Okay, here's a fun game I played on another forum, so let's try to give it a go here.

The name of the game is "Crush a Wish" and it's exactly that. Basically, one person makes a wish, and the next poster says some thing like "Wish granted." However, like any old genie, they get to twist the wish against the person. Then they put their own wish.

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Example:

P1: I wish I could find some friends.

P2: Granted, but when you do, they turn against you and kill you.
I wish I could actually fly.

P3: Granted, but you need to drink nasty tasting motor fuel to do it.
I wish I had a pony.

P4: Granted, but you fall off of it and crack your skull open.
I wish BBS came out tomorrow.

P5: Granted, but yours gets lost in the mail and it's sold out and you can't get it.
I wish I was taller.

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There are no restrictions to how often you can wish, just don't double post! Oh, and if you want to make a comment outside the game, such as praising someone's thoughtfulness or laughing at a joke, please do it in ( ). Good luck wishing!

I'll start!

I wish I was famous!

Granted, you're famous for being a jerk and everyone hates you. Have fun.

I wish I had a cheese toastie right now

Granted, but the cheese is molded.

I wish I had some eggs.

Granted, but the eggs are from your mother.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but you then get married, live happily for 2 years, have kids, then something goes wrong, she divorces you, and between paying her and the child support you are left living in a tiny shack with no heat, no electricity, and a roommate named Butch who keeps flashing you very creepy looks.

I wish I were President of the UNITED STATES!

Granted but all the world's hate is
instantly redirected to yourself.
Meaning your working quality is constantly
threatened by purposely bumbling colleagues
who actually want you to keep your title
so they can embezzle all your million bucks,
eggs and cheese toasties
blaming all the missing things on you,
of course.

I wish I didn't need eyes to live.

Granted. But you are now in a coma that you will never, EVER awaken from. And your family refuses to pull the plug, expecting you to one day wake. Which won't happen.

I wish I had all the finances I need to get my life in order right now!!

Granted but you suddenly find yourself thrown into stark depression as you realise "money can't buy happiness". You kill yourself a few weeks later.

I wish I had a cigarette right now.

Granted but you burn down your house, your family inside.

I wish I wasn't lazy anymore.

Granted, but now you're unable to sleep, so you die of exhaustion in a few days.

I wish I had someone to massage my feet right now.

Granted. It's a 50 year old foot fetishist.

I wish I had loads a money.

Granted. It's a 50 year old foot fetishist.

Soooooo Dexfoot?

Granted, but your neighbor immediately starts acting weird and then eventually kills you.

I wish Nex weren't such a grammar Nazi.

Granted, but now he doesn't give two shits about grammar now.

I wish I had a job.

Granted. You're a fourth trimester abortionist, paid below the minimum wage through a customer service loophole.

I wish for all English speakers to have impeccable grammar.

Granted, but the United States of America is strictly a Spanish-speaking country.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. You're a fourth trimester abortionist, paid below the minimum wage through a customer service loophole.

I wish for all English speakers to have impeccable grammar.

Granted, but now the only language you speak is Arabic.

I wish Old Guild were resurrected.

Granted, but you're perma'd on the first day.

I wish I could go back in time to undo all of my worst mistakes.

Granted, but every night your dreams are plagued with the consequences of your old mistakes.

Since I've been perma'd in Old Guild, I wish I were Hank.

Granted. You are now Hank Schrader, friendly neighbourhood DEA agent.



I wish the corner store down the street wasn't out of Dr. Pepper. ;(

Granted, but now Dr. Pepper is all that any store sells. Out of toilet paper? Use Dr. Pepper instead.

I wish I had the ability to bake cookies without having to search for a recipe every time.