@TheUnknowableOkay so I'm going to have you change the race. Because I have a race that is SORT of that. Its called a second Lived. They are VERY rare. But basically they are living machines, that are souls which have been reincarnated by a god into their current bodies,

I didn't include it in the races section of the OP because at the time I didnt really feel like including them

So, my guy is a second lived?

My idea was that he was an old world android that happened to survive. His brain malfunctions occasionally, so it corrupts files or deletes them. The brain gets repaired, but he doesn't recover the memories.

@Themerlinhawk

@TheUnknowableWell Galendar is actually a fantasy setting. So the whole technology thing is new. The back story here is that when i originally created Galendar it was a D&D setting. So instead of sci-fi this is really fantasy setting w/ technology. So an android is actually rather out of place in this setting since the closest equivalent is a Golem. Or in this case a Second Lived.

@TheUnknowableWell Galendar is actually a fantasy setting. So the whole technology thing is new. The back story here is that when i originally created Galendar it was a D&D setting. So instead of sci-fi this is really fantasy setting w/ technology. So an android is actually rather out of place in this setting since the closest equivalent is a Golem. Or in this case a Second Lived.

Ok, so I'll make him a second lived or a golem.

I was thinking it was the aftermath of a magical cataclysm or maybe a post-technological society.

@ThemerlinhawkI think I'm finished, but I'd like for you to look it over before I say for sure.

@TheUnknowable Okay, I took a look over your character sheet and I would like a little more elaboration on the tech, what it actually can do/is capable of would be nice :) I love the possessions, those are pretty great. As for his abilities I'd also like for you to explain more about his enchanting skills. Digging the Race and the fact that he is an archer, I'm sure Christian Highfell will get along with him well :) , and also enjoying the image for Cleric17. Thank you for posting!

@TheUnknowable

so here is the official blurb for the second lived in case you wanna tweak some stuff in terms of race:

The second lived are the children of Thotafus the Abuser of the Arcane. These beings are souls which have been returned to bodies of living metal. They were traditionally called The Second Lived but now carry the nickname Soulshells. It is not known how many soulshells actually exist but their average lifespan is 1500 to 2000 years. Upon death their soul is returned to a new body by Thotafus. The Than’toralan never remember their past lives. Possesing of Unnatural or Potent will. Many of the Than’toralan have slowly upgraded their bodies over the course of their lives and many sport large collections of potent enhancements and weapons.

Okay things that may need to be tweaked slightly:

This is the blurb for Yishreenok Galendar's God of the dead. So I think I included this in the opening post but sometimes Gods are worshiped in different forms. Im okay with Xerin being a form of Yishreenok. Just so wer're on the same page though because I have 12 gods for Galendar and they are the only ones. Any variation in God names or appearance or even occasionally power is okay for specific gods that a character worships, but they ARE the same god and I'm only excepting those 12 gods.

Yishreenok is the incarnation of death, decay and disease. Yishreenok is said to guard the world of the dead against intrusion by those who would treat with them. Those Yishreenok has made pacts with are the most powerful Necromancer’s the known world has seen.

Yishreenok is also the guide for those who depart the living world and pass over into the beyond. While The Keeper of the Dead is evil by nature it is not malevolent for the sake of evil, it is a necessary evil beyond the understanding of mortals.

As far as magic and tech goes I'm basically okay with everything however I do believe Grin and Wind Wild need to look at things and they may be asking you for some expansion or changes. Go ahead and adjust that for them if they do.

Last thing. So I'm okay with you doing a Second Lived that is not the child of Thotafus. it opens up a lot of questions about why Yishreenok would be creating Second Lived beings. So that part im good with because it makes a really interesting potential for plot

Other than that finish cleaning it up, edit for Grin and Wind Wild when they review it and you should be good to go

Ok, I was going to have Xerin just be a local version of one of the gods, but with a bit of a cult following. I was thinking Unvaris (who seems to be the god of suffering, which is why I hinted at that in the "other" section), but being a necromancer in my former life would work too. I guess we could say that they were doing it in secret (only 17 clerics and they changed their name) for some reason. Maybe the high priest was a Lich that was working for Yishreenok and I didn't know it?

If that's the case, could I develop the power to raise the recently dead back to life at some point? An actual resurrection, but only within an hour of their death? I wouldn't know of this power, though, but some of the other clerics of Xerin would already have it or a variant (like creating Second Lived).

I'll change things tomorrow to explain the limits of his nanites and enchantments.

Ok, I was going to have Xerin just be a local version of one of the gods, but with a bit of a cult following. I was thinking Unvaris (who seems to be the god of suffering, which is why I hinted at that in the "other" section), but being a necromancer in my former life would work too. I guess we could say that they were doing it in secret (only 17 clerics and they changed their name) for some reason. Maybe the high priest was a Lich that was working for Yishreenok and I didn't know it?

If that's the case, could I develop the power to raise the recently dead back to life at some point? An actual resurrection, but only within an hour of their death? I wouldn't know of this power, though, but some of the other clerics of Xerin would already have it or a variant (like creating Second Lived).

I'll change things tomorrow to explain the limits of his nanites and enchantments.

That would be really interesting, Maybe the character is a Necromancer that Yishreenok decided he wasn't finished with yet so that would explain why Yishreenok is creating Second Lived. That or you could have the High Cleric of the cult actually be the Avatar of Thotafus and for some reason the cult is masquerading as followers of Unvaris (Xerin). There are a couple of things you could do. Its just a matter of ironing out details

Could Unvaris be creating them as some sort of apocalypse plot? The idea would be to return the worst psychopaths to the mortal world, spread them out, and then when you are ready, activate hundreds of sleeper agents to cause chaos, death, and suffering. The death part of it could even be the result of Yishreenok being part of the plan and letting him have the souls in the first place.

@ThemerlinhawkOops, for got to mention you in the first one. I added details to his tech and magic, added an amulet of Xerin to his inventory, and added a personality. Also, two possible Channeled powers depending on who Xerin is.

Could Unvaris be creating them as some sort of apocalypse plot? The idea would be to return the worst psychopaths to the mortal world, spread them out, and then when you are ready, activate hundreds of sleeper agents to cause chaos, death, and suffering. The death part of it could even be the result of Yishreenok being part of the plan and letting him have the souls in the first place.

I'd say if you wanna do that lests leave Yishreenok out that seems more of Unvaris style, especially if Thotafus might be envolved since they are members of the Dark six

Ok, so if he has to have a partner, it's Thotafus.

Do you have any lore written about the gods so that I can understand them better?

mhm

Unvaris was born when Orieon created the heartshaper. It is the other half of the bonded pair. Unvaris is everything that The Heartshaper is not. It is the embodiment of pain, suffering, hatred jealousy and all of the other emotions that the Heartshaper has dominion over.

Unvaris is not an evil god by any stretch of the imagination. It merely is. It is the other half of a being that is not inherently good simply embodies the more desired emotions.

Unvaris Clerics are never willing. They are always those who suffer and continue to suffer, cripples, those in pain and others who constantly stuffer or hate.

Unvaris churches are places of pain. Anywhere the pain has become so intense that it is allowed to manifest in a physical form Unvaris itself has made the place holy. All of Unvaris churches have a Geist. A physical manifestation of suffering or misery. They are occasionally called Pain elementals

Thotafus is the patron of magic abusers, addicts and the Second lived. Thotafus originally created the second lived to inhabit bodies close to golems. They were beings that were denied a rest in the care of Yishreenok.Thotafus collected the denied souls and gave them a second lease on life. While many see it as a blessing, or an abomination. To Thotafus it was a mercy and the spawn of a new race of beings.

The temples of Thotafus are places of addiction and pain, they are also places of redemption and recovery for the addicted.

Thotafus clerics can manipulate the emotions and perceptions of their enemies. They are additionally highly skilled at inflicting precises pain and slowly lamenting deaths upon their enemies.

@ThemerlinhawkUnvaris fits really well with what I wanted. May have to include Thotafus, though, because "They are additionally highly skilled at inflicting precises pain and slowly lamenting deaths upon their enemies."

Can you look over my CS again?

@TheUnknowableOkay as far as plague goes. Is Harn inflicting a disease or is it just suppressing an already existing disease so that the person can go on spreading it unaware?

@TheUnknowableOkay as far as plague goes. Is Harn inflicting a disease or is it just suppressing an already existing disease so that the person can go on spreading it unaware?

He's just suppressing all symptoms so that they think that it's gone, but they are still infected, and possibly more infectious.

Welcome, Unknowable! I really like your character and I'm looking forward to meeting him. One of my characters has a connection to Unvaris which we could exploit in the future. Especially if he can literally hear the god.

Merlin asked me to review your CS so I'll also ask some questions if you don't mind.

- So my most important question is what exactly does HE think Xerin is about? you don't have to spoil us if you have a plot in mind but he just strikes me as the nice guy and that, along with the fact that Merlin said all of Unvaris' followers are unwilling, leads me to believe that Cleric 17 isn't actually aware of what Unvaris is. In that sense, if he thinks he's spreading the word of an unknown god, what does she tell him to say to the people?
- Secondly, about the fire potion, you said it "Explodes when it comes into contact with air.". Is that all it does or can it be used as a coating of some sort to keep fire burning longer etc?

- Under magic, you say he can basically spread plague but does that apply to any disease or just this one?

- If the nanites can be used to enhance attributes in other people's bodies, can't they do the same for his own? Also (correct me if I'm wrong) if the nanites are what maintain his system (keep him alive?), does it weaken him if he loses too many?

Welcome, Unknowable! I really like your character and I'm looking forward to meeting him. One of my characters has a connection to Unvaris which we could exploit in the future. Especially if he can literally hear the god.

Merlin asked me to review your CS so I'll also ask some questions if you don't mind.

- So my most important question is what exactly does HE think Xerin is about? you don't have to spoil us if you have a plot in mind but he just strikes me as the nice guy and that, along with the fact that Merlin said all of Unvaris' followers are unwilling, leads me to believe that Cleric 17 isn't actually aware of what Unvaris is. In that sense, if he thinks he's spreading the word of an unknown god, what does she tell him to say to the people?
- Secondly, about the fire potion, you said it "Explodes when it comes into contact with air.". Is that all it does or can it be used as a coating of some sort to keep fire burning longer etc?

- Under magic, you say he can basically spread plague but does that apply to any disease or just this one?

- If the nanites can be used to enhance attributes in other people's bodies, can't they do the same for his own? Also (correct me if I'm wrong) if the nanites are what maintain his system (keep him alive?), does it weaken him if he loses too many?

1) He sees Xerin as a benevolent goddess, someone who wants to help humanity achieve better lives for everyone. He thinks that she brought him back so that he can redeem himself by making restitution for his past sins. She offers people a chance to live forever, free from the fate of death, and to redeem themselves for their past evil. Not by repaying their victims, mind you, but by devotion to the religion and the temple.
He doesn't know that she's Unvaris or that she only wants people to live forever because they can never be free from suffering that way. Maybe she doesn't really want them to live forever, just to not die without suffering? I haven't figured out that yet. I do know that he's a sleeper agent who's supposed to draw people in and create devoted followers. He'll preach that suffering is just a natural part of life, not something to be avoided. Avoiding suffering brings weakness, etc. The devoted followers will eventually be convinced that inflicting suffering is good, as it makes those that suffer stronger. Also, they won't complain and will be willing to continue serving however She wants.

2) It could be used to start fires, but he'd have to create a different potion to make it burn for longer, as it's designed to burn as quickly as possible so that it gets as hot as possible. I think I'll have a cabinet or shelf in my quarters for less common potions like that.

3)He suppresses the symptoms of viruses, bacterial and fungal infections, parasites, prions, etc. He also makes them more contagious. It works with any of those things, but things which aren't contagious, like cancer, can't be spread.
Also, he thinks he's actually curing them.

4) They could enhance him, but he doesn't know how except in the ways already listed. That means he can heal faster and maybe have more energy than others, as well as being immune to most diseases, partially because he isn't human.
They can create more of themselves, so he would have to lose a lot of blood to not have enough to maintain his systems. He's only adding a drop or two of his blood to the potions, so he doesn't lose anywhere near enough to suffer for it.

His suffering is the conditions his religious devotion puts him in. Also, he's practically a slave to the Xerin's voice in his head. He could ignore it, but it would hurt him for disobeying.