Meanwhile at the sushi bar:

Taibushi: *eats his sushi like a civilised gentleman*
Asuka: *eats her sushi like a civilised woman*
Mao: *comes in five minutes late because it's FUCKING MAO*
Asuka: dafuq u late sensei do u have liek problems ergh
Taibushi: Hi.
Mao: soz minna i got stuck in a tree for pointless comedy relief purposes lol
Asuka: wai howhat
Mao: i got stuck in tree
Asuka: …
Mao: …
Taibushi: CERAMIC DOLLS AND PLASTIC LEGS
Mao: wait what
Taibushi: uh nothing
Mao: omfg did u-
Taibushi: *gets out of seat and points finger at Mao* i did not have sexual relations with that puppet
Asuka: what about the ceramic dolls and plastic legs-
Taibushi: *makes yamato face* would u liek to see my collection of ceramic dolls and plastic ***** Asuka-san?
Asuka: …

*Squad 14 enters the building*

Tao: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Nagisa: lol tao u annoying little shit light my fucking cig befo u get yo ass BEAT
Shingetsu: um, i actually dont like sushi-
Ozuko: WATASHI WA OZUKO DESU THE GREATEST GOD TO EVER EXIST DESU
Nagisa: okay lets get high because the comedy relief purposes
Tao: *smiles* okay!
Shingetsu: *bangs head on door*
Ozuko: MAKE-EVERYONE-THINK-I'M-SMOKING-HOT NO JUTSU
Nagisa: fuk u im the smoking hot one here (literally) like HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN MY GORGEOUS HAIR YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCK
Shingetsu: *grabs sake bottle* wuterr thooooooose
Nagisa: *gets drunk and gives Mao a lap dance*
Mao: yo dafuq u doin
Nagisa: I NEED YO LURRRRRRRRRVE
Asuka: *hides under a rock*
Nagisa: LIKE A BROKEN ROHOOOOOOOOOOOES

*Squad 13 enters the building*

Kyoko: WAT SHE DOIN WITH MA MAN
Seiji: the fuck…
Nori: *dog shits under a table* ffs dafuq is wrong with u it aint like i go shit around in public like that smh
Kyoko: NAGISA FUCK OFF ONLY I CAN GET SAUCY WITH MAO
Seiji: uh, my squad will have a shut-the-fuck-up sushi and a please-save-me-from-this-madness sake
Nori: STOP SHITTING ON THE FLOOR BOARDS
Kyoko: *runs towards Nagisa* CHIDORI MUZZERFUKER
Seiji: okay seriously kill me please

*A while later*

Kyoko: *wraps arms around Mao* soooooooo how u doin?
Mao: *gulps as he examines Nagisa's fried body under the table*
Tao: *sits next to Asuka*
Asuka: *stares longingly at Tao's hair*
Tao: okay, so to wasabi or not to wasabi that is the question
Asuka: *strokes hair slowly* that's some fine ass hair u got there little boy…
Tao: wait what?
Asuka: *blushes VERY FUCKING LOUDLY* oh nothing sorry you just um… have really nice hair…
Tao: oh thanks i actually use maybelene shampoo so i look well fabulous while kicking ozuko's smexy- I mean flat ass
Asuka: *drools at the sight of Tao's amazing fwuffy wuffy hair*
Taibushi: *plays 'I'm in the friend zone'*
Kyoko: maoooooooo let's get a roooooooooom
Mao: sorry but my bed isn't going to sleep itself
Kyoko: wait what
Mao: MY BED NEEDS ME AND I NEED IT
Nori: lol kyoko-sensei just got rejecteeeeeeed
Kyoko: *runs towards Nori* CHIDORI MUZZERFUCKER
Seiji: *is impaled because he just happened to pass by*
Nori: SEIJIIIIIIIIIIII
Kyoko: lol woops
Shingetsu: omg she murdered seiji
Ozuko: *drops the base* GRAVITY NO JUTSU
Asuka: *face plants into a table*
Ozuko: lol asuka just got beat
Asuka: *turns into a beast* did you just slam mah face into a table
Ozuko: lol yeah so what
Asuka: *grabs him by the hair* SUCH IMPOLITE BEHAVIOR SHALL NOT BE TOLERATED!!!!!!!!
Ozuko: uh, tao? supermodel-san? nagisa-sensei?
Asuka: *throws him outside the window* UNACCETABLEEREERRREEEEEE!
Taibushi: i think I'll go now
Asuka: *swings sword around like a mental fuck*
Tao: oooooooh a sword
Asuka: *takes hair tie out and swings her hair* I WHIP MAH HAIR BACK N FORTH
Shingetsu: *gets trampled on by Asuka*

*Tsunade enters the building*

Everyone: *doing crazy shit*
Tsunade: *punches the wall*
Everyone: oh shit
Tsunade: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???!!!?!!!
Tao: *camera swoops to him* Bwekfest

*Civilians watch in awe as the entire building is destroyed*