Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Wade Wilson
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@Wade Wilson It's typically the outspoken people who post 'I'm gay and queer and PROUD' everywhere that are really annoying about it too. I wouldn't have known you're gay, which is exactly why I think people like you are a good example of how to further acceptance for homosexuals.

The goal should be to fit in even if you're gay, not to stand out. Standing out makes you a target. The nail that stands out... ya get it.


Yeah, I've tried not to go posting everywhere "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M QUEER" because it just attracts the wrong attention, due to those obnoxious ones that always want attention. But, to be honest, nobody fits in. We all stand out in our own way. The goal is not to overdo it.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@Wade Wilson I agree, but the issue with that is that if you go around screaming at people that you're gay, 9/10 will say 'okay, cool' and the 1/10 guy that gets angry suddenly takes the face of all heterosexuals.

Which is precisely why people feel villified and start a hetero pride thing.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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Taking pride in your sexuality as the sole factor of your existence is dumb.

I can go much more into detail on this and why I think it's remarkably stupid (I have countered Rica's points before but we got shut down before I ever got a reply) to take pride in your sexuality as if it somehow is the single deciding factor of who you are.

You're more than gay. Lessening yourself to nothing more than gay or whatever the fuck the Tumblrites are calling it now is not only insulting to yourself, but also insulting to me for making me waste my time looking at sexuality where I don't want to see it (namely public space).

If I wanna see girls/guys dancing around half naked celebrating their gayness, I'd go to pornhub and look up the gay porn. But I don't want that, both because I am not gay and because I don't particularly care for other peoples sexualities.


Sorry to just jump in, but you made a statement that always bothers me.
"also insulting to me for making me waste my time looking at sexuality where I don't want to see it (namely public space)."
I don't understand how there are people who say this and don't realize the flaw with it. You are, simply by being in public, incredibly likely to be looking at sexuality. Specifically, heterosexual acts of attraction. Go to your local mall and count the number of straight people on dates, who kiss in public, hold hands, hug, so on and so forth. These things are regarded as "normal" and nobody bothers to think of them as "showing sexuality in public" because it's heterosexuality being shown, which isn't considered "sexuality" because it's the norm and we've been conditioned that way. People only ever say "I don't want to see sexuality in public" when talking about those who aren't hetero of some description.
This lends itself to why gay pride is something worthwhile while straight pride isn't. When you see a male and female hold hands or kiss, nobody cares. Nobody even bothers to think "I don't want to see their sexuality in public" unless they're really going at it, for example, heavily making out. But if a male and male or female and female do the same things, the thought "don't do that in public" appears.
I honestly don't care how openly sexual people are in public, regardless of their pairing. Sure, I might get grossed out if one of the participants has traits that I find undesirable, or if they make noises or give a visual that I personally find disgusting, (for example, heavily making out) but I have no intention of saying or even thinking "hey, they really shouldn't do that in public." I can see why people would feel that way, but if they do, it should be all or nothing. No PDA of any kind, not just no gay PDA.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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Yeh, you couldn't really turn "I don't want to see it in public" into a general argument, I agree. I don't like to see in public box shaped cars, bumper sticker with dead fetuses on them, advertisement billboards, those t-shirts that brag about how sarcastic the wearer is, or traffic cops, but that I don't want to see those things aren't necessarily an argument. Hell, I don't really want to see people not giving me lots of money in public, but i can't do much about that.

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by mdk
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<Snipped quote by Buddha>

Sorry to just jump in, but you made a statement that always bothers me.
"also insulting to me for making me waste my time looking at sexuality where I don't want to see it (namely public space)."
I don't understand how there are people who say this and don't realize the flaw with it. You are, simply by being in public, incredibly likely to be looking at sexuality. Specifically, heterosexual acts of attraction. Go to your local mall and count the number of straight people on dates, who kiss in public, hold hands, hug, so on and so forth. These things are regarded as "normal" and nobody bothers to think of them as "showing sexuality in public" because it's heterosexuality being shown, which isn't considered "sexuality" because it's the norm and we've been conditioned that way. People only ever say "I don't want to see sexuality in public" when talking about those who aren't hetero of some description.
This lends itself to why gay pride is something worthwhile while straight pride isn't. When you see a male and female hold hands or kiss, nobody cares. Nobody even bothers to think "I don't want to see their sexuality in public" unless they're really going at it, for example, heavily making out. But if a male and male or female and female do the same things, the thought "don't do that in public" appears.
I honestly don't care how openly sexual people are in public, regardless of their pairing. Sure, I might get grossed out if one of the participants has traits that I find undesirable, or if they make noises or give a visual that I personally find disgusting, (for example, heavily making out) but I have no intention of saying or even thinking "hey, they really shouldn't do that in public." I can see why people would feel that way, but if they do, it should be all or nothing. No PDA of any kind, not just no gay PDA.


It's sort of a misleading post -- he went into it a bit more detailed later. You're misunderstanding because he was being delicate in that initial post...... what he's saying is, um, can we not have hordes of BDSM-leather-clad people (of any race, gender, or sexuality) parading about the thoroughfare licking dildos. Or at least, can we roll our eyes at that without being called bigots?

Which is perfectly reasonable, when you think about it.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ArenaSnow
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Some days I'm glad to more or less hate all humans equally...
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dolerman
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Some days I'm glad to more or less hate all humans equally...


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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Darcs
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@Wade Wilson It's typically the outspoken people who post 'I'm gay and queer and PROUD' everywhere that are really annoying about it too. I wouldn't have known you're gay, which is exactly why I think people like you are a good example of how to further acceptance for homosexuals.
I'm a bit late, but--

The goal should be to fit in even if you're gay, not to stand out. Standing out makes you a target. The nail that stands out... ya get it.


Dude fuck that. The goal shouldn't be, and isn't to fit in, there is no goal-- there are just people who have been part of a marginalized (still marginalized) group and varying levels of pride in that identity. Some people might make it a bit flashy and take it overboard, but so long as it's just metaphorical beating over the head and not literal, it's not yours, or anyone's place to regulate the excitement with which someone chooses to express themselves.

Like,

>I wouldn't have known you're gay, which is exactly why I think people like you are a good example of how to further acceptance for homosexuals.

>The goal should be to fit in even if you're gay, not to stand out. Standing out makes you a target. The nail that stands out... ya get it.

Holy fuck, this was pulled directly from some Uncle Tom's Cabin shit, dude-- this is the type of shit masters say to their best house niggas, the type of shit white people say tot heir non-ghetto black friends, the type of shit you say to a 'civilized and calm' mixed person in America during literally any time period.

It's shit like this that fuels the flamboyant af pride queens. True acceptance doesn't come from having everyone conform to some hetero-normative standard, excuse the buzzword, but that's cultural fascism.

It's realizing that if you're annoyed by a person, then you don't have to spend your time making judgments around them. If you do, don't let those judgement inform your actions. Hippie shit, we're all stardust, we should be kind and in awe of each other. etc.

<Snipped quote by DarkwolfX37>

It's sort of a misleading post -- he went into it a bit more detailed later. You're misunderstanding because he was being delicate in that initial post...... what he's saying is, um, can we not have hordes of BDSM-leather-clad people (of any race, gender, or sexuality) parading about the thoroughfare licking dildos. Or at least, can we roll our eyes at that without being called bigots?

Which is perfectly reasonable, when you think about it.


I actually don't think so, hiding sexuality just encourages these weird hypocritical neo-puritan societal values, where men and women are simultaneously sexual objects and completely desexualized. Sexual and racial minorities are also typically desexualized-- but when thy are sexualized, it's to serve as a curiosity for the hetero masses. A more open sexual dialogue would only increase our understanding of how such an important part of human life plays a role in our lives from a much younger age.

Alos, like 90% of advertising featuring women is probably pandering to heterosexuality. I actually think this could be a good thing, if we all acknowledged that most of us are sexual beings who are only here because people fuck all the time.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@mdk Thank you. Nail, hammer, head, you got precisely what I was saying.

inb4 'not all gay prides are guys clad in BDSM gear licking dildo's' well do 1 simple google search and you'll find out that there's tonnes of gay prides that are like that.

If it's just a bunch of people waving around a flag then sure. But that's often not what it is. I'd dare say 9 out of 10 times it's not a celebration of survival, it's a celebration of sexuality. And like you said, that often manifests in.. well, sexual shit. I don't want to see that.

It's like having those weirdo's walk around in public with a dog leash on their s/o. I don't want to see that and it makes me cringe.

I have to admit it was a misleading post but you have to realize it's hard to come up with a well-flowing counter argument to 20 points that are raised by gay people, that more often than not have 0% to do with 'gay pride' and more so with 'look, I'm gay, see how poorly we are treated!!!' as a counter argument to everything.

... people like @Darcs who see their ideology as the best one despite that it will simply never work.

Dude fuck that. The goal shouldn't be, and isn't to fit in, there is no goal-- there are just people who have been part of a marginalized (still marginalized) group and varying levels of pride in that identity. Some people might make it a bit flashy and take it overboard, but so long as it's just metaphorical beating over the head and not literal, it's not yours, or anyone's place to regulate the excitement with which someone chooses to express themselves.


Yes it should be. Acceptance = fitting in. Hatred comes from standing out. This is basic history and also basic sociology so please stop inferring you can stand out and at the same time be accepted.

Like this here.

As I said before, gay prides are doing nothing whatsoever to help homosexuals that are a marginalized group (in the USA, which isn't even where I am from).

And yes it is my place to regulate the excitement of people and how they choose to express themselves.

Public space. I explained this before. I'll give you a brief summary, read back my other posts if you want to know more.

The issue I have with gay prides (besides their uselessness) is the fact that they are forced upon people that do not want to partake. For example people living in a certain neighborhood or people traveling to work. 'But heterosexuality is forced upon us too in public spa-' no it's not.

Because it's public space, everyone (including, yes, me, so no thanks, I won't be shut up) can critique and comment on it and that includes making it clear they do not enjoy it and would rather not have it.

You would be right in saying I have no right to regulate it if they did it at a private venue. Which I actually advocated. I would very much enjoy if they did it in a private venue. So I leave you with that. If you're not gonna read my other posts and simply pretend you realize what I am saying, I would not like to further this debate with you simply because you've already assumed multiple things about what I've said and I'd rather not argue with a brick wall.


Like,

>I wouldn't have known you're gay, which is exactly why I think people like you are a good example of how to further acceptance for homosexuals.

>The goal should be to fit in even if you're gay, not to stand out. Standing out makes you a target. The nail that stands out... ya get it.

Holy fuck, this was pulled directly from some Uncle Tom's Cabin shit, dude-- this is the type of shit masters say to their best house niggas, the type of shit white people say tot heir non-ghetto black friends, the type of shit you say to a 'civilized and calm' mixed person in America during literally any time period.


Okay, so you're calling me an Uncle Tom, a slave master, or one of those cray white people that hates black people? Okay fam. If you wanna talk to me about that kinda shit, I'll gladly accept that label. You want to call me a racist right? Fair. I'm a racist. You can call me that from now on if you need to have some label to refer to me as instead of 'Buddha'. Cheers. 'Buddha the Racist' that's me now.

As for those people, no, I'm not really one of those people. I don't go 'but my friend is black so I can't be racist.' I roleplay with a bunch of black guys and I've always been incredibly honest with them when I said I think there is some issues with the black community in America, but how is that at all related to what we are discussing here, you absolute mong? And I think the 'non-ghetto black guy' label is incredibly stupid so fuck you for using that. Being from the ghetto or not does not define blackness you moron.

Besides, I am incredibly ok with black culture and I partake in it myself. Just because I act like the whitest motherfucker alive doesn't mean I don't like black people or anything. I don't go around asking black people 'can I touch your hair' or thinking that I can call them my n____ mostly because I'm not a fucking retard.

Acceptance comes from not standing out. If I don't know a hetero person from a gay person, then how can I do anything other than accept them? And no, this has nothing to do with heteronormativity. It has absolutely nothing to do with pretending you are hetero. I don't care if you fuck a man in the ass every night of the week, I care about if you act like a normal person.

And I'm sorry brother, shit like



doesn't stand out as 'normal person' to me. It's the same reason I don't have a problem with men kissing or holding hands, because it's none of my god damn business, as long as they provide to be normal functioning people of society and don't run around committing some public indecency, I'm fine with it.

It's shit like this that fuels the flamboyant af pride queens. True acceptance doesn't come from having everyone conform to some hetero-normative standard, excuse the buzzword, but that's cultural fascism.


And forcing acceptance on people who do not want to accept something because they disagree is somehow better?

Also I can not agree with calling it cultural fascism mostly because nobody is forced to adhere to a standard (it's not hetero normative in my eyes and my country) because we're not Saudi Arabia.

It's realizing that if you're annoyed by a person, then you don't have to spend your time making judgments around them. If you do, don't let those judgement inform your actions. Hippie shit, we're all stardust, we should be kind and in awe of each other. etc.


... today in things that would never happen in real life.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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<Snipped quote by Buddha>

Sorry to just jump in, but you made a statement that always bothers me.
"also insulting to me for making me waste my time looking at sexuality where I don't want to see it (namely public space)."
I don't understand how there are people who say this and don't realize the flaw with it. You are, simply by being in public, incredibly likely to be looking at sexuality. Specifically, heterosexual acts of attraction. Go to your local mall and count the number of straight people on dates, who kiss in public, hold hands, hug, so on and so forth. These things are regarded as "normal" and nobody bothers to think of them as "showing sexuality in public" because it's heterosexuality being shown, which isn't considered "sexuality" because it's the norm and we've been conditioned that way. People only ever say "I don't want to see sexuality in public" when talking about those who aren't hetero of some description.
This lends itself to why gay pride is something worthwhile while straight pride isn't. When you see a male and female hold hands or kiss, nobody cares. Nobody even bothers to think "I don't want to see their sexuality in public" unless they're really going at it, for example, heavily making out. But if a male and male or female and female do the same things, the thought "don't do that in public" appears.
I honestly don't care how openly sexual people are in public, regardless of their pairing. Sure, I might get grossed out if one of the participants has traits that I find undesirable, or if they make noises or give a visual that I personally find disgusting, (for example, heavily making out) but I have no intention of saying or even thinking "hey, they really shouldn't do that in public." I can see why people would feel that way, but if they do, it should be all or nothing. No PDA of any kind, not just no gay PDA.


Thankfully it's really all or nothing for me.

As I've explained before. Thanks mate. As for your 'you are exposed to heterosexual sexuality'

Yeah but these aren't guys going around wearing BDSM clothes are they now? I have no problems with homosexuals holding hands or kissing, I said that. It's cool with me but there's a line that gay pride partakers like to cross where I start saying 'okay, no more' and it's a line that I don't see hetero's cross very often.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LuckyBlackCat
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I support LGBTQ+ pride, it seems pretty necessary in society. No, being gay, bi, trans etc isn't all you are, but it's a part of your identity. No, it's not all about sex. What about asexuals, for example? Yes, some people do go over the top, but seeing as society pressures them to hide that part of themselves away, you can't really blame them for defying that.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by mdk
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I actually don't think so, hiding sexuality just encourages these weird hypocritical neo-puritan societal values...


I know your post is bigger than just a single line, I promise, I'm not doing bullet-by-bullet dissections of anything, I just really think this sentence right here can be significant. "Weird hypocritical neo-puritan societal values....." Now, I'm just gonna leave this here and suppose aloud that if we changed the word 'puritan' to -- well I was going to say 'religious,' but every time I use it people think I'm insulting them. I'm not. I'm religious. I like religious people. But I'll walk it back.

Let's just say that, in a pride parade, there is (often deliberate) weirdness, there is SOME hypocrisy (esp. considering the topic at hand -- straight people aren't allowed to have a pride parade -- but more generally consider the linked image), and, if we consider 'neo-puritan' to mean people holding certain values and enforcing them upon others, well.... you know what it's a stretch, but I think the school of tolerance has been elevated to near-religious status. Granted, the reason nobody complains is because that's kinda great. But still.

MY BROADER POINT BEING -- I hear a phrase like 'weird, hypocritical neo-puritan' and it sounds like an insult. But buddy, that's all of us. Isn't that the point of a pride parade in the first place? And if you're thinking, 'we're not hypocrites,' then I refer you back to the linked image -- just replace 'religion' with 'sexual orientation.'

Yes, I'm a hypocrite too. Part of being one is, I don't really know it, but I certainly suspect and believe it. My point isn't 'I'm better than you.' My point is we're both assholes, everybody's the same flavor of asshole, so there's no point insulting anyone about it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by LuckyBlackCat
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The circumstances behind Pride are different to the enforcement of religion. Pride started out as a protest against homophobia, biphobia, transphobia etc. It was, and still is, a fight to be accepted, not a bid for attention. This is why Straight Pride is unnecessary. Being straight doesn't put people at a social disadvantage, so straight people don't have to battle institutionalised oppression. (Well, they obviously do if they belong to another minority group, but in that case, their problems don't stem from their heterosexuality.)

I get where people are coming from about the louder side of the LGBTQ+ community. There are queer people who say the loudmouths set back the cause. The problem is, we're constantly expected to be silent, and some people try to defy this by going too far in the other direction. How far is too far, though? It's tricky, to say the least. I mean, I'm not going to do sexual things in public, but I'm open about being bisexual. It's only one part of me, but it's still a part, and yes, I'm struggling to find a balance between downplaying it and overemphasising it.

It would just be nice for my girlfriend and I to be able to hold hands without being scared. It would be great not to be worried about mentioning that I have a girlfriend, and for people not to assume I'm just confused or indecisive. But, sadly, society is still prejudiced against LGBTQ+ people, and while that prejudice still exists, some form of protest is going to have to happen.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Darcs
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Internet argument! Oh boy!

@Buddha
>It's like having those weirdo's walk around in public with a dog leash on their s/o. I don't want to see that and it makes me cringe.

"I don't want to see that and it makes me cringe." I'm not even exaggerating your argument here, dude. This is your argument.
lol I'm sorry the world is so challenging for you. I don't want to see hate crimes, they also make me cringe.

>I don't want to see that.

Then like turn around ahahaha like just pout and cross the street, dude ahahaha

>I have to admit it was a misleading post but you have to realize it's hard to come up with a well-flowing counter argument to 20 points that are raised by gay people, that more often than not have 0% to do with 'gay pride' and more so with 'look, I'm gay, see how poorly we are treated!!!' as a counter argument to everything.

Yes, because that's what gay pride (and the greater LGBT pride) is. It is literally a movement to combat the poor treatment of people. A movement combating those like 200 anti-LGBT bills floating around this year in this country-- and fighting so much more elsewhere. You haven't come up with an argument against it at all, all you've said is that you don't like seeing scantily clad dudes do gay stuff.

This is going to sound like a strawman, but I seriously wonder where you hang out that it's this big of a problem for you.

>Yes it should be. Acceptance = fitting in. Hatred comes from standing out. This is basic history and also basic sociology so please stop inferring you can stand out and at the same time be accepted.

Bruh are you seriously implying in-group bias can't (and shouldn't be) overcome? It's a completely arbitrary caveman brain thing, go read up on Jane Elliott's "Blue eyes–Brown eyes" experiment.

>And yes it is my place to regulate the excitement of people and how they choose to express themselves.

Please reread this. This is not an argument, you're just saying that you're right and I'm wrong because you don't like the point I made.

>Public space. I explained this before. I'll give you a brief summary, read back my other posts if you want to know more.

>The issue I have with gay prides (besides their uselessness) is the fact that they are forced upon people that do not want to partake. For example people living in a certain neighborhood or people traveling to work. 'But heterosexuality is forced upon us too in public spa-' no it's not.

I would like to imagine someone living in little boriqua where there's a giant pride festival every few months is okay with a slightly longer commute for a few days but that's just me.

>Because it's public space, everyone (including, yes, me, so no thanks, I won't be shut up) can critique and comment on it and that includes making it clear they do not enjoy it and would rather not have it.

Oh, no one's trying to shut you up-- it's just that your whole argument is "I don't want to see that and it makes me cringe." like omg I'm not even strawmaning you here ahahaha. But yeah, that argument is the not the basis for anyone to actually listen to you.

>You would be right in saying I have no right to regulate it if they did it at a private venue. Which I actually advocated. I would very much enjoy if they did it in a private venue. So I leave you with that. If you're not gonna read my other posts and simply pretend you realize what I am saying, I would not like to further this debate with you simply because you've already assumed multiple things about what I've said and I'd rather not argue with a brick wall.

>If you're not gonna read my other posts and simply pretend you realize what I am saying, I would not like to further this debate with you simply because you've already assumed multiple things about what I've said and I'd rather not argue with a brick wall.

>I'd rather not argue with a brick wall

[tom_cruise_LAUGHING.jpg]

>Okay, so you're calling me an Uncle Tom, a slave master, or one of those cray white people that hates black people? Okay fam. If you wanna talk to me about that kinda shit, I'll gladly accept that label. You want to call me a racist right? Fair. I'm a racist. You can call me that from now on if you need to have some label to refer to me as instead of 'Buddha'. Cheers. 'Buddha the Racist' that's me now.

Oh wow nigga you seem upset, did I touch on something sensitive? Do you not like considering that you telling one marginalized group "I don't want to see that and it makes me cringe" could be completely damning when applied to a similarly marginalized group?

Do you feel that breeze? It's the point, whooshing way over your head. If you can't see why I would bring up similarities between racial discrimination and LGBT discrimination (aside from the fact that they often literally overlap) then I'm not sure you know enough about this topic to actually argue your side.

>As for those people, no, I'm not really one of those people. I don't go 'but my friend is black so I can't be racist.' I roleplay with a bunch of black guys and I've always been incredibly honest with them when I said I think there is some issues with the black community in America, but how is that at all related to what we are discussing here, you absolute mong? And I think the 'non-ghetto black guy' label is incredibly stupid so fuck you for using that. Being from the ghetto or not does not define blackness you moron.

Okay, cool, mudslinging. Argument over.

For the record-- you just told a queer that it's my fault and I should just fit in, and then tried to a school a black female on what blackness means, said fuck me for mentioning shit you clearly don't understand, then proceeded to have a point fly so far over your head it entered orbit. Then, to ensure that you really won this exchange, you called me a moron.

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@Darcs Maybe the point is that I don't care if you're black or not.

People within the black community have differing views on what blackness is, so I'm sure you can understand that for me blackness is just having the skin color black. Ghetto or not has absolutely nothing to do with that.

Thanks for taking the time to read not even half my post.

For someone saying the point flew over my head, you're awfully far from my actual point, but like I said, brick wall. Enjoy your echo chamber.
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I support LGBTQ+ pride, it seems pretty necessary in society. No, being gay, bi, trans etc isn't all you are, but it's a part of your identity. No, it's not all about sex. What about asexuals, for example? Yes, some people do go over the top, but seeing as society pressures them to hide that part of themselves away, you can't really blame them for defying that.


I mean, in the US, yes, sure. I can see how a LGBT pride can be 'necessary' to a degree in the way that you mentioned. It shows humanity there.

However for 99% of the other countries where prides are held (for example in Europe) these are not necessary because we don't face that much hate crime against anyone within that given community. I've mentioned the statistics earlier and they were really insignificant. I can look it up again if you'd like, and even give you the .pdf but it's in Dutch so it's pretty useless (for you. I found it quite insightful).

I'm curious to see how asexuals partake in a pride. Likely they are part of the crowd that doesn't actually partake in the whole 'dressing up and being 'gay' in public' shebang but rather just enjoys festivities. Which is the part that I don't really have any problems with, as I've mentioned before. (I mean, you replied after me and I think you were responding to me directly.)

In the US and Europe in particular there's a lot of focus on sex, however. For example after the Orlando shooting the support some of the gay business owners gave was in the form of offering rainbow-colored dildo's and vibrators. I read a really good post on Facebook somewhere where someone (whom was.. gay? Queer? I don't know) spoke out against the LGBTQ+ community for focusing so much on sex. I found that a really enlightening post, but I'd be unsure if I could find it again. They were responding to an ad for the rainbow colored vibrators/dildo's.

Again, it's not really the pride that bothers me, it's the content. Private venues exist for this, we have a Kamasutra fair where people do all kinds of shit that have to do with sex. Stuff you can't really do in a public fair. I would like to imagine a 'LGBTQ+ fair' could be a thing especially in America, where a private venue is hired.

Something like Comic-con? IDK. If it was in such a location I might re-consider visiting, since my last few visits to a gay pride have been lackluster and weren't about acceptance whatsoever but was about drinking alcohol and being sexual in public. It was kinda disappointing.

The circumstances behind Pride are different to the enforcement of religion. Pride started out as a protest against homophobia, biphobia, transphobia etc. It was, and still is, a fight to be accepted, not a bid for attention. This is why Straight Pride is unnecessary. Being straight doesn't put people at a social disadvantage, so straight people don't have to battle institutionalised oppression. (Well, they obviously do if they belong to another minority group, but in that case, their problems don't stem from their heterosexuality.)

I get where people are coming from about the louder side of the LGBTQ+ community. There are queer people who say the loudmouths set back the cause. The problem is, we're constantly expected to be silent, and some people try to defy this by going too far in the other direction. How far is too far, though? It's tricky, to say the least. I mean, I'm not going to do sexual things in public, but I'm open about being bisexual. It's only one part of me, but it's still a part, and yes, I'm struggling to find a balance between downplaying it and overemphasising it.

It would just be nice for my girlfriend and I to be able to hold hands without being scared. It would be great not to be worried about mentioning that I have a girlfriend, and for people not to assume I'm just confused or indecisive. But, sadly, society is still prejudiced against LGBTQ+ people, and while that prejudice still exists, some form of protest is going to have to happen.


Did you know homosexual/bisexual women are less likely to be 'oppressed'? Acceptance is higher for gay/bisexual females, than it is for gay/bisexual men.

This was even represented in suicide graphs. I found that quite interesting.

Either way, um, as for your idea that straight people suffer less disadvantages - yes. In America. I mean, in the sense that homosexuals/bisexuals or whatever suffer more. Hetero's can be disadvantaged based on skin color, but I guess that's besides your point.

In Europe any form of discrimination is illegal under an umbrella law that prohibits any kind of discrimination against anyone for any reason. The US has a lot to learn when it comes to that, yes.

However I'm not sure why you'd let anyone and their mom know that you're bisexual. I'm straight and I don't go around yelling at people 'yo, I'm straight!' Isn't it something you keep to yourself, a little? Consider that. For example on a job interview, I doubt your future employer would ask you straight up what your sexuality is. If he does, that's harassment. I think you could file it under that. Ya feel?

I also don't think prides do anything to 'help' acceptance be furthered. It's just a festival/feast thing.

You're not attracting anyone who dislikes homosexuals to that feast and making them change their mind. It's just a gathering of people that have such a LGBT thingie, and then you party with them. So it's just an echo chamber, or at the very least not changing anyone that is AGAINST homosexuality or LGBT people in general their minds, right?

I mean, I'm not going to do sexual things in public, but I'm open about being bisexual. It's only one part of me, but it's still a part, and yes, I'm struggling to find a balance between downplaying it and overemphasising it.


Then by all means. Why do you need to downplay or overemphasize it? Just 'be it' however large that part is for you. If you're the most gay person in existence then by all means be as gay as you want to be. As long as you're not being sexual/indecent in public there's not a problem. Which is exactly why;

It would just be nice for my girlfriend and I to be able to hold hands without being scared. It would be great not to be worried about mentioning that I have a girlfriend, and for people not to assume I'm just confused or indecisive. But, sadly, society is still prejudiced against LGBTQ+ people, and while that prejudice still exists, some form of protest is going to have to happen.


Is something I will never have a problem with. Kiss away to your hearts content. And I mean, I'm assuming you're not really running up to random people and tell them 'hey, I'm a girl, and I have a girlfriend' right? If so then there shouldn't be a problem.

And if people that are close to you find out and can't deal with it, then you have to ask yourself if they were really your friends or family to begin with.

That's just what I think anyway.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ArenaSnow
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ArenaSnow Devourer of Souls

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This is going about as well as discussing politics on the net, I see.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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@ArenaSnow I've actually had some nice conversations in here.
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@Buddha
>Thanks for taking the time to read not even half my post.
>For someone saying the point flew over my head, you're awfully far from my actual point, but like I said, brick wall. Enjoy your echo chamber.

Tip for the future-- don't call resort to calling people morons or stupid if you'd like to have an actual discourse with them-- It has nothing to do with wanting to exist in some echo chamber, believe me. I actually enjoy discussing things like this with people who have different opinions, but if you're going to insult my intelligence because I pointed out the problematic nature of something YOU said, then I'll happily fuck off.

---

So you are aware of the parallels-- it's fair enough if you believe that they require two completely different solutions, but reality is never that clean cut. We need to strive toward the most practical and most utopian solutions for things like this, and I feel many of these solutions are going to result in overlap. I will admit my fault in race baiting though-- the parallels were simply too easy to point out and I knew they'd illicit an emotional response.

So, back to the topic-- your whole argument is flawed because you're implying there's some "common sense" way for people to act. Common sense, shouldn't be relied upon in logic-- it's ultimately based on assumptions, social acceptance and no facts.

Like, define "normal" without relying on synonyms, or implying that heterosexuality is a norm we should all abide by, or the strawman that "sexuality in public is bad" because guarantee you the only studies you're going to find show that teaching kids about sex at a younger age is better for them-- it's another argument for another time.
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@Buddha
>Thanks for taking the time to read not even half my post.
>For someone saying the point flew over my head, you're awfully far from my actual point, but like I said, brick wall. Enjoy your echo chamber.

Tip for the future-- don't call resort to calling people morons or stupid if you'd like to have an actual discourse with them-- It has nothing to do with wanting to exist in some echo chamber, believe me. I actually enjoy discussing things like this with people who have different opinions, but if you're going to insult my intelligence because I pointed out the problematic nature of something YOU said, then I'll happily fuck off.


Dear mrs. I'm black so I decide what's black and what's not.

If you're gonna berate me for calling you a moron, despite the fact that you were trying your absolute hardest to out-meme me while providing no actual sources or info (protip: the idea that ingroup bias was overcome in the blue eyes-brown eyes experiment is false, it was actually proven to be reinforced in that experiment. I know this because I studied this. If you want to know how to overcome ingroup bias I can upload some powerpoints and articles for you to read so that you can figure out what the deal is with in group bias.

In group bias is overcome through multiple complex things that are required (such as having things in common, and conversation). Most of these requirements are not met by either the other races or the blacks. Or the hetero's and the LGBTQ+* whatever)).

Furthermore, maybe calling me an Uncle Tom, a slave owner or implying I'm a racist wasn't the best way to prove your point. And no it wasn't race baiting, because that'd imply I somehow care if you think I'm a racist. I'd just prefer if you openly called me a racist. I know I'm not a racist, my black friends from the Carribean know I'm not a racist (I mean, they've told me blacks from America hate Carribeans more than white people do, but that's just anecdotal.) and so I feel comfortable with my friends and myself. I don't fear being called a racist, I'll just own the label.

> Tip for the future; don't call people uncle Tom's, slave owners or try to tell them they're racist. It doesn't help your point, and it stops discourse. (See how that works.)

... whatever your point was. Your point got lost in your stupid attempt to out-meme me and I still have no idea what the fuck you were trying to tell me outside of the blue eyes-brown eyes thing, which didn't really disprove in group bias.

So, you're the pot calling the kettle black here. 'You called me a moron!' Yes because you called me an uncle Tom, lmao. Just because I'm outspoken means I'm an uncle Tom?




So you are aware of the parallels-- it's fair enough if you believe that they require two completely different solutions, but reality is never that clean cut. We need to strive toward the most practical and most utopian solutions for things like this, and I feel many of these solutions are going to result in overlap. I will admit my fault in race baiting though-- the parallels were simply too easy to point out and I knew they'd illicit an emotional response.
Darcs


First off, as I said above, I don't care about race baiting, you can call me a racist, it wouldn't help you to further your point. Besides that, I think you're overestimating the 'emotional' response. I called you a moron because you thought that implying I'm a racist somehow proved.. a point. I'm still not sure what point. I didn't react emotionally, I reacted by calling you a moron. I don't know what emotion I'd put into that, lol. Anger? I'm not gonna be upset by some black queer woman that is an ocean across from me, who I have no emotional attachment to. Please.

Besides, I'm an Uncle Tom now, so I'll just do what the whites do, right. I'll pretend racism is the worst thing on the world right now, ooooo shock, racism! People are racist, so unexpected, it's not like racism is innate caveman biology that is still active today because humans are animals! No. It doesn't work like that, I like to think I'm a bit smarter than that and I'd like to think you are too, so perhaps we could discuss solutions to this problem, not the problem itself, because anyone with half a brain can see that there's a problem in the USA.

Which isn't even where I live.

Yes. I am aware of the parallels. I am not stupid.

For someone that preaches practical and 'utopian' solutions for things like this, I feel like the movements you stand for (I mean, the 'open movements' you stand for/stand in line with. Anyone can speak for these movements which is part of the problem.) often don't talk about solutions but about problems.

Blacks face this.
Homosexuals face this.

There's never a 'how do we deal with 'this' in this scenario'.

In fact I was gonna point this out as perhaps the reason we didn't get along. I am thinking about solutions. LGBT pride parades are not a solution. In fact they probably drive a further wedge between hetero's and LGBT people. Hence I am against them.

I feel it's important to point out however that I am not saying I am against LGBT's. I am as much against hetero pride as you are (it's nonpractical and doesn't fix anything, therefore not required in public space). You seemed to think I hate black people and gays, but in fact I hate white people and hetero's just as much.

I just want people to act normal -> your next point.

So, back to the topic-- your whole argument is flawed because you're implying there's some "common sense" way for people to act. Common sense, shouldn't be relied upon in logic-- it's ultimately based on assumptions, social acceptance and no facts.
Darcs


Yes. And social norms exist for a reason. Assumptions are a biological process that, again, has to do with the 'tribe'. Facts are subjective in all social situations because there is no facts about anything that has to do with human input. Given that you know a bunch of stuff about sociology I'll take it you will or have already figured out exactly why sociology is a shit-poor example of a 'science' because there's nothing exact about sociology and criminology.

So, yes, the argument is flawed, but in my eyes it's the best argument there is. There are social norms, and LGBT prides often over go those social norms and then they are surprised when people dislike it.

Like, define "normal" without relying on synonyms, or implying that heterosexuality is a norm we should all abide by, or the strawman that "sexuality in public is bad" because guarantee you the only studies you're going to find show that teaching kids about sex at a younger age is better for them-- it's another argument for another time.
Darcs


Normal is just whatever the majority is. And I am not implying heterosexuality is the norm, I'm talking about behavior. Which means going to the gay pride wearing a shirt and having a beer, not going to the gay pride dressed like a half naked man to get weirdly sexual in public. Which does happen. I mean, like I said 2x before, 1 google image search for 'gay pride' will show you that and I'm sure we could enhance that search with 'sexual' behind it.

Teaching kids about sex at a younger age is better for them. Which is why my country does that. I mean, I'm not sure if you know where I live despite mentioning it a few times, but I'm Dutch. From the Netherlands. Amsterdam. Haha-weed, wooden shoes and windmills. We were the first country to ever legalize gay marriage. Our hate crime numbers (read: hate crime, not crime against LGBT people, but hate crime in general) are somewhere in the 1000. For a country with 17 million people I'd say that's a pretty damn fucking low number.




Furthermore I felt like you oversimplified my argument. You didn't read all my prior posts where I had this exact same discussion. It's not about 'I don't want to see this'. I am saying gay prides inconvenience people. They happen in public space and it forces people who might otherwise not have a problem with homosexuals to look at the gay prides.

Gay prides that often have content that has nothing to do with acceptance or 'highlighting the horrible experiences of LGBT people' but rather are aimed at having a party.

Imagine that there's a party aimed at heterosexuals, but this party also allows gay people. But the party is really to celebrate being heterosexual. That's a weird concept right? But that's also what hetero's feel when they see a gay pride.

And yes I've been to gay prides and I was disappointed because it wasn't about acceptance or their struggles, it was about getting drunk and being sexual.

And also, I'm contrarian. I don't really care much about this issue whatsoever, I just like arguing, so whatever you're gonna say, I'm gonna try to disprove it anyway. It's a terrible trait, I know, but I just love being right so I always do my best to prove people wrong. Just letting you know so you don't overestimate how much I care for this topic.
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