The little gem listened carefully to her would-be friend's words, the strong urge to burst into laughter and tears tugged at her relentlessly as she did so. Despite this, her expression was blank, though her heart was touched.
"...You're absolutely right. Forgiving anyone just like that is foolish and risky."
A small silence followed, Eve letting in and out a deep breath.
"...Focus on logic. That seems about right. You know, you've always been the wise one of the group," the smallest of smiles twitched across Eve's face, "Save for when you tried handling those weapons."
She let out a chuckle. A melancholic, almost empty chuckle. Though it was more than half her life ago, it felt like it was just minutes from when she was scorning her for mishandling them. Given the chance, she'd have taken that moment back. Taken back any moment in which might've pained her former friend.
"Redeem myself...That seems like the wisest course of action. Yes. Of course. You're right, as usual. I'll do whatever I can, to make up for what I did. You may not want me to, but I want to. I need to. I know I won't ever be able to forgive myself until I try, Sodalite, and I...and if it's not enough...if I can't make up for it, then I ask you forget about me. Forget about me and all the trouble I-I've...I've caused you."
And then the strangest feeling of deja vu washed over Evenkite. Words that weren't her own, and yet were, took over. Though she knew it wasn't possible, she could've sworn she had this exact same conversation a long time ago. There did not exist a 'long time ago' in Evenkite's memory, nor did Evenkite or Sodalite exist back then.
"Forget about me, because I'm...Look at me. I'm small. I'm so, so small. A spec of dust. P-Pathetic, really....I'm too small to be a pr-problem, even to...even to...I...Shouldn't be a problem, T-Sodalite. Someone, n-no, something so small as a Mic-Evenkite...I'll be easy to forget....Y-you could just...crush me like...like a b-bug and...b-be done with it, you know?"
Though the words tumbled out of her mouth without her really being conscious of them, she found her own voice again, and let out a harsh giggle, one belittling herself.
"It's not like I'll live much longer than one, anyways... Just...please promise me though, that you won't let this hurt you anymore if I can't prove myself. And you...You don't need to redeem yourself. What I did was wrong. What you did wasn't wrong. Maybe they were shortcomings on your part, but...It wasn't wrong. You never hurt anyone willingly. Not like me. What you need to do is be forgiven. What I need to do is be redeemed. Don't confuse the two.
...And Sodalite...I know you wouldn't have let her die on purpose. Call me foolish, but I just know you wouldn't. It'll take time to forgive yourself, and you shouldn't rush it, but...Just know I forgive you, even if it is foolish of me."
The tightness in her chest returned. A few moments of awkward silence followed, punctuated only by the gentle shuffling of Eve's left foot, until eventually, a voice ended it.
"C-Can..." she started, the voice that was hers and yet wasn't taking over again, though she wasn't aware of the difference in the least. Yet, she was aware of something...It felt unreal, it felt different, somehow, even though it couldn't be, and forming words was a struggle in itself, never mind the right words.
And then she felt something else. Was she shaking? Was the room shaking? Why did everything feel so surreal? She closed her -widened?- eyes and felt something shift.
And then she felt fear. Sharp, piercing fear. Somehow, it felt familiar. Her still widened eyes darted all across the room and she reached for a sword that wasn't there. She started hard at her right hand, as if its mere existence troubled her somehow.
Is that supposed to be there?
...The hell, Eve, of course it is! Stupid. What kind of question is that? Get a grip on yourself!
In an instant, the fear was gone, but the ghost of the feeling was still with her.
Eve closed her eyes and opened them once more, finding that she had almost fallen down onto the floor. Nothing was shaking. Was anything shaking before? Surely she was just being silly. Like her hand. Her hand was always there. The floor was always steady. There wasn't anyone in the room but them. Why would anything have changed? She blinked a few times before truly finding herself again.
"...Can I have a hug? ...Would you be angry if I hugged you?"
"...You're absolutely right. Forgiving anyone just like that is foolish and risky."
A small silence followed, Eve letting in and out a deep breath.
"...Focus on logic. That seems about right. You know, you've always been the wise one of the group," the smallest of smiles twitched across Eve's face, "Save for when you tried handling those weapons."
She let out a chuckle. A melancholic, almost empty chuckle. Though it was more than half her life ago, it felt like it was just minutes from when she was scorning her for mishandling them. Given the chance, she'd have taken that moment back. Taken back any moment in which might've pained her former friend.
"Redeem myself...That seems like the wisest course of action. Yes. Of course. You're right, as usual. I'll do whatever I can, to make up for what I did. You may not want me to, but I want to. I need to. I know I won't ever be able to forgive myself until I try, Sodalite, and I...and if it's not enough...if I can't make up for it, then I ask you forget about me. Forget about me and all the trouble I-I've...I've caused you."
And then the strangest feeling of deja vu washed over Evenkite. Words that weren't her own, and yet were, took over. Though she knew it wasn't possible, she could've sworn she had this exact same conversation a long time ago. There did not exist a 'long time ago' in Evenkite's memory, nor did Evenkite or Sodalite exist back then.
"Forget about me, because I'm...Look at me. I'm small. I'm so, so small. A spec of dust. P-Pathetic, really....I'm too small to be a pr-problem, even to...even to...I...Shouldn't be a problem, T-Sodalite. Someone, n-no, something so small as a Mic-Evenkite...I'll be easy to forget....Y-you could just...crush me like...like a b-bug and...b-be done with it, you know?"
Though the words tumbled out of her mouth without her really being conscious of them, she found her own voice again, and let out a harsh giggle, one belittling herself.
"It's not like I'll live much longer than one, anyways... Just...please promise me though, that you won't let this hurt you anymore if I can't prove myself. And you...You don't need to redeem yourself. What I did was wrong. What you did wasn't wrong. Maybe they were shortcomings on your part, but...It wasn't wrong. You never hurt anyone willingly. Not like me. What you need to do is be forgiven. What I need to do is be redeemed. Don't confuse the two.
...And Sodalite...I know you wouldn't have let her die on purpose. Call me foolish, but I just know you wouldn't. It'll take time to forgive yourself, and you shouldn't rush it, but...Just know I forgive you, even if it is foolish of me."
The tightness in her chest returned. A few moments of awkward silence followed, punctuated only by the gentle shuffling of Eve's left foot, until eventually, a voice ended it.
"C-Can..." she started, the voice that was hers and yet wasn't taking over again, though she wasn't aware of the difference in the least. Yet, she was aware of something...It felt unreal, it felt different, somehow, even though it couldn't be, and forming words was a struggle in itself, never mind the right words.
And then she felt something else. Was she shaking? Was the room shaking? Why did everything feel so surreal? She closed her -widened?- eyes and felt something shift.
And then she felt fear. Sharp, piercing fear. Somehow, it felt familiar. Her still widened eyes darted all across the room and she reached for a sword that wasn't there. She started hard at her right hand, as if its mere existence troubled her somehow.
Is that supposed to be there?
...The hell, Eve, of course it is! Stupid. What kind of question is that? Get a grip on yourself!
In an instant, the fear was gone, but the ghost of the feeling was still with her.
Eve closed her eyes and opened them once more, finding that she had almost fallen down onto the floor. Nothing was shaking. Was anything shaking before? Surely she was just being silly. Like her hand. Her hand was always there. The floor was always steady. There wasn't anyone in the room but them. Why would anything have changed? She blinked a few times before truly finding herself again.
"...Can I have a hug? ...Would you be angry if I hugged you?"