute.
Power Description:
I'm a phoenix, or whatever.
Abilities:
Are there a lot more sections? Because I'm already tired of this. Fine. The highlights. Basically I'm like a phoenix or something. Got the tats to match it. Whenever I get all fired up (hah that wasnt even intentional) I start to smolder up a bit. Hair lights up and stuff. Makes me tougher. I get angry enough or scare-uh, serious enough, goes all out. Ignite more, helps amp me up. I think I heal quicker from stuff but I don't really know. Not like that movie with the guy with the claws. Wounds and stuff usually calterize I guess. My hair and my eyes change color sometimes. Red, white, blue, yellow, fire stuff. So that's pretty dope. Oh and stuff around me is...hotter? Nah that's not right. Like shit warms up more easily. Water boils faster. Shot a gun one time, barrel was warped as all hell. Guess the heat and cold don't bother me a whole lot either. But that could be a side effect of my other power, not being a little bitch.
Drawbacks & Weaknesses:
Well normally my clothes aren't non-flamamable. So that sucks. I burn out too. Dunno how to describe it. I get hit too hard or go too long and I just...skin starts peeling off like ash. Fire sputters and goes out. Hair falls out, my vision gets all weird. Cold. Really cold. Like beyond temperature cold, you know, like something...I dunno. Start thinking about dark shit. It's not fun. So on general principle I avoid getting my ass kicked. Happens if I get hurt real bad too, the...burnout. When I'm trying to warm back up (takes a while) it's not...I dunno what happens if something happens then. I guess I burnout for real, you know? Never played with it much to find out. And I go through cigarettes real fast. It sucks. I can't like control it either, I'm not like those guys from that cartoon with the bald kid. Whenever we get fucked up we watch that sometimes. Also, whenever I let the fire-stuff start happening, I get, like, super hungry afterwards. And I'm usually pretty hungry. So that's saying something.
About You
Family:
None. Really appreciate the reminder, though, thanks.
Personal Statement:
[INDENT]The hell is a personal statement. Fine. My name is Lynn. I do not like filling out applications. Pretty sure I spelled half this shit wrong. But half right for somebody who dropped out of high school's pretty alright. Reading is stupid and gay anyways, I don't need to be good at it. I am a dear friend of the Chicago Police Department and they really like reminding me I have one year unil I start going to big girl prison. I like reminding them their wives are probably out sleeping with police officers from a city that doesn't suck so much. But now I'll be in New York in your school or whatever so that's cool. School's kinda pointless, but the judge said it was this or juvy and I did juvy before and it was boring as all hell. So I guess I'll stick around your school long enough to get a degree so I can be a happy member of the real world. What? That not enough? Fine. I don't play well with others. Most people are dicks and most people deserve what's coming to them. I don't like cops, rich people, and have been told I have "trouble with authoritity". I'm kind of a loner. Most people get on my nerves. Most people don't have to deal with real shit, so most people aren't worth talking to. Here's my daily routine. I wake up at whatever time I wake up at and then go to the nearest TV and watch the news to see if I recognize any names on there. Usually a few people show up. Then they cut to the royal baby or some shit, which is just wonderful. Then I'll go and find food somewhere. Sometimes I skip this step. Uh, usually I skip this step. Normally try and figure out where I'm stayin' that night early on. Word gets out I'm a mutant, it's a lot harder to find places. I've got too many tattooes to really get a lot of help from shelters, plus I've been in one or two once and a few jackasses came looking. Don't want to get anybody else caught up in all that you know. Then I'll try and earn some cash, I got a few people who are cool with the mutant thing cause I do good work. I got quick hands, all I'll say about that. Then I'll get some food if I can, try and spend the rest of the doing whatever. Every now and then when I'm feeling like a functional member of society I'll go try and get a job. That usually ends up the same way. Dropout mutant with no references and criminal history? Yeah can't imagine why Hobby lobby didn't want me working a register. It's whatever though. I do pretty fine. Try and avoid familiar places. Where I grew up-piece of shit orphanage with piece of shit nuns in charge of it-or school. Couple teachers there were pretty decent. Don't like seeing them. Or kids I used to go to school with. Wasn't a mutant before I dropped out, just...hung with the wrong crowds, went down a slippery slope, all that other shit they throw at you in PSAs. But I'd do it all again you know. People always talk shit about drug dealers or whatever. Not all bad. A few assholes, but I know some good guys. Tough to earn respect being a skinny ass white girl but I made it work. Damn I rambled. So yeah accept me to your school or whatever, I dunno. Im sure your guidance counselor will turn my life around. Assuming your school is not full of rich fucks Ill make friends, do all my work on time (unless its retarded) and be like the coolest person ever. Yeah. Woooooo. I dont know how long that old-ass judge wanted this thing to be. He only said i had to APPLY to get out of goin to juvy. I'm pretty sure. Wait, shit, he might not have. I shoulda taken this more seriously. Uh okay. talents. Im okay at singing. Mostly rap. I write some too. I guess I'd be alright at sports, I got quick eyes and reflexes. Also I'm pretty good at picking up on whenever people are lying because Ive spent a lot of time around teachers and cops. I keep my word and stuff. Also I'm not bad at like fighting and stuff. No, shit, I can't say that to a school. Uh. Um. I'm very determined...and keep on going no matter what life throws at me. Yeah. That sounds right. I'm also poor as hell and bisexual so yeah wooohooo I'll make your demograph dimograp fuck whatever that word is-numbers look really good if you take me
((This is a fair deal longer than 2-3 paragraphs-I apologize for that, but since Lynn's template is in-character, and Lynn's character is pretty damned prideful, I wanted to try and touch on some other stuff with this. My bad! I can shorten it if necessary, or answer any other questions.))
Cordelia was a pretty recognizable figure-not that she was famous, but she generally stuck to the same ensemble. A backpack held together by electrical tape, blue jeans held together by duct tape, and a face that appeared to be held together by a permanent scowl. A crier on the street turned to offer her an advertisement and not-so-subtly withdrew. He may have a suspicion that Lynn was not entirely interested in Chicago's opera house.
If you were to watch Lynn as she walked-well, you'd have to do so from a distance, and very subtly, or else you would have a hundred pounds of fury with nothing better to do coming to ask you a few questions. I digress. You'd notice she walked quickly, the seasoned walk of a city native. Her eyes flickered back and forth as she darted in and out of slower people on the sidewalk, just keeping a good sense for where she was. Lynn didn't really stick to the nicer parts of town-a pinch of paranoia carried you a pretty long way. Occasionally she'd shudder, miss a step. Clutch her chest or rub at her stomach. A wide and weary yawn. Her neck twisted to unhealthy angles as she walked past food vendors. Occasionally she'd pass the sorts who linger outside the tourist traps, panhandling or sleazing. Lynn's reaction was varied-to a few, she'd roll her eyes, call them by name, give them a jovial "Fuck off!". A few she ignored, keeping her eyes straight ahed and moving on through. A handful brought a quieter reaction-Lynn would let her eyes roll over them and grimace a bit before she recovered. That wasn't her. She wouldn't be that. No. Of course not. She was different.
Stop to smoke. Supposedly, those things were pretty bad for you. Lynn figured even if she did live long enough for that to matter, the fact her body spontaneously burst into flame kinda offset any health risks. She was gonna be breathing in smoke (or breathing it out) one way or another. Might as well get a little chemical tranquility in the process. She leaned back against a corner, backpack cushioning her frame (underneath that sweatshirt, Miss Holmes, just how skinny how are you?) as she took long draws. Her eyes stared off across the street, not really focusing on anything. Occasionally a noise would break her reverie, making her flinch and jump up, right hand falling to her back pocket, her other clenching around the lit cigarette (which would flare up with hunger). These little smoke breaks never lasted long-she burned through the whole cigarette in maybe two, three minutes. She was pretty environmentally conscious-there was never any butt to leave lying on the ground.
The hours would pass. These got spent in a myriad of ways-Lynn had a few usual haunts, and was somewhat in-between posses. There was a sizable number of mutants in Chicago's underground, and it...complicated things. Gang wars had a tendency for escalation whenever the superhuman were around. Between arrests or deaths, Chicago's gangs were a revolving door since mutants went public. Lynn watched the morning news every day. Read the numbers and tried to see if she recognized the faces. Not much else she could do. She did little jobs-pickpocketed a bit, occasionally did some running across town. Guns or drugs. These were riskier, and she didn't get too many offers. Fine by her.
Around once a week there'd be a run-in with the law-Lynn, for her trash talk and put-on bravado, was pretty Machiavellan about what she did. The girl stayed clear of anything violent, and the serious stuff was few and far between. A mutant girl was enough of a target-one without the money for legal fees or any real allies? Lynn played it pretty smart. Relatively speaking-the girl was still not in the best of situations, and whenever she put her head down at night (wherever it wound up being) she'd get that low feeling in her gut. Tick. Tock. Not many people ran in her circles past the age of twenty five. Sooner or later she'd get her ticket.
Lynn walked slowly, one arm clinging to the pack slung over her shoulder and the other hanging at her waist, fingers dancing about. Immediately, she got that electric-wire fear of stepping between a mother bear and her cub. The alleyway was pretty narrow, and a casual glance over her shoulder confirmed Lynn's suspicions. Blocked in. Shit. Ahead there were two of them-Lynn didn't recognize them. Didn't see any noticeable marks, no lightning bolts from the brotherhood, not any colors she picked up on. Might've just been loners like her. Lynn kept walking steadily, but began to prepare herself. In most fights, Lynn was generally outgunned. She fought holding nothing back out of necessity-a hundred pounds and a few hairs over five foot? Not exactly the top contender in street fights.
"You lost?" one of them asked, sizing her up as she had done to them. Within about three seconds, both parties had full situational awareness of the other. Lynn was walking alone and, judging from her dress, not going to be going to the cops about this. These thugs were not tough enough or smart enough to roll with any real group so they were hanging here, in the middle of nowhere.
Lynn sighed, more resigned than really frightened. The girl may not have been able to make above a C, but she was far from foolish. She stayed cold and collected in situations like these-it would be later, when she was lying in bed? That's when the panic sets in. "Fuck off."
There was a brief pause-the thugs weren't really used to that kind of brevity.
"You know who you're talkin-"
"I don't give a shit who I'm talking to," Lynn said with a genuinely bored tone of voice. "You're either gonna try and jump me or let me by. Let's just get this over with, one way or ano-"
Lynn had a code of honor-it was warped, perhaps, but it was there. She stuck to her word, tried to avoid messing with anybody who was, you know, actually a good person. Her cynicism made the threshold for "good person" pretty damned high, but she wasn't evil. Just lost. Regardless, she didn't really like to take chances, especially when she was outnumbered three-to-one. So, halfway through her sentence, as she continued walking forward, Lynn drove her knee into the groin of the first unlucky, would-be mugger. He yelped, pained and surprised, and staggered back. His partner was caught off guard but had begun to recover, reaching for something. Lynn didn't really want to find out what-not hesitating, she shifted her weight and threw all she had at the second guy, forcing him to stagger to the side a step or two and delaying whatever nasty trick he had up his sleeve for a moment or two more.
The third one-from behind-kicked the back of Lynn's bag and knocked her to the ground pretty easily. She caught it in a roll and bounced up, making up for muscle mass with quickness and coldness. Lynn didn't half-ass her punches, and unlike a surprising amount of the people she'd been forced to fight, she fought to win. She didn't care if she played dirty. Lynn grunted and felt her sweatshirt becoming uncomfortably warm-sweat started to course down her arms and torso, and as she breathed out (through closed teeth-if you open them, it's a lot easier to get knocked out, and Lynn preferred to not be unconscious in Chicago's streets at night) a wisp of smoke darted between her not-so-pearly whites.
Her hair and eyes began to shift in color-ever so slightly, and Lynn darted forward, letting the bag fall from her shoulder. It landed behind her, provoking another startled grunt-one of the other two had tripped on it. Lynn didn't want to try and focus on any one of the three and wind up getting suckerpunched from behind as a result.
Unfortunately, the other one had recovered faster than she thought, and she wound up getting suckerpunched from behind as a result. For the second time in about ten seconds, Lynn fell to the concrete, starting to bounce up before another kick knocked her back down.
"'Fuck off'? You know, manners go a long way wit-" Lynn didn't really care to hear the rest of his speech, especially with his dirty-ass shoe pressing down on her neck. Her right hand snaked up-(the sweatshirt's sleeve, too bag, fell back and her tattooes bared to the night air) and her fingers laced around his ankle as she pushed up as hard as she could. It wasn't going to budge his leg-not with brute force. The stench of burning denim followed shortly by burning flesh, however, did make the man fall back. Lynn's form glowed softly, her hair beginning to well and truly ignite-the ponytail burst free from its bands and fell to her shoulders as Lynn scrambled back up, pressing her back to the wall and crouching, offering as little vulnerable space to them as she could afford. Her eyes began to smolder, matching her hair as they climbed to a furious red.
The other three, who, in all fairness, had probably not been able to anticipate this as an outcome to their evening, stared in varying degrees of shock.
"Whenever," Lynn panted, "I force-feed you your own dicks, do you want them cooked medium, or well-done?"
There was a moment of silence in which the thugs considered a great many things. The rising air temperature around the scrawny girl, a long series of unfortunate life choices that had led them to this point, and the rather nauseating proposition Lynn offered.
About twenty seconds later, Lynn picked up her bag and began walking out of the alleyway, cursing her stupidity for walking down it to begin with. Her body shook with adrenaline. Christ, they hit hard. Lynn rolled her neck around a bit and massaged the spot where she'd hit the concrete that second time. Her shaking fingers fumbled with her backpack's outer pocket for-oh, those bastards. They'd taken her cigarettes. "Well, this is shaping up to be a pretty good night," Lynn muttered, taking out her fury on a nearby trashcan. It smashed against the wall and fell with considerable noise. Shit. Also probably not a good idea. She emerged from the alley, hair tussled, skin slimy with sweat, and the faint odor of singed clothing lingering about her, and walked straight into her parole officer.
"Aw, damnit. That trashcan was like that when I got here."
He stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, glancing at her clothes, and then back at her eyes. He could've sworn they were a different color last time he saw her. "Looking for you. Skipped out on your hearing this morning."
"Wait, shit, what day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"Tuesday? It's Monday!"
"No, it's Tuesday."
Lynn frowned, making the scar on her face stretch down to mirror her lips. Tuesday. Shit. That...would probably not look good in court. "Uh, I'm, like, 1/8th Cherokee, and, uh, it was a holy day..."
"Not in the mood.Get in the car. Assuming I can talk you out of skipping your meeting, they've been throwing around something else instead of juvy."
Lynn was helped into the back of the car, something that was not at all unfamiliar. She took the opportunity to lay down across the back of the seats. Her parole officer hadn't handcuffed her-while she would never show otherwise publicly, she did hold a degree of respect for the guy. He was a cop, which made him by default a douchebag, but he was always pretty decent to her. Lynn figured it wasn't cool to be a dick to people that helped you out where they could. "Something else? What, like, picking up trash or..."
"Nah. School."
"Oh, Christ, just kill me now." She paused. There was a moment of silent understanding between the two-her pride would never let her say thanks, but...going back to juvy would not be ideal. He picked up on it, and didn't need to press. "...well, I guess I'll, uh, check that out." she closed her eyes before the post-adrenal hunger kicked in. "Is there gonna be a lot of paperwork or whatever? Because last time you made me do that, it really sucked. Like, a lot."
If you were to watch Lynn as she walked-well, you'd have to do so from a distance, and very subtly, or else you would have a hundred pounds of fury with nothing better to do coming to ask you a few questions. I digress. You'd notice she walked quickly, the seasoned walk of a city native. Her eyes flickered back and forth as she darted in and out of slower people on the sidewalk, just keeping a good sense for where she was. Lynn didn't really stick to the nicer parts of town-a pinch of paranoia carried you a pretty long way. Occasionally she'd shudder, miss a step. Clutch her chest or rub at her stomach. A wide and weary yawn. Her neck twisted to unhealthy angles as she walked past food vendors. Occasionally she'd pass the sorts who linger outside the tourist traps, panhandling or sleazing. Lynn's reaction was varied-to a few, she'd roll her eyes, call them by name, give them a jovial "Fuck off!". A few she ignored, keeping her eyes straight ahed and moving on through. A handful brought a quieter reaction-Lynn would let her eyes roll over them and grimace a bit before she recovered. That wasn't her. She wouldn't be that. No. Of course not. She was different.
Stop to smoke. Supposedly, those things were pretty bad for you. Lynn figured even if she did live long enough for that to matter, the fact her body spontaneously burst into flame kinda offset any health risks. She was gonna be breathing in smoke (or breathing it out) one way or another. Might as well get a little chemical tranquility in the process. She leaned back against a corner, backpack cushioning her frame (underneath that sweatshirt, Miss Holmes, just how skinny how are you?) as she took long draws. Her eyes stared off across the street, not really focusing on anything. Occasionally a noise would break her reverie, making her flinch and jump up, right hand falling to her back pocket, her other clenching around the lit cigarette (which would flare up with hunger). These little smoke breaks never lasted long-she burned through the whole cigarette in maybe two, three minutes. She was pretty environmentally conscious-there was never any butt to leave lying on the ground.
The hours would pass. These got spent in a myriad of ways-Lynn had a few usual haunts, and was somewhat in-between posses. There was a sizable number of mutants in Chicago's underground, and it...complicated things. Gang wars had a tendency for escalation whenever the superhuman were around. Between arrests or deaths, Chicago's gangs were a revolving door since mutants went public. Lynn watched the morning news every day. Read the numbers and tried to see if she recognized the faces. Not much else she could do. She did little jobs-pickpocketed a bit, occasionally did some running across town. Guns or drugs. These were riskier, and she didn't get too many offers. Fine by her.
Around once a week there'd be a run-in with the law-Lynn, for her trash talk and put-on bravado, was pretty Machiavellan about what she did. The girl stayed clear of anything violent, and the serious stuff was few and far between. A mutant girl was enough of a target-one without the money for legal fees or any real allies? Lynn played it pretty smart. Relatively speaking-the girl was still not in the best of situations, and whenever she put her head down at night (wherever it wound up being) she'd get that low feeling in her gut. Tick. Tock. Not many people ran in her circles past the age of twenty five. Sooner or later she'd get her ticket.
Lynn walked slowly, one arm clinging to the pack slung over her shoulder and the other hanging at her waist, fingers dancing about. Immediately, she got that electric-wire fear of stepping between a mother bear and her cub. The alleyway was pretty narrow, and a casual glance over her shoulder confirmed Lynn's suspicions. Blocked in. Shit. Ahead there were two of them-Lynn didn't recognize them. Didn't see any noticeable marks, no lightning bolts from the brotherhood, not any colors she picked up on. Might've just been loners like her. Lynn kept walking steadily, but began to prepare herself. In most fights, Lynn was generally outgunned. She fought holding nothing back out of necessity-a hundred pounds and a few hairs over five foot? Not exactly the top contender in street fights.
"You lost?" one of them asked, sizing her up as she had done to them. Within about three seconds, both parties had full situational awareness of the other. Lynn was walking alone and, judging from her dress, not going to be going to the cops about this. These thugs were not tough enough or smart enough to roll with any real group so they were hanging here, in the middle of nowhere.
Lynn sighed, more resigned than really frightened. The girl may not have been able to make above a C, but she was far from foolish. She stayed cold and collected in situations like these-it would be later, when she was lying in bed? That's when the panic sets in. "Fuck off."
There was a brief pause-the thugs weren't really used to that kind of brevity.
"You know who you're talkin-"
"I don't give a shit who I'm talking to," Lynn said with a genuinely bored tone of voice. "You're either gonna try and jump me or let me by. Let's just get this over with, one way or ano-"
Lynn had a code of honor-it was warped, perhaps, but it was there. She stuck to her word, tried to avoid messing with anybody who was, you know, actually a good person. Her cynicism made the threshold for "good person" pretty damned high, but she wasn't evil. Just lost. Regardless, she didn't really like to take chances, especially when she was outnumbered three-to-one. So, halfway through her sentence, as she continued walking forward, Lynn drove her knee into the groin of the first unlucky, would-be mugger. He yelped, pained and surprised, and staggered back. His partner was caught off guard but had begun to recover, reaching for something. Lynn didn't really want to find out what-not hesitating, she shifted her weight and threw all she had at the second guy, forcing him to stagger to the side a step or two and delaying whatever nasty trick he had up his sleeve for a moment or two more.
The third one-from behind-kicked the back of Lynn's bag and knocked her to the ground pretty easily. She caught it in a roll and bounced up, making up for muscle mass with quickness and coldness. Lynn didn't half-ass her punches, and unlike a surprising amount of the people she'd been forced to fight, she fought to win. She didn't care if she played dirty. Lynn grunted and felt her sweatshirt becoming uncomfortably warm-sweat started to course down her arms and torso, and as she breathed out (through closed teeth-if you open them, it's a lot easier to get knocked out, and Lynn preferred to not be unconscious in Chicago's streets at night) a wisp of smoke darted between her not-so-pearly whites.
Her hair and eyes began to shift in color-ever so slightly, and Lynn darted forward, letting the bag fall from her shoulder. It landed behind her, provoking another startled grunt-one of the other two had tripped on it. Lynn didn't want to try and focus on any one of the three and wind up getting suckerpunched from behind as a result.
Unfortunately, the other one had recovered faster than she thought, and she wound up getting suckerpunched from behind as a result. For the second time in about ten seconds, Lynn fell to the concrete, starting to bounce up before another kick knocked her back down.
"'Fuck off'? You know, manners go a long way wit-" Lynn didn't really care to hear the rest of his speech, especially with his dirty-ass shoe pressing down on her neck. Her right hand snaked up-(the sweatshirt's sleeve, too bag, fell back and her tattooes bared to the night air) and her fingers laced around his ankle as she pushed up as hard as she could. It wasn't going to budge his leg-not with brute force. The stench of burning denim followed shortly by burning flesh, however, did make the man fall back. Lynn's form glowed softly, her hair beginning to well and truly ignite-the ponytail burst free from its bands and fell to her shoulders as Lynn scrambled back up, pressing her back to the wall and crouching, offering as little vulnerable space to them as she could afford. Her eyes began to smolder, matching her hair as they climbed to a furious red.
The other three, who, in all fairness, had probably not been able to anticipate this as an outcome to their evening, stared in varying degrees of shock.
"Whenever," Lynn panted, "I force-feed you your own dicks, do you want them cooked medium, or well-done?"
There was a moment of silence in which the thugs considered a great many things. The rising air temperature around the scrawny girl, a long series of unfortunate life choices that had led them to this point, and the rather nauseating proposition Lynn offered.
About twenty seconds later, Lynn picked up her bag and began walking out of the alleyway, cursing her stupidity for walking down it to begin with. Her body shook with adrenaline. Christ, they hit hard. Lynn rolled her neck around a bit and massaged the spot where she'd hit the concrete that second time. Her shaking fingers fumbled with her backpack's outer pocket for-oh, those bastards. They'd taken her cigarettes. "Well, this is shaping up to be a pretty good night," Lynn muttered, taking out her fury on a nearby trashcan. It smashed against the wall and fell with considerable noise. Shit. Also probably not a good idea. She emerged from the alley, hair tussled, skin slimy with sweat, and the faint odor of singed clothing lingering about her, and walked straight into her parole officer.
"Aw, damnit. That trashcan was like that when I got here."
He stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, glancing at her clothes, and then back at her eyes. He could've sworn they were a different color last time he saw her. "Looking for you. Skipped out on your hearing this morning."
"Wait, shit, what day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"Tuesday? It's Monday!"
"No, it's Tuesday."
Lynn frowned, making the scar on her face stretch down to mirror her lips. Tuesday. Shit. That...would probably not look good in court. "Uh, I'm, like, 1/8th Cherokee, and, uh, it was a holy day..."
"Not in the mood.Get in the car. Assuming I can talk you out of skipping your meeting, they've been throwing around something else instead of juvy."
Lynn was helped into the back of the car, something that was not at all unfamiliar. She took the opportunity to lay down across the back of the seats. Her parole officer hadn't handcuffed her-while she would never show otherwise publicly, she did hold a degree of respect for the guy. He was a cop, which made him by default a douchebag, but he was always pretty decent to her. Lynn figured it wasn't cool to be a dick to people that helped you out where they could. "Something else? What, like, picking up trash or..."
"Nah. School."
"Oh, Christ, just kill me now." She paused. There was a moment of silent understanding between the two-her pride would never let her say thanks, but...going back to juvy would not be ideal. He picked up on it, and didn't need to press. "...well, I guess I'll, uh, check that out." she closed her eyes before the post-adrenal hunger kicked in. "Is there gonna be a lot of paperwork or whatever? Because last time you made me do that, it really sucked. Like, a lot."
DrugMother The "Vodka" Aunt
Member
Seen
9 yrs ago
Cordelia's sheet. May have messed up some of the formatting, I'm terrible with bbcode. The spelling mistakes/grammar errors are intentional, as is the needlessly caustic attitude.
PITY -Court-Mandated Application for Academic Year 2015/2016
Student Name:Cordelia Lynn Holmes. Lynn.
Gender:Female.
Nationality:Nationality? Uh, white?
Age:17
D.O.B.:Dunno exactly. December 31st. 199..whenever makes me seventeen.
Appearance
[Please attach a photographic image of yourself for our records]
My probation officer said to take a nice respectful picture of myself for your files so here ya go. I really don't care if this application gets accepted or not because it's probably gonna turn out the same either way. School sucks but I hear you guys have a pretty dope cafteria so I guess it's a mixed blessing or whatever that phrase is. Uh description. I'm like 5'2 or something, I don't remember the last time I checked. Shit, when was the last time I was in a doctor's office? People make short jokes about me sometimes but generally if you kick those people in the nuts really hard you wind up standing taller than them so hey funny how that works. I'm like a hundred pounds or so. I think it's supposed to be higher. Fuck it. I've got a couple tattooes. Big-ass phoenix going down my back and left arm. It's pretty badass I'm not gonna lie. Got a sleeve of the four horsemen on my right arm. That's pretty boss. Nothing on my stomach. Should probably get something to cover up the ribs. Uh clothes are normally whatever. I...found...some pretty cool shoes. Got a pair of jeans with holes and stuff in them, but they're comfy as all hell. Big-ass red sweatshirt. It's baggy. People give you less shit when you have baggy clothes on because they think maybe you're packing. Which my probation officer has told me I am also not supposed to do. I got a little chip on one of my teeth from that time I pissed off those Mexicans. Or maybe they were Puerto Ricans. I don't know, I was pre-occupied kicking their asses to find out for sure. Yeah how's that for a school application. can I apply for security or some shit instead of being a student? Okay what else. Uh, hair, normally back in a ponytail. Also the hair and the eyes change color sometime. It's a thing, just roll with it. I got a bunch of scars. Not those sideways "I'm really sad" kind but like the real ones you get from out and doing shit. One on forearm from a barbed wire fence, a few on my legs from whatever. Got one on my knee from trying to jump out of a car. Didn't work out so well. Uh I also got a scar over my nose, going all horizontel. Touches both cheeks. It's pretty badass.
Hair Color:Brown.
Eye Color:Blue. Are we done with these dumbass questions yet?
Ethnicity:White? What's the difference between this and nationality?
Height:5'3. 5'2. Somewhere in there.
Weight:100. Maybe a little less?
I helped you out with the image, and the basic details are suppose to be filled out like government form. Someone with a parol officer should defs know how to do that, ahah. Tyler@ mentioned this on the first page.
Just trying to help you out!
I am not a gm but idk
I hope Tyler and Shard do not mind me doing this!
GM
Tyler Me. I Am Tyler... / The Elusive Auteur
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@DrugMother and @TheWizardLizard
Fantastic character sheets! You both wrote your sample posts very impressively, too. It just makes me want to read more and more, so I can't wait to see you posting in the IC once it's up and running.
Unfortunately, I'm not able to accept either sheet in their current form and will suggest that you both re-read the rules in the OP.
@He Who Walks Behind
I like the way Lynn is beginning to shape up! It is policy between Shard and I that we always discuss applications before giving feedback, so I will have to wait until tomorrow to talk with him about your application. However, DrugMother has helpfully pointed out something that I would encourage you to edit in time for us to review tomorrow: Whilst you are writing "in character", you must also take into consideration that you are applying for a place at a prestigious institute.
It's a difficult one for me, because I appreciate the effort you have gone to in order to represent your character; but I also have to ask on what grounds would PITY accept her, based on that form? As Lynn is a particularly troubled case, Shard and I might come to an exception for her and allow you to keep this... "rough around the edges style", if you can come up with a valid reason why PITY would accept her based on the form she submitted.
One thing that definitely has to change regardless is the powers section. There is so much 'personality' there that I find it difficult to identify what she is actually capable of; Don't be disheartened, a lot of people have had this issue. If you struggle to explain her powers in detail from her perspective, feel free to add an additional "OOC reference" to this section, explaining what she is capable of. Please put this within hider tags, as I don't want it to detract from the IC nature of the forms.
It would also be nice if you could 'clean up' the formatting a bit; DrugMother has helped you out there! Thanks for the application, Shard and I will send you some feedback tomorrow.
Fantastic character sheets! You both wrote your sample posts very impressively, too. It just makes me want to read more and more, so I can't wait to see you posting in the IC once it's up and running.
Unfortunately, I'm not able to accept either sheet in their current form and will suggest that you both re-read the rules in the OP.
@He Who Walks Behind
I like the way Lynn is beginning to shape up! It is policy between Shard and I that we always discuss applications before giving feedback, so I will have to wait until tomorrow to talk with him about your application. However, DrugMother has helpfully pointed out something that I would encourage you to edit in time for us to review tomorrow: Whilst you are writing "in character", you must also take into consideration that you are applying for a place at a prestigious institute.
It's a difficult one for me, because I appreciate the effort you have gone to in order to represent your character; but I also have to ask on what grounds would PITY accept her, based on that form? As Lynn is a particularly troubled case, Shard and I might come to an exception for her and allow you to keep this... "rough around the edges style", if you can come up with a valid reason why PITY would accept her based on the form she submitted.
One thing that definitely has to change regardless is the powers section. There is so much 'personality' there that I find it difficult to identify what she is actually capable of; Don't be disheartened, a lot of people have had this issue. If you struggle to explain her powers in detail from her perspective, feel free to add an additional "OOC reference" to this section, explaining what she is capable of. Please put this within hider tags, as I don't want it to detract from the IC nature of the forms.
It would also be nice if you could 'clean up' the formatting a bit; DrugMother has helped you out there! Thanks for the application, Shard and I will send you some feedback tomorrow.
DrugMother The "Vodka" Aunt
Member
Seen
9 yrs ago
@DrugMother and @TheWizardLizard
Fantastic character sheets! You both wrote your sample posts very impressively, too. It just makes me want to read more and more, so I can't wait to see you posting in the IC once it's up and running.
Unfortunately, I'm not able to accept either sheet in their current form and will suggest that you both re-read the rules in the OP.
Ahhh I forgot to place in the weather. wink wink
I added that! oufff
Luminous Beings Not Greg.
Member
Seen
1 yr ago
Hey, really appreciate it, both of you-I'm TERRIBLE with the formatting so thanks for cleaning that up. I will work on the stuff you mentioned and get a polished up version in here again later tonight, most likely? I see what you mean about the too much personality. I'll work on fixing that up some.
I'm gonna mull over the "Why should PITY accept her" issue for a bit-don't want it to be strained, and given that she is a legitimately good person (albeit misguided at times), there's something that's not contrived in there. I'll have it for the next submission. I'm thinking maybe a note attached by a psychologist or her parole officer? Someone who would've looked through her files would've noticed that doing a few months in juvy probably just set her on a darker path than before, and given the circumstances, could reasonably predict that doing a longer stint in juvy would possibly push her over that line. Trying to figure out how, exactly, Lynn would want to fill out the form is intriguing-the part of her that does want to start over again would do it legitimately, but it's never that simple, ya know? I'm gonna mull this over like I said and should have a fixed up one for you later tonight. Thanks again, both of you!
I'm gonna mull over the "Why should PITY accept her" issue for a bit-don't want it to be strained, and given that she is a legitimately good person (albeit misguided at times), there's something that's not contrived in there. I'll have it for the next submission. I'm thinking maybe a note attached by a psychologist or her parole officer? Someone who would've looked through her files would've noticed that doing a few months in juvy probably just set her on a darker path than before, and given the circumstances, could reasonably predict that doing a longer stint in juvy would possibly push her over that line. Trying to figure out how, exactly, Lynn would want to fill out the form is intriguing-the part of her that does want to start over again would do it legitimately, but it's never that simple, ya know? I'm gonna mull this over like I said and should have a fixed up one for you later tonight. Thanks again, both of you!
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