Wet myself. I can blame it on pills I've been taking for a disease I don't have. I'm golden as long as a doctor isn't there.

Would you rather do one thousand chin-ups a day, or fall asleep during every important thing ever.

Dang if I could do 1,000 chinups every day I must be hella fit, I'd pick that.

Would you rather be haunted by a ghost that makes the water overflow from the kitchen sink every day, or a ghost that sets off your fire alarm in the middle of every night.

The sink. At least I could get to sleep at night even if I couldn't pay my water bill.

Would you rather be hungry forever or look deceitfully like a leper?

I'm always hungry so I'll go with that one.

Would you rather never watch TV/movies ever again or never listen to music ever again?

Never watch TV/Movies.

Would you rather have your soul swallowed by darkness, or never be able to insult someone or be mean again?

Never watch TV/Movies.

Would you rather have your soul swallowed by darkness, or never be able to insult someone or be mean again?

Never be able to assault/be mean to someone

Would you rather ONLY being able to eat lard or ONLY being able to eat manure for the rest of your life

Lard. (ughhhh....)

Would you rather be unable to comprehend anyone, or unable to be comprehended by anyone?

number 2. cause if you can't comprehend anyone, that meanns your head is fucked up, but if ppl can't comprehend you, that doesn't mean your head is messed up, it just means you have a speech or language problem. the ability to think is a value all by itself, and in number 1, you can't do that because you can't understand what they're saying or at the very least, you would not be able to understand what they say and it isn't able to influence your thinking and that's very very bad. you would basically live your life in a room with no input/communication with outside world, that's what number 1 is. number 2 means you can see everything but they can't see you

1. would rather know every particle's position including their quantum states from the beginning of time (and thus be able to predict everything) or would you rather have a superpower where you can at any moment decide on any number of decisions and rewind time so you can choose the decision that you like most after playing them out?

They both sound completely destructive to a human mind, but while the second one would probably lead to a lot of obsession and paranoia about going back to the exact right time and choosing out of many trivial decisions for their subjective merit, the first one would either overwhelm and kill (and/or enlighten) me, or cause me to transcend conscious thought and become some kind of god on earth. I'd go for the latter. It feels like the premise for a Lovecraft story.

Would you rather have a chance to successfully date someone you find very attractive, or guarantee that your eventual death will be painless?

The second one. There is a lot more to a person then their good looks. Not that I'm one to particularly choose or think of people as 'attractive' and suddenly want to date/be friends with them. Good looks are fine but they could be a cruel-hearted douchebag. A painless death sounds pretty sweet also

Would you rather be able to the read minds of everyone within a 10 metre (or meter if you're American) radius of you with the fact that you cannot stop it therefore getting every single person's thoughts in that area all the time or to slip in and out of consciousness frequently- slipping out of consciousness at the worst possible times.

Mind reading, why not.

Would you Rather;
)Burn Burn Buuuurrrnnn... In the ring of Fiiiirrreee, in the Ring of fiiirrreeee
)Not ever get a single musical reference for the rest of your miserable life.

I'd rather burn, I'm a musical kinda guy.

Would you rather have your genitals crushed slowly in a garbage compactor or have salt sprinkled over a large open wound for an hour?

Salt, the pain would end eventually and I could live with it.

Would you rather be stuck in a MLP or sonic fanfiction? Yes, I was just in the cringe thread if you were wondering.

sonic go sonic the hedgehog i love sonic sonic is the best what needs inacuracy when you have speed? sonic omg omg omg

would you rather
1. be the person or thing in the life before this one?
2. be the person or thing in the life AFTER this one?