As a bonus info, I can inform yo that I breed axolotls.

<Snipped quote by The Mad Hatter>

Where have you been all my life. I've been wanting an axolotl for two years.

<Snipped quote by Joegreenbeen>

Trolling people on Battlefield and changing diapers, mostly. And stuffing my face; I do that a lot.

I've got four different breeds of axolotls. Bow to me as the Axolotl Queen.

I would say I'd sell you one, but I doubt you live closely enough for that. Unless you're a Dane.

Is there anyway you know how to convince my parents to let me get one? XD

Research show that 2 or 3 out of a thousand men are actually able to *ahem* pleasure themselves orally.

• Getting killed in a car accident (1:90)
• Hitting a deer while driving in Hawaii (1:6,267)
• Drowning (1:9,000)
• Having conjoined twins (1:200,000)
• Getting killed by a meteor (1:1,600,000)
• Dying by getting struck by lightning (1:3,000,000)
• Being attacked by a shark (1:6,100,000)
• Being killed using a right-handed product, if you're left-handed (1:7,000,000)
• Becoming president of the United States (1:10,000,000)
• Dying in a plane crash (1:11,000,000)
• Winning the Mega Millions second prize (1:18,500,000)
• Being crushed and killed by a vending machine (1:112,000,000)
• Hitting a hole-in-one on two consecutive, par-3 holes (1:156,000,000)

Bonus for guys: you are more likely to win the Mega Millions jackpot than having conjoined twins!