The Passion of Christ - Contradictory to its name, its actually not a Christian porno
007: Spectre -- We fired the stunt coordinator, and spent his whole budget on two really big explosions, because that's always been the best part of Daniel Craig's movies, right? Right? ....right? Also, turns out the bad guys from the first movie worked for the bad guys from the second movie who worked with the bad guys from the third movie for the bad guys in the fourth movie, and btw the second movie didn't happen anymore, and somehow it's all because skiing.
Watch it. This is a remarkably accurate plot summary, and you only think I'm kidding.
Twilight Film Franchise: A love story about an emotionless teenaged girl, a 100 year-old, emotionless, teenaged-looking vampire, and a dog.