ImANargleHunter said
Who on Earth just has seven hours free lying around? Like I mean, I'm at school for eight minimum, sometimes ten. There's most of my day, right there.

Oh Nargle, during my LDR/IR with Mike, we would talk all day, often times with our phones on the charger and even falling asleep while the call is still going, and then we wake up in the morning with the call still connected and wake each other up. XD

Beatrix said
Oh Nargle, during my LDR/IR with Mike, we would talk all day, often times with our phones on the charger and even falling asleep while the call is still going, and then we wake up in the morning with the call still connected and wake each other up. XD

dem minutes tho

Awson said
dem minutes tho

Mike had unlimited minutes all around and I had free nights and weekends.

Turtlicious said
Do you ever wonder if your girlfriend is actually a 700lb man from wisconsin?

You do when you're on the internet and you start not to trust them. As for the rest, I'll have to respectfully disagree being in both relationships. Most of my time in actual physical relationships were just that.

Physical.

We wouldn't talk as much, (only an hour or two a day at most,) and when we were together we were more interested in boning and talking about boning then actually building a relationship. A relationship in which you stare at someone and talk can be very draining and a lot of it tends to be superficial, there's only so much time you can spend talking with someone IRL before you both want to kill yourselves., (this again plays into the introvert thing, introverts are content to sit in silence next to a person and call it bonding,) it's a lot easier to pussy foot around issues when you show your physically uncomfortable with the subject matter.Inversely, online relationships tend to cover every object under the sun and require at least 6-7 hours a day of conversation.

I just got off the phone with my girlfriend, (we date both online and IRL,) and...We spoke for 7 hours, 41 minutes, and 31 seconds. (BlueRose was re-named Iris for a shadowrun game and I never chagned her name back ^_^;;)If you're in an actual relationship with someone, you're not going to find 8 hours a day to talk with them, and if you actually asked for that people would call you nuts, clingy, and probably worse.

E: You have to be an introvert to make them work because an Extrovert wouldn't be the kind of person to sit on skype for 8 hours a day, they'd be out mingling and being an extrovert.

I am sincerely sorry about your experience of physical relationships. That's not the norm for me, and most women I know would hate for a relationship to be so physical without any substantial connection emotionally or mentally behind it. Then again, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years and haven't had sex, so we have no other choice but to build a relationship that's based off of emotional and mental understanding.

I also kind of grouped sitting and being content with each other's company as part of physical communication because it counts as nonverbal communication, but if don't see it as that then that's okay too. I am indeed an extrovert and I am perfectly fine with spending five hours on a Skype with my boyfriend, which we do at least 4-5 times out of the week. It's just that I do it after I mingle and whatnot. And the thing is, sometimes it's us talking while we're gaming (that activity is more of a couples thing because I don't play anything unless it's with him), sometimes it's while I'm doing calc homework or online shopping or whatever, but we're able to switch topics from topics that are superficial in nature to really deep in nature. I think both are healthy in a relationship because without the superficial talk, flirting or dirty talk, it would be devoid of any "coupley" affection, and without the deep stuff, there's no way for you to progress the relationship in a way that's not physical.

Basically, I don't think it has anything to do with your personality or being in intro/extrovert; I think it's more of the mentality you bring to the online relationship. I honestly think anybody could have a successful e-relationship given that on both ends the expectations and understanding are the same.

Ariamella said
I am sincerely sorry about your experience of physical relationships. That's not the norm for me, and most women I know would hate for a relationship to be so physical without any substantial connection emotionally or mentally behind it. Then again, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years and haven't had sex, so we have no other choice but to build a relationship that's based off of emotional and mental understanding. I also kind of grouped sitting and being content with each other's company as part of physical communication because it counts as nonverbal communication, but if don't see it as that then that's okay too. I am indeed an extrovert and I am perfectly fine with spending five hours on a Skype with my boyfriend, which we do at least 4-5 times out of the week. It's just that I do it after I mingle and whatnot. And the thing is, sometimes it's us talking while we're gaming (that activity is more of a couples thing because I don't play anything unless it's with him), sometimes it's while I'm doing calc homework or online shopping or whatever, but we're able to switch topics from topics that are superficial in nature to really deep in nature. I think both are healthy in a relationship because without the superficial talk, flirting or dirty talk, it would be devoid of any "coupley" affection, and without the deep stuff, there's no way for you to progress the relationship in a way that's not physical. Basically, I don't think it has anything to do with your personality or being in intro/extrovert; I think it's more of the mentality you bring to the online relationship. I honestly think anybody could have a successful e-relationship given that on both ends the expectations and understanding are the same.

That's where my friendship was severely damaged with the girl I was seeing and later trying to rebuild a friendship with. She is a distant person by nature...like, I ALWAYS want to talk/hang out with my friends, that's just how I am. SHE, however, is the type that doesn't usually talk to her friends every single day. She made a special effort to communicate with *me* everyday because of how close we were (this was after we broke up). The thing is, when one person wants to hang out and do stuff every day, and the other doesn't....it can be a real problem in a friendship. I was feeling hurt, like she didn't like me anymore, and she was feeling like I was pushing too much.

I like what you said about having the same expectations because I've found that to be so true. And if the expectations cannot be exactly the same, a compromise ought to be reached (if the two in question really care for eachother as friends or more than friends, this should be possible), that both people can be happy with. I know for me, it's hard to see someone that I really care about and want to hang out with, doesn't seem to want the same thing from me. It's very hard not to take something like that personally--I guess this is where communication comes in, even just among friends let alone a couple.

Beatrix said
Oh Nargle, during my LDR/IR with Mike, we would talk all day, often times with our phones on the charger and even falling asleep while the call is still going, and then we wake up in the morning with the call still connected and wake each other up. XD

I understand this; it's the greatest. Nevermind if it's a LDR or not, I think when couples do this it just means that they have a good mental and emotional connection with each other.

LoneSilverWolf said
That's where my friendship was severely damaged with the girl I was seeing and later trying to rebuild a friendship with. She is a distant person by nature...like, I ALWAYS want to talk/hang out with my friends, that's just how I am. SHE, however, is the type that doesn't usually talk to her friends every single day. She made a special effort to communicate with *me* everyday because of how close we were (this was after we broke up). The thing is, when one person wants to hang out and do stuff every day, and the other doesn't....it can be a real problem in a friendship. I was feeling hurt, like she didn't like me anymore, and she was feeling like I was pushing too much. I like what you said about having the same expectations because I've found that to be so true. And if the expectations cannot be exactly the same, a compromise ought to be reached (if the two in question really care for eachother as friends or more than friends, this should be possible), that both people can be happy with. I know for me, it's hard to see someone that I really care about and want to hang out with, doesn't seem to want the same thing from me. It's very hard not to take something like that personally--I guess this is where communication comes in, even just among friends let alone a couple.

It does take more communication (more as in, more talking) to set expectations in an LDR because you aren't there to -see- the other person's reactions to what you say, so it's like walking on thin ice when you have to make a compromise and you often have to play the waiting game on each other; as someone said earlier, every word counts. BUT, I do think communication in person can often times be deeper (not necessarily more words, but more layers) which can ultimately make the compromising easier.

Turtlicious said
I think I will add this to my original statement, because it's very important to understand that it only works if you plan to eventually become closer physically, even if it takes years.

I SAID THAT FIRST

Beatrix said
Oh Nargle, during my LDR/IR with Mike, we would talk all day, often times with our phones on the charger and even falling asleep while the call is still going, and then we wake up in the morning with the call still connected and wake each other up. XD

I seriously do not remember the last time I had eight hours of free time. You people are extremely lucky.

ImANargleHunter said
I seriously do not remember the last time I had eight hours of free time. You people are extremely lucky.

This is the internet, and a forum no less. Typically, in order to be active here in any significant capacity, you need to have some amount of free time greater than that of most people. The standards are raised.

I don't see how being extroverted or introverted would make your chances smaller/bigger. Most of the people I know who managed to turn long distance/internet relationships into working physical once have been people of either one personality type. Its about patience, and as Taaj has stated; plans to transition into physical relationships. Even if it takes forever. It comes down to communication, patience and trust as well as planning.

Smiral said
Every time internet relationships are brought up, I want to shove my face into a meat grinder.

Sounds like you had a shitty first hand experience in one.

ImANargleHunter said
I seriously do not remember the last time I had eight hours of free time. You people are extremely lucky.

You make time for it, usually overlapping.

Doivid said
I SAID THAT FIRST

YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T READ IT.

sry

ImANargleHunter said
I seriously do not remember the last time I had eight hours of free time. You people are extremely lucky.

I saw a quote online somewhere,. When you care about someone you make time for them, not excuses. Even if you can only pop in to say 'hi, how are you' it matters to the person, friendship or otherwise.

Heisenberg said
Sounds like you had a shitty first hand experience in one.

It was the exact opposite of a shitty experience, but it was never going to amount to anything.

LoneSilverWolf said
I saw a quote online somewhere,. When you care about someone you make time for them, not excuses. Even if you can only pop in to say 'hi, how are you' it matters to the person, friendship or otherwise.

I'm not sure how that's relevant at all. I am never in a situation where I can verbally communicate with someone for seven hours. I think my longest phone conversation was two hours with a friend, in the middle of the night, and that was extremely unusual for me.

LoneSilverWolf said
I saw a quote online somewhere,. When you care about someone you make time for them, not excuses. Even if you can only pop in to say 'hi, how are you' it matters to the person, friendship or otherwise.

That sounds really pretentious

ImANargleHunter said
I'm not sure how that's relevant at all. I am never in a situation where I can verbally communicate with someone for seven hours. I think my longest phone conversation was two hours with a friend, in the middle of the night, and that was extremely unusual for me.

Just keep them on call when you do other things.

Smiral said
It was the exact opposite of a shitty experience, but it was never going to amount to anything.

You had a shitty experience.

Heisenberg said
You had a shitty experience.

You should keep prying into her life, and making assumptions.

It's Fonz Cool.

:D

People really like to think they know best.