A while ago I joined a game ran by someone I considered a RP friend. For whatever reason, GM them and player me instantly got into conflicts, and I left the situation with hurt feelings and someone that used to be a RP friend, instead of a RP friend. They treated me like a stranger, and it was really kind of shocking and disturbing.

Fast forward to more recent times, and someone I've known for years and wrote with for years is chatting with me. It comes up in conversation that he and I used to bicker about characters and plots and various bits of running a RP. Then he says, "But you and I haven't bickered in a long time."

My response? "It's been a while since you dealt with GM Ruby."

It made me think about the first situation, where someone I felt was a friend was anything but friendly when I joined their game. So I wonder...is there truly a GM you, and a player you? Do you find when you run a game that you act differently, even to people that you're kinda sorta friends with here on the Guild?

Is it ever a problem? Do you even realize it while you're going through the motions?

Yes, I would say there is a Gm you and a you you. For me it boils down to the Rpers. Sure I can be friends with people and have a good laugh but I have found that when I Rp with friends they tend to take advantage of that friendship. Acting like they should get special treatment because they are my friend. (It ends up reminding me of those horror stories of when people when the lottery)

It doesn't always happen but it can. Gm's have their own set of rules for each rp they host, gming becomes a volunteered job in a way. They have to keep things moving, plan out things, keep everything in line.

It is just like any business or job. You have work you and off work you. Sure you may be friends with you boss but if a project is due or a deadline is coming up, your boss is not your friend then, they're your boss.

Same goes with Rp. In Rp, they aren't your friend, they're your Gm. I wouldn't take it personally, personally. Chances are they're just doing their job.

When reflecting, see if perhaps you're expecting more because they are your friend. More leeway with a post or cs, longer time to post. Etc.

I am not saying it is you. Chances are it is just both of you. In an Rp, they're the Gm, you're the Rper. Keep the friendship outside of the Rp and neither take what happens in rp (ic or ooc) personally and you should be fine.

That or the person just turns into Douch Master when they have any semblance of power. Take your pick.

I've GMed a few Roleplays while here on RPG and I have yet to have a fully successful one and that's mostly at my own fault. I'm very laid-back as a GM and therefore have never had any arguments with any of my players. On the other hand, however, I'm very lenient and tend to let people "do what they want" so long as they aren't disrupting the main flow of the Roleplay. Which. . can let you quickly become a doormat to your players and their ideas. In a way, it's not very different from how I might act as a player.

However, I also think that there is also a "GM you" and a "player you".

As a player, you have a duty to fulfill both your character and other players. As a GM, you have a duty to fulfill your character, other players, plot and many other aspects. As a GM, I feel that I am much more organized than as a player. Same goes with leadership, but that's pretty much a given. Anyone can be a GM, but not everyone can be a good one. I'm still learning to become a good one, so I believe that's why I haven't had many personal conflicts with "GM me" and "player me" unlike some of the other stories here.

A good GM has likely run into "GM them" and "player them". After all, people need to adapt to different situations.

I believe in a more open type of roleplay where the roleplayer has just about as much input as the GM, considering of course the Gm's ultimate dream. I don't have much of a different attitude (this is more offsite than here as I haven't GM'd too much here) when being in charge vs being involved besides being a bit more firm at times on keeping things on track. I try to take the more fair perspective when judging things in general, as a player and as a GM - that perspective might come out more when it's me making the descisions, but it's still the same me. That said, I understand folks that adapt differently as player and GM. I do not, however, think one should act ultra-serious and treat folks like strangers - a GM like that doesn't have me in the roleplay, and that's about all there is to it. Gm wise I treaft folks relatively the same... which means I would be friendly with them.

I believe in a more open type of roleplay where the roleplayer has just about as much input as the GM,

An earnest concept, but you need to have a real close-knit group that you can trust to make it even somewhat work. Doing this with a blind group always, in my experience, turns into disaster.

The GM me is in theory a very control and detail obsessed maniac who in practice is overly lax and allows a lot more than he claims he will. For instance in one of the RPs I had that was successful (for a RP, anyways) I explicitly banned aliens that weren't alien alien.

Than proceeded to allow human-like aliens early on as a 'exception' to the rule because I figured it might happen at least once.

Than other humanoids appeared anyways. But I accepted them because digitrade legs, no visible mouth, grey skin color and vertical blinking eyes sounded alien enough.

Than the *shudder* space furries started appearing and I start freaking out.

All the while I was crystalline machines that lived off of blood somehow when not being sacs of flesh (with hand mouths) that get churned by industrial machines.

The GM also has a bad habit of being like a man on a island alone jumping around hoping someone notices him.

I know as a GM I'm probably not the best. I tend to not be the best at group motivations, but as a player I'm much better at driving a story and playing the role.

I also, as a GM, tend to over think to the point where I can burn myself out, and some of my rps have failed due to my own efforts. Wont say too much more, but I do know that I change drastically if I'm running the show. Not to mention I get stressed and paranoid in case I get some people that start up issues. :\

tldr: I change when I'm a GM and don't actually enjoy the management side of things.

Little history lesson, bear with me;

There was once a man called Thomas Wentworth who was a member of parliament in England. He supported "The Petition of Right", a bill that was intended to restrain the power of the king, which was Charles I at the time. He was later offered a position on the King's privy council and became deputy of Ireland. He then began supporting moves by Charles and his supporters to gain more power for the crown.

See, when you're in a position that has certain inherent interests, you often end up supporting said interests. If you end up in a different position, sometimes your interests will change. As a player you want to accomplish things with your own character, but as a GM you want the entire RP to succeed. Just like Wentworth, changing roles can often mean you end up supporting a different set of values than you previously did.

And I don't mean to accuse anyone of being selfish, no; its just a matter of fact that certain roles come with certain implied interests. They don't even have to be purely selfish interests; maybe the GM wants to treat everyone fairly, while the player thinks if they get things their way the RP will be better for it. The only thing is they can disagree on what should be done due to being in different positions, and when those positions change their interests can change too.

Just my two cents. Tl;dr there's a GM you and a player you because the two roles come with different interests.

And just like Wentworth, a selfish GM might anger Parliament and get their head chopped off.

That's a big problem I have with GMing, deciding where to draw the line between friendship/friendliness and business. I find myself being much more lax with friends, letting them do things that I might not be particularly fond of and wouldn't let a new person do. Though I've also noticed I'm never sure if I'm being to strict, or controlling, with all my players. I don't want to be a pain in the ass GM who is super strict, but I don't want to allow the players to derail the rp by doing some crazy idea. Whenever I GM I find myself conflicted and unsure how I should act.

*coughs* well I'm just rambling and have probably deviated from the original point of this topic. So... yeah