Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Torack
Raw
Avatar of Torack

Torack The Golden Apple

Member Seen 6 days ago

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

@Torack: There are a few problems with your character sheet that should be fixed.

1. Union Station is the Federal capital, and one of the nicest and most advanced space stations in Tech territory. The Federation may be too corrupt or underpowered or whatever to improve living conditions in all of the other stations, it wants to at least makes its own capital and other major cities look good. So I don't think it's very likely for Union Station to have slums where murder and crime are the norm. It'd make more sense if Luther grew up in some other space station, one where the rich and poor are more sharply divided. You should make up one such station yourself. For the same reason, George Carleon and his criminal organization should be moved to the other space station.

2. It's highly unlikely for Luther to have become one of the best hitmen in the criminal underworld if he had no superhuman abilities whatsoever back then. Even if he was trained to fight ever since he could walk (which he wasn't), fighting skill alone would quickly hit its limit against powerful cybernetics, mutations, and psionics. As cutthroat as the underworld is, all of the top-tier assassins are invariably superhumans; it's simply not possible for any completely normal human to compete against them in any meaningful way. So if you insist that Luther was a normal human at that time, he could still be an infamous assassin, just not one of the best.

3. For a powerful crime boss who could supposedly get away with anything, George Carleon seemed to have been incarcerated way too easily. Couldn't Carleon have made bribes or pulled some strings to get himself released from jail? The Federation is corrupt enough to let something like that happen, considering how influential Carleon must be.

4. Even if Carleon himself was jailed, the rest of his family should've still held considerable power, shouldn't they? I don't think it's very feasible for Luther to have wiped them all out single-handedly, since the Carleon family surely had superpowered bodyguards and other combatants working for them. If the Carleon family was a somewhat less significant crime gang, then it's more feasible, but not if they were one of the most powerful mobs in the underworld.

5. When did Luther actually gain his psionic powers? Did they come together with his cyborg body when FIRA modified him? If so, you should clarify that in his biography.

6. All of Luther's skills except Combat should actually be listed under cybernetic abilities, since they're the results of his cybernetic enhancement.

7. The Psionic Wave ability shouldn't have a 100% chance to completely incapacitate all technology around Luther, since such a thing would be ludicrously overpowered in a world where a significant portion of superhuman abilities are based on technology. Instead, the ability should release a wave of psionic energy that passes through solid matter and temporarily disrupts structures made of energy, including the internal circuitry of machines and the mana vessels of magic users. Everything affected by the ability would have its energy-based abilities and properties weakened, and possibly paralyzed, until the effect wears off. The magnitude of the weakening effect would be proportional to the difference between Luther's power level and the victim's power level, possibly modified by skill level, so more powerful and robustly designed machines would be less affected. With this change to the ability, it will no longer be absolutely effective all the time, but it's now more versatile since it can affect things other than technology.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

I've finally made my first IC post. All players who have been accepted can start posting now. If you have any overarching plot ideas, post them in the OOC tab or PM me.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by lydyn
Raw
Avatar of lydyn

lydyn Meow!~

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

Yay posts!~ Though ... you guys might be weirded out by my third person writing, since you two are likely more used to first person. :p Guess it's a difference of perception, but I don't like using first person because in some small way, it implies that the character either is me or I want to be them ... neither are true. They're just a persona. ^.^
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by CapLaPorte
Raw
Avatar of CapLaPorte

CapLaPorte Police Inspector

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

I'm going to post this now but to be clear; the bit about the Church of Remus exists entirely on @Melonhead's perogative. I shot him a PM about it but he went offline just after I sent it. If he doesn't want me to be a part of the faction I'll remove it. Anyway, here's this.


Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by MelonHead
Raw
Avatar of MelonHead

MelonHead The Fighting Fruit

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

I'm fine with CapLaPorte being a member, and for future reference if anyone wants to be a ground level follower in the Church they can without my express permission, I'd only ask for it if they wanted to be a Sion (Church leader) of one of the capitols.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Palamon
Raw
Avatar of Palamon

Palamon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

I'll have an IC up later today, got a long train ride to work on it. :]

--Edit--

Posted

--Edit #2--

Fixed the horrid errors. I blame the train engineer's... enginneringness?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

@CapLaPorte: Changing how the matter making up an object is affected by gravity requires enchanting, i.e. infusing magical energies into matter. It is usually something that can't be quickly and easily done on the spot, even on non-magical objects. I suggest that the Lighten Load spell is changed to a form of limited telekinesis; Stanley can extend kinetic energy from his hand to wrap around an object and move it, adding his magical power to his physical strength when lifting things. He can potentially use this to restrain an enemy too, though the energy that he extends can be broken or disrupted by the enemy's supernatural powers.

Once you've made this change, your character is accepted.



If no one has any real ideas for plot hooks, I have a pretty basic one. The Church of Remus and Knights of Saint Peter are both radical factions, anti-Tech and anti-Magi respectively. Their members could run into each other and begin escalating hostilities. Other characters may or may not want to prevent this from turning into a real war.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by lydyn
Raw
Avatar of lydyn

lydyn Meow!~

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

I have a plot for my own two characters, but I'm leaving them apart for a bit to let people interact with them ... probably have Elenor up in a couple days.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by lydyn
Raw
Avatar of lydyn

lydyn Meow!~

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

--Edit--

Posted


The bed, only just long enough that his feet didn’t hang off the end, was pushed into the corner, between the wall and cheaply made sheet metal desk. His quarters were not very large, but they contained enough room. A few feet from his bed was the latrine and a small kitchen area was nearer the door. They were better than what he got when he’d been in the military, so Daryn was grateful for what he got.


Being from the military, I can tell you this - this is like an Airmen's dorm room (equivalent to a private) ... so for him to have been used to less seems rather odd. It's also very odd that this is all a commander gets. Usually high ranking individuals get very lavish and open rooms and offices - so much so that you can actually get in trouble for leaving a mess if your maintenance, in their offices. The only way this would be acceptable for a high ranking officer is if the ship is literally that crowded, haha.

As he moved through the halls, men in newly purchased burgundy Order flight suits saluted and offered the day’s greeting. A measure not necessary or mandated, but done merely out of respect.


Don't know how it works for the churchy people, but in the military, you don't salute indoors unless at an official function receiving an award. :p

Otherwise! Awesome post!~
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by CapLaPorte
Raw
Avatar of CapLaPorte

CapLaPorte Police Inspector

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

@JohnSolaris Change is made! I'll pop him into the characters tab and get up an IC post as soon as I'm ready.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Palamon
Raw
Avatar of Palamon

Palamon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

<Snipped quote by Palamon>

Being from the military, I can tell you this - this is like an Airmen's dorm room (equivalent to a private) ... so for him to have been used to less seems rather odd. It's also very odd that this is all a commander gets. Usually high ranking individuals get very lavish and open rooms and offices - so much so that you can actually get in trouble for leaving a mess if your maintenance, in their offices. The only way this would be acceptable for a high ranking officer is if the ship is literally that crowded, haha.


Being in the U.S military myself (small world right), I can tell you that I know all this, and frist lietenants, what Daryn was when still in the military (or whatever the junior officer equivalent is the UFH) don't get quite so lavish loggings. Most Officers, in the U.S military at least, live in houses with their families. Having been a private before, I can tell you I'd never seen a dorm, and in fact spent all my time in a barracks with the rest of my battery (Artillery equivalent of a company). I'm taking liberties here because it's on a space ship that IS NOT, a military ship. I stated in the CS that all the Order ships are refitted civilian or church ships.

<Snipped quote by Palamon>

Don't know how it works for the churchy people, but in the military, you don't salute indoors unless at an official function receiving an award. :p


ALso, the reason their saluting in doors (on the ship) is because they aren't in the military anymore or never were. Their being a little joky and offering the Commander a salute because they know he'll return it. No one is going to get chewed out or smoked because again, it isn't the military. They follow orders ansd they get the job done, that's their only mandate as a knightly order. Decorum and drill and ceremony don't matter to them.

And last of all, thanks for this because I know it means that you actually read it an enjoyed it.

Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Raven

Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

I am planing a Character to join, although I have a few questions first, do you mind a semi - immortal ie: he does not age but he could be killed and he has lived through the magi age and the tech age and he is now in this age? And if he lived through the magi and tech he could be both? How about a back story that relates to someone else's character? That's all for now, I cannot really get into this right now (two words, school finals) but I will when I can. I am aware of the original limitations and a few ideas conflict, I know. But, that is why I'm asking first
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

@Crimson Raven:

Yes, it's entirely reasonable to have a character who doesn't age. All spirits have that by default, and all beings will stop aging if they reach a certain level of power. But the other parts of your idea don't really work.

First of all, at the end of the previous age of magic, pretty much all mages with any real degree of power participated in the final battle and were wiped out. Theoretically, one could have survived, and stayed hidden during the modern age due to seriously hardcore non-interventionism or something. But I do not want there to have been any magic or magic users during the modern age, so I can't allow that.

Second, your character could've been like my character Evan, whose soul drifted in the Sea of Chaos for a thousand years before reconstituting itself and regaining consciousness. If your character survived the final battle similar to how Evan did, he could've returned to the world at the end of the modern age, and left Earth on a spaceship with the rest of the rich and powerful humans. And then he could've gained Tech powers too as the Tech side developed. But a backstory like that is way too far-fetched, even compared to my own twinked-out characters. It's theoretically not impossible, but I wouldn't even give something like this to one of my own characters.

In other words, no, you cannot have a character who starts out as both Magi and Tech. You could play as another survivor from the previous age of magic, but that would require far more in-depth discussions with me.



On another note, I suggest that the players should find opportunities to have their characters meet up with one another. I could initiate an event that makes PCs run into each other, but I'd rather have you guys do it on your own if possible.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by MelonHead
Raw
Avatar of MelonHead

MelonHead The Fighting Fruit

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Eh John, where exactly is Alice? I'm trying to work out if the mages that engaged your character would fall under my own character's jurisdiction.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

@MelonHead: @lydyn wants to introduce Alice to Elenor, so presumably Alice is currently somewhere near the Kingdom of Alari'in, i.e. in or near Colorado. So presumably the guys that attacked Alice aren't under Johnathan's jurisdiction, or even officially sanctioned by the Church of Remus, since they weren't in Europe. When they fought Alice, she had her power limiters on, and so didn't appear to be particularly powerful; I don't think some random Tech person they found in the wilderness would be worth reporting to the higher-ups of the Church. Though I guess her shapeshifting abilities could be considered a threat, despite her apparent lack of power, since shapeshifting as extensive and advanced as Alice's is rare. You could have the two mages report Alice to the Church authorities if you really want.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by MelonHead
Raw
Avatar of MelonHead

MelonHead The Fighting Fruit

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@MelonHead: @lydyn wants to introduce Alice to Elenor, so presumably Alice is currently somewhere near the Kingdom of Alari'in, i.e. in or near Colorado. So presumably the guys that attacked Alice aren't under Johnathan's jurisdiction, or even officially sanctioned by the Church of Remus, since they weren't in Europe. When they fought Alice, she had her power limiters on, and so didn't appear to be particularly powerful; I don't think some random Tech person they found in the wilderness would be worth reporting to the higher-ups of the Church. Though I guess her shapeshifting abilities could be considered a threat, despite her apparent lack of power, since shapeshifting as extensive and advanced as Alice's is rare. You could have the two mages report Alice to the Church authorities if you really want.


Well, someone was killed. I'm not entirely sure what Church of Remus high level magi would be doing in America though, especially carrying out the sort of action you represented. I'm just going to write it off, as it doesn't fit the structure I'm going for particularly well, anyone can claim allegiance to something after all, so they could just be fanatics that have heard about the Church and don't understand it very well.

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JohnSolaris
Raw
GM
Avatar of JohnSolaris

JohnSolaris Not Banned (Yet)

Member Seen 8 mos ago

You said the Church of Remus has a number of unsanctioned offshoots, so those three mages could be members of one of those offshoots. They could belong to a particularly radical offshoot and try to kill all Tech beings they come across, but wouldn't be officially affiliated with the Church. How's that?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Crimson Raven
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Raven

Crimson Raven *Rolls a Nat 1*

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@JohnSolaris Ah, well that was the reason for my last question. I was thinking my character would have helped the Sorcerer-King complete the ritual for personal reasons, and helped him rule as second-in-command, however as war went on for some reason he turned and gave the enemy invaluable information. Then in the final battle he stuck down and killed the Sorcerer-King, ending magic and his own life. But the magic kept his soul alive and he rebuilt his body. He would not be as powerful as yours, since he didn't actually fuse with the Dweomerheart (spelled?) But he was originally a very powerful mage. I will also make his personality completely different so that the characters are not similar. This is just the rough idea, I'll flesh it out more if you accept it. Its not that far-fetched, really.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by MelonHead
Raw
Avatar of MelonHead

MelonHead The Fighting Fruit

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

You said the Church of Remus has a number of unsanctioned offshoots, so those three mages could be members of one of those offshoots. They could belong to a particularly radical offshoot and try to kill all Tech beings they come across, but wouldn't be officially affiliated with the Church. How's that?


Yeah, something along those lines. Though the offshoots I was going for were more town level in the cities where an actual chapter house is. From a large scale perspective the Church of Remus is still relatively low influence.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet